"Obesity and The Marshmallow Conspiracy"

Often on this blog, I have put forth my theory that we are being made fat on purpose and for profit. I believe we are becoming fatter from adulterated and chemically laden food and lack of nutrition. Even as I described recently the differences between a normal apple and an organic apple were astonishing to me. I now can eat only the organic. This guy shares his thoughts about our ruined food and why the obesity is out of control. I probably would have chosen a different healthier food they have ruined, since this always has been considered a sweet but read on and you'll see:

"Obesity and The Marshmallow Conspiracy"

"I remember when a marshmallow was a marshmallow, do you? Have you tried to roast a marshmallow lately, good luck? What has happened to the good old marshmallow? The same thing that has happened to most of our food. When we were not paying any attention they took the marshmallow out of marshmallows but kept the price moving gradually upward. What is in the marshmallow today? Artificial color, artificial flavor, corn syrup, dextrose, gelatin (cow hooves), modified corn starch, sugar and tetrasodium pyrophosphate, sounds like a gut bomb to me. It still looks like a marshmallow and they still call it a marshmallow but it is obviously not. This kind of slow changing of ingredients has gone on throughout the food industry; it reminds me of the Trojan horse. The food industry's major concern is shelf life and marketing a lot of their junk to us, not what happens after we eat the stuff. Now suddenly everyone is noticing that gee, we have an obesity epidemic (1/3 of the country obese) and a whole lot of other epidemics. Medical science's weak answer to the obesity epidemic is genetics, so they can research it and make more drugs. But wait a minute, how does the genetics of an entire country change in a matter of years? I am sure that your doctor cares, but does the medical industry care? Why should they care; more sick people means more money into their industry. Many people I have talked to blame the obese person saying "they eat too much and they are lazy". One third of the country and growing, I don't think so.

Through the food industry, our food is subjected to poor farming methods, irradiation, pasteurization, emulsification, over-refining, genetic modification, steriod-ization, antibiotic-ization. Then before it gets to us they add aspartame, MSG, artificial colors, sodium nitrite, hydrogenated oils, high-fructose corn syrup, acesulfame K, BHA, BHT, olestra, bromate, sulfites, senomyx, and I could go on and on. Good grief, what do they think we are? You and I know that this is not right. A marshmallow should be a marshmallow, not degrade into something chemically unrecognizable. Food should have food value and nourish us, not turn us into an obese sickly country, you know it, I know it and they should know it.

Not long ago the people of England got upset with the food industry over some GMF ingredients that were being put in their foods. Some of the companies involved were pretty big and used to having their way. Well when they realized that the public was angry, they pulled those foods and ingredients from the shelves in one week flat. Maybe we need to do the same thing here in the United States."

"Too Fat To Work" Anti-Fat People Propaganda

In the USA, you can't just be fat to get disability, but often over a certain size the co-morbidities are disabling enough. It looks like England is fattening up as much as America, though our problem here is worse. I do believe they are fattening up the populations worldwide, the so called obesity conspiracy and it goes far beyond just people becoming lazy sloths.

With the fat people healthy enough to work, most of them simply cannot be hired. I remember the hell I went through trying to get jobs when I was merely in the 200s and very active, this during the time when I walked three miles for FUN. I still was gaining weight though.

I do wish the show had some captions, I have a hard time hearing accents, but did the best I could, there are some ad interruptions.

I have noticed with this show new fat hatred growing in England where they produced this show and smug announcers express an less than under-stated disgust for the obese who are on the dole or the English version of disability. I fear a growing movement in America and Europe to throw the disabled in the gutter. Obviously it is horrifying to note that they see all obesity by choice. Sadly these opinions are growing here too.

The powers that be are increasing the BLAME THE POOR AND DISABLED rhetoric, and it is worsening. Sadly most normal people are buying the propaganda. This show I believe was produced to increase this in England and around the world. As more countries head into banker and politician caused economic troubles, the disabled and poor will be the first on the chopping block. It will happen here too.

I swelled up A LOT yesterday, I went to the eye doctor and then shopping at a Mexican market buying real food for 50 bucks that would last for some days and walking through a Lowe's to find something to unplug the drains. I cooked when I was home too. I can walk more then I used to be able to but it swells me up like a giant balloon. This is the hell I live, desiring activity but the body rebelling against it.  I am in pain today from the swelling, my legs were wrapped and Flexitouched so they are holding out but I will have to lay down more of the day to "recover". No one could even imagine. I am still coping with the fact that this is "forever" for me and this disease is not curable. I am constantly frustrated with hunger pain and trying to balance activity levels with a body that can't take much.

Being fat and disabled can be a scary world. The condemnation is severe. "Why don't you just lose weight fatty?" I realized after going no contact that one of my mother's smear campaigns was telling people I was a disability malingerer and if I was really "disabled" instead of fat and lazy, that I'd already be dead. I realized to my horror, given even words of other relatives, this is how they have seen me for years. As a lazy "fat bum" who won't help herself. They didn't give a crap about me having severe PCOS or thyroid conditions or COPD or even the later lipedema diagnosis. Hey my mother pointed to my swelling legs circa 1998 and said, "You should do something about that!" as if I sat around and willed my legs to grow bigger. This is why that one cousin used my being disabled to attack me. I have no worries, my medical documentation is high and doctors support my disability but it shows the depth of the hatred I faced. I do fear it from strangers too. While I have lived in mostly polite small towns the last 15 years of my life, I know this growing hatred against the disabled, is something people in my position have to be mindful of.

