America The Stressed Out!

America: #1 In Fear, Stress, Anger, Divorce, Obesity, Anti-Depressants, Etc.

 Think about how our culture is now structured for the average adult: STRESS, everywhere you look--commuting in horrible traffic, as you want to scream in frustration--money stress, to pay rent/house note, tuition, utilities, gas, insurances, vacations, cable bill, rising food costs, and on and on and on--stress from family problems, divorce, delinquency, drugs, crime, infidelity, keeping up with the Jones, etc

. People have too high an expectation of what they should have out of life, and get overly stressed over it all. How does all of this manifest itself? A prescription drug culture (Zoloft, Xanax, etc.) that tricks people into thinking a pill will knock back the stress, when these drugs, in my opinion, only make things worse. 

I am hearing more and more that people just want to drop out from it all, as they are reaching a breaking point, and have decided less income and dependency on entitlements will reduce their stress, and is not so humiliating, so giving up working becomes more acceptable, to KEEP ONE’S SANITY. 

I know I am correct, from the feedback I hear every day, and the financial media does not see this like I hear it every day. People don't want to admit that they are too weak to deal with stress, so the financial pundits are not aware of this critical factor because they don't talk to Joe Sixpack.

This is a good article warning about how life is really getting in the USA. The rest of the world by the way is watching and feeling more sorry for us by the day. How do I know? I hang out in places online where I talk to them. The media here tells us how wonderful life is here, and sure technological advances at least for the rich abound,  but then some of us remember the 70s, the 80s, and how things used to be and think, HEY! I know I am not crazy to see the boat sinking!

They know this place is turning into a police state, that freedoms are being taken away and the American lifestyle has become an empty wasteland and frenzied hamsters on the wheel. Even one of the commenters from the third world had this to say.

"I'm from a third world country. Trust me on this guys. We don't have it so bad here. This is absolutely ridiculously crazy what is happening to Americans.

It is a kind of brainwashing by main stream to perpetuate the myth in first world countries that people in third world countries are suffering more than you, so shut up, take pills and get on with the mind control, 'cos there are people in third world countries suffering more than you.

That is absolutely not true. sure, we have our poverty, share of corruption, bad government etc, however, we get by to live to see our family, friends, good meals and be content with what we have. We don't live on the edge. Our daily life certainly does not involve making hard choices for every decision we have to make.

The point mentioned in the article has simply blown away a guy from even a third world country. On average I can categorically say at this point in time. Americans are suffering more than anyone else on this planet right now."

Wow I am glad that guy spoke out. Yeah shut up and take your pills and get on with the mind control. I've heard the YOU HAVE IT SO GOOD! stuff when stating that something seems wrong with the way of life here. They have put the populace in a place where they can't even question the system or what is being done with their life. Follow the carrot or else!

I am going to admit this, outside of my relationship with God and with my husband, you can add me to the list of the stressed out.  Too many losses have piled up over too many years. Does this make me a bad person? I know this is a risk in the dumbed down "Think Positive" culture that really brings people more pain when they judge them for saying the emperor is naked. Run as fast as you can! What are you nuts for saying life in America isn't the best in the world!

That connections to people are so hard to acquire that part of me just wants to give up. When you have said goodbye to so many not by choice, it adds up.  It's not that I can't make friends, but it seems that  the musical chairs just go on and on, and you end up standing alone too many times.
Maybe I have a personality that was not designed for this society. I am tired of saying Goodbye to people. I miss too many.

One thing everyone else is constantly busy and stressed out trust me they don't have time for you either. You start feeling like another "burden" on their list of things to do, but then you feel guilt yourself when someone calls you at 11pm and you are too tired to talk and you wonder if you are doing enough for your friends with your own difficulties serving as barriers. You ask yourself why are all my friends save for one, hundreds and thousands of miles away or met on the internet to begin with? Some seem to be able to do the social thing with little effort and feelings of spontaneity , I am not one of them.  You live dreaming about a world where people are connected to each other and there. You have strange dreams where you are back at a church where you felt like they were your family before economics broke it all apart.  You don't want to appear needy so you learn to spread yourself thin and keep your needs to yourself. You delve into hobbies and writing and other causes, but then you pop your head up and think "where is everyone"? You picture yourself as a bag lady alone in the street.

One cannot replace a family if one does not have one. See the picture above, there is a reason that meme on Facebook exists. How many are facing what I am? Mine only lets people in the door who have nice suburban houses and money to travel thouands of miles.  I became a throw-away person years ago, and my protests, attempts to reclaim relationships, and more failed.  I haven't seen nieces and nephews or my siblings in three years. I never could have children. No one visits me. Yeah it hurts. What can I do about it? I reached out and offered trial balloons which were only popped. I don't have the money to get to them. I wonder how many people are facing this. I can't be the only one. All those values being discarded, well there is real human costs to all that. The families breaking apart, that's not just theory to some of us, it's reality. Who convinced people that other things were so much more important? I know there's got to be others in my boat out there. You want to stay vibrant, not be a downer. Not being one of those lonely women in the corner everyone feels sorry for, but how do you suppress so many emotions successfully?

Think the wrong thoughts in America, and you are hated.  What would you think if a friend of 30 years duration turned to you and told you to keep your mouth shut about something you really believed in? This happened to me this week. Do you keep your principles or do you lose someone else? What if your principles and beliefs are not popular ones and being true to yourself means that you may be alone?  My loyalties go to God first and I am not one to sell out, but then that can be hard as well. Anyone, I mean anyone who questions the system today, there are different ways they make people pay. Anything that is non-mainstream basically where the talking heads do not give their approval is enough for you to be made into a non-person. Sometimes non-personhood can happen via many other factors. We have a society now where some are included and many are not.
Whose defending the underdog anymore? I try to.

I redid the taxes, and only will be able to take 400 dollars a $5,000 tax debt for 4-5 hours of work on complicated tax forms. Thanks to my commenter who was so helpful. I finally figured out what I was doing! There is no book to really explain all this. One or two unclaimed EIC deductions, that's it. My husband makes about the same or less then I do on disability, so you do the math on what a crushing debt this is. Add in millions with insane debts from young people with student loans that way outdistance their income or ability to pay. This is psychic damage beyond belief. Does anyone sit back and think, this is crazy! There are many silently feeling those emotions of desperation. God has made sure we have kept the food and roof over our head, but years of this does grind people down. I wonder how it will ever be paid off as they dump more penalties on our head. I feel sorry for young people today, handed false promises and then not prepared for the real life that awaits.

Life in America today seems to be one punishment after another. No school principal or crazed abusive Dad could match the butt whippings that await anyone who gets a bit short of cash in America. Some may say "Oh you have the best life, in the world, but too many goodbyes add up and the expectations mean many simply do not measure up!" What if you have values your society doesn't match? Where you feel like everything important to you is devalued. What is a person's choices then?

I think there is something to my husband and I joking about moving to Finland, or another country to try and get a better life. Maybe we know inside that things are growing worse here. It's not just the growing police state and pseudo-martial law and the constant violence which I saw way too much of in that huge metro city years ago that disturbs one's peace, but add in the crushing debt, the jobs or people that never stick around, the endless bills.

