Taking out the narcissist trash.....
No contact has changed me. I am putting up with less abuse from people. Yesterday, I kicked someone off a social website for mocking me about eating out and unfriended and blocked him. I thought to myself, "This guy always treated people like crap, why am I even talking to him here?". So out he goes. This guy was always mean and sarcastic to everyone. He had this snide sense of humor and also extreme libertarian politics where he thought there should be no welfare and everyone poor should go into the gutter. His profession was a gun smith. I didn't understand why some guy who even lost his house and who lived in a dying rural community, the one I was forced to leave, believes in the bankers so much but you can see the brainwashing full front and center. Much of the right has led poor rural people to embrace their own demise, using the "self-reliant" gospel as they rob the place. This is why you have seen unions be the first to go in some poor states.
I'm was friends with him on Facebook because he was in a co-op group for a music and art center, I and my husband used to be in. I have 10 mutual friends with the guy. One thing the toxic always seem to go for the "weight juggernaut". It is such a ready one in this society. Piss someone off and happen to be fat? They will have no problem picking where to go for the insults. My husband unfriended him too for disrespecting me. One can end up in this extended taking out the narcissist trash mode for some time even a couple years after no contact.
I do think about all the crud I put up with from people for years. I wanted to be "nice", but the "doormat" is changing and refusing to be a doormat. One can be taking out the narcissist trash for years when they go no contact from their original abusers. The implications of having a sociopathic mother and a narcissistic father that protected me from no one and where I didn't learn to protect myself until recently are lasting for decades late into my life.
I'm walking away from anyone I deem mean. Sometimes there seems to be a lot of narcissists out there. Fat insulters are getting kicked to the curb immediately.
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How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these.
ReplyDeleteExcept for the personality disordered. You can anything you want to them.
George Washington Carver wrote the first part of this, I made up the second part about PD's
Yes that comment fits perfectly. Some of the narcs seem to have this idea they will never age nor ever be weak. I like how you changed it. :)
DeleteExactly q! And good for you, Peep! Takin' out the trash for sure! I keep hoping we might also get rid of the stench and mold they leave behind. :) -- Lora
DeleteYyaaayyyy you Peeps :)
ReplyDeleteYes, I know that from my own experience. Over time you become more discerning of abusers, you see more people for what they are, and it's increasingly easier to cut them off. Good on you for protecting yourself. This is a skill our families of origin should have cultivated in us, but didn't (in addition to being less of a target for abuse in the first place, by being a loved, happy, confident child). Well, it's good we achieved it at some point in life. Stay in take-no-crap mode.
ReplyDeleteYes I agree. One discerns the abusers more and more and knows to get away from them. I agree this is a skill we were supposed to learn early on but surrounded by predators, we learned everything opposite in developing confidence and happiness. I agree, no more taking crap.
DeleteI think that person you are talking about on facebook is my ex. lol
ReplyDeleteBut its great that you are growing. Love to see it. May we all see the day we are out of the approval hell.
LOL I can't wait to be out of approval hell. Sorry you had an ex like this. I once met this guy's wife, he socialized mostly without her, which would be enough for me to get a divorce from someone, she looked down trodden as crazy. I felt sorry for her. I could imagine every word coming out of his mouth as a mocking sneer. I'm glad not to put up with people like this anymore.
DeleteI had to get rid of many abusive narcs when I started NC 25 years ago. I was hurt at first until I realized these people were narcs and it was not my fault that they did not like me.
ReplyDeleteRight now, I am seeing that several pastors, religious leaders, and national leaders of Intervarsity Christian groups are also narcs. In order to be accepted by these people, I had to be brain-dead and absorb dry teachings for dead-heads. I had to have a brain that is as dead as a robot who has no soul or heart.
I also have to submit myself to abuse by reconciling with my malignant, adopted narc mother, by submitting to abuses by people at Intervarsity, and embracing feminism that made many women single, I have to reject Jesus Christ and please evil people and narcs of this worlds. I also have to sell my soul to Satan since I know that these people are not being Christ-like and loving to poor, unfortunate, and hurting people. I had to drill my brain everyday and tell myself that these people who know they are not being loving are Christ-like when I have a bible in front of me telling me that they are not.,
I have to risk my soul by laughing at people who read bible "literally" and who appear to be backward to those who politically corrected, are "adjusting their understanding of the bible in order to fit with the modern world," and to "love all of your enemies, pray for all of your enemies," including all malignant narcs, sociopaths, and evil people who already know that God is displeased with them.
There are people who know that they are not nice, who are not loving to those Jesus loves, and who are wrong, but they don't care. Why should we care about them and pray for their blessings if they are already blessed with money, easier lives, marriage, children, and a life of comfort? If they are narcs who treat me like crap, I need to pluck them out of my life and spend time interacting with those who treat me with respect. Garbage in, Garbage Out!
Hi Anon, I am in shock of how many abusive narcs I am having to get rid of. It is kind of scary. I sometimes have thought Maybe I am being too hard but then they match the originals in too much.
ReplyDeleteReligious nacdom is out of control and well an international wealthy para-religious group definitely is going to be full of narcissists. Agree about the dead heads and dry teachings. I've seen the dry boring globalist loving false teachings too. Have no interest. Yes many in the religious world told me I was wrong to go NC, and I was condemned for not having a family at all or the picket fence life with several children. People who believe the Bible are definitely mocked in that "political correct" world. I have read some of those false pastors words about the bible and they may as well apply for their atheist card tomorrow. Ever notice how much they love the world and the suburban upper middle class dead cookie cutter plastic culture they all seem to come out of? They all dress alike with their goatees. They teach a false religious system that defends the wicked and the men making merchandise of people. It's to elevate themselves. I agree about Garbage In Garbage Out.