While we had tens of thousands of centers for the drug addicts and alcoholics, there's only 5-6 rehabs in the entire nation for the severely obese and some of those are more nursing homes then rehabilitative. This tells me they know their treatment of obesity fails far more then it does for the drug addicts. Does this mean only a few of the fat are food addicts and something more is going on? Otherwise why 10s of thousands of centers for the addicts to controlled substances and so few for the obese? I almost put myself in a center in 2008, but realized one was more nursing home and also was told because I could still "walk", I'd be long down the waiting list.

That's an admission of some sort isn't it?

Some of the fat people want to work on the video and are healthy enough to do so.

On the video above, they show a woman with pet rats [6:15] that is more midsized obese where she admits that she has applied for more then 100 jobs. It bothers me that this is not questioned, as I wrote on another article, our jobs system is broken here and it looks like there too as anyone with a small difference now is thrown out of the running in the never ending "weed out" process. I was saddened to see someone who is less then 100lbs overweight seeing dangerous WLS as her only option.

Notice something about Amy the 18 year old? [8:00] She's taking the dog for walk. I walked all over until the weight stopped me and bet she does too. I tend to think while they mention eating some snack foods she has some neglected medical problem. Her breathing sounds horrible for someone for her age and even her size. I have terrible lung problems so not judging her but when she climbed the stairs, [19:48]I know something is wrong. I think she needs tested for sleep apnea. [21:10]

One thing I was thinking of this morning, is, in the old days did people gain weight so easily? Did it take so much time and effort not to be fat? People just lived and their bodies didn't turn on them the extent they do today. People's bodies didn't swell like they do now. Remember the thin people eat too. They don't have their bodies do that.

We see the engaged couple going to a weight loss meeting. We know how that goes. Weight Watchers massively failed me. I followed it and went out of my mind with cabbage soup. As I have talked about before I have so much INVOLUNTARY food reduction as of late with tons of accompanying painful hunger pain, why isn't it working to take weight off?  I ate an apple for breakfast and its 10:10 am and hunger pain may force me to add some oatmeal to the apple.

Later I ate some cooked oatmeal--half a cup while writing this.  I plan to eat a falafel sandwich with tomato and onion for lunch midafternoon. I seriously worrying about gaining weight when our food is too low which I know is irony of ironies, but when you are poor, and know food has to last a certain period of time, there is little for snacks or any free eating. You have to measure every bit of food. You have to plan. One chicken piece has to be used for vegetable and hominy soup on Saturday.  I made burritos for dinner with black beans from scratch with cilantro and some avocado and took meat off a chicken leg and thigh to share between our burritos saving the other chicken piece for tonight. I saved rice for another meal. It takes a lot of energy.

While they make a big deal of the fat couple [Steve and Michelle] eating the gyro take away, one of the things I think about is how for the poor especially the limited income poor, meals out really is the only avenue of recreation open to them. Maybe I will post on this about how obesity is worsened by lack of recreational activities, because it does impact my life greatly.  That said the judgments in Britain especially for fat people eating out is usually beyond the pale. How dare they! Sorry but thin people are eating gyros too. I think gyros are to be avoided. It is a food I had to give up, I used to allow myself a sandwich-gyro once every two months but it's kidney stone territory for me. Skinny people are eating them too and not dying of an occasional gyro.

I supposed if you are disabled and fat, you are not allowed to eat out.

The woman at the 14:16 mark, is the lady getting a gastric bypass's daughter but she is already worried about her weight. Remember thin is far thinner in Europe. Sadly both believe the false promises about weight loss surgery

Do you notice something about Michelle? She has to walk quiet extensively even to shop for one meal. All that exercise and she is still overweight? This reminds me when I was in Chicago still having my weight gain walking, walking between endless bus stops and just trying to shop. While I understand how this happened with lipedema today back then it brought me endless confusion. I had no car and literally had to move around all the time even just to survive. Even to just use a phone, since we didn't have one, I had to walk at least a quarter of a block. Back then I had to walk a whole Save-A Lot at near 700lbs. I like when Steve talks about how hard it is to afford clothes [26:56]. In Britain this would be even more difficult.

I notice with the lady getting the gastric bypass her fridge is nearly empty. It makes me wonder if her obesity was impacted with food insecurity as well. I am worried for her, the special foods and pureed stuff for weight loss surgery is expensive. I knew when I was investigating weight loss surgery I could not afford or manage all that. With Rutabaga, pumpkin, and chicken breasts in her fridge, she looks like she already eats healthy.

One stat stands out to me, they say 1 in 5 people in Scotland are unemployed. Think something may be wrong with the jobs system? I sure do. Not just there but here. Soon good jobs will become a thing for the upper classes while the lower live in one room flats or tiny-houses in America and Europe on the dole or welfare or low wage work. The suburbs will be the ghettos of tomorrow. What is 32 stone? 600lbs? Oh a stone is 14lbs. Amy is 448lbs.