Then add in a society where it says FUN is bad, and life is supposed to be spent adhering to an endless list of check points, accomplishments, goals and BUCKET lists. "Change the world"? Some of us are too tired. LOL Ugh I hate bucket lists, just another "to do list" of show-offs to impress others in my opinion. All socially mandated things like risking one's life on a zipline or spending your children's inheritance while they struggle to pay the light bill to go on a cruise. Just more brainwashing for the masses to never to look up. Fun is bad. Responsibility is everything, Relationships are last priority. So wonder life here is on a downward pull. Some of us still believe in fun, I'm one of them. If I never had fun I wouldn't have made it this long, but then you know how people I run into who don't believe in fun? It's a long list. Think about what has been done to so many people via the endless demands--even the fat thing where everyone must be a perfect weight etc.

I am in a self help group where I see the fellow depressed on a regular basis, and one time I said to them..."Maybe it's not us, maybe it's this society we live in! This place is messed up!" I hope I am some help to them at least! Maybe some think I am crazy when I talk like this. Maybe I will do a presentation on having fun. Yes that is my next idea for one.

Hey I know life is not perfect, but I am old enough to know a lot of things have changed and the way they are changing is very disturbing. At least one sliver lining in the cloud exists for me regarding this comment from this article I am posting about.

-When you were a kid you liked to draw, and read, and run, and laugh, and play, and imagine a magical world. You’re never going to do any of that again.

 The fact is I can still read, draw and think. I got to do it again! That is a blessing I suppose that lies within being tossed outside the box, and lifting your head from the grindstone, you can look around and wonder what is it all for? You can see it from the outside. You realize how much of it is a lie. You realize how people are paying the price in a society where mammon rules. You think to yourself even with a body that is representative of a culture gone amuk, one of the so called fat and stressed out Americans about what could be, and what you want out of life and what to do with it. You think can I get out? Can I find another way of life? Can I find a life that is pleasing to God and myself? Where I can live out my values instead of just being crushed by debt, feeling rejected and wondering where it is all going?


Are there other possibilities?

Anyhow after I am done writing here today--I have acouple articles to do, I am going to smell some flowers, go to the nature center by the end of the week, go find some scenery, hang out with husband and ignore the rat race.

I was glad this article said, that many people do want to drop out. I'm partially dropped out involuntarily via disability, but I am glad that I am not alone in that.

See: Dropping Out, Modern Life and Me

Dropping out, Modern Life and Me

I want to drop out of modern American life.

How one can do this with a CPAP machine and tethered to a vast array of prescription drugs? Guess it's unlikely to happen but it's something I think about. I'm just barely staying out of the nursing home now.

I realize that modern American life, with it's stress, bad food, toxic environment, lack of social connections, and cultural slop has poisoned my body and nearly poisoned my mind. My body with its cracked up endocrine system, destroyed lungs was an over-taxed canary in the gold mine. Add to that being the only emotional "artist" personality in a family full of stoic personalities who I feel farther and farther away from each year and endless moving via desperation and the stage was set for misery.

God keeps me going, but lately I am asking Him, what do I do with my life? I feel like I am all chained up and I want to be free. Being fat in itself is enough of a prison. The size acceptance types will tell you to love your prison just like Orwell was told to love Big Brother. Is anyone else thinking the way, I am?

How about those of us, who dare to say something is wrong here, the fat is a symptom? That all the jacked up cortisol of the never-ending grind, is making our bodies bloat like crazy?

My body is mal-nutritioned despite my best efforts, it is pumping out hormones like mad all over the place, why has it been so hard to get the help I have needed?

They always argued nurturance vs genetics. What if you know something is missing? What if you are tired of struggling in a society that on one side tells you to deny reality or the other side that blames you with every step you take? How about telling them both to take a jump in the lake?

Where can a big fat disabled woman drop out to?

Yes I fantasize about having been born Amish. I explore Intentional Communities and Co-housing links online. I want a place to belong. I want to be a person, where there are people around who care and who I can care about IN PERSON,  and actual community with neighbors that speak to one another and everything isn't about the career and success. Perhaps all of this is from being separated from too many people over a lifetime. Perhaps this is realizing the American dream is smoke and mirrors and one's own body reflects what is missing.

I don't want to spend the rest of my life just speaking to people through screens. Blogs serve a purpose, and I plan to continue, but does anyone know what I mean there? Where one's life becomes more virtual then real. I want REAL food, that I do not have to pay a bunch of money for, which is scarily growing more and more inaccessible and less affordable.

If I was 20 again, I would have dropped out. I would have gone elsewhere and looked for a different way of life.  There is some choice when it comes to being happy, but it's obvious I already lost the rat race anyhow. Now what do I do with myself? I am middle aged, I refuse to end up forgotten and alone in some nursing home, fat or not.

Diary of a "Conspiracy Theorist": The Epstein Files and a Society Gone Insane

 

This video has had almost 2 million views. Notice the connections that are outlined, both sides, both parties, and pay close attention to the stuff on Musk, Gates and Thiel. The vlogger wisely points out these are the "elite of the elite" making present day decisions on our lives! He also points out how many of these influential people remained by Epstein's side even after they knew he was a p*do.

It looks like the conspiracy theorists were right again. Our leaders really are that bad. They don't care about you or me. They are out for profit and power and abuse both to harm others. 

One thing I notice reading their emails that have been shown, is bad grammar, lack of deep ideas, connection and humanity. They are boring, shallow and vapid as they trade millions of dollars like candy. 

                                                Yes, that's it indeed

                             "a theoretical chart about who rules the world"

As people here know, I am to many, what some people call a "conspiracy theorist". The term reality theorist applies more. My life has grown weird watching things I used to warn about on a conspiracy and bible prophecy blog come true. Around 2014, I put a comment on my own blog, that they would rally the whole planet against threats like VIRUSES.

I became "new world order" aware in the late 90s. It had to do with reading this book on Waco and reading anti-war literature. I watched some X files too. When I was young I read all sorts of esoteric books ranging from Carl Jung to Theosophy which impacted my world view in piecing things together. When I had my faith troubles, I even backed away for a time questioning conspiracy. However I realized, the system really had something majorly wrong with it. Some of the conspiracies were true. Conspiracy people talked about the elites being Luciferian creeps as far back as the 2000s. They would write essays on Kubrick's Eyes Wide Shut movie and it's deeper meaning. 

The Epstein files have dropped. The list contains endless celebrities, politicians from both parties, and heads of corporations. I hope some have kept up with the news but many heinous crimes have been exposed. I can't write about what has been exposed here. The vlogger above gives general information. I don't want another post taken down. Mainstream news has talked about the Epstein Files now. Just go google it.

Avoid playing the embedded videos at this link, I didn't watch them myself! This link will bring up how pandemics were mentioned in the Epstein files, it wasn't good. Gates is all over this stuff. 

BREAKING: The Epstein Files Illuminate a 20-Year Architecture Behind Pandemics as a Business Model—With Bill Gates at the Center of the Network

All the names in Epstein's black book, you can see the flight manifests on this website too.


One interesting fact about the Epstein Files, is within in them, the creeps discuss pandemic planning. Those of us who did not trust authority or the creeps in charge are far better off. 

Here's one of the picture of the files. I hope to God, the truth is out there now about the Covid shots, but I felt like passing out seeing another friend said she is getting one this week! How'd she miss the latest news?

I'm of the belief the Epstein Files are being used in some way. A distraction? Perhaps to get people riled up for something like an Arab Spring in America? Epstein was most likely an intelligence asset of some sort. Our debauched leaders are just like Genghis Khan; they are the same thing doing sick things because they can get away with it and they have no consciences. These types don't care about women, and children. People are chattel to them and have been for centuries. Some people wrote and warned that the Epstein Files are to get people to tear down the old system to replace it for a false "great awakening" and turn people towards a new system of AI, and other controls. One claimed it would be the way to transfer everything to the WEF or another system of government to control us even worse. Some old time conspiracy theorists, claimed it was an "order out of chaos" approach and others claimed it was a psych-op like this guy below. If one reads enough Doug Valentine books and explores other writings about the world, they will know many of the extremely wealthy have profited from wars, illegal drugs and human trafficking. 

