a page from "Fat Pat Fights The World", Pat imagines life as a thin person
Double-click this picture to read the cartoon
This article is going to concentrate on how fat people are more apt to face being the scapegoat within their families. It can happen to anyone with any unique differences, such as autism, various forms of neurodiversity, being nonattractive, darker skin color [within the family with racism]. Even being more conventionally beautiful, intelligent or gifted can make one a target in some families with dominating jealousy. This article however is going to focus on the overweight. We know in American culture, being fat is being the lowest on the totem pole. You can't win.
Sharon and Kelly Osbourne make first red carpet appearance since Ozzy’s heartbreaking deathAnorexia is now in vogue again, take a look at Kelly Osbourne and Demi Moore. It's a rehash of 1990s "heroin chic". People think sickly thin is better than any plumpness. Thin never stopped being "in" and things seemed to have reached a new level. Some blame it on Ozempic. I used to write on here size acceptance was faltering. I haven't seen much in the mainstream news about size acceptance in recent years. If anything they want you thinner and the standards have gotten even more extreme. They looked like skeletons to me. Maybe Kelly Osbourne can be a new prop on one of her brother's haunted house and ghost hunting shows. Now there are thin people who don't want made fun of too, but I get tired of these celebrities that help the diet weight industry oppress us all.
The number is a bit shocking....
sourceThe dreams day of size acceptance never happened. Everyone just got sicker and now everyone went running to the Ozempic. I won't take it because it can cause immediate blindness and sometimes I wonder what else is in those shots considering what has happened with the Covid vaxx. It also has other weird effects. Some are talking about how the drug drops motivation for anything and takes the pleasure and enjoyment out of life. Great more zombies, just what we need! We don't want chemical lobotomies!
A lot of the people on it look like they are wasting away. Everyone is still desperate to be thin. Does anyone here remember all the articles I used to write where I theorized they were fattening us all up on purpose for profit? Hmm most people thought I was crazy, but when I look at the Ozempic/weight loss drug landscape, hmm look how that worked out! On Social media, I see these GLP-1 promoting doctors. They are all invested in CICO to the max.
When they wanted me to go on it, they told me it cost insurance $1200 a month, Think of the billions being made! Of course the stuff doesn't bring a permanent cure, you have to stay on it forever or you regain weight. Of course! Whatever brings in the cash!
Doctors [not my functional doctor] are always telling me to go on Ozempic, they mean well, they all know I have Lipedema, it's written on all my charts, but I don't want to take the lizard spit that paralyzes your stomach. I told one, "What's that poison going to do for me except make me throw up more?" I throw up a lot for a fat person. As I wrote years ago, they always go after the stomach. "Fatties supposedly all overeat and the stomach is supposedly the center of all the troubles" instead of the metabolism, brain and the rest of the body.
One term that annoys the hell out of me is "food noise", what's that? Didn't it used to be called hunger? Years ago I read that book "Salt, Sugar, Fat: How the Food Giants Hooked Us". Is "food noise" the addiction stuff humming in the background or is everyone hungrier because food is so devoid of nutrition? The term sucks.
There seems to be a trend of telling people to accept deprivation to be a thin or average weight. People aren't thin naturally like they used to be when bodies worked and food was decent. People in the 1950s didn't have to go on Carnivore diets or extreme weight loss drugs to be normal weights, they lived and their bodies worked. The food had taste. I remember how food tasted when I was a kid and know that changed. Regular processed food, I avoid like the plague, because it does create more hunger and digestive problems.
Were people troubled by "food noise" in the past? Were they having constant cravings? I know my stomach growls more than other people's. I don't care about food for some time once I have a meal and after it, in fact the idea of food grosses me but that 4-5 hour marker comes and I feel like I am starving. Why? Fat people are indeed hungrier than thin people.
Dieting felt like torture to me for a reason. I can't even describe to you the amount of physical pain diets created for me, with hunger pain and endless migraines. Having my Celiac disease dealt with has changed my hunger patterns. There's more absorption probably happening of nutrients. My digestion has changed massively. There's still the pain I describe below but a lot changed. If I go too long without eating [I get busy or don't have money or don't want to cook--often it centers around lunch] I can get bad IBS attacks and get dry heaves. So I make sure to stay on a meal schedule, even for the sake of diabetes.
"Why skipping lunch might matter for IBS:
Gastrocolic reflex: Eating, especially a meal, can trigger bowel activity. Skipping lunch may reduce this signal, but for some, the absence of food can still cause bloating, cramping, or altered bowel habits if the stomach is empty for too long
Digestive rhythm disruption: IBS symptoms can be worsened by irregular eating patterns, which may affect gut motility and sensitivity
This "food noise" crap does tell me they broke something in human beings when it came to natural hunger and food. The food is low in nutrients, they made it addictive, people are physically hungry and the body inside is screaming for nutrition. The addictive qualities of some of the highly manufactured foods has some people coping with endless cravings even when physical hunger is not present. These doctors that tell people "take more GLP-1s" to shut off your brain's cravings and paralyze your stomach worry me. If a person is inflamed and already sick, these things aren't going to improve them. Some people report when they go off these drugs they gain weight.
They really messed people up producing processed foods that worked on the dopamine centers of the brain and this is what we are left with. This gave people thoughts of food and feelings of never being satisfied because the food was empty, processed and designed in a way to produce obsession in the brain's reward systems. That Salt, Sugar Fat book had important warnings. I avoid sugar like the plague to avoid thrush and gain, but also I avoid sugar to avoid hunger. I won't even eat sweetened yogurt. Bags of sugar last forever. I have a bag of brown sugar in here, I bought in 2016. I don't use sugar. I probably should just throw it away or give it to someone. Sugar means hunger, thrush and weight gain. I always hated going to events and everyone would bring out the sugary stuff. It drove me nuts. Give me savory!
This sick capitalist society has put humans into a scarcity mindset, where everything costs so much, and there is only an appearance of abundance, that some human bodies and brains may be switching into a famine mindset that affects them physiologically. This means more hunger, more wanting to eat, more scrounging and foraging, because the food may not be there tomorrow.