When they show Steve walking downtown, [31:40] it shows the breathlessness that can happen to fat people when trying to do all that exercise we are told to do. Many thin people if they had to breathe that hard and have all the pain would be crying their eyes out. Steve does seem to have very affected stamina and other health conditions as well since earlier in the video they said he had a stroke.

Mrs. Johnson is right about benefits being too small to put the right food on the table. [34:21] Amy is very fat but eating what appears to be a normal portioned lunch of ONE sandwich and some chips. Her mother talks about having toast and a cheese sandwich. I often believe that obesity is a disease of malnutrition more and more. Our food has less nutrients in it. There were days I was eating a cheese sandwich--not grilled in my case and vegan cheese slices at 40 calories for meals because there was nothing else to eat.

Why is everyone sitting in the back at the wedding at Steve and Michelle's wedding? The relatives all look thin, angry and annoyed, one flashes daggers out of her eyes. [40:41]. I had relatives get snotty about me daring to marry at an advanced weight.  Sadly as I watch Steve wheeze and get sick at his own wedding, I think of my ER visit on the night of my own for a leg infection which put me in the hospital for two weeks. I am beyond irritated by the relative who goes on about him losing weight. Look the man gets sicker as he pushes himself, how is weight loss supposed to come so naturally when to even to try and burn it off you'd be on the floor? He has other issues, he ended up with a blood clot on his lung and hospitalized for 9 days. I hope they can enjoy their marriage despite these challenges.

As I watched this show, I thought, WE ARE IN THE DARK AGES WHEN IT COMES TO OBESITY. They push weight loss that doesn't work. They don't assess different levels of hunger. They ignore the fact that exercise too affects overweight people differently. They ignore serious health problems such as respiratory disorders, blood clots and people who exercise and still do not lose weight.  They see obesity as a CHOICE and it's that fact alone, that STUPIDITY REIGNS and people who are disabled and fat are even more oppressed.

4 Reasons Diets Fail.

Here is one of those latest insipid diet articles written by the usual never has seen an ounce of fat in her life author--[if the picture is any indicator]. In this there doesn't seem to be any real advice we haven't heard before, except that you are lazy and must focus even more on saying "Don't Eat!", "Don't Eat"! This is like telling someone "Don't focus on the blue dot!" and then one's brains are filled with nothing but pictures of blue dots. One thing that troubled me about Weight Watchers was sitting about counting points all day long, it actually made me far more focused on food, and "what do I get to eat?"

Then there is the condemnation factor: forever thin woman, tells the fat people, they just need to work harder, and are "not fully committed"; you think by now, someone in the upper echelons of Diet Industries Inc would be saying, "hey you know this isn't working" maybe we should take a different approach but that is not where the money lies.

Here are my four reasons diets fail: [some of these I will be expanding on later]

1. They do not take into account the reality of human hunger. People get hungry. Fat people are hungrier {I will be doing a post on that later}. Eating a salad with no dressing for lunch and a small apple, I will guarantee you, your stomach will be growling to beat the band 2 hours later, and your brain even if you are surrounded by fun diversions, will be thinking of nothing but food.

I used to tell doctors, look doing Atkins, I passed out in the street after I ignored hours of my stomach growling to my own demise, if I eat one quarter of an English muffin--something I saw actually recommended by Richard Simmons, I may as well not waste my time.

2. They cost a lot of money that many fat people do not have. I own tons of diet books, every fat person does. I've often have had dreams about winning the Lotto, and being able to follow one of these diets to the tee, filling my cupboards with such niceties as Balsamic Vinegar, flax, and you name it.

3. Dieting drop kicks the metabolism. Lower the calories too much, and your body defending its set point, burns far less. Many continue the dieting merry-go-round. I believe the dieting mentality actually has led to more fat people. Unhappiness, activity as punishment, and starvation diets actually in an odd inverse way have led to more fat people. One thing, if you are low on money for groceries, and eat one [big] meal day, out of the unyielding hunger, it doesn't do pretty things to the metabolism for some folks.

4. Starvation Dieting is almost the inverse of binge eating, like two sides of the same coin, and seem to work to help each other along. Read up on the Minnesota Starvation Experiment, where starvation led some subjects to increased obesession with food and lowered metabolism.

Perhaps some will say to me, well you have failed dieting, yes I admit it even though I have lost great amounts in the past, and managed to scramble away from immediate death obesity--to merely morbid going to kill you more slowly obesity. I have lost at least 50lbs [I can be sure of] over the last 3 years, but when you're as big as me, even though there is a few dresses I can't wear out anymore due to too much looseness in the chest, 50lbs is barely noticeable at this size.

My endeavor here, is to get them to start finding stuff that works, instead of telling more of us, "its you", "youre just not committed enough".

Poem: The Fourth Turning for Generation X

 

Here's a poem I wrote a couple months ago.  As people here know, I have written about the generations for years. I will include the caveat for this too like other generation articles, not all members of a generation are bad, many are good people, so forth and so on. This points to general trends.

The Fourth Turning for Generation X

As the poles started to shift

The wolf arrived back at the door

(we never got used to its hot breath)

There's nowhere to run 

with empty pockets.

Mothers in her second home

sunning under the psalm tree

"You have nothing to show

for your life".