He's right about our institutions being corrupt.  I have my own theories too. Maybe one approach is to desensitize people to the most evil things and rip down people's souls and hearts with endless evil stories. Maybe it is simply so they can get glee at rubbing their unprosecuted crimes in our faces with the message, "We can do anything we want!"  The whole internet seems designed to elicit constant mental outrage and angst. The propaganda, algorithms, and emotional manipulations has gotten tiring.  The famous are annoying, boring and now loathsome. 

Don't look at those files too close, I shut things down after looking at a few articles and pictures to protect myself. They are bad for abuse victims. Others should be cautious too.  Pray for more children to be rescued. Maybe this is a distraction that gets them off the hook for Covid and poisoning millions of people with Covid shots. The news seems to be endless distractions and "Look over there!" mandates. Are they going to do more alien crap now like they did when they claimed there was stuff in the sky like the Atlas Comet, Northern Lights and drones? Gates/Big Pharm and others got their giant money clean out and turned society totalitarian and towards being a police state. See anyone demanding justice over Covid anymore? No one's been arrested, Prince Andrew was, but that's the only one I know of. Maybe a few EU politicians were. 

"Follow the money" is one saying.

Society has taken a path that disgusts me. Nothing was the same after Covid. I don't feel the same about other people given the endless betrayals and slavish devotion to wicked leaders.  I escaped into art which helped me in daily life. I also have my own religious beliefs to make sense of things. Sadly most of the population is brainwashed and believes in this system even after all this being exposed. 

It's hard to know who to trust or what are lies or aren't lies. My general outlook is not to trust any leaders anymore. Why would anyone at this point? But they do. 

American society with the poverty and more has become a dystopia. Are any institutions trustworthy anymore?

I'm figuring out how to escape mentally and otherwise. Even with the conspiracy stuff while I still read some things, I only have so much control over what is done. So it's better to live ones life focusing on what one can control and improve the world in some small way even if it is ruled over by scum. This society has become a poisonous one, filling the mind with negative things and horrors beyond belief. There's little sanity or reason anymore. There's no adults in charge, only debauched sickos. Maybe some local politicians are real and not owned by the WEF, but things have certainly declined.

 Celebrities grossed me out years ago. I open a People magazine and barely know who two-thirds of them are. I haven't had up to date TV in three years, everything I watch is at least 20-30 years old on Pluto. You Tube is the only exception. Some commercials pop up here and there on the internet and more and more I'm glad, it's a good thing I'm too poor to afford up to date brainwashing via the tell-a-vision. Another escape for me has been old books, the older the better but even the 50s-70s will suffice for more sanity and when people still had some moral foundations. I still read independent zines too. Now the zine world can lean liberal but there's still some old school liberals who write about decent environmental real world issues like water sheds and other hobby-related stuff. 

 I suppose for me this became the art world and time with friends though I still wish I could find a church that weren't slavish devotees to the system. I wondered if my old minister at the second IFB is glad he got his war with Iran. 

My husband is NOT into conspiracy theory. He thinks the present system can still be saved. I thought who is going to do the saving? He believes in the progressive wing of the Democratic party. Sure there's a few old school liberals out there, but I consider them rare as Dodo Birds. He told me, "You need to stop watching those doom prophets on YouTube!" He thinks they are a "bad influence". I told him, "Well one reason I watch some of them, is these are the only people who will talk honestly about the economy [well outside that really small town I escaped to sometimes] and talk about what is happening". I also told him, "Well I may curb back on some of that stuff, if society does collapse into an AI even more hellish dystopia, what can I do about it? We need to enjoy what we can of some life."  I still need to ask him what he thinks of this Epstein stuff. I know the Epstein revelations have woken up some friends recently. It's gotten both MAGA folks, and liberals to question the two party system more than ever seen before.

Demoralization has taken over the land, like the powers that be want everyone depressed, sad and feeling like all is lost. I felt frustration with some of the vloggers I was watching, "How come you lot never come up with solutions?" I wish I was in better health to exact some change. Even for all of us being poor as dirt, how come no one is setting up soup kitchens, or groups to share resources? I looked up mutual aid societies, I supposed those are happening here and there, but I'm surprised there's not more. How come no one is dropping out yet or forming parallel societies? Maybe they are and I just don't know about it. Will any of the "no kings" people protest the Epstein crap, or will it still be brainwashed signs where they can't admit Clinton, Democrats and liberal celebrities were a part of that system as well?

My articles on my conspiracy past are all over this blog

 One reason, I am not in a new evangelical church, is I can't see me going for Mrs. Kirk speeches, and lectures by Dave Ramsey. One online friend who is not a Christian, says the elite manipulate using religious things, that is not beyond the realm of possibility in my book. Her theory is that they use "Satanic panic" to steer society and create outrage and horror for control. Evil and Satan are real, but I see this as a possibility. Even I was rolling my eyes at a certain point at some of the "entertainment" crap, thinking when's the devil going to jump the shark, seeing one disgusting display by Sam Smith. Satan's workers abound, but I thought words like.... "cheesy".

                                             Isn't there a point this stuff gets obvious and boring?

Hmm had the thought now, in this sick society: "They are eating the cats and dogs" has now via Epstein become "they are eating the people?" [yes seriously that discussion is in there, but don't dig too deep for your own sake] They've proven the crimes against children and women by Epstein and pals, but I don't know if some of the other stuff is true or not.

There's probably a reason I got shadow banned from X, posting memes like this one:

Is there anyone like me out there that thinks "You are all full of crap" and remember Trump did a few things I agreed with like the USA leaving the WHO. Trump also last night talked about the economy booming. Gaslight city still. 

The liberal world would betray as much as the "conservative" world would. 

Anyone getting a clue yet that a society managed by the debauched isn't going to head in a positive direction? Some say well world leaders have always been evil. Maybe so, but they didn't have the level of technology we have today. 

Remember this article?

Me and Revelations

Still agree with this one. Never thought the world would go this insane. This verse is applicable when thinking of our world leaders. "Spiritual wickedness in high places" is obviously a given. Whatever these people are guilty of, they aren't like ordinary people. Their power and money has led them to evil places. 

I also thought of this verse when this Epstein stuff came out:

 Truth-tellers and Truth seekers don't have an easy path in this world. Normies don't think things like "There's something wrong with this world!" or ponder the possibilities of this being a prison planet. They still think world leaders are well intended. Maybe suffering opens up one's eyes to the reality of the world or brings people to question it. A lot of people don't trust the conspiracy theory world. There is a dark side to it. They can use conspiracy to lie too, there's conspiracies I consider complete bunk like the Mandela Effect meant to make people distrust their own memories and others that just bring fear. That said, conspiracies where people plan evil things are real. We have a thin sliver of people who have a huge amount of power and money, they are not good people. I don't know exactly that everything being exposed about the Epstein Files is true, especially the more extreme stuff, but there's been enough proven in courts, to know women and children have been abused. That means psychopaths are running this place. 

I will never understand why people trusted this jerk:

People don't even know the WEF exists and how all the results of life lately seem to be what they want.

Carlin summed things up well

and they called all the people crazy who said, that our leaders are evil........and may be up to no good....