The diet crap only helped this too where feast and famine added to the weight and brain-hunger problems. When we get very poor, I get scared of gaining weight from not having enough food or even this inner fear there will
"not be enough". This is one reason I believe CICO is bullshit because scarcity always seemed to make me fatter. When food was freely available, at rare times, I always seemed to lose weight. I had a 80lb weight loss my first year in college because food in the dorms was always there, I didn't even have to diet for this. The abundant lay out of decent sandwiches, salad bars, boiled eggs and soups, took weight off from the lack of food at home. While I got lavish dinners at home, as I wrote about before,
food was limited and poor quality at other meals. Malnutrition ruled.
We didn't miss meals, husband is very good about making sure there is something to eat at every meal but things got very sparse over the last few weeks. One day I ate eggs twice, because there was nothing else to eat, he did a survey and got us canned green beans, chicken sausage and rice noodles for dinner. I am positive that severe poverty, where I did used to miss meals or go 12-16 hours without a meal did affect my own metabolism very adversely. Someone told me years ago or I saw a doctor talking about this, that
Lipedema can put the body in a famine mode [almost like hibernation] where lack of nutrients can impact the weight in a negative way. People don't feel safe in this economy, groceries are so expensive, that there could be a human mechanism of realizing there may be not be food, and ancient trends of a body's reaction to famine could be kicking in even without their real need.
People under constant threat, living in a society that always threatens harm for non-compliance or being ousted from the tribe, don't do well. Add in now more and more expensive groceries and inaccessible food and our being cut from the land and natural environment, it's all adding up to be a mess. Good food is very inaccessible where I live. It's gotten worse too. People talk about how they move to America and get fat all the time because the food is so bad!
I often believe that if I ever felt "safe" and economically sound that more weight loss would happen for me. There's always been a downward trend during more economically safe periods than not. Celiac did bad things to me too. My nutritional profiles were so bad, that I got diagnosed with malnutrition twice and my house call doctors hired a nurse to observe my eating habits, food in the kitchen and more. Why wasn't Peep getting enough vitamins? I was honest about our poverty problems, but obviously they figured out there was some serious malabsorption going.
People don't realize how extreme my eating habits are. I am not harassed about being fat among people I know because they see me refuse food at every gathering and more. It is very hard to find decent food, and the less money the harder it is.
One thing I do is avoid seed oils, I may switch to coconut oil when I can afford it, but there hasn't been Crisco in my household ever, I avoid "vegetable oil" like the plague. You must know I so easily gain weight I have to look at everything even now.
Dieting makes people fatter. The CICO disciples all teach deprivation and going without leads to weight loss. It's bullshit. The more hungrier I was, the more my metabolism fell, the more when I finally got food, it could pack on weight. My severe weight gain happened during the most impoverished period of my life where some days we could only afford to eat once. That meal probably was too large from starving all day, but it definitely was part of the picture. I think those one meal a day people are nuts. It affected my body so badly. Maybe they are thin people free of hunger pains, or have very low desire or physical growling in their stomachs. No migraines for them. I never could understand that crap. My physical symptoms upon dieting were always invalidated. When I tried to diet, I thought of food all the time, especially when there was this last hurrah diet of trying to eat 1600 calories a day. it was so miserable, it never was going to last! That's why diets fail and people regain.
People in America think everyone just decides to be lazy and eat everything in sight and then become fat. It usually is far more complicated than that. Many fat people are fat from childhood. Many struggle to lose weight. For some it's a slow climb, for others like me the weight came on fast via illness though I had more moderate level obesity from childhood on. There is little understanding. Some do say obesity is a chronic illness but then there's so much contradictions where they claim it's all based on willpower or "bad behavior". For years I have talked about how metabolic conditions and metabolism were taken out of the conversations. No one wants to be fat. Everyone who is fat hates it.
My functional doctor has told me he believes stress has impacted my hormones very negatively. CPTSD and obesity walking hand in hand. High cortisols through the roof at times. "You need to relax!" It's hard though in a landscape of scarcity, threats and not feeling secure. We have no tribes even many of us, human society has degraded to a point where feelings of safety people need to feel secure have been taken away on multiple layers. So what is "food noise"? It's a bunch of crap produced by a dysfunctional society that made decent food hard to obtain and put effort into making empty and harmful foods addictive as human bodies went without needed nutrients and peace.
Being fat is hard, in my case it is a symptom of illness which makes it more troubling. I have lost a little weight this year but its hard. I'm getting old now too. How many 500lb people or even people in the 400s, live to be old? I was told I would be dead by my 30s and 40s. My Lipedema is more obvious as I age, one can even see the Michelin man fat distribution in my arms. They are "lumpy". I have lost weight in my arms a bit but seeing videos and pictures of myself, I thought, "yeah you can just tell from how lumpy everything is, I got something else going on!"
I was sick a lot lately, the lupus related problems, and switching from a silent celiac to symptomatic from being gluten free for 18 months has been hard. I am having some problems I have to see specialized physical therapists for. They are so much in demand, this starts in September. `Arthritis has brought mobility problems. My chronic fatigue is bad. It's taken me days and weeks to write this article. Some art projects are being worked on in 1 hour bursts to be set aside. There's an art show to get ready for. I did this one art project where it took months to finish it, it was a zine booklet, because I could only work in short intervals. Add in my ADHD to the max problems here as well. It was a good thing to have kept my promise and was glad how it turned out.
I went on black seed oil recently and I'm starting a new supplement. My eyebrows always thicken up when I get more B-vitamins, I ran out of methylated B vitamins, and my eyebrows thinned out almost immediately. They are back now. I'm troubled now as there are new things he wants me on and I can't afford them. I think of the turn arounds I could do with enough money. These new supplements include Thyroid bloom and milk thistle, and higher dosages of vitamin D. I will get the new stuff as soon as I can. Some of us need more resources and tools to get things done. I need to add more MCT fats to my diet as well.
Many of my friends with stage 4 Lipedema didn't even make it past age 52. I've lost a lot of them. At least I can walk this week so it could be worse. My body scares me. My body still pisses me off. I have to watch these jerks on social media go on about how fat people make excuses and don't exercise enough. There's a lot of thin narcissists out there who love the beat up on fat people games. Sometimes that seems worse to me than it did even 10 years ago. Are fat people being abused more? Fortunately I'm not in real life. I'm pretty protected in day to day life. This is a small town, people are used to me. In my case, they see the walker, weight distribution, deafness, and know this woman has problems beyond the fat. I don't get street harassment like I did when in Chicago. Some of my strange food habits also made themselves known among groups I was in, since I'm allergic to everything and can't eat gluten. However observing other fat people including young ones out in society, they are still taking it on the chin.