She told me when I hit 40

Perhaps under the Underpass one day

we can smell the burning roast beef

of our memories

VC Andrews books were traded in secret

We were reading about our betraying mothers

The crawling vines on the covers

stretched out for our wrists

Studs Lonigan died at 29

the Tenements had no mercy

Temp Slave continued

adjuncts hired

the union-busting won

and vacations vanished

retirement isn't there.

We've lost friends so young.

Dancing natives on the wall and

heavy pink ashtrays falling onto shag carpet

The lawn chairs folded in a rusty heap

The "me generation" faced

Vietnam, had apple pie and Evel Knievel

flying over those cars like gravity

stepped aside for him.

Slackers working 80 hours a week

were noticed only while sleeping.

We xeroxed zines and drew cartoons

of daily life. Factsheet Five listed them all

with Riot Grrl and Bust. 

Clerks bored stiff, we knew the world

could not be saved. Kurt said as much.

It made more sense to disengage with

Nine Inch Nails our soundtrack of anger

Our love bloomed hotter, with arms wrapped

around leather jackets.

Steinem preached empowerment via career

the bosses were more friendly then

and in the days of high heels

it fooled us. 

I took care of other people's children instead

of having my own. 

Remember when we could talk (in the record stores)

we could joke, laugh and not guard our words

like soldiers on a hill

(don't slip up)

the Prophets kept speaking

never a moment of silence

for the Nomads to talk

Bill and Ted still had adventures

at the peak of history but

then hit speed bumps of social inequity

The mushroom cloud of student debt

Service McJobs for subzero wages. 

Everyone wanted to be a rock star

Dressed in black with silver chains

The stoic faced goths, punks, grunge and metal heads

went into the kitchen to put the hair net on

and red uniform with plastic nametag

that always made our butts look too big

There were wine coolers in the fridge

and passion below the Joshua Tree

The young used to fly free and talk smack

the tyranny of the old held back

Greetings and Salutations through

a broken radio.

Gen Z seems so obedient

(why didn't they ever rebel)

We ran through fields and woods

dodging each other

They never left the basement or the screen

their pasty skin led

to grey auras popping up like mushrooms.

It was time to flee the god of this world

We were already deemed cynics

by pampered idealists.

Are Fat People Hungrier?

While I do believe that fat has its genetic and endocrine causes, with the food intake thing, while there are thin people filling up their carts with endless sugary and bad food, and I watch someone who weighs 200lbs less then me gobble up a pint of vanilla ice cream every night, I mull over my weight loss failures, and the growling stomach that never leaves me alone. Is it all laziness, low will power or something more? One friend is on that diet, I describe here. The other night she sent me what she is allowed to eat on the 500 calorie diet, it includes raw veggies and strips of meat no bigger then an index finger. With guilt, I ponder the realities, I'd be crawling the walls, and my vision probably would be going in and out by the end of the day.

Lack of willpower, shame, physical hunger, boredom, migraine headaches, stomach pain, almost every fat person in the world knows what the diet is like. My own experiences include severe spells of hypoglycemia, once ironically ending up on floor of a grocery store, after eating carbohydrate free on the Atkin's diet, the bowl of Brussels sprouts for lunch didn't quite do it, and learning that if I went 6 hours without food or certain types of food, my vision would start doing funny things, hands would go numb, panic attacks and total physical melt-downs would be the result. Unlike most fat people I never have succeeded in losing any weight on a diet. Yes I say that as someone that has lost more then what some people weigh. It seems with me, happiness, medical treatment, less stress, better food, activity, and maybe now treating my celiac problems has been the best way of it coming off, rather then playing Russian Roulette with my blood sugar. That said, I'm still far too huge, but am not interested in another starve myself diet, where I get too hungry, fall off, and get filled with self-loathing, guilt and more stress.

But I've come to this theory that fat people have more hunger, whatever physical processes are happening in the body, while I know the average thin person can skip breakfast, eat an apple at lunch and then call it a day getting a decent dinner with minor discomfort, by 11:30 am, I'm bowled over with growling stomach pain, feelings of unwellness, and thoughts of food. Is this addiction or just a body crying out? During the days, before I was diagnosed with diabetes and severe insulin resistance [related to endocrine disorders already discussed], I would try to discuss these problems with doctors, "Doctor I feel unwell when you want me to eat 900 calories a day" but would only get the rolling eyes, with the attitude, that I, the fat person spoke out of irresponsibility, laziness and a desire to stay fat. Have any considered that fat people are hungrier and this is one of the core components of weight loss failure?

This is one of the ignored, suppressed, questions out there. A few scientists dabble in studies regarding satiety and the use of leptin, with the theory that overweight people are resistant to it. But more answers are needed. Even the scientific studies shimmer with the same fat hating, assumptions of chosen gluttony. The endless failures of weight loss are related to this piece of the puzzle definitely.

The Show: Heavy

Last night I watched this new show on A&E called Heavy. The blank faced traumatized looking woman on their ad banner bugs me. I have conflicted emotions about it. The premise of the show is that they take fat people to this spa, where they are taught to exercise, eat right, and given therapy for a month, then they are to go home and continue the program to lose weight. I watched the show that had Jessica who weighted 289 and Ricky who weighed 555 lbs at the start. [and also part of another that show Tom and Jodi.]