GATES_COMPENDIUM_CHRONOLOGICAL_NUCLEAR.pdf - Google Drive

Epstein's investments with Thiel

I don't have many answers on this stuff. I will still write about world events, but in real life I plan to disengage from the system as much as possible, art is something I have focused on as of late. If someone is in the Epstein files, I refuse to watch their movies, that would include Woody Allen and others. I shut off my TV when I see one of these people on the screen, and no longer read or watch the words of politicians and others that were involved. Bill Clinton disgusts me as much as any politicians on the right. I don't want my emotions manipulated. It's kind of like "no contact". Why be "in contact" with psychopaths? Famous ones or not? They have nothing to say to me because they are "people of the lie".  One reason society has gone insane, is they no longer believe that good and evil exist, they have no discernment and have become fodder for psychopaths. 

Pandemic? Endemic? The Insanity Continues

 

Hey remember when 20 and 30 somethings didn't suddenly drop dead except extremely rare cases of Aneurysms? I guess when the bodies pile up like cordwood, they can shout climate change! 

I guess Covid is "endemic" now. Is this to be my forever isolated like this? I fantasize about filing a court case over the ruination of my life. I'll go file against the guy who made Covid infectible to humans. Why isn't this guy in jail yet? If we had anyone in this country who cared about it's well-being, that gain of function guy and others like him would be in jail. I don't have money, time or energy. The system is so corrupt now, the very fact that this much has gone wrong means I would most likely wasting my time. 

Why did the elite soil their own nest? Maybe they are so stupid and evil they don't care. However I'm leaning heavier towards the "real" side and that we are screwed.  I still hope that all of this isn't a con and said to husband if I found out I hid out like this over a lie, I'm going to be angry. However recently, I asked a naturopath I know what she saw with people who had Covid, and she said it was real and this is someone who doesn't trust the vaxxes like me. People really did have heart problems, breathing issues and more.  I also have talked to a few who got "long Covid" before vaxx time. Covid still could be environmental or something else, but people are getting sick from something whether it's from gain of function dirty dealings or something else. This is a battle of good and evil, whatever your religious or non-religious persuasions are. 

The other day I saw this friend, who is a Covid believer to the max, he's had all five boosters. I've warned him a little bit, he's one of the few I was open to. He thinks Fauci and Gates are good guys. I don't know why. He told me, "You are going to be isolated forever now". I said, "The crap doesn't work so what's it matter and I'd be dead within the week". I then told him about my friends getting sick from the vaxx, but he wouldn't hear of it. He's had Covid already and his wife. I thought well maybe he got a false positive PCR but he said this one guy had Covid who he caught it from and that guy ended up in the hospital so maybe not. The other guy was vaxxed up too, so looks like the same luck of the draw on where the virus takes you, applied before. 

He's a nice guy and and I like him a lot outside of our Covid disagreements but I got kind of depressed being told, "You are going to be isolated forever." I also get scared when he takes a new booster. One weird moment was when he asked me, "Why are you going Qanon?". I said, "I'm not Qanon, come on, you know I was out there with protest signs against Trump!" I wish I had time to send him scientific studies and other articles, and the me of yesterday may have done this but I learned finally, most neurotypicals don't like barrages of information. 

It is now very rare to be someone who has never had Covid. Everyone I know has had it. I wonder if OCD helped me. Like I wouldn't let either of us even take the trash out without a mask on, or walk outside without one, if people were in the vicinity. I also put us in KN95 during the era of blue masks, by April and May of 2020. We wear N95 now. However I think, well times going to run out. I'll slip up or my hand will touch something someone just coughed on and I'll itch my nose or something.

I also had weird "conspiracy" wondering thoughts thinking maybe whatever people are being exposed to hasn't happened to me. I'm not outside that much so maybe if it's being dispersed in the environment, maybe I'm protected. I also live in a building made out of thick cinderblock, where smart phones often fail in here, it's one reason we kept a landline. Maybe the 5G isn't bombarding me. Hey don't think I am crazy having some of these thoughts, at this point who knows what is going on. Maybe my body is too strange to get Covid with too small red blood cells or I cook mostly non-processed/non-GMO food. It's hard to know. Maybe it's just the hiding out and going to grocery stores with the fewest people in them and having NO SOCIAL life outside of seeing 1-2 people masked up outside, or in a big library room. Maybe the multiple colds in 2016-2017 where I was crying from getting colds so much back then, gave me immunity. I don't know. I still get scared I'll "get it" and with my PTSD history, this does not help mental health. 

But back to being disabled and coping with this.....                        

What kind of society puts a disabled person in this position? Damned if you do, damned if you don't. No one cares. I don't expect them to anymore. We are in the times of Stalin and Mao and things are just getting rolling. There's no crying at the indoctrination camp. By the way there's worrisome laws being passed where they are destroying freedom of speech. I'm not sure how long I will even be able to talk about things anymore even here. They took down that "Died Suddenly" board on Facebook, with 300,000 people talking about all the people they knew who died or got serious disabilities from the vaxxes. It got put back up but the censorship never ends. There's a hole here that bugs me, why isn't anyone demanding something that isn't so dangerous or actually works. It needles at my brain. Why isn't anyone calling them out saying, "these vaxxes suck, you can do better". Also here the neglect of actual treatment remains that I have complained about before.

 If some of you read the posts from the nurses and other medical people posting about what they have seen on that "Died Suddenly" board, you would flip out. There's going to be a lot more disabled people. The sheer numbers of vaxx injured or long Covid cases [prevaxx times so I know the vaxx didn't do it to these folks] or the less than minor issue that Covid may do bad things long term even to ones who got mild cases. I never felt more autistic then when I told a group of people maybe it's a bad idea to keep getting Covid over and over vaxxed or not. 

 In a dying, failing society, vulnerable people aren't cared about. They always show healthy people outrunning the Nazis or Stasis on our movies, but in reality there were old, elderly and disabled people having to deal with the dirty deeds of all their psychopathic leaders. 

 Just go stay in your apartment forever except your ventures out in stores wearing a N95. Say goodbye to a social life, to going to church to any future happiness. And then on top of it all, I am supposed to be happy about all this. I've noticed no one else seems pissed off like me, except a few awake people. They all think these miserable psychopath excuses of leaders "care". Well I do not. they failed either on purpose or via incompetency and stupidity. 

                                       from "The Simpsons" Yeah this is my life. If I was not married, I would have gone insane by now. And now they are telling me this is forever....Who can I sue?

I see the "normals" meeting friends and having social lives and yes I feel like my life was ruined. It hurts. I already had major social deficients going with the autism and going deaf and now this. I see these two good friends from time to time, and talk to people on Zooms but I think to psychologically survive now, I'm just going to have embrace hermithood at home, well a hermitage of two. I lost friends from all this or have to walk on eggshells with so many, its lonely. I think about all the stuff I miss out on for three years. I am still "stuck". There's no clear answers. Just go back to life, and accept the consequences and hope it's a hoax or that I'm immune or zinc and vit C will keep it away or live like this, it all sucks. Losing these valuable years of life to this has me so pissed off I can't even describe it. It's like my family won. 

Why aren't people pissed? I've asked this before. Stockholm Syndrome? There's some protesters in Europe but in America while they took to the streets over other things, no one cares about our lives being ruined or young people being killed by a vaxx that doesn't work, or medical freedom. I saw this ad for a regional pro-choice abortion law, they kept talking about freedoms for doctor and patients, and I thought hmm, funny they don't apply that to the Covid vaxxes. I'm so checked out of regular politics lately, it means so little to me, I feel like both sides are insane.

