Hey if you separate from the crowd on anything today, it can be scary. They have brainwashed people to tell them to step back in line in our 1984 like world. Having the parents I had, no Stasi police probably could break me.
I'm out on the fringes faith wise, and in many other areas including obesity. I had a weird moment of having a friend tell me that I have too much of a "crusader" personality. Well in my case I'm not fighting a useless war for a Middle Age Pope but I do make a stand. I told him, "Yes I know I have not conformed, take me as I am because this is what you are going to get."
While I understand the wisdom of choosing battles wisely and not turning every single thing into a debate, I think we need more people to make a stand out there even if they are told they are called crazy, or a kook or told to shut up. My personality is the type, I've had entire rooms laugh at me, and continued forth, no I wasn't debating 9-11 as an inside job sometimes I was just standing up for my principles. Sadly that seems rare today.
Have you seen the movie "Detachment"? Adrien Brody describes doublespeak from 1984 as intentionally accepting lies that you know are lies.
ReplyDeleteNo I haven't seen that one yet. I would love to. Thanks for suggesting it. Sometimes I have something happen this reminds me of narcs and how the flying monkeys would operate where people will agree with me BEHIND THE SCENES but never publically. This one weirds me out because I have already stuck my own neck out, what is their risk at that point? It gives me weird thoughts like wondering if these are dynamics related to my disabilities or do most humans just follow the crowd no matter what?
ReplyDeleteEvery Flying monkey that ever dogged my way always had something to gain by besmirching my name and character. It was usually them cheating me out of something and the desire to tell themselves and others that I had it coming.
ReplyDeleteThe Flying Monkeys were rewarded in my family by my NM. She trained them to not get close to me, and she rewarded them with brighter smiles and better treatment. I know mine would triangulate to death and you earned her pleasure putting down the scapegoat of the moment. She did this with my brother on rare occasion, his now ex wife and Aunt Scapegoat on multiple occasions, and I am sure with me even more. I have the memories of visiting my grandmother's house during family gatherings, I am in my teens-30s, and wanting to talk to Aunt Scapegoat and Aunt Clueless and I was too Aspie and not reading the social cues properly but thinking back on this, they avoided me like the plague. I would come smiling and they would hightail it out of the room, and this was the "nicer" ones. Scary.
DeleteYep. "Reminding you of Narcs:" They morph themselves into "The Victim" instead of the "Perpetrator" and your respectful disagreement of their POV or very clear presentation of your POV is twisted into something it's NOT: You "did" something "against" them, the alleged "Victim" and therefore, when you call them on their tactics, you're a "Bully." Simply for having a different POV.
ReplyDeleteYou don't even have to be "on the fringe" in ANY way, Peep. With enough selective use of the "Delete" key, "Cut and Paste" technology etc. in cyber space particularly, you will be attacked for reasons that have NOTHING to do with you personally, but what you represent to THEM:
A "Threat."
Note this is never actually successful because as you observed, it's "carried out BEHIND the scenes." The people who know you, your Character and Integrity will not buy into this BS: They will bring their concerns DIRECTLY to you.
And if they don't? Says far more about them than ever DEMONSTRATED by you. We're ALL adults: That other's choose to act like they're still the "Mean Girls" from Jr. High. is beyond my control. If others decide to "follow the crowd?" shrug. Doesn't change my experience or POV one bit. You can hit the "Delete" key forever, but I know what happened and I refuse to "delete" my memory or experience. I will not be gas lit, I will not tolerate re-writing history; I have a "Zero Tolerance Policy" for the same tactics I grew up with. I don't "lack" compassion; what I will NOT tolerate is exactly as you described, the "behind the scenes" pot-stirring and attempts to sow divisiveness. Uh uh. Won't fly with me. I'm *very* upfront about NOT being "PC." If that offends someone? OK. I'm more than content to live and let live.
However, I believe people when they show me who they are the FIRST time, not the 101st time. I expect Adults to bring their concerns to me directly. If not?
I beat feet as soon as I see this crap going down.
And I don't go back. Ever.
I'm just not that "important." Unfortunately, they've not yet realized NEITHER ARE THEY. Crap on me once? OK: I've treated you with dignity respect and as the adult I believe you are.
But they will not get a second chance. EVER.
TW
Yes the Narcs all claim victimhood as they yell how dare you!Yep. Even just disagreeing with them on any opinion is enough for them to play victim and cry out how horrible you are. My narc relatives would go crazy whenever I dared to differ on any political or other beliefs. I had an entire room shout me down once for daring to take an opposite stand once. One aunt cut me off for good over this and told people she didn't like me. This was the scapegoat who trashed my painting. LOL Yeah maybe they'd hate me if still if I was a mainstream. Sadly in my case not one broke from the hive. I have noticed on a social website, this one friend talking about how acouple aunts helped her out, and I was flabbergasted, some have such a different existence from me. My NM turned each and every one of mine against me. I know I don't walk on eggshells and don't want to impress anymore. I didn't conform with these people so why conform in other places to be liked. I am glad that some people have broken free of the PC brainwashaton. I would rather have people be direct. It is easier to take if someone admits their hate for you even then to play games and get the backstabbing going. I am learning to stay away from two-faced people and those who tell me I must conform to their views to be loved. Those who depart from me or put me down because I disagreed on one point, didn't care about me from the start. I agree, once chance and then on the second, know it is a waste of time and better to get away. A lot of these narc families perfect mind control. I have the hive where everyone is worried about "fitting in", very little realness.
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