Jessica talked about how she couldn't play with her kids nor keep up. In the high 200s, yes people get exhausted. Ricky, admitted he was a food addict and said "There is no off switch with my brain when it comes to food". Definitely some sort of satiety disorder there, those levels of hunger are not normal. Jodi admits having had a stroke giving her the impetus to lose weight. I think her health problems to have had a stroke that young are far more complex then the obesity but wonder if the doctors are looking into it? Tom is seriously overweight with bad lymphedema.

The therapists and trainers did seem to care about their charges. I am not sure how much the psychological affected them. I wanted to know more about Ricky's mother, was she fat too? Was this an inherited problem by any chance? He blamed himself for too much. One could tell he was broken hearted, I do think when he got angry, and yelled, he was just asking for some space, that was not good timing on part of the trainer to approach him just seconds after walking out of therapy, dealing with the death of his mother.

They taught them some good advice, like stay out out of the middle section of grocery store. One can be trained to shop, and it helped me, though it didn't solve all my problems. I do think that healthier food is far harder to come by, for me to maintain a celiac diet and manage my food allergies, grocery shopping is like a military campaign, I can take 45 minutes to write a list of a 100 dollars worth of food items for husband. One thing these programs need to tell people how hard it really is and not hold back, I related to Ricky being overwhelmed in the grocery store, I'm still overwhelmed, so much junk and so much digging to get to the good stuff. Should an apple cost a dollar each? At the smaller store here, they do.

One thing one can tell from this show, the social outcomes of obesity are severe, all the fat people you could tell felt ostracized from society and like they didn't fit in. They all spoke of things they faced in life such as Ricky admitting he can't go out because people laugh at him. Jodi's rather cold husband admitted he was on the verge of leaving her, and she quit singing for a rock band, being embarrassed about her size which I thought was sad, but have felt some of the same emotions. Tom admitted not dating for years and years and seemed to live the typical very lonely severely fat person's life, though in his case his brothers do help him. I didn't get the show's claim that he had not seen a doctor in 15 years, how did he make his living?, he had to be on disability.

We weren't told about what their real diet was while fat, Ricky was shown eating a sandwich, but then that would be the normal diet of thin people around him even if they gave us the gratuitous camera shot of him taking a big bite, music and all. Were all the 6 greasily baked pork chops for him? The three packages of stuffing were a bit much. During the second show [this one with 628lb Tom Arnold and 366lb Jodi], they showed him ordering 6 junior burgers and 3 spicy chicken nuggets and eating them all.

I've addressed this issue on this blog "Are Fat People Hungrier?, how much of this driving hunger comes from a psychological or lack of will power but something awry physiologically in the body?

They didn't go in much detail about what they fed them at the center. I found myself thinking a few mixed greens with a sprinkle of green beans and vinaigrette wasn't much of a lunch. Where was the protein? It would have done nothing to keep my blood sugar going if that's all they got.

Ricky had the leg that was dark red and leaking fluid, by the way when you are at that point, you have an infection, I have been hospitalized for over a week for a leg that looked only half that bad and hadn't broke out leaking. I was literally frightened for him, because blood poisoning via cellulitis is a reality, and I've almost lost my life to it shooting up to 105.5 degree fever. How he managed not to succumb to weakness shocked me, he must have moved into the chronic stage, I am glad his leg looked better by the end of the show. [Mine has improved, I used to have 6-7 infections a year, but only had one so far in the last 14 months]. By the way, they gave a false snippet of information, where they said lymphedema was caused by obesity, thin people get lymphedema from different conditions, where their limbs swell up. Obesity can exacerbate lymphedema but is not its sole cause.

The thing that most disturbed me about the show, was the bootcamp exercise and the tears of frustration, pain and misery. Taking fat people who have barely moved from 0-60 in one day seems dangerous to me! The show was heavily advertised this way, showing us groaning, straining, literally bawling out of pain and distressed fat people. This alarmed me greatly. How did any of these fat people avoid going to the hospital? By the way when someone is throwing up [and I've done it from over-exertion] that means you are about to be in the emergency room. How do the extremely obese ones keep from swelling from congestive heart failure? [Most people above a certain size, retain tons of fluids from the heart not being able to keep up, in fact this more then anything limits the degree of exercise I can do] During the second show Jodi is barfing. Part of me thinks, you know a lot of thin people are just thin, via eating normally and doing a nice job on the treadmill, they aren't puking their guts out, wailing and turning red. One thing Ive said in my case, if I could burn it all off without ending up dead, I would. One seemed to have some type of exercise induced asthma.

I think fat people should exercise, I make myself walk the length of my large apt building everyday [just 18 months ago, I couldn't do this], because I fear losing mobility from being housebound due to cold, and lift cans for weights at least once a day. If I did the level of exercise they showed these fat people doing, the paramedics would have needed called--my physical therapist, had to stop me a few times, and I'm not kidding. Someone could say well maybe they are in better shape then you, with your bad lungs, cardiomyopathy and multiple conditions, but they showed at least one of the fat people with their multitudes of pills. One thing about me, before my severe fast weight gain, as late as 1995, I used to walk for FUN and knew I walked at least 2-3 miles if not more on many occasions.