I saw one social media friend post that the vaxx messed up her periods, they were cycling constantly where she was having a period every other week with heavy bleeding and other bad symptoms, she was getting really sick, but sadly she went to go line up for another booster that made her even sicker. I thought, "That's insane!" However in this case, I went to go talk to her.  I sent her a Naomi Wolf link, but she had Covid before vaxx time and said it was really bad and caused breathing problems. It was obvious she felt like she was in a rock and hard place. Yeah that's what they've done with this. 

Then this other Facebook friend who is vaxxed to the maxx told me she is getting the "flu" every month, the Covid tests are negative but she keeps getting sick over and over. I didn't have the heart to say anything. She knows some of my opinions. I can't hound people to death. 

Supposedly we are supposed to all live normal and get Covid over and over. People think I'm weird now because I am still hiding out. China is insisting on zero Covid and I think they know something about the virus and it's long term effects. It makes no sense to me, this giving up, and just free-spreading it. This is the kind of thing that still confuses and I have cognitive dissonance watching people live normal lives while I've made decisions like I have. I don't know what to think but then I had a friend whose daughter had Covid and ended up on life support with residual lung problems and other factors, she's okay now but obviously Covid or something else did something bad to her lungs. 

Another thing I keep thinking is why is it so numerous. MRSA is out there, anyone can catch MRSA, but I didn't shut down my life over MRSA, I lived it but with this Covid crap it seems everywhere constantly. There's the lulls and we seem to go into one, but then the roller coaster ride begins anew. I don't get why this disease won't die out or keeps going and I do think if a monster in a lab created a real virus [bioengineered weapon] where a human being can never develop immunity, then we are looking at the collapse of society. This monster will be remembered forever as worse than Hitler, and Mengele.

I'm creeped out on how they have so quickly normalized ill health, getting "sick" from the failed vaxxes, and just over all decay and destruction of society. They keep talking about people "quiet quitting" jobs but I think people in general have lost motivation and hope. Why work hard if there's nothing to work for and the prices just keep skyrocketing anyway? Why plan for the future when there doesn't seem to be one anyway? One thing I am noticing is even formerly happy people are depressed and melancholic and this feels weird for a life long melancholic. Many are edgy and easily angered. It's better to maybe be a bit antisocial now in some ways. I can escape into my spiritual ponderings in trying to figure out how I ended up in a life and world like this one, but there's times I've said to my husband, "Did we die and not know it and end up in hell?" Then I think quit being silly you got food and power still. You've lived far worse, but it does feel like we are in some kind of altered reality, like living a real life sci fi or dystopian movie. 

People are checking out. If I had any degree of health, I'd head for the hills as I said and live the most remote rural life I could find.  Teens aren't going to want part time jobs if it means you bring home illness to the family. Some who may have wanted to supplement incomes, don't want to take the risk. I'm under a bit of strain because my husband's temporary job could end this December, and we don't know if there is an extension. We hope he can get more remote work. He still has his transcription work. If he can't then we have to enter the Covid gauntlet via exposure at a job. All the bills have skyrocketed.  How long will someone like me last if it's real. The working class has already been bombarded.

The happier ones are the "I don't care" types who remain ignorant of all the troubles. The extroverts with friends at the bar, who for some reason have no worries. They believe the tales that Covid is just like a cold, and you can easily fight it off and it won't do anything long term. All I know is I have read multiple articles that every bout cuts down the immune system. Who knows whats going on. So you've had a cold 10 times? What about Covid 10 times? What about the 15th booster? There's studies saying that negatively affects your immune system too. 

The acceptance of all the death too from the vaxxes is psychotic. 16 year olds dropping dead on ball fields and no one gives a damn! Line up and do your part for the state. Delusional insanity ignoring endless side effects. In years past, far less got products removed from the market. 

Also I see the cracks forming everywhere. You know the ones you can't talk about with the brainwashed normies? We have these "Dollar" stores of various names here, and the other day I went into one and it looked like a bomb hit it. There was crap in every aisle so it made it very hard to get around in a walker. I knocked over this boxes of brooms, and had husband pick it up since it was too heavy for me. I asked the manager, "What's going on?" She claimed she couldn't get help but that store is not that busy. I go there all the time, and there's never more than 5 customers in the place at a time. There were two employees at the front, and her that day, so why not assign someone to aisle clean up? I had the ominous thought, that their brains were disorganized, and the store had that look, like people couldn't figure out how to put things on shelves and organize anymore either via confusion or breaking down mental processes. So I felt weird. I'm seeing this happen in a few stores around here. 

I took this picture, in case I broke anything knocking these brooms over, and they got upset but every aisle was like this, some were even more crowded with stuff. It didn't make sense, why leave small boxes out in the way for people to trip over? Person blurred out was another customer.

There's more mentally ill people in the streets too, people standing and staring. Maybe I look crazy too, who knows but I am talking obvious problems. There was this one guy shouting and screaming running across one street while I waited for my husband to get something from a pharmacy for me. I crouched down in the car not wanting to be noticed. 

I thought about those scientists warning about Covid affecting the brain or the Covid vaxxes affecting people's thinking processes and got worried. Maybe they were too depressed to put the store in order, but this is in too many places. I've been noticing other major errors too, like having to reorder my lung medicine twice--getting worried because I ordered it Monday and it still hasn't shown up, banking errors, other slips.  My visit at home doctor's office wanted me to enroll in some "managed care program", I looked it up and it looked like a way to deny me medical care so I refused. Some mega-conglomerate bought them now too just like my pharmacy. The kleptocracy is on the roll. 

I work on art projects/the zine--getting close to the end, and watch a lot of TV and spend time with husband and try to ignore the collapsing society around me. Okay here's a new set of Covid links for you.

Look at how much money Fauci's made. [I got some others to look up on this website]

Hearing disorder following COVID-19 vaccination: A pharmacovigilance analysis using the Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System - PubMed (nih.gov)

COVID-19 Vaccination and Neurological Manifestations: A Review of Case Reports and Case Series - PubMed (nih.gov)

Proof That the Pandemic Was Planned & With Purpose | Madison Area Lyme Support Group

What's this crap about?

https://childrenshealthdefense.org/defender/cdc-vsafe-data-americans-medical-care-covid-vaccination-et/

https://www.icandecide.org/v-safe/

https://www.mdpi.com/2076-393X/10/10/1651

https://sensereceptornews.com/?p=9385

https://pauloosterhuis.substack.com/p/are-witnessing-now-suggests-vaccine?r=koesb&s=w&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

https://alexberenson.substack.com/p/urgent-the-pandemics-wrongest-man/comments?s=r

https://www.reddit.com/r/conspiracy/comments/ngyrfn/why_hasnt_this_guy_ralph_baric_funded_and/

https://www.reddit.com/r/conspiracy/comments/oye143/ralph_baric_chilling_in_wuhan_with_bat_lady_and_a/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2973827/

https://old.reddit.com/r/vaccinelonghaulers/  Endless horror stories, all life altering destroying disabilities from the shots. Remember every booster round is a spin of the roulette wheel. 

https://rumble.com/v13kefy-must-see-the-plan-who-plans-for-10-years-of-pandemics-from-2020-to-2030.html

https://www.organicconsumers.org/blog/biolabs-your-backyard

https://capitolsheila.substack.com/p/in-jan-2019-us-funded-coronavirus?utm_source=%2Fprofile%2F39148584-capitolsheila&utm_medium=reader2

Fat People Hating Medical Workers on Reddit

 

                                                      "I had a 600lber just last week!"

