Tuesday, April 23, 2013

America The Stressed Out!

America: #1 In Fear, Stress, Anger, Divorce, Obesity, Anti-Depressants, Etc.
 Think about how our culture is now structured for the average adult: STRESS, everywhere you look--commuting in horrible traffic, as you want to scream in frustration--money stress, to pay rent/house note, tuition, utilities, gas, insurances, vacations, cable bill, rising food costs, and on and on and on--stress from family problems, divorce, delinquency, drugs, crime, infidelity, keeping up with the Jones, etc
. People have too high an expectation of what they should have out of life, and get overly stressed over it all. How does all of this manifest itself? A prescription drug culture (Zoloft, Xanax, etc.) that tricks people into thinking a pill will knock back the stress, when these drugs, in my opinion, only make things worse. 
I am hearing more and more that people just want to drop out from it all, as they are reaching a breaking point, and have decided less income and dependency on entitlements will reduce their stress, and is not so humiliating, so giving up working becomes more acceptable, to KEEP ONE’S SANITY. 
I know I am correct, from the feedback I hear every day, and the financial media does not see this like I hear it every day. People don't want to admit that they are too weak to deal with stress, so the financial pundits are not aware of this critical factor because they don't talk to Joe Sixpack.
This is a good article warning about how life is really getting in the USA. The rest of the world by the way is watching and feeling more sorry for us by the day. How do I know? I hang out in places online where I talk to them. The media here tells us how wonderful life is here, and sure technological advances at least for the rich abound,  but then some of us remember the 70s, the 80s, and how things used to be and think, HEY! I know I am not crazy to see the boat sinking!

They know this place is turning into a police state, that freedoms are being taken away and the American lifestyle has become an empty wasteland and frenzied hamsters on the wheel. Even one of the commenters from the third world had this to say.

"I'm from a third world country. Trust me on this guys. We don't have it so bad here. This is absolutely ridiculously crazy what is happening to Americans.
It is a kind of brainwashing by main stream to perpetuate the myth in first world countries that people in third world countries are suffering more than you, so shut up, take pills and get on with the mind control, 'cos there are people in third world countries suffering more than you.
That is absolutely not true. sure, we have our poverty, share of corruption, bad government etc, however, we get by to live to see our family, friends, good meals and be content with what we have. We don't live on the edge. Our daily life certainly does not involve making hard choices for every decision we have to make.
The point mentioned in the article has simply blown away a guy from even a third world country. On average I can categorically say at this point in time. Americans are suffering more than anyone else on this planet right now."

Wow I am glad that guy spoke out. Yeah shut up and take your pills and get on with the mind control. I've heard the YOU HAVE IT SO GOOD! stuff when stating that something seems wrong with the way of life here. They have put the populace in a place where they can't even question the system or what is being done with their life. Follow the carrot or else!

I am going to admit this, outside of my relationship with God and with my husband, you can add me to the list of the stressed out.  Too many losses have piled up over too many years. Does this make me a bad person? I know this is a risk in the dumbed down "Think Positive" culture that really brings people more pain when they judge them for saying the emperor is naked. Run as fast as you can! What are you nuts for saying life in America isn't the best in the world!

That connections to people are so hard to acquire that part of me just wants to give up. When you have said goodbye to so many not by choice, it adds up.  It's not that I can't make friends, but it seems that  the musical chairs just go on and on, and you end up standing alone too many times.
Maybe I have a personality that was not designed for this society. I am tired of saying Goodbye to people. I miss too many.

One thing everyone else is constantly busy and stressed out trust me they don't have time for you either. You start feeling like another "burden" on their list of things to do, but then you feel guilt yourself when someone calls you at 11pm and you are too tired to talk and you wonder if you are doing enough for your friends with your own difficulties serving as barriers. You ask yourself why are all my friends save for one, hundreds and thousands of miles away or met on the internet to begin with? Some seem to be able to do the social thing with little effort and feelings of spontaneity , I am not one of them.  You live dreaming about a world where people are connected to each other and there. You have strange dreams where you are back at a church where you felt like they were your family before economics broke it all apart.  You don't want to appear needy so you learn to spread yourself thin and keep your needs to yourself. You delve into hobbies and writing and other causes, but then you pop your head up and think "where is everyone"? You picture yourself as a bag lady alone in the street.

One cannot replace a family if one does not have one. See the picture above, there is a reason that meme on Facebook exists. How many are facing what I am? Mine only lets people in the door who have nice suburban houses and money to travel thouands of miles.  I became a throw-away person years ago, and my protests, attempts to reclaim relationships, and more failed.  I haven't seen nieces and nephews or my siblings in three years. I never could have children. No one visits me. Yeah it hurts. What can I do about it? I reached out and offered trial balloons which were only popped. I don't have the money to get to them. I wonder how many people are facing this. I can't be the only one. All those values being discarded, well there is real human costs to all that. The families breaking apart, that's not just theory to some of us, it's reality. Who convinced people that other things were so much more important? I know there's got to be others in my boat out there. You want to stay vibrant, not be a downer. Not being one of those lonely women in the corner everyone feels sorry for, but how do you suppress so many emotions successfully?