That said, there is something disturbing about watching people put through the gauntlet so bad, they are crying. Is this the answer to obesity, for trainers to get that whip out, act as drill sargents and literally force the fat to "feel the burn". Aren't fat people punished enough in this life?
It seems all the "solutions entail more suffering" not less. There is a problem with that. Some of them seemed to be risky serious injury. I thought in the fitness community, the misleading "no pain, no gain" ethos had been left behind.

This is something that always bothered me about The Biggest Loser. Is exercise supposed to be life threatening and painful? One thing I pick up on when it comes to the fat, pain and torture seems to be the responses from this society, "let us cut your stomach out, let us make you do so much exercise you start barfing in the bathroom". Something is really wrong with that equation. To be frank, the levels of exercise on this show seem dangerous to me. Why did my physical therapists treat me so differently?

This fitness blogger writes about Jillian Michaels [from a different show], who I think is downright abusive to her charges so I don't watch any show she is on. He brings up the point what good is exercise that brings injury to the obese? I was happy to see some personal trainers on this website that get it. Wish I had money to hire one. At least the show Heavy as far as I have seen, hasn't made anyone run, but it brings up good points.

One thing I noticed too, is a lot of the weight gain in the different parties, seems triggered by stress, [I address that here: "Is Stress Making Everyone Fat?"] such as in the case of Ricky losing his mother and being overwhelmed. Why doesn't anyone ever talk about this facet of weight?

I am glad they lose weight, and seem to do better. The show has inspired me to try and add more exercise in my life though I will have to do things differently. In Ricky's case, his greatest test will be living at home with a family that obviously will not be eating the same diet, Jessica being more moderately obese and the one managing the kitchen, has a greater chance of success. But over all I find myself thinking, are these solutions really going to work? Why doesn't anyone get more to the core root of the hunger problems and the bad food this society is awashed in? Most severely obese people are never going to be able to afford a month in a nice spa with day to day personal trainers. I told someone the other day, they'd be opening gyms with affordable HEALTHY training and physical therapy for fat people all over, and make healthy food more widely available and less expensive if they really wanted to deal with the obesity epidemic.

My other worry about this show, is it promotes the same failed solutions we have seen so far, no I am not against people trying to lose weight or following exercise programs, but isn't this the same stuff that has failed all these years when looking at long term projections? It promotes the majority of the world's belief that if the fat people just got off their lazy duffs, they would be thin. If this was true, Wouldn't all fat people just go join the gym, eat healthy and be done? It makes the viewers think obesity has simple solutions, and that everyone can follow this formula and be a thin person for the rest of their life. I am hoping all the parties succeed, but I've seen other fat people lose for a time, get gung-ho dedicating hours at the gym, but one thing, just a slight let-up on this intense work, and the weight will come back. Have seen it happen time and time again. Does this mean these people are all "lazy failures" or that something else is in operation?

I will have more comments on this show as it continues......

Fat and Malnutritioned: Honey Boo and My Diet When Young

Deep fried Oreos? Those sound gross to me. I feel sorry for this girl, because I think what chance does she have with the average American diet?   Why are they eating cheap macaroni and cheese on a reality show salary? Of course they lost the show when the mother decided to date a child molester. 

There's many thin Americans eating the processed foods too and not getting as fat as Honey-Boo and Boo and her mother. Honey Boo-Boo is basically eating the diet of mal-nutrition that is creating more obesity. Potatoes, and eggs and macaroni and cheese and way too much sugar.  The typical American diet especially for the working class and poorer.

They eat processed foods to the hilt. I get unhappy with my food choices when we are lower on money. Food pantries give you the worse foods too. Some of the worse weeks, I have more intense feelings of hunger. I've seen rich people eat, they have side dishes, salads, pickles, and good breads on the side. Those things are wiped away when you are broke.

Eating frustrates me. I joked the other day, I wish I could go back to college just to have the pantheon of available food in your average dorm cafeteria. I lost 80lbs one year of college without even trying just because I had plenty of good food to eat like an open salad bar at every lunch and dinner. It's hard to describe the type of hunger I get when poor. It's like the body is hunting for food, it doesn't have. There's been times, where I have said "Screw it!", and gone and bought a SALAD with my last five dollars on earth because I have felt so desperately hungry for nutritious food.

I am actually DIAGNOSED with mal-nutrition. It's on my medical records. The doctors think I have some kind of mal-absorption problem but never having had weight loss surgery, my body is anemic--severely low on B-12, and severely low on Vit D and others. I eat vegetables and fruits. I reintroduced eggs back to my diet slowly--still on fence with that, and yesterday vegetables and fruits in the mix included an apple, a soup that had zucchini, pablano peppers, tomatoes and tomatillos in it. Dinner had more of the peppers and tomatoes in it too. So I try to include what fruits and vegetables I can.

Many are not educated on nutrition. I am and constantly frustrated. The good foods always DISAPPEAR FIRST because they are what I want to eat. I hoarded zucchini all week to put in tonight's dinner and a package of frozen spinach. I'm making  ground turkey lasagna with it and putting grated carrot and cottage cheese in the concoction. I casserole things to death to spread the food out.

 My poor diet as a child and later impacted me. It set me up for a lifetime of obesity. My mother controlled the refrigerator with an iron fist, even putting locks on the freezer because my brother loved to steal ice cream. She counted every slice of lunch meat and cheese and crouton in the kitchen. While my mother could cook she was not educated in nutrition.