Check out this thread, it's scary. The reddit nursing board has problems, they ban anyone who questions the vaxxes or what is happening now but overall, you can see it's open war on fat people. Even "leftists" who are against racism, homophobia, etc have no moral qualms in going after the fat with no holds barred.

https://old.reddit.com/r/nursing/comments/yac3bw/an_open_rant_to_a_supermorbid_obese_patient/

"Supermorbid obesity is absolutely a mental illness. To consume enough calories to be 400+ lbs is an eating disorder. I don’t discount that.

But how is it fair to burden the medical team with your care? 4+ nurses lifting your body, risking injury to themselves. A body you created with no consideration for the others who care for you.

You can’t walk so 4+ nurses have to pull you over and put a bedpan under you. Your shits are massive and frequent because you eat so much.

You can’t wipe yourself, and your gluteals are so huge they have to be spread open to clean your anus. The size of your gluteals means the shit smears and gets trapped in the cheeks as it leaves your body. More for your nurse to wipe.

You haven’t been able to bathe properly in a long time, so you smell. The fungal rashes under your many folds smell putrid. More for your nurse to clean.

We teach you about diet and exercise, but when the dietary person comes you order 3 peoples worth of food. Your husband brings you bags of candy and snacks. You yelled at him because he brought Mike and Ike’s when you clearly asked for Now and Laters.

How is it fair to our already understaffed unit that we need to accommodate your self-created burden?

On top of it, you’re rude to staff. Extremely demanding and shout because it hurts you to be rolled to your side, demanding we “HURRY UP”

I would never tell you to your face, but nurses let out a sigh when they see their name next to your room. All the men who work on the floor know they’re going to be called every time you need to shit.

I hope you get the help you need. The help we need.

Edit; thank you to whomever reported this post as a mental health emergency, you could’ve just downvoted :)

Edit 2: wow top 25 on r/popular, thats neat. Sorry it's marked as "nsfw" which means people browsing dont get to look at it without a reddit account which is ridiculous (shoutout to r/watchredditdie).

Final edit: a special thank you to the people who can’t comment here so they are finding other comments I made and replying there to call me a fatphobe and a piece of shit. I literally don’t care about your opinion, 12,700 upvotes, 18+ awards and frontpage status is enough to prove that the overwhelming majority of reddit is in agreement with the content of my post. Perhaps seeing so many reddit clinicians posting in agreement is a shock to your ego? Maybe you were expecting the typically-tolerant reddit user base to tear me apart and are now appealed to find out the truth.

If you are overweight I will absolutely give you the same level of care I give to every patient, and I will greet you with a smile and pretend I don’t care that you smell awful and need me to exert 400% of my strength to move you. But inside I will have the opinion that thousands of others have posted here."

Then read this post which was a response.

"[–]FaeryCourt 1 point 2 days ago 

Asa paramedic -who has had to call firefighters and off duty police officers -in order to simply be able to lift a morbidly obese patient(s) from bed to stretcher; who has listened to Children worry and cry that they had to call 911 on their parent because they couldn't lift 400+lbs by themselves and knew they would be punished and blamed for doing so; who has had injuries from these patients (who blame everyone but themselves), who has seen coworkers go through YEARS of physical therapy and surgical interventions from injuries sustained, who has seen-repeatedley-these patients not give one fuck about who they injure, emotionally destroy and blame for their CHOICES, I agree, wholeheartedly with this fine nurse, who finally said what WE ALL ARE THINKING. Thank you, RN. Your words mean much. And, for the family, children and spouses of these patients, my heart breaks for you.

Notice they all write it's a choice. Like everyone is supposed to have a body that works right.  You won't see these people complaining about other people who end up at the hospital via drinking or high extreme sports or drugs. I'm tired of being told it's all a choice. Who would CHOOSE to live in the hell of extreme obesity?

Of course none of them ask why is the care for the obese so lacking? Why don't they have better methods for transfers? Some of the more compassionate ones, talk about the abuse and high ACE scores many superfat people went through. One mentioned Lipedema and women with legs as wide as their waist.

This applies to me of course. I don't think all of it is food addiction though, some are of course but some of us probably ended up with hypothyalmic and metabolic damage as a result. You know there's a problem when someone has so many autoimmune diseases they lost count, and have some people never heard of before. Very few question what drives the food addicted ones to eat or what is happening in the brain or what kind of depression or mental problems could be fueling all this. But what about ones who aren't food addicted, who may have undiagnosed Cushings, severe Lipedema, and other endocrine problems who aren't getting help? What about those with other disorders?  People like this aren't going to help them get answers.

Sadly superfat people are being dehumanized and look, at a nursing board, where it becomes a popular post. The open "othering" of a people for a physical characteristic is accepted. Hatred of fat people was obviously growing as we saw with Covid and they told us fat people were more likely to die of it. Maybe that's true but then keep in mind all the "triage" stuff they were pushing in 2020.

One thing they put a barrier in front of people at every step. I've made it clear I want in-patient treatment now for obesity even to get 100 off. Medicare would never pay for it. Because of Covid, I'm no longer pushing the point.  I remain pissed off beyond belief, that I can't go safely back to my old Planet Fitness in the eternal pandemic without end.  I need to. These are barriers that are never addressed? Why didn't these people get help before their obesity become so serious? I remember asking for help at 300lbs before I hit 700lbs.

Did any of these 500-800lb people already go to their doctors about their weight loss failures or lack the money to make some of the things they needed to happen? How many like me went crying about their extreme weights already?

Where they turned away as their problems got worse and worse? Remember I was 700lbs at one point and almost did die. I thankfully did not lose mobility but I was close. Today my mobility is in bad trouble but some outside factors are affecting this. I am dealing with some muscle weakness that could be due to one of my autoimmune disorders and some joint problems. I can't take Planequil for my UCTD because I fear eye problems being deaf, so here I am in pain a lot. The other day I asked my rheumatologist for other remedies for pain and fatigue and was just turned down. I told the doctor point blank, "I can barely function now due to the severity of the deafness I can't take that risk on." I don't think he was happy with me but why were there no other options? At least I am still considered "Stable" and I didn't go into full lupus but the pain and other problems are there. Why is it okay to make me at the risk of being even more helpless with no life quality left especially being an artist?

I could always walk when I was in the hospital, and even walked myself into the shower once while hooked to an IV because nurses wouldn't clean me up or give me tools to clean myself up. I told them due to my skin problems I need a shower daily and was ignored. So I took care of business. I knew if I didn't keep clean that I would die of the infection I had.  Probably some of you have figured out I am not a passive personality, I can't afford to be. 

I haven't been in the hospital overnight since 2001. The house call doctors kept me out, there's been a few ER visits for injuries, parotitis and problem I got with my better ear.  I wrote a PM to this person, telling them "I hope I never get you as a nurse and this is why I took 30 years to get diagnosed with stage 4 Lipedema". and "Stop abusing fat people".