Hatred for the fat continues, I see this one influencer on social media whose entire page is people mocking her in the comments. She pivots around wearing all these flouncy dresses. I envy her wardrobe as mine turns into rags. I'm almost tempted to write her and ask her if she has any old clothes she would want to donate to a fellow really fat woman. Her clothes look big enough to fit me though she's far shorter.
I don't know if she has physical problems or what caused the weight. She seems to come from inherited wealth, her parents didn't scapegoat her, she has loving photos next to her fat successful father. You can see the positive memories of them. I found it strange though, she models all these outfits, I estimate her weight to be around 450-480lbs but 90% of her comments are negative, with comments about whales, balloons and buildings collapsing from her overeating. She is always going on cruises and showing off these flouncy dresses. Money gave her such ease, she isn't a serious person like me.
She pushes the traditional size positivity stuff, that has failed in my opinion. No one buys it. There's a few encouraging people but most are fat insulters. She is very rotund, I think she is shorter than I am but she looks like she has some kind of undiagnosed medical problem. Her stomach is very large while her legs are very thin. The comments tell me nothing has changed if anything hatred of fat people is even worse.
It's creepy as so many join the "you're going to die" chorus, like they are glad she will keel over soon. Maybe the wealth brings jealousy too, as she shows off trips and purchases. There seems to be almost a visceral hatred of fat people out there and you can see it online sometimes. The fat are automatically people that others of poor character can feel superior to. In almost every setting [still!] one can tell fat jokes while other various members of the population are spared or there is social exclusion or punishment for doing so.
The false fat positivity stuff, was born out of desperation. Fat people know diets fail. Not all of us can cope with puking our way into thinness or getting our innards rearranged and our stomachs cut out. For years I told doctors I couldn't tolerate the hunger of diets. I kept so many food journals, to realize I eat the same amount of food everyday. If I have a bigger meal, I desire less food later. You realize as the years go on, that the diets fail, they make you miserable. You are eating like normal people [the BED people are in another category] and still remaining fat. You have hunger pain like every other person and the diets bring you nothing but headaches and more thinking about food in all the physical hunger. You face extreme poverty, you can't afford food or leisure activities, you are sick. There's only so much a person can do. I can understand why some go into the false fat positivity. No weakness is allowed or vulnerability, they all feel forced to pretend everything is great! For some of them who are midsized or "rich" like the influencer, life still brings a lot of pleasures. She's only 50 or so pounds away from when disability will strike, but I shouldn't begrudge her, the joys of her life. Money has given her a buffer from some harsh realities. She's also reacting to what the system and society is forcing her to do. She obviously feels forced to pretend it's not a problem. She ignores the betrayal and illness of her own body!
I do feel some annoyance with her like why put yourself on display without clapping back a bit at the insulters? I grew tired of the dancing as fast as I can stuff. This is why they censored me so much. No one wanted someone who admitted how hard it was to be fat, or to ask questions why it happened. I was constantly censored or banned. I was dying and too pissed off to give in to their rules. Sometimes I would try to engage the fat ideologues, and even though I was fatter than them in many cases, many refused to listen to me or let me speak. They often shut me down or ignored me. I walked away from them but even during a short period I re-engaged with them later, none of that changed.
Here's an example of fat hatred mixed with racism....[some of this stuff online has worsened in recent years]
There is a weird line in politics when it comes to fat. The liberals are usually more fat friendly and supporting regular fat acceptance while the conservatives are always insulting fat people. Some conservatives especially hate poor and fat people thinking they have raised their taxes. See the picture above. There was always
this racist crap on X, where they showed some poor usually African American woman getting groceries with food stamps and the MAGAs would scream
"My taxes!" not caring that Trump just sent billions more of their taxes overseas. One reason I stopped posting there beyond the censorship was this kind of stuff. The place is a brainwash factory.
Some of the liberals I think are on to
some TRUTHS about fat hatred having in-roads with racism.
Life for me in conservative churches was harder than when I was in the UU when it came to being fat. I'm looking into finding a new church and my weight worries me. Some churches fast like the Orthodox though I've been told they are forgiving towards people with health problems. The evangelical world can dish out prosperity gospel stuff and seeing bad health as a result of sin. Maybe the Catholics would be friendly enough. Overall, liberal spaces were usually more kind towards the fat.
Look at this post on X. This church would be too liberal and "woke" for me, but notice the mean responses of the commenters, who constantly pound on about "gluttony". You always get the ones lecturing about self-responsibility and who really hate fat people. Just like I hate the right and left culture wars, I hate most of the fat rhetoric. The empty fat/body positivity that ignores the real reasons why everyone is getting fatter and "sicker" stinks but then so do the jerks on the other side who just push the failed answers and condemnation.
They always claim we are fat by choice. Are they mad? Media which is run by the diet industrial profiteers also shows
the endlessly pigging out fat people. This stuff always disturbs me, these people eat meals where I would be throwing up and dying on the floor in pain if I tried to eat that food. My 600lb Life always disturbed me as they showed all those people pigging out. Some were poor or on disability and ordering tons of food, I always wondered how could they afford it?
They show fat people eating tons of sugar. The amount of food this girl eats is not obscene, but what she eats is total and complete nutrition-free crap. Fat people get bad publicity and there's endless videos on social media about how horrible they all eat or they show people going on endless binges.
There endless double messaging too. Hmm that's another sign of fat people being treated like scapegoats. They sell disgusting, health destroying food all over.
Dipping soft-serve ice cream cones in butter is disgusting. So wonder the entire world makes fun of Americans. How come there hasn't been a backlash movement for better food?
There's times I mourn things, why couldn't I have a body I could enjoy during youth? Why did I get stuck with this? Old age being super-fat is really scary. Even if you are diagnosed with many complex things, or even lost a little bit, and people know you once weighed 240 more pounds, there's always the smoke of condemnation in the air. You can't win. I got rid of all the people who treated me like crap for being fat but I think of the wasted years.