Ironically as a fat child, I had severe hunger pangs all the time. Examining what I ate for breakfast and lunch for years, so wonder I was not doing well and grew fat.  It was the worse diet ever for a future woman with PCOS and severe insulin resistance. 

Here is what I had to eat everyday literally for YEARS:

Breakfast was two slices of toast with margarine, and a bowl of sugary cereal like Life cereal or Honey Nut Cheerios. I was not allowed to cook an egg, or make a sandwich for breakfast and trust me I tried to ask over and over. This breakfast was worthless for a pre-diabetic teen and actually brought severe hunger pains, by 10:30 in the morning.

Lunch was always a bologna sandwich with mayo and a leaf of lettuce on Italian white bread, the kind with the sesame seeds on the outside. With this came potato chips and three Oreo or Chips Ahoy cookies in small plastic baggies. My GC sister would get gold fish crackers with her lunch but those were "hers" and the rest of us were not allowed to touch them.

During Lent, remember my family was Catholic, the sandwich would be a tuna or egg salad sandwich.

When my mother decided I was too fat, the sandwich would be cut to a half and a few carrot and celery sticks would get thrown in the baggie instead of the three cookies.  Then the hunger really rolled in.

The numbers and amount of the food always stayed exact. I remember being so hungry in high school from the carb rich breakfast, I would eat some of the sandwich on the bus. When I had my own money, I was so tired of the same lunch for years, I would throw it away and buy some hot meal at my high school. Sometimes there would be salad bar. I went to Catholic school with no school cafeteria so outside of an occasional hot dog day, there was no hot lunch or other offerings. In high school, my parents refused to pay for any hot lunches demanding we take food from home, so unless I had my own money I was stuck with the repetitive lunch.

Dinners were better and would be some type of red meat --lots of steaks, roast beef, fried pork chops or chicken and mashed potatoes. There would be glass of milk or diet Pop.  My family would eat spaghetti on occasion with meat sauce and shakes of parm cheese out of the green can. Rice a Roni would pop up from time to time. We would have turkey and ham on holidays and home made deep dish pizza with Italian sausage, green peppers, onions and mushrooms every Saturday night.  Sunday morning she would make breakfasts with scrambled eggs, hashbrowns, Bob Evan sausages, bacon and those orange frosted cinnamon rolls out of a can. The vegetables were usually green beans or corn out of a can. In high school my mother's cooking talents expanded so at times I would get these fancy party salads of a taco salad with sour cream and , and a layered salad with bacon and cheese and peas every once in a while. She would make chocolate including almond bark and tons of chocolate sheet cakes during various holidays. Much of the cooking was done for company and not us.  It was a high carb, high meat, high fat, high sugar diet.

As a cook at dinners,  she was very good at it. So a lot of the food would be tasty at dinner time but it definitely was not the best for my body. The daily grind of cereal and bologna sandwiches did me no favors either. When I was away at college I would eat more soup,  salad, and hard boiled eggs. This was my best time of eating in my whole life. Even at the sandwich bar, I would pile on the veggies like an early version of Subway. My time in college was the time of my lowest adult weight. I never went to totally normal was down in the lower 200s for a time at nearly 6 feet of height. I had no inkling of what would happen to me later but knew then, I grew more tired and swollen from walking for miles--I had no car, then my friends did. I loved to walk for years and even as late as 1994-1995, could walk for a few miles and think nothing of it, before the weight took over.

When I got poor in my twenties, and had no money for groceries, my diet hit a rock bottom for years. Ironically during my weight gain of 400lbs I had the least money for food. My diet was ramen noodles, commandeered school lunches while substitute teaching in child portions, often some mystery meat buried under gravy and some limp peas or white meat chicken nuggets. It also included some eggs, and cheap pasta. I bought food at a discount store, and did not know how to cook. One dinner I remember getting is paying 2 dollars for these cheap fried Chicken wings at a Chinese restaurant about a block from my house apartment and paying 50 cents for a little carton of rice to go with it. My diet worsened when I moved to Chicago. My job had long long hours and I remember eating only once a day on many days or twice, and literally having to scrounge. We were allowed to eat some food at the group home, but it was low quality cheap food. There were no salads or vegetables. Just fried chicken, sausages, bacon and rice, turkey ham and fried egg sandwiches and more sugary cereal. I don't know how some of those girls managed to stay thin on that food. Later on the way to disability came dumpster diving. I remember days of eating nothing but a package of cheap ramen noodles and some green onions, I had managed to save. How sad.

 Money was so extremely tight. Sometimes I would get a decent meal out once in a while, a salad or a stir fry like on Payday, but the rest of the time it was grind of cheap carbs. Working stoves were rare in the slums and for two years I had to eat whatever could be made in a microwave or on a hot plate. Let's just say that is not the healthiest food.

I look at Honey-Boo Boo's diet and know that is the mal-nutrition diet many poor people in America are getting fatter on. What chance does she have? You know they pour endless chemicals into the food. My diet now frustrates me. I fear weight gain because of the money being low. Its far better then it was years ago though. My eating has to be so controlled even for the sake of the diabetes. There's too many cheap turkey bologna sandwiches and cottage cheese even now. I would rather have more salad and hot cooked vegetables. There is a lot of soup made in this house. I do what I can.