Hospitals scare the hell out of me, I have to be dying or have serious problems like a broken bone to go to one. The line now where I would even go to one? I have to be nearly dead or acutely dying. Even then I may think about staying home just like I did with multitudes of kidney stones, drinking watered down organic cider vinegar in a bid to stay alive. Most of us superfat people already know hospitals are not friendly kind places for us. Some medical professionals are kind and nice to us but we have been around to know the score and how we are "seen"

Sad to say I figured out this person is probably a moderator over on My Big Fat Fabulous Life, [different identities online] or if not an avid supporter of this fat hating nurse, and they started writing more insults to me on that reddit message board about supersized patients being so hard to take care of.  And I got banned from that board even though I had posts people liked reading and I got a lot of "reddit karma" for.  This person who claims to be "happy" sure seems to spend a lot of time complaining about fat people. I criticized Whitney too but wanted her to change her show to HELP fat people but sadly Whitney was just the usual corporate "make fat people look bad" product. They tried banning me so I wrote a complaint about all these posts to reddit, and asked them if they are trying to revive the same attitudes of the Fat Hate Reddit board that was later taken down.

It was scary to see hundreds of medical professionals all bitching about super-fat people on that thread. There was only around 5-6 compassionate ones among the 1,000 posts decrying the horrors of caring for severely overweight people. 

As I have written on here before, no one crosses the 400lb mark without something being even physiologically wrong with them. Physically normal people would not even have driving hunger or desire for that much food. The 800lb mark and above, that's pretty much the case. BTW they don't care if your weight is from fluids, fat or the other complicated myriad of reasons why someone would have gotten that fat in the first place. Too many of these lauded professionals aren't studying the latest obesity research that talks about problems with metabolism or hyperphagia or saitety disorders. They don't care, they consider it YOUR FAULT and that you did nothing with yourself but pig out on everything and it supposedly was all by choice. One reason I always wanted hospitalized for weight loss was to have the "eating seen" but maybe I'd be called a liar and told I was "sneaking food in" even if I was not. 

Lately I have been thinking about how I have been treated my whole life for being fat and how bad it is. I worked around things the best way I could trying to speak out and do art and be involved in community stuff but you always KNOW. "You are not like the others" and at supersized weights it's even worse.  Even if you cut all the abusers out of your life, and manage to get enough presence to stop all overt abuse--it's been years since someone insulted me in the street--it doesn't stop the subtle stuff or the endless strain of rejection that remains "hidden".  Some liberals may refer to those as "micro-aggressions". After my no contact I changed. Oh I told this nurse, if I ever got her as a nurse, I'd call the ombudsman and then my lawyer.

I wouldn't yell at anyone especially while overnight in a hospital even if they were being horrible to me. I'd be figuring out how to work my way out of the problem. I don't like that I have to lay there with an unlocked door which always destroys sleep for me. Sleep deprivation is a very serious problem for me in the hospital. I begged a doctor to go home more then once so I could stay alive but of course past serious infections needed IV antibiotics. Some of the people who are shouting and freaking out, have been neglected or having pain or problems.

 One of my now deceased fat friends said she was abandoned to lay on gurney in the corner for 16 hours. In her case, she couldn't walk out. This was pre-Covid days. Many of us chronically ill know what hospitals can be like.  I would be the type to sneak out if they were actively hurting me even if I had to pay a bystander with 20 bucks to give me a wheelchair to roll out in if I was unable to walk and then go call a lawyer. Fortunately I haven't had any abuses that severe.   

Years ago when a good doctor showed up at 3am to save my life and get a working IV, I almost had made the decision to go home.  This wasn't abuse, just more likely collapsed veins from illness in that case. Most hospitals have treated me okay, at most I got benign neglect when I had to talk a janitor lady into helping me with a few problems. I would say the most dangerous times for the superfat is if you a] can't walk or b] are unconscious. 

Looks like I wasn't being too paranoid with those thoughts given the posts above......

Years ago I got a thick skin. Hate my blog? I don't care. Hate me for being fat? Get in line with the other jerks. It's nothing new. I know I'm a rare one who speaks out and they hate that even more. See any other fat people calling this crap out? I will because I feel like it. To me, this reddit post and it's acceptance points to some real rot in society that is growing worse. The severe obesity too? People are getting sick, physically and emotionally and superfat people are probably canaries in the coal mine. Sure some are BED food addicts but even there, the limited attitudes and stupidity shown except by the very few compassionate ones was nauseating.

By the way this is just the kind of society, where people even young ones can start dropping like flies of myocarditis and blood clots, and no one cares....

"FaeryCourt and I got in an argument. They were even angry at me for questioning the "elite" which was kind of laughable to me. There's a reason psychopathic nurses has become a trope in horror movies. Yes why wouldn't they believe in this sick system being a product of it? But sadly this body I deal with is a product of the system, with ill health, destroyed metabolism, endocrine system, lymph system. I just read the book, "The Body Keeps The Score" and I KNOW this was NOT my Choice ever. This book details how trauma and medical/autoimmune/mental problems interact. I had myself in therapy by age 18--self chosen. I always tried to get help and to stay alive and "be responsible" so I am done with taking people's crap. 

It's horrible for these immobile fat people who are dependent on medical professionals who despise them. Instead of anyone asking why aren't there better lifting machines or hoyers or other procedures or even why no one is doing anything that actually WORKS for the severe growing obesity problem in the US. Decent food is hard to find or whatever environmental problems are leading to this including the endless trauma, they blame the patients instead. "It's their fault, my back went out!" There's  thousands of drug and alcohol abuse clinics but nothing for the fat beyond weight loss surgery. Ever wonder about that?

I worked with the disabled for a very short term job, I had it around 8 months. I was pushed out of this job from my own failing health unable to do lifts.  Some patients were large we had to move around, I had to move people in beds to change diapers, etc, I had to puree food, do bathroom duties, and feed people with a plastic spoon. The work is NOT easy. I get that part. There is risk of injuries. Most of these places because of corporate greed are understaffed and most of these medical professionals are having to work with too few co-workers to help them with lifts and more. So I have empathy for the ones who did get injuries, it's horrific but don't blame the patients and take it out on them. 

 It's not meant for everyone but this post scares me and all the angry people, and sure some of the patients are probably guilty in their fear and other problems in yelling a bit or taking things out on people they should not, but this post to me was representative of a very serious problem. 

Severe obesity is growing, I used to be RARE where I never saw anyone my size in the 1990s. Now I see more and more people near my size. 500lbs may still be uncommon but I see people near my size at least once a week if I am out and about. [My weight was 511 last week] I saw someone who weighed about 50 pounds more then me just three days ago. 300-400lbs is actually common now. Go in a store, you'll see a few and a 400lber here and there. Obesity has increased. Now let me ask this question, how are any of these people's attitudes going to help the problem? 

Britt McHenry Tells off Tow Truck Company Employee

ESPN employee Brit McHenry tells off a tow truck employee. Language warning with this one. Let me be frank, I don't love all tow companies. The ones in the big city can be crooks and did tow my car twice when it was legally parked. I remember steam coming out of my ears to see my legally parked car "stolen" and then having to track it down after two hours to one of those places. I think those are places anyone is most likely to lose their temper.

 So Britt McHenry was probably angry in trying to track down her car, but it was stupid to take it out on the employee. Her classist, elitist and fat-hating comments bothered me.  I don't agree with people losing jobs over things they do outside of work but since she is in the public eye they chose to suspend her for a week. The elitism and entitlement here is extreme as Britt McHenry, insults the employee for having a "low-class" job. She puts her down for not going to college or dropping out, but who knows our towing company attendant could have a doctorate degree for all we know, given the state of the economy.

"Do you feel good about your job?" she asks her. Some people have to work jobs they hate to eat! Britt reminds me of "mean girls" in high school, always skinny, and assured of their own superiority. Was she hired first for her brain or her looks? She gets the classist skewer out with the rude comment about teeth. Sadly teeth can be a class marker, in that the poor can't afford dental care. Then there is the comment about "trailer-trash" and of course the ever present slam-dunk of weight hatred, "Lose some weight baby girl!"