Think the wrong thoughts in America, and you are hated.  What would you think if a friend of 30 years duration turned to you and told you to keep your mouth shut about something you really believed in? This happened to me this week. Do you keep your principles or do you lose someone else? What if your principles and beliefs are not popular ones and being true to yourself means that you may be alone?  My loyalties go to God first and I am not one to sell out, but then that can be hard as well. Anyone, I mean anyone who questions the system today, there are different ways they make people pay. Anything that is non-mainstream basically where the talking heads do not give their approval is enough for you to be made into a non-person. Sometimes non-personhood can happen via many other factors. We have a society now where some are included and many are not.
Whose defending the underdog anymore? I try to.

I redid the taxes, and only will be able to take 400 dollars a $5,000 tax debt for 4-5 hours of work on complicated tax forms. Thanks to my commenter who was so helpful. I finally figured out what I was doing! There is no book to really explain all this. One or two unclaimed EIC deductions, that's it. My husband makes about the same or less then I do on disability, so you do the math on what a crushing debt this is. Add in millions with insane debts from young people with student loans that way outdistance their income or ability to pay. This is psychic damage beyond belief. Does anyone sit back and think, this is crazy! There are many silently feeling those emotions of desperation. God has made sure we have kept the food and roof over our head, but years of this does grind people down. I wonder how it will ever be paid off as they dump more penalties on our head. I feel sorry for young people today, handed false promises and then not prepared for the real life that awaits.

Life in America today seems to be one punishment after another. No school principal or crazed abusive Dad could match the butt whippings that await anyone who gets a bit short of cash in America. Some may say "Oh you have the best life, in the world, but too many goodbyes add up and the expectations mean many simply do not measure up!" What if you have values your society doesn't match? Where you feel like everything important to you is devalued. What is a person's choices then?

I think there is something to my husband and I joking about moving to Finland, or another country to try and get a better life. Maybe we know inside that things are growing worse here. It's not just the growing police state and pseudo-martial law and the constant violence which I saw way too much of in that huge metro city years ago that disturbs one's peace, but add in the crushing debt, the jobs or people that never stick around, the endless bills.

Then add in a society where it says FUN is bad, and life is supposed to be spent adhering to an endless list of check points, accomplishments, goals and BUCKET lists. "Change the world"? Some of us are too tired. LOL Ugh I hate bucket lists, just another "to do list" of show-offs to impress others in my opinion. All socially mandated things like risking one's life on a zipline or spending your children's inheritance while they struggle to pay the light bill to go on a cruise. Just more brainwashing for the masses to never to look up. Fun is bad. Responsibility is everything, Relationships are last priority. So wonder life here is on a downward pull. Some of us still believe in fun, I'm one of them. If I never had fun I wouldn't have made it this long, but then you know how people I run into who don't believe in fun? It's a long list. Think about what has been done to so many people via the endless demands--even the fat thing where everyone must be a perfect weight etc.

I am in a self help group where I see the fellow depressed on a regular basis, and one time I said to them..."Maybe it's not us, maybe it's this society we live in! This place is messed up!" I hope I am some help to them at least! Maybe some think I am crazy when I talk like this. Maybe I will do a presentation on having fun. Yes that is my next idea for one.

Hey I know life is not perfect, but I am old enough to know a lot of things have changed and the way they are changing is very disturbing. At least one sliver lining in the cloud exists for me regarding this comment from this article I am posting about.

-When you were a kid you liked to draw, and read, and run, and laugh, and play, and imagine a magical world. You’re never going to do any of that again.

 The fact is I can still read, draw and think. I got to do it again! That is a blessing I suppose that lies within being tossed outside the box, and lifting your head from the grindstone, you can look around and wonder what is it all for? You can see it from the outside. You realize how much of it is a lie. You realize how people are paying the price in a society where mammon rules. You think to yourself even with a body that is representative of a culture gone amuk, one of the so called fat and stressed out Americans about what could be, and what you want out of life and what to do with it. You think can I get out? Can I find another way of life? Can I find a life that is pleasing to God and myself? Where I can live out my values instead of just being crushed by debt, feeling rejected and wondering where it is all going?

Are there other possibilities?

Anyhow after I am done writing here today--I have acouple articles to do, I am going to smell some flowers, go to the nature center by the end of the week, go find some scenery, hang out with husband and ignore the rat race.

I was glad this article said, that many people do want to drop out. I'm partially dropped out involuntarily via disability, but I am glad that I am not alone in that.

See: Dropping Out, Modern Life and Me


  1. You're not alone, 500 Pound Peep: I remember seeing a massage therapist coming in to my job. "This is good," I told myself, "maybe people will actually get a break that means something." Not so -- I saw this woman dutifully doing her thing, with the people involved still sitting at their desks! I wondered right then and there if the world had truly gone crazy...look where we are now.