Dieting and CICO will remain forever bullshit to me. Hunger is always knocking on my door via poverty and being allergic or unable to eat a lot of foods, and look how fat I have stayed. It's all a joke. At least I have kept it stable. The last two weeks there's been less food but will that make a difference? There's these people always yelling at fat people on social media, blaming eating. These people don't know how good they have it with good bodies and money to do stuff.
I ate eggs twice for breakfast and lunch because there was nothing else to eat. My weight stalled, and we have had less food. "Buy me an Orange!" I told my husband, as he went into the grocery store, like it was a Victorian era luxury. It was an "extra".
One meal at that damn place consisting of chicken sausage, rice noodles and cans of green beans and 2 stupid oranges cost 25 dollars! The meals are more sparse and simple. Shouldn't that mean more weight loss? I do get paranoid that too little food will drop the metabolism and even wonder if there is a process if I feel under threat and scarcity is here to stay, that weight will come on. I've been hungry more times than I can count. My stomach growls too much and well, as I have always said fat people are hungrier. There's nothing to snack on. Rice crackers aren't available in this food desert of a town or cost 7.99 a box. As I get older too some food just seems nasty to me, I don't feel like eating it or think it will taste bad. Every food has gluten in it just about, it's a land of less but the body of course isn't cooperating. It always betrays me.
I know a lot of my friends who died with Lipedema, were tortured like I was for years. Some didn't have abusive families like me but some did, and some faced rejection in different circles. Too many of them were denied medical care they needed. On that score, I've done much better but then needing compression supplies worries me. One reason I decided against moving was being worried I could not replicate the medical care I have now. The rent went up in the poorer town anyway. Even Appalachia is demanding 950-1,000 bucks a month for rent nowadays.
Yesterday I was walking around at a thrift store a little bit. Today I am in bed, everything hurts too much to move. My life is around nice people now at least but this body gets in the way a lot with things I want to do. I had to clean since a friend was coming over, and it took two days, remember all my breaks, I organized art supplies in a cardboard box. My husband had to vacuum but I was moving crap all around between rests. My body felt like it was going to implode. Every day I do anything besides lay like a lump in bed, the price is pain and a lot of it. Society says feel the burn, burn it off, don't be lazy, and my body always responded with pain. The years of not being able to breathe properly with the cardiomyopathy and undertreated COPD really screwed over my younger years too.
People don't even realize just how much joy there is in moving around freely, I always liked to do stuff. Yesterday I told my husband, "I could have walked downtown easy when I was young you know and I would have liked it!" Thin people can eat too and enjoy it and not always have bad thoughts in the back of their heads. Their bodies work. This one never did. If the air gets a little dirty I'm coughing. My ears were ringing so much from endless storms this last week, I thought I was going to go mad, and usually with me, ear ringing is suppressed in the background. It rose up loud more than a few times. I kept getting spells of vertigo. Weather warfare isn't too pleasant to those with Meniere's. My vision gets affected too. I don't even tell everyone this stuff is going on IRL. "Oh hey my brain is addled because I have to look at that horizon line, oh and figure out what you are saying to me reading this transcribe phone but then the scrolling is kind of making me dizzy too!"
You know one thing that was interesting when I went no contact almost now 13 years ago, is I told the family I had advanced stage Lipedema, and also earlier about endocrine/autoimmune problems but not one of them would mention it. Not one of them ever did. They ignored this. That included the extended family that took me longer to go no contact with. Why face it? They got years of use out of me being fat to use that as something to put me down.
For years, I realized too many didn't see who was behind the fat. This included my own family and I have written articles about this problem.
The Social Stigma of Being Supersized in One's Family
The Social Stigma of Being Supersized in One's Family #2
We Don't Love You Because You are Fat: My Shocking Gift
I believe obesity is one of the worse problems to have in a narcissistic family. Chances are a fat person will be chosen to be the scapegoat because the narcissists will choose by appearances or what will bring the most status. Since fat brings very low status in America, the fat kid in the family is more at risk for being chosen as the scapegoat. The fancy 6 figure jobs being handed out to my cousins, and nieces and nephews via family nepotism, wouldn't be given to a fat person would they? One guy is kind of big and "fat" with a good job but Uncle Lost Boy got him a job at his factory. Fat people learn early they are lower on the pecking order and the more severe the obesity the worse your chances. I was more of a smaller fat before the huge weight gain of my late 20s. Fat enough for trouble but not supersized. There's one girl I remember from high school, she was a senior while I was a freshman, she weighed around 350lbs. She really got a lot of harassment and you could tell was left out of everything!
The odds of a child who is fat being chosen as the scapegoat are far higher.
Does it always happen this way? Maybe not, but I think it's more possible. There's lots of fat people I have seen in public even, where I see the fat kid, being talking down to by the sneering mother. There's times I saw loving mothers towards fat children but sadly I saw the other example too. My sister was deemed "better" than me for being smaller. Obesity can bring a pecking order within families. I felt it every day.
There's also been studies, some that I posted here where abuse itself makes a child more prone to obesity. Here's one from the University of Georgia where they say divorce, bullying and other negative experiences increase the risk of obesity in children.
My theories about obesity have advanced, while some do seem to have binging EDs, I think many just have shit metabolisms and their bodies don't operate the same at all. I used to watch these thin women never pass up a piece of pie at church dinners, and none of that food showed up on their bodies. The same toxins producing autism and other people that can barely function also are adding to the weight. People aren't shaped the same anymore, you can tell they are "sick", even the fat distribution on many seems odd like it's hormonally based. There's something wrong with the fact that people are having to do drastic diets like carnivore which I wrote about years ago, and now GLP-1 medications to be more normal weights. Something is very wrong with that picture. The system of course points to personal responsibility as the entire fault but I don't buy it. There's far more going on and it's all neglected. I boil it down to this, the bastards make money off all the suffering of the fat, just like they did with Covid vaxxes. Fat was another prison they locked around us. Fat is social control. They tell us don't get fat, and they made it as easy as hell to do especially if you are poor. The efforts I have to go through to even obtain decent food are wearing me out. They made fat a class marker.
Over the years as I have examined the system, they've done so much to make people fatter. They pushed the low fat lies on us where they pushed carbohydrates on us, they changed farming and food production with chemicals, and pushed seed oils never meant for human consumption.