I don't know if Britt is a narcissist or not, but she sure was acting during that the moment there. America is becoming one hard cold place as people trash others over their level in society and jobs they hold. One thing I hated is how people who did honest labor but had menial jobs started to be trashed.  Britt McHenry later apologized and some asked, "What was the employee saying?"

Living Next Door to the Country Club

I wrote this essay some years ago, in a senior center memoir writing class that allowed disabled people in it.  It was the year my husband's first lay-offs had occurred before we moved here. While the elderly people fondly remembered good times on the farm and grandchildren, there I was, just starting to process my crazy childhood and life. Hopefully my essays didn't shock them. I have added a few corrections here.

I was raised to marry into wealth. My mother had escaped her hardscrabble farm kid's lifestyle and had escaped to a big city by the age of 19. Poverty suffered as a child is easier then as an adult. At least when you are a kid, it's not your fault.

So while I would be an adult of currency exchanges, Save-A-Lots, scrimping every penny and living in fear of ghetto criminals, shopping was a fun hobby to my parents, the overpriced mall a center of delights. I grew up among Ethan Allen furniture, private school education, vacations and in high school lived on what was considered the richest street in town. Thank goodness, I had no idea what would await me as adulthood beckoned.

My parents lived on a near six figure income by the late 1970s and I grew up clueless. I had no idea what a sirloin steak really cost, my mother would fill 2-3 grocery carts full should relatives visit from out of town and think nothing of it. I didn't realize that a 5 course dinner could sent you back forty dollars. I grew up in a house that if the Russians had bombed, there would be food for a year. Today towards the end of every month my fridge is absolutely barren.

                                   this isn't my mother's collection this is a normal sized one.

Money was wasted on strange things. Thousands of dollars on china figurines was spent freely. One day I entered my mother's living room during a warmer December day to see at least three-five thousand glass snowmen of various kinds standing like a snowman army. My eyes bugged out as I calculated how much money she had probably spent on the endless variations of clay, porcelain and fabric Frosties. There had to be at least $30,000 dollars invested in this particular shopping spree. My mother should have bought stock in Hallmark.

For my father there were car parts to be refurbished in the garage, and entire "muscle" car in one side of the garage to be redone, and endless gadgets and tools. He had everything from an air compressor, two or three riding mowers and endless construction and house re-modeling items.

I was no spoiled kid, as I actually got goaded by the other high school kids for living in a 6 bedroom house next door to the only country club in town. While the neighborhood kids went on constant vacations, and got to play golf, we never joined. Everything was about keeping up with the Joneses, model households, "work til you drop, children or not. Today several family member's houses look like untouched museums and the houses you see in magazines. While I would get a decent number of Christmas gifts for good pictures, I didn't dress like a rich kid. I was befriending the kids who lived in the projects and the working class neighborhoods nearer to my school. My mother didn't buy me very many clothes and when you show up in high school wearing the same 2-3 outfits over and over, it establishes your social rank more then your parent's address.

The rich kids of my neighborhood rejected the whole lot of us, my family didn't realize that farmer's daughter and that a man with an New Jersey accent who cussed his head off in a Honeymooner's a la violent Fred Flintstone fashion don't quite fit into some upper class enclaves no matter the pretensions made. If anything after the neighbors called the cops, on my Dad cussing his head off so loudly they covered their children's ears, we were forbidden to play with the rest of the neighborhood teens. They avoided us like the plague. One popular girl fled my house during her first visit, when my father stomped up the stairs screaming about some lost papers and throwing things. She was petrified. At least she could run away, I was stuck!

My family never had heard of women's rights. While I was a good student, having free laborers came first. I still remember 10-14 hour workdays, scrubbing, polishing and dusting the 3,500 square foot house we lived in. Cinderella just wasn't a fairy tale. Before anyone says, "Quit yer whining all kids have to do chores!" This was a labor camp with a mean drill sergeant by your side. Perfectionists out of the gates of hell--Mommy Dearest and Daddy Dearest nightmares that made Joan Crawford's whining about the wire hangers and chopping down the tree in the backyard a slight tiff. No one would ever realize there are 5,000 ways to rake leaves the wrong way or even fathom that a rake had to be held the right way. I would grow up with a lifelong distaste for housework and yard work.

As college rolled around, my father kept threatening to throw us out on our ear by the age of 18. Having a father who won a full-4 year ride to university due to extreme math skills I did not inherit meant as a normal kid, you were simply resented. I worked 30 hours a week, my last two years of high school in restaurants as a salad and prep- cook. I used to hoard money like a fiend. The irony would occur to me years later. At one point in late high school, I had the greatest amount saved in the bank that I would have for the rest of my life which was $5,000. College and payment on my first car soaked it up like a sponge.

Things got only worse, in college, I in youthful idealism chose art education as a major not realizing it would sink me into future poverty. Some people make that one bad decision that turns their life on the dime towards the bad. For some it's getting pregnant as a teen, dropping out of school, doing drugs. This was mine 3.4 grade point average or not. I was good at art and actually a very good art teacher in the few years I got to work in it. The subject of art had served as my escape for survival. It was not only an interest but a vocation, but sadly my declining health blocked me from the good teaching jobs.

My parents hated what I stood for. The money I got for help to get through college was paid for with as pound of flesh attached even as I worked my way through college in the dorm cafeterias. I was called an evil hippie and a prima donna because I wanted a state school education and wanted to be a high school art teacher. One would think I wanted to run away and join the circus or had become a prostitute by the reaction of my father to my choice of a future career. He even tried to get me to join the convent and got angry when I refused, saying they would pay for my college.

No one warned me of how hard it was to make a living. No one told me that young adults could struggle. No one told me or prepared me for the fact that life may brings struggle or turmoil. With parents who could indulge in immediate gratification, what did I know? My mother who had no college even got a $40,000 a year job via my father who gave it to her. No one told me how to write a check, or how to budget or that the wrong step could lead to years of poverty. No one told me that things had drastically changed since the Baby Boomers made their first steps out of college. There were losers and winners and the winners had money.

By age 22, even with a part-time $14.00 an hour art teaching job and then making the decision to go back to school for a paralegal degree, I was considered a wash-up by my family. The summer I graduated from college, my 20 year old sister was marrying the ex mayor of a big city's son. She never would have to worry about living out of milk crates or struggling to pay bills. My parents would tell me, "Why can't you be more like your sister?". She went to community college and met her husband right after high school graduation. She has never lived on her own and went right from her twin bed covered in Garfield sheets with stuffed animals on top to her suburban housewife bliss. I wondered if the marriage was arranged since she never dated in high school, went from zero to 60 and they both treated each other like they were entering a business partnership instead of showing normal love behavior like kissing and hugging one another.

My sister had reached the pinnacle of success in my parents eyes by being engaged at age 19. My college graduation was ignored and neither parent showed up. One of my friends drove me to my college graduation. I would be stuck living at home for a year paying a small amount of rent and saving money for my great escape into my first no contact.

The years then came where as an adult, I would visit my mother's house with the perfect rooms, with one room of new furniture equaling a year's salary for me and my husband. Two doors down from multimillionaires, she added onto the house, and remodeled to her heart's content. After my father died, the insurance pay-offs made her even wealthier and more self satisfied. She has no idea what my day to day life is like. She doesn't know what life without money is like. The glass snowmen stand on patrol every winter with their empty eyes surveying the suburban landscape.

See:  Money, Snobs and Narcissists