  2. i completely agree with you but also i see a lot of younger people who want everything. Most 22 year olds seem to think they are entitled to a house a nice one!), a new car, all the latest smartphones, cable, going out, etc etc. I don't disagree that we have very real problems but it frustrates me to see kids who expect everything and then say life is so hard when they can't afford a new iphone. there's a very real difference between a lot of what you are describing and them. I am just voicing frustration with them.

  3. So first anon, they wouldn't even move away from their desks for massages? I thought it was sad when in the news they would say people had lunch at their desks, and they were so "proud" of that. It just seemed to encourage mindless serfdom and not taking care of one's self. An employer should not object to someone having a half an hour or even a bit more to go eat during a long work day.

  4. Second anon, with the young people, I think a lot of that "entitlement" stuff is happening because they are not being given reality in your average public school or by parents who happen to be better off. They are not going to tell them how the job market really is or how hard it is to make a living. I really had no clue when I was young. My parents never faced one moment of unemployment which to me and always made great pay which is a mystery even observing my husband's lay-offs even when he worked so hard.

    Parents some who of the generation who were able to get jobs, right out the door with no problems, don't get it either, and don't warn the young people. Maybe that was more a problem for Generation X with Baby Boomer parents then now, but look at our media, there are no working class or poor people displayed. The 80-% of the America populace which is scrapping by isn't even shown. When I lived in my small rural town it was poor and I- phones were RARE. I had culture shock moving to this place. I can't afford one and probably never will.

    The only exception is I saw an MTV True Life once that had some poor people on there, but they acted like they were the "exception"" when I thought the numbers of people in that boat are far higher. I think those entitlement attitudes are from the media. What is scary is these young people are coming out to the worse economy ever, and many are poor and poorer then I was even.


    I have cousins hitting their late 20s who NEVER have left home, that is kind of scary. They didn't even get the milkcrates and rented rooms I managed. The 22 year olds are being kept clueless, one thing I warn on a social website the truth about the economy because I was so unprepared being raised upper middle class and falling down the socioeconomic ladder with way too much mocking and lack of empathy to go with it but it seems they do not want to know. I worry no self reliance is being taught, and they are SO UNPREPARED even less then I was, so what's going to happen to them? The mindless materialism seems to have grown far worse then when I was young too. You are right about that.

  5. you're right they are SO unprepared! I know more than one person starting out in their twenties who has turned up their nose at people offering nice used furniture. I'm only mid-thirties and i have never purchased new furniture except a mattress. I think you're right people pick up on what they think is real life in the media. the attitude seems to be now that if they can't have what their parents do that they will just stay at home. i know lots of people in their thirties who have kids of their own still and live with their parents. and mom and dad (grandparents now) still do their adult childs laundry, etc. I can't help feeling as a society we have really become inept when adults aren't interested in even caring for themselves.

  6. I hear you on the family thing. Some of my birth family have become "Facebook friends", and that's okay with me. I am aware, though, that we don't have a lot in common. Different values, different priorities, and that's OK.

    I have close friends that I treasure, who were supportive in helping deal with my dad's illness (and even helped move his things, helped get his place ready to sell, etc) and hubby's hospitalization last year. I can't fix the culture, but I can try to make my part sane & focus on what's important to me.

  7. Anon, yes they are very unprepared. Course I wonder what is going to happen in a country where very few can get a job and how are they going to make it. I've never bought a new piece of furniture in my entire life except one 25$ dollar floor lamp from a discount store. Sadly the parents haven't prepared them for real life. Mine were so securely employed I remain flabbergasted at how different things turned out. Most people in my generation those parents are retired now, but life was so far different. I know of the people with children themselves still living at home. I guess I would rather parents have some kindness rather then a sink or swim mentality like I faced when I almost died of health problems impoverished in the ghetto [I moved there for a job and tried my best to survive] but then you have ones who are so spoiled they will never fly out of the nest. What are they going to do when the parents are gone?

  8. Thanks living400lbs, yes mine are Facebook friends, I have not seen some relatives in 8 years and father's side in more then that. With some I've been cut off and well I do have different values and priorities too, many I do not relate to their life. Guess that goes both ways. I read somewhere that someone doesn't grow up now to automatically have anything in common with their family. It seems I would have had one who ended up like me or partially like me biologically but I was that proverbial "black sheep". I have close friends I treasure too, some long distant. I am and was closer [the ones who died] for many years to them. I can talk to my close friends about anything. They come visit this blog. LOL I am glad yours were there for helping with your Dad's illness and your husband hospitalization. We have had friends help around here including one friend of both me and my husband who is very giving and there for us. Yes fixing this culture probably won't happen. I had to face facts that leaving it, via dropping out to join that dreamed about community, or emigrating probably isn't going to happen in my state of health so I am trying to make do, the best I can. I of course live a slower lifestyle by contrast to most, and collect stamps, read and take things slower even for my health both physical and mental well-being. Thanks for your input.