They pushed extreme stress, and ruined community and safety. They didn't allow people to sleep with long work hours and other demands. They pushed sugar and made sweet things far cheaper than savory foods. Plastics and other obesogens were spread among the population. Dieting ruined metabolisms and increased rebound weight gains. Hormones and endocrine systems were ruined. And they blame, shame and condemn anyone whose bodies show the results of all this. Why? Because they PROFIT of it.
The technocratic industrial complex has made us fatter, but they'll turn to us, and say "You did it to yourself". Isn't that the height of scapegoating? DARVO done by the obesity industry complex!
By these factors a fat person is always put on the defensive, like we have to make excuses to live. Remember the fat hating nurses? Thankfully most nurses I have met here in this town have been nice. I look back at those "dancing as fast as they can" fat people, who push the fat positivity too as culprits though I have empathy for their motives. They are part of the problem. Their overcompensation enables the other side's evils. Hey how many years did I say on this blog, "Something is wrong here?" That never got any full messaging anywhere. They still are at it, and they've gone even more woke and censoring.
Things to think about:
Why do they still push diets when they knew YEARS ago, that they fail?
Why do they push weight loss medicines that have severe side effects like blindness and where regains will come if you go off them?
Why don't they care about the brain effects of these drugs?
Why do they focus on the stomach instead of the metabolism?
Why has nothing been done to make healthy food more affordable or accessible?
Why does the mass of the population still have the worse attitudes towards fat people claiming they are all over-eating gluttons that deserve what they get?
Why isn't anyone questioning why leisure and activity is being priced out of many people's lives and how this is affecting obesity? When you have no money to do anything, you aren't going to lose weight.
Why isn't anything being done about the bad food or the GMOS?
Why do they ignore how poverty influences obesity in America and often causes it?
Being fat in America is being perpetually scapegoated and lied to.
Everything you know about Obesity is wrong
Why do they still give the same CICO and diet answers that failed as much in 1975 as they are failing today in 2026? Are they working now? No.
Sometimes I have seen mothers with one thin child and one fat child and one can see differences in how the child is treated. It happens way too often where I can tell the parent prefers and treats the thinner child better. There was one fat mother, where the poor daughter replicated her exact body shape and was fat too yesterday at a grocery, there was a younger thinner daughter, where you could tell, that girl would be a normal body weight. One doesn't want to project too much on strangers, but I noticed the fat girl hurried away maybe to go read magazines or something and the thinner daughter seemed very doted on. The mother smiled while talking to her, while giving downcast eyes to the fatter daughter.
Over the years, I've seen other fat adults too who were scapegoated. I noticed long ago, other fat people in my family were more likely to be scapegoated, Aunt Scapegoat was fatter in her younger years [the high 200s-lower 300s] and abused over it. My grandmother was nearly as fat as her but once I viewed her being screamed at by my grandmother for eating too many potato chips when I was a child. One thing that can happen often among disordered people is self-hating fat people will unload abuse on other fat people. This happens often in narcissistic families. One of my worse bullies in high school was this boy, that outweighed me by 50lbs!
My brother was the secondary scapegoat and had his own weight problems. He was nearing the mid 400s when I left. In his case, he sometimes could lose weight if he avoided junk food and went to the gym. He usually was in the 300s somewhere but that was fat enough to get some rejection from the family too. His fat kids [both at least 400lbs by the age of 18--I've been gone I don't know where there are weights are now] didn't have their pictures on my grandmother or mother's walls either. I knew a man now deceased who weighed what I did, he was at least 500, but was able to walk and work some. He told me his family often scapegoated him and he was not considered equals to the rest of the family. He never could get jobs even though he could work, and was educated and he had to live at home at a very late age.
I am a super-fat woman, but noticed even among more average sized people that there is a ranking that occurs between the midsized fat, the thin and average. Men it's not as such a big deal but if a man crosses the 300lb mark especially they lose social status. They still don't make very many clothes for any of us. Why can't I find shirts that are long enough for my husband, it's almost impossible. We can never find him pants that fit. One friend sent some clothes to us we appreciated.
Sometimes out in public, you will see the little fat girl with the thin sister, and way too often I've seen the mother treating the thin one far, far better. Why do these women who dislike obesity so much, marry fat men and then abuse their children for turning out fat? My mother married a fat man with an over 400lb mother, but got pissed that two of her children turned out fat! Is that stupidity or just arrogance? I'm not sure. Sometimes when shopping you can see the one fat kid in the family being pushed aside or ignored. The parent looks angry--"this child is embarrassing me". There are fat parents who will treated their fat child with disdain. Self hatred and loathing is piled upon the child. Sometimes both parents are thin and the parents will be both outraged, but some fat or midsized parents will display anger that a child is looking like them.
My mother refused to be seen with me in public for years. At the gas station--"oh you don't have to get out". It occurred to me later, I never had been in a public place with her since 1994. This means during 20 plus years of low contact, we never ate in a restaurant together and she refused to be seen in public with me. It also explains some disinvites when she had people from work or the community at her party. Think about that, and this is a woman who ate out constantly [richer and more vast quantities of food then me] and was always on the run. Her fridge was always busting with cold cuts, deserts, every condiment you could name and a packed pantry and she was only mildly plumb. She ate far more!
Fat people reach a certain point, the "thin" dreams are over. They are over for me. My metabolism is so shot, even not gaining takes work. Last week we were very low on groceries, and I was physically hungry a lot. I'm hungry now even, but delaying breakfast on purpose so there's less food overall for the day. The food portions are a lot less. Last night I dished out like 3-4 bites each of gluten free spaghetti to go with some left over baked chicken I had. I didn't want to make lunch which all we had was some turkey lunch meat to make a sandwich. Lunch yesterday was a sandwich, I cut up some onion on mine, that was my only option.
Maybe I will be able to lose more and the surgery and convalescence screwed me up so I only lost 7lbs in 6 months. I need money to do more things. I need less worry.
If I get to the low 400s at this conjecture, I'll be happy. I told husband I hope it goes down to 400. I will have to do more exercise but at least if one gets down to 399, you're back in "normal" supersized fat land instead of circus fat lady land. You don't want to put off life today for the "thin dreams". It's pissed me off this body has stopped at 460 again, the damn thing always has pissed me off and never done what I've wanted. At least when you get old, some of the thin pressure ebbs, you are old, no one's looking at you, the push to be "attractive" is not as harsh. I'm on a walker. Most people just write me off as "old lady". Once my husband was told, "You take such good care of your mother!" LOL. He's 5-6 years older than me. We would like weight loss to be able to walk, but the looks stuff isn't as pressured.
