Friday, October 2, 2015

"The Fifteen, Evil, Well Planned and Skillfully Executed Steps of Character Assassination "

Is there any way at all to break out of this? ACONS galore figured the only way to break out of it all was by going no contact. This was one of the best articles I found that shared exactly what it is like. See the article in it's entirety at the link. This author is working from the angle of having a relationship with a narcissist, but this definitely applies to us with familial narcissists. Don't forget to scroll down and see the fifteen steps as she has them outlined:

The Fifteen, Evil, Well Planned and Skillfully Executed Steps of Character Assassination

"One, very common, frustration for the Victims/Survivors of the abuse of an N/S/P is that no one will believe you! I hesitate to call it a "frustration" because it is so MUCH MORE than that in reality. 
The effects from this can range from the 
annoying...i.e.strangers that have no power to affect you, believing lies about you, 
to the soul destroying...i.e your own family members turning against you, 
to the life changing....i.e. convincing the court that you are lying, resulting in the loss of your children and/or your ability to support yourself.

The ability of the N/S/P abusers to convince others that we are untruthful, unbalanced, cruel, vindictive, crazy, selfish, back-stabbers, bad parents and a myriad of other their single most life changing "skill". So MANY times it is simply your word against theirs...but even when you have PROOF they are very successful in making others refuse to even CONSIDER at it by convincing them that you are "petty" and "vindictive". 

They CRY to others about how we have HURT them. They PURPOSEFULLY may decide to tell people how very much they LOVED YOU and how THEY are not angry with YOU and how they cannot understand how you could have "turned on them" this way. Often they tell others that they suspect that it is DRUGS or a MENTAL DISORDER and how MUCH they have TRIED to HELP US. It is NOT unknown for them to even produce TEARS in the right places.

They play the hurt "victim" to the HILT while simultaneously tormenting their victims unmercifully and cruelly, causing us ANGER and JUSTIFIABLE RAGE...and then use that very anger and rage to show EVERYONE JUST HOW UNSTABLE YOU ARE. 

When these other people...the "flying monkeys" who buy their stories, attempt to approach us about it, to "reason with us", repeating the lies they have been told...
that they have BELIEVED...we are HURT and ANGRY. Our FIRST reaction is to try to try to try to CORRECT the lies. 

THIS ALSO FALLS RIGHT INTO THEIR PLAN...because they have been plotting this out and they KNOW how to arrange everything JUST the way they want it. 
The MORE you speak, the more these people become convinced that the abuser is CORRECT...the angrier you get about the betrayal of the abuser 
AND the flying monkeys....the more they are convinced that the abuser is correct. 
When you, justifiably, become upset that these people you have counted as friends, 
or even family members, your parents, your children, 
have so EASILY BEEN CONVINCED BY LIES...the more you are likely to lash out at them. 

Then, of COURSE, they simply CANNOT UNDERSTAND why YOU are angry at THEM. 

Once again, "The abuser MUST have been correct because you are NOW turning, irrationally and without REASON, EVEN on your friends and family!" 

It is a VICIOUS CYCLE and a trap that is nearly impossible to escape from. 
The ONLY hope is for these people to SEE IT FOR THEMSELVES because you will likely NEVER convince them!"


  1. Since they have so many supporters it is hard to admit the truth about my MN mother even to myself. This is a woman who can backstab you to your face and you will not be the wiser, and then you see all these people come at you at once and you never knew what hit you. I always knew she hated me, but just didn't know it. Know what I mean? I second guess myself so much I'm only able to use emotion now to fully express myself. I mean, truth escapes me sometimes. I learned that when I'm upset or hurt or needing to explain myself the "truth" might be programmed in me from long ago. I learned from this one site to write down all the truths, then feel my way through them, then I have the answer.

    But if I'm crazy, its because she made me crazy. If I can't find my way through something, its because it was in mother's best interests for me to be this way. I have family members that laugh at me, and they gaslight themselves. They admitted to me that mother was cruel, but at the very same time call her loving and sweet. Now you can't be all that in one person. Her intentions were to be cruel and that don't make a loving and kind person. I think in some ways flying monkeys are crazier than their leaders, if that is possible.

    And I don't feel sorry for them either, they are making their own decisions, regardless. I can't blame the narcissists for them either, they do this completely on their own. Illogically, they are illogical.

    Since I have the voice of the internet I want to get that out there.

    I feel narcs left on their own would have been exposed a long time ago. Its their creepy counterparts that keep up the scam. Take that dear auntie.

    1. Yes it drives you crazy how many supporters they have. It makes me sick. I agree mine could get people to hate me even when I did not have one bad word with those folks. Her power over others still scares me to this day. I understand what you mean by I always know she hated me but I didn't know it, know it. I know sometimes facing the truth is too awful. Sometimes I fear that magical thinking or living in denial of what this world is really about does screw the scapegoat more then anything else.

      I agree they make us crazy. They do teach others to gaslight and lie too, and so wonder the fog grows thicker. I remember when I was younger a few would protest her but then it's like she took over their minds. I think the flying monkeys can definitely be crazy. It's weird how flying monkeys will even enjoy their own demise and even defend someone who rips them to shreds. I do blame Aunt Scapegoat for turning my mother into MORE of a MONSTER with her weakness and passivity. The flying monkeys pour gasoline on the fire. The make it so we can't even defend ourselves. It is disgusting. They are as loathsome as the people they are in servitude too. I agree it is the creepy and weak counterparts who keep up the scam.

  2. My mother didn't shut up until she was dead. And I couldn't prove to you that death silenced her. I just know they buried her deep enough you can't hear what she has to say anymore.

    1. She's probably driving the demons crazy in hell.