Conspiracy Theories

When I deconverted as I have written about, I left the world of bible prophecy and most conspiracy theory behind. I still study and read some "conspiracy", I still have questions about 9-11, Bill Gates and still believe that a lot of bullshit goes down, in the interest of profit and people doing bad things. Astroturfing is real. Governments and other organizations use propaganda to sway populations. Connections do rule this world but this is more organic then planned.

The Covid19 tragedy hasn't been a good event for a recovering conspiracy theorist. What am I to think when it turns out the doomsday preppers were right? Society could be on the edge of collapse. In the privacy of my home, I talk to my husband about my fears of Mad Max becoming reality in the next few months. He seems to think everything will "return to normal". I had to shut down my fears to mentally survive, so am doing art work, and trying to enjoy life day by day. He told me once, "Even if this stuff is true, really what can you do about it?" I suppose that made sense, one has limits on health, resources and there's no way I can afford a bunker.

 With all conspiracy, research everything, a lot of conspiracy is bunk. I do still believe there is stuff going on that is not good which is hidden from the public and where propaganda/astroturfing etc rules the day. Maybe my belief that Trump is a traitor would be considered a conspiracy by some, but actual conspiracies in war and other events are real. Society got too complex, and that's a problem for much of the public. Science education in America is very poor. I have had to deal with immense holes in my own science education, even the man I had for a college general studies science class was a fundie at a public university. My uber Catholic education as a child had overlaps with those stuck in the fundie world. There's too much I do not know.

I still have friends into conspiracy like me, though obviously most of the Christian ones and I parted ways. I said to a few people about Covid19, "Wait and see, don't believe it's a hoax, listen to the scientists on this one." Sure our concerns about the destruction of more civil rights still applies, but pandemics have happened before. Obviously we are at this point now, where everyone knows someone who has had it--I do, and many know someone who has died. I don't like those who get upset if you talk about bio-weapons, because that is fact, that we have had labs studying those things and containment is an issue.

Conspiracy and Christian fundamentalism often goes hand in hand. It did for me. While there's non-religious conspiracy folks or ones in other religions, I have noticed even on secular conspiracy websites that are not Christian, there is often this underlying world view that Satan and his minions are running things at the top layers. While yes there are greedy people who do bad things, this explanation is too simple.


Even David Icke who has more New Age/Source beliefs refers to Satan or "the Satanic Elite". I suppose he means it to use the word "evil". I believe evil is real, but some of the Satan talk obviously weirds me out given my beliefs of today. Humankind is limited in the big picture often. Seeing the world as a scripted battle between good and evil especially in the religious mode affects one's view of it. It does not provide discussions or explanations that lead to SCIENTIFIC ANSWERS. 

It leads one deeper into fables.

As a UU, I am embracing complexity again, but it's difficult in this traumatic world. These answers aren't doing much for humanity anyhow. Fear itself leads to dystopia. Brene's Brown's conjecture about "lack of data" [aka questioning why do so many BAD things happen] fits here.

Here's the problem, a lot of conspiracies are harmful. I believe there is some bad stuff that is real that goes on, but a lot of conspiracy is propaganda, full blown lies, and rests in anti-science or not understanding science. Conspiracy can make people mentally ill. I've seen it happen. People in my old fundie rural town sold everything off, and "went off the grid", it made two people homeless, I used to be friends with.

I wonder if abuse and trauma can take people into conspiracy more easily. I was LIED to so much within my abusive family, I had to be hyper-vigilant detective just to get through the day.  This article claims that conspiracy brings comfort out of chaos to some. Betrayed by medical experts for too many years, I learned long ago not to "trust the experts". I do believe a lot of lies and social constructs runs society too. Learning to listen to the voice within here is important. Extreme religion leaves one open to more absurdities. America seems to be a traumatized country in general, where fear rules, so conspiracy runs this place now and people have rejected science and rationality for Trump.

Carl Sagan warned about what would happen in America with religion and conspiracy.  I do still read conspiracy stuff, but am trying to "unravel" things still. I am exploring now as an outsider, breaking down the worldview. I didn't buy everything even when in. One thing that disturbs me now, are there are conspiracy people still saying Covid19 is a hoax, or exaggerated. So there's real life effects for society and individuals from this stuff. The anti-vaxxers brought measles back as a problem.  These individuals suffered.

America as a whole is being run by extreme conspiracy believers now via Trump and his minions instead of those seeking after science and rationality, that's a problem. Oh I think it is better for someone to say, "I don't know" instead of making up explanations out of thin air. Extreme religion demands answers for everything, while the scientific minded would be more likely say, "I don't know but let's explore the evidence together."

UPDATE 2022: Trump and Q was controlled opp, but many conspiracies are true. They do still use religion to manage people, trying to find the truth in the thicket of lies is not easy but conspiracy, conspiracies to do bad things, and lie, are real.

Update 2023: The Bible Prophecy I used to write about seems to be all coming true. Yes this has changed some of my outlooks.