We are always doing stuff as my body allows. I'm in my leg machine now but going to go out and get free canvases from a Buy Nothing person. I was housebound for a week, that sucks. The weather warfare jerks never leave us alone, and when a northern state hits 110 degrees, give me a break! Sadly most of the population believes their lies. Half my town has no electricity from YET another storm and the electricity goes out every time the wind farts. Ours went out, but I prayed and prayed, turn back on please! My worries of dying of heat stroke from no electricity are real. Thankfully it came back on! Notice these people want to build data centers all over the place, but they can't even keep the lights on. How does that make any sense? This place has gotten so stupid.
There's a constant thrum of disrespect for the fat, that controls American society, you are seen in "the way", "move your fat ass", I noticed when I was young people were always talking about how fat my butt was and treated me like I was "in the way". The abuse at home was bad enough but this affected my self esteem too. The lack of confidence and constant judgment never ended. Young girls are especially abused by the thin/fat codes and it never ends. It doesn't take much added weight for the hammer to fall. A thin girl who gains 20-40lbs knows the changes to their social life. Bullying that is open season on the fat in school continues in the workplace. It's a known fact fat people can't get jobs as much.
Is it wrong for me to be angry that my fat and sick father had children? Why didn't he consider what kind of life they would have? I thought about those things. I was mostly infertile but I thought, "There's no damn way I want another human being to suffer what I have!" Why should I impose 500-700lbs on a child? I once told my brother, be careful having kids, what if they end up super fat? And they both were at least 350-400lbs by the age of 18! One I believe has male Lipedema, but they'll never diagnose or treat him since my own diagnosis was ignored by my family. Many super fat people are infertile, something went wrong in their bodies to make them fat to begin with, but some really should think carefully about whether they want a child to suffer this or not.
Even if I had a child and got them on compression therapy as young as possible and had the money to feed them all whole foods and active YMCA membership with endless sports and leisure activities, they could end up super-obese or with advanced Lipedema, autoimmune/endocrine diseases and have a hard life. They knew about genetics then, didn't any of this cross their minds?
My father suffered for being fat. He was abusive and narcissistic too though he showed some evidence of wanting to do better at times. Those sad cards he sent me, well, the "being clobbered" stuff, definitely had to rest on being a fat man in society and what that entailed. He was usually in the 300s, no ultra-supersized obesity for him, but that was enough. The one thing I don't get about him is why didn't he defend me more as my mother hated me so much for being fat and he was fat too? That troubles me. Did he hate himself so much, that he didn't care that a kid got abused for something that was wrong with him right in front of his face? There seemed no insight among those two that their children from genetics alone could end up having weight problems. The obesity was used for scapegoating. He didn't mock me as much for weight as her, he wasn't in the dressing rooms, but he would comment on it, and force diets as well.
My account at X is no longer active, but there were constant comments against the fat as I talked about above with their racist posts. A lot of it was about poor fat people who cost the government money for welfare or disability. As I have written on this blog for years, fat and poor is the worse combination any human being can have. They are used as scapegoats on the macro-level too.
Years ago I used to write that poverty and obesity are still intertwined. I still believe this. The better food costs more. The higher stress for the poor causes high cortisol. My cortisols are probably through the roof this week and I have been on the verge of tears several times, over not having paper towels on having to wait to get laundry washed due to lack of money. Sometimes I think if I didn't worry about money, 100lbs would fall off immediately. There's times I am so sick of my bills, I seriously could just walk away from my life and I make jokes about running away and asking husband to run away with me. I said to him last night, "Why are we even doing this crap?" [all this money just to have a safe quiet place to sleep and to get medicine and food!].
More healthy people may have joined van life or the commune already. They may have found a way out. Modern American life sucks and I am at least someone who gets some break from the drudge with friends doing art, but life quality is sinking like a rock. I may do a post, called LIFE DID USED TO BE BETTER and I will list what Americans have lost in a very short time.
I have to cook far more than other people to have anything decent to eat, and when I have decent food, my weight is more controlled, when I don't, it's a problem. Decent food is getting harder to come by. Every meal stresses me out. If I get sick trying to skip lunch and spare myself the bother, that is a problem. My blood sugars have been good. Do the doctors wonder why my A1C is lower now but very little weight has come off?
Food is getting more expensive. The other day I was craving a salad, but thought if I buy all the ingredients for it, it would cost me 50 bucks, notice the lady at the 17:55 mark on this video. If I go to the restaurant that makes decent salads, that's 45 dollars for the two of us. This society is so full of crap, pushing for people to be thin, but then making healthy food inaccessible. Hey that's more of the scapegoating process too, we will put all these expectations on you but not really give you the tools.
As they fattened people up and made the corporate food addictive on purpose, they created a bullying control system, that held all the nastiness together. Obesity in America is part of an overall bullying control system. They utilize a trait of the human body to imprison vulnerable people. They profit off it. They use fat to destroy our souls and minds. Who could I have been without such a bullshit body? I have prayed to God that He did us a disservice with fat and weight, and it is a design flaw. I know this may be sinful but I could not help it, it just ruins the human body.
Instead of addressing the failed food system that fails to provide adequate and decent nutrition to our bodies, it's easier for the mega corporations to scapegoat the fat people. It's the reason why they focus on obesity as an individual problem of moral failure, claiming we are all gluttons instead of the systemic one they use and abuse for profit. None of this crap is working, the constant shame, abuses, insults is doing crap all to make anyone thinner, and it seems to be getting worse. I believe all the Ozempic probably in the long term will help with their depopulation campaigns.
One thing that drives me crazy too is they fill our televisions with the most badly behaved fat people. I think My 600lb Life producers probably told all the super-obese to go to town with the eating. It's part of your contract. I read online somewhere they were all required to do those gross bathing scenes. The show has always been full of Mea Culpas and shame put on display. Remember the media is used to prop up the whole sick system. There aren't legions of super-obese people like this in the old days. It happened, especially with rare pituitary cases like Robert Earl Hughes but it wasn't so widespread. Did people all become crazed over-eating "losers" or did the environment grow more toxic where the more vulnerable are multiplying in number?
