"The Fifteen, Evil, Well Planned and Skillfully Executed Steps of Character Assassination "

Is there any way at all to break out of this? ACONS galore figured the only way to break out of it all was by going no contact. This was one of the best articles I found that shared exactly what it is like. See the article in it's entirety at the link. This author is working from the angle of having a relationship with a narcissist, but this definitely applies to us with familial narcissists. Don't forget to scroll down and see the fifteen steps as she has them outlined:

The Fifteen, Evil, Well Planned and Skillfully Executed Steps of Character Assassination


"One, very common, frustration for the Victims/Survivors of the abuse of an N/S/P is that no one will believe you! I hesitate to call it a "frustration" because it is so MUCH MORE than that in reality. 

The effects from this can range from the 

annoying...i.e.strangers that have no power to affect you, believing lies about you, 

to the soul destroying...i.e your own family members turning against you, 

to the life changing....i.e. convincing the court that you are lying, resulting in the loss of your children and/or your ability to support yourself.

The ability of the N/S/P abusers to convince others that we are untruthful, unbalanced, cruel, vindictive, crazy, selfish, back-stabbers, bad parents and a myriad of other things...is their single most life changing "skill". So MANY times it is simply your word against theirs...but even when you have PROOF they are very successful in making others refuse to even CONSIDER at it by convincing them that you are "petty" and "vindictive". 

They CRY to others about how we have HURT them. They PURPOSEFULLY may decide to tell people how very much they LOVED YOU and how THEY are not angry with YOU and how they cannot understand how you could have "turned on them" this way. Often they tell others that they suspect that it is DRUGS or a MENTAL DISORDER and how MUCH they have TRIED to HELP US. It is NOT unknown for them to even produce TEARS in the right places.

They play the hurt "victim" to the HILT while simultaneously tormenting their victims unmercifully and cruelly, causing us ANGER and JUSTIFIABLE RAGE...and then use that very anger and rage to show EVERYONE JUST HOW UNSTABLE YOU ARE. 

When these other people...the "flying monkeys" who buy their stories, attempt to approach us about it, to "reason with us", repeating the lies they have been told...

that they have BELIEVED...we are HURT and ANGRY. Our FIRST reaction is to try to EXPLAIN...to try to CONVINCE...to try to CORRECT the lies. 

THIS ALSO FALLS RIGHT INTO THEIR PLAN...because they have been plotting this out and they KNOW how to arrange everything JUST the way they want it. 

The MORE you speak, the more these people become convinced that the abuser is CORRECT...the angrier you get about the betrayal of the abuser 

AND the flying monkeys....the more they are convinced that the abuser is correct. 

When you, justifiably, become upset that these people you have counted as friends, 

or even family members, your parents, your children, 

have so EASILY BEEN CONVINCED BY LIES...the more you are likely to lash out at them. 

Then, of COURSE, they simply CANNOT UNDERSTAND why YOU are angry at THEM. 

Once again, "The abuser MUST have been correct because you are NOW turning, irrationally and without REASON, EVEN on your friends and family!" 

It is a VICIOUS CYCLE and a trap that is nearly impossible to escape from. 

The ONLY hope is for these people to SEE IT FOR THEMSELVES because you will likely NEVER convince them!"