He made things far worse for fat people. Actually,, some DID have water-weight!
I used to think people on little disability checks couldn't afford that food. I hate that show so much and have posted about it before, so many of them look like lymphedema cases, or undiagnosed Lipedema. Their bodies are swelling up with fluids. You always see the modern side show gawkers, writing insults, about how disgusting they are. Some may truly have BED [binge eating disorders] but all the metabolic cases and those with other conditions like Lipedema just get lumped in and they don't get help or diagnosis. You have to remember I had to bitch up a storm for years to get diagnosed. I would say things like "Why am I so lumpy?" I would write up endless diet sheets and say this is what I had and we are too poor. No one listened to me. That alone makes fat people perpetual scapegoats by the system. No one is ever believed. By the way that hypocrite Dr. Now who looks like he weighs around 280lbs made things worse for fat people in my opinion.
He puts those people on 1200 calorie diets which in most will just drop kick their metabolisms, maybe with some of the BED people he hoped it would take them normal calories but every fat person has done that all or nothing crap, and had it failed. The only thing he did right was to put some in the hospital to lose weight. At least they could see the calories going in and how the body operated. That meme above is wrong too, often very supersized people can EASILY put on hundreds of pounds of fluid, and I am not just talking lymphatic disorders or Lipedema but congestive heart failure and other problems can do it too.
One irony for me is I have 240lbs still off from the 1999-2001 weight loss, which was 250lbs back then. One friend believes that my body wants to be 700lbs again. I would not doubt it. I told a few newer medical people I used to weight 700lbs at the peak and it shocked them. Most likely I broke a world record for weight at one point.
I believe surgery convalescence and my pelvic floor problems have affected my loss though I have remained stable. My Celiac Disease is severe enough that I am too scared to touch wheat or gluten ever again. I have maintained the gluten free diet. My diabetes is far better and sugars have been from 97-110 this week. My chronic fatigue and arthritis are out of control. I am getting old, some would be shocked if I told you my age, and some may ask "How in the hell did she live that long?" Don't forget I am a health food freak and take supplements, I think I would have died long ago except for some very unusual habits. I am not that far from being a senior citizen and I will be eligible for the Senior center very soon. There has been no support either for going completely deaf. Sometimes that one scares me the most, my communication with others got harder and harder.
Getting old when fat is very scary though. Yes, I fear the nursing home. Yes, I fear not being able to walk. I wanted to go to an art fair, but since I don't own a motorized wheelchair or scooter, I can't go. A lot of my needs aren't being met. I plan to talk to the physical therapists I am supposed to see in Sept and tell them I am not functioning that well lately. I can still walk enough to go in the library and on my walker and get a book even in the back if I want and "browse" the shelves but the pain and fatigue seem to be getting worse day by day. Sometimes I do think if it was not for weight prejudice, I may be able to get more help. Would a thin person be able to get disability devices and furniture they need? It's something I ponder. Is my poverty and inability to function based on fat hatred? How much weight discrimination has my husband faced? The financial side of life is impossible. I am looking now to find economic justice and disability groups that may be of help.
If you think about it gaslighting people about a problem they profit off now with their new fake drugs, is one way obesity has been used to control and abuse many people in society. It creates a pecking order, another place to invade the soul and psyche, by destroying the body. It's a way to keep the poorer classes more controlled. Narcissism is part of the fat picture. The narcissist controllers of this society will shame us for being fat but then be make it nearly impossible to escape. Some of us WERE the canaries in the coal mine.
In family circles, you will notice the thin people can get the better jobs, they don't struggle to get work. Sometimes fat people with a unique or extreme STEM skill can do better but weight creates a pecking order within family. Fat people won't be invited to events even within the same family. Class and weight schisms will form. My sister's rich "thinner" family, definitely was not close to my brother's fatter family or Uncle Lost Boy's more overweight working class family. Cousins had barely anything to do with each other. This has worsened as media and standards have changed in American society. Looks trump everything now? I'm not sure. Weight discrimination is rampant inside the family structure. It isn't just the boss refusing to hire you, it's losing invitations or even being part of a family. I've seen this happen with fat people too often, whether they had an eating disorder or Lipedema and other medical problems that caused their severe obesity.
Love, care and good treatment are denied many young fat people are they told they are not enough every day, and this can be small stuff. It's like the constant drip of Chinese water torture. In my everyday life, no one hassles me for being fat but I remember life when I was young. It never ended. "That shirt is too tight", "You smell", "Why are you eating that?" There's pictures I've seen of myself. There's one post high school picture that haunts me, I'm standing in the kitchen, my face is bloated, sheesh what was the gluten doing to me too? I look depressed. My brother, mother and his new girlfriend are in the photo too. There's sneers on their faces. My brother had lost large amount of weight that year, I remember, it didn't last he returned right back to the 300s and had been able to diet down on some weird diet where he ate nothing but broiled chicken breasts and broccoli and Chex corn puffs. I only have a few photos of my past, but some of the photos caught the emotional scenery.
For some fat kids in rude families, that's everyday life. Some get made fun of at school for being fat and then go home and the mocking and meanness never end. Some will even be mocked by self-loathing fat parents. Thin friends will humble brag, about how they can't gain weight or eat ice cream in front of them. Sadly for many fat kids, life becomes a black caul of shame, that is never ending. No one ever lets you forget that you are fat! I knew what it meant for my family to refuse to put my photos on their walls and then later my fat nephews. I don't know how my brother treated my nephews, I'm not sure if there was fat shaming or not, I wasn't around to know but there was unspoken stuff I picked up on before I left. They obviously were not seen as equals to my sister's children.
Sadly society reinforces ill treatment of fat children. The ones who are abused at home go out into a society that abuses them some more, at school, clubs and just out in general society, where they can be made fun of. What is sad, is all these pressures and stresses ruin the health, they add to the obesity problem. They make everyone fatter. Would it be crazy to say that this may be one reason obesity is out of control?
The high cortisols shoot through the roof when you are always on guard and never get to relax. I often thought I was "cursed" to be fatter, "Look how big you are getting!" said to me at least a million times, like they willed it into being. Maybe my mother really is in the occult like Mrs. Curses told me all the time. Some Pentecostal Christians may say she spoke evil into being.
My life as I have written many times on this blog was the opposite of the book "Thinner". The creepy thing is I didn't get to go eat mountains of candy or a chocolate cake like that kid on the movie Matilda. You shrink inside, cowering in the corner, always trying to be smaller. I can see this in all old photographs of myself and it alarms me. I have seen in it fat kids I've run across. When I was a teacher, there were far too many classrooms with a fat kid in it, being made fun of. I would punish the mocking kids passing out detentions or doing time-outs but it was unrelenting. Sometimes teaching could be triggering watching fat kids take so much abuse.
Another thing no one talks about is you are separated from your own body, your body becomes an enemy. After all everyone hates you for your body. Your body has turned on you too. I had this horrible realization that something gets really broken there, my own body hurts me a lot, and I am separate from it. The "I" of me, think this body sucks, does that affect people's health in the long term? Probably. Add in the psychos screaming about every smell and mess, it does a number on young children who are separated from their own bodies too.
No area of life remains untouched for a fat kid being scapegoated by abusive parents. You can't eat in peace. Every piece of food is judged. Some of these fat kids don't have a chance too as their parents dish out the cheap chicken nuggets from a bag, macaroni and cheese and chocolate chip cookies and nothing else. I always got pissed even at the elementary schools I worked at watching the complete crap food they fed children. With the poor ones, I get it, in America the grocery stores are full of garbage and everything good costs a lot. With other ones, I wish the parents made the poor kid a salad once in a while or cut up some cucumbers or gave them some decent baked chicken or boiled eggs. The thin kids can enjoy hotdog day and ice cream with no condemnation.
Then there is clothing. The fat kid tries on clothing and are told "You are too big" and nothing every fits. This sadly reinforces the idea of not fitting in or getting to dress like other children. Often the abusive parents scapegoating the fat child will then tell them it is their fault and some won't buy them needed things. Their already threatened self esteem due to being large, will then drop down because good clothes are hard to find. They can't dress like their peers.
With all these troubles, and turmoils, the fact remains too, that PTSD affects weight. PTSD makes you fatter!
PTSD causes metabolic Dysfunction
A Review of PTSD and Obesity
I have been diagnosed with PTSD [CPTSD] three times by therapists. My functional doctor has talked about PTSD/abuse etc, has impacted my health. See my other posts where I have talked about my PTSD
One thing I want to add is that Lipedema itself and Lymphedema both, are affected by PTSD and stress too. That can go in both directions with the problems causing lots of induced stress. It was known in Lipedema circles that trauma and stress could negatively impact the illness. Some women with Lipedema claimed traumatic events triggered the disorder or worsened it, such as when I had my 400lb weight gain.
Lymphedema and PTSD
Stages of lipoedema: experiences of physical and mental health and health care
Many therapists do tie trauma to Lipedema
"Lipedema & the Trauma Link
One of the most powerful and validating things I’ve found in my research is that lipedema is not just a “fat problem” it’s a connective tissue and lymphatic issue, and for many women, it’s tied to unresolved trauma.
That trauma may have been:
• Childhood emotional neglect
• Medical gaslighting or dismissal
• Sexual or physical abuse
• Chronic stress or burnout
• Even the trauma of being in a body that never “fit the mold”
Trauma lives in the body; it’s not just a mental health issue. It can completely dysregulate your nervous system, throw off your hormones, impair lymphatic flow, and contribute to inflammation. Over time, your body may begin to store that trauma in your tissues. And for some of us, that storage looks like lipedema"
All these scapegoated kids, are having their propensity for obesity WORSENED from the abuse, bullying and cruelties. Mild obesity in childhood may turn into more severe obesity then from the influx of abuse and PTSD experiences and negative social experiences.
One thing I have confronted is I never feel safe. This is not related to any toxic people around me though I certainly could run into one, but the endless money pressures. PTSD is rife in America, maybe that's one reason everyone is fatter here too.
My own history of PTSD and severe anxiety disorders definitely impacted my life immensely and my weight. Even now I believe my ability for weight loss is being impacted negatively by extreme financial stress, even with the more limited food from health reasons and poverty--putting my body maybe into the scarcity place and not being able to meet activity levels/relaxation and other needed things. It is stable but I am not losing the amount of weight I should be losing.
Which by the way impacts people as a whole. An economy that constant stresses people out and puts them in dire need with no ability to get those needs met, destroys people from the inside out, and I believe on aspect of that is destruction of the endocrine system and weight control.
With Big Food, Big Pharm, and too many profiting of obesity, America is definitely the fattest and sickest nation on earth. It's destroying our lives. What they are doing is not working and hasn't worked in 50 years.
I wish I wasn't fat. As long time readers of this blog know, I almost died at the age of 28 from obesity alone, I would be diagnosed with the worse stage of Lipedema at the age of 44. I had endocrine diseases and PCOS now called PMOS diagnosed in my early 30s., that allowed me to lose 250lbs from 700lbs. I have had a very painful life from obesity. I didn't choose any of it. Something needs changed but sadly with this nation being a feeding trough for a bunch of profit hungry psychopaths, my hopes with this are very low. Those with money can make adjustments to overcome some of this, entering the local food movement, find good supplementation, food alternatives and community but if anything they've drawn the net tighter and tighter, making our needs harder to meet.
Life as a scapegoat or now ex-scapegoat, overlapped with my treatment as a fat person in American society. The fat were used, abused and exploited. We were given false answers and still are. The basics have been lost. We were lied to, love-bombed, given false hopes, had DARVO played on us, and multiple games. We were led by a false carrot on a stick.
Fat children will be thrown into a juggernaut now of more abuse, dangerous vaxxes--[I doubt MRNA will have a slimming effect-well until you turn into a skeleton], with more demands and expectations. Some will be given these extreme drugs even at young ages. I don't see many positive changes happening for fat people. Fat acceptance lost truth, which compromised the standing against discrimination part. MAHA was a complete joke that has not made healthy food more available and has not changed health for the better. The diet industry has grown even more encompassing focusing on extreme medications instead of some of the foundational problems.
Fat People are exploited too much for profit.
The Obesity Conspiracy
Hmm effects of industrial society made their impact early?
Emergence of the obesity epidemic preceding the presumed obesogenic transformation of the society | Science Advances
Connecting the narcissism and obesity epidemics.