This is the unspoken reality of obesity in America. Cheap food makes you fat. Lack of nutrition makes you fat. Some act like changing the diet is so easy, but there is a real financial edge to all this, like it or not.

He's Right About the Class Warfare but Gets Covid Wrong

 The Great Covid Class War

"Today millions of Americans have fallen into poverty or are on the verge of destitution. Stimulus money has largely been used as a handout to corporations, and over 160,000 small businesses have closed. In March and April 30 million Americans filed for unemployment. Now temporary job losses are becoming permanent. 12 million unemployed people may see their benefits lapse even if Congress passes a new aid deal. Homelessness is spiking, 11.4 million households owe $70 billion in back rent and fees, and 40 million people are at risk of eviction. In some states, food bank lines stretch for miles, and 1 in 4 children are expected to experience food insecurity. 

Meanwhile, Walmart and Target reported record sales. Amazon tripled its profits and Jeff Bezos made $70 billion. Billionaires have collectively made over $1 trillion since March. Alphabet, Amazon, Apple, Facebook, and Microsoft now make up 20% of the stock market’s total worth. The tech industry has achieved an unparalleled level of wealth and dominance. Data, which has been more valuable than oil since 2017, is expected to expand its economic footprint.

“This is not an unforced error or a good policy idea implemented poorly. It is an economic agenda disguised as a health protocol.”

Unemployment, hunger, institutional breakdown, and the destruction of social bonds are not symptoms of a virus. They are the indirect violence of class warfare. The pandemic is a convenient scapegoat for the largest upward wealth transfer in modern human history. Under the pretext of a public health policy, elites have successfully waged a counterrevolution that will result in the erosion of working conditions and quality of life for generations to come. "

I sometimes go to read the "opposite" side of things, and was hanging around Reddit, and saw this article. I DO NOT agree with them being against Lock Downs.  I think the author is ABSURD when he claims that people were being doomsday for the virus to necessitate lockdowns. My own state had the hospitals getting overwhelmed, but the governor shut down the restaurants and other places and numbers of cases were reduced. I know a nurse personally via my UU church, she disappeared once Covid broke, but I heard enough through the grapevine to know Covid is an absolute shit-show. 

 All I know is so many people have gotten it that I know, it's definitely real and serious. One did almost die in the ER. I have several medical appointments coming up and talked over with my friends if it is safe enough to go. 

I cracked dark jokes to my husband, that Amazon was going to take over, because even someone like me who only used Amazon three times in 6 years, was now having to use it all the time to buy non-food items. I know for those who believe that the elite "plan" anything, that we may have the taint of being affected by conspiracy thinking, but I think about the class issues too and how the Covid epidemic is going to be used to make society more totalitarian. The mantras of social distancing and the rest, bothered me from the start.

And they are right, the middle and upper classes made sour dough bread at home maybe in between some homeschooling, while the lower classes were all forced out to their low paid "essential jobs" to work with the public and be at risk everyday. Someone pointed out this was one reason, some facets of the population were not taking the lockdowns seriously, because after all if they were forced to go to work why would they take them seriously? My own household was in a strange place where we could mimick the "at home" life of the upper classes due to husband's gig employment, but he lost work too. How long will unemployment last? In our case, we can keep the rent paid, due to my disability but I'm not exactly looking down a hallway either of economic security.

The destruction of small business concerns me, in my state at least a third of small businesses have closed their doors forever. We will have nothing but corporate businesses and conglomerations left. Unless Biden does a UBI, or something changes, we are looking at millions of homeless people. The working class isn't going to suddenly come up with 5-10,000 dollars to pay months of back rent. From what I can tell, the money-masters and upper classes don't care, you either pay or you are out. Some of my bills have even increased during all this. 

This consolidates power in some very unseemly ways. What's scary is people like this author blame the "lockdowns" instead of looking at the fact the virus is out of the bag and doing REAL damage. I worry about alt-right garbage being promoted under the guise of caring about the working class. Something seems weird with that website.

Are we being betrayed for economic and other agendas? I don't know. Some really awful stuff is going on. I ask myself why a real short term lock-down was never done to end this fiasco once and for all, and stop the virus from spreading.  The antimaskers and others have been the usual pawns to spread death and destruction. How can anyone believe it is "just a cold" anymore when I personally know so many people who have gotten sick or even of people who died--at least 7 friends have an immediate or other family member who died, and some of these people were YOUNG.

 Someone posted this on reddit, and I found myself wondering about this too....

"I will go to my grave believing that the US "COVID response" was at least partially an intentional project of the ruling class to liquidate less productive/vulnerable people. Spending on Social Security and Medicare has long been a target for the oligarchy, but has always been somewhat untouchable.

In the short term, doing a proper lockdown with significant aid to keep people home probably would have been better for "the economy" (corporations and billionaires) by averting the present catastrophe.

How can we explain the seemingly irrational decisions of our very self-interested, calculating oligarchs? Either they are simply incompetent and cruel (certainly true, to an extent), or there's another economic rationale at play.

The 1 in 1,000 Americans who have died so far were, in general, older, more likely to be working class/poor, more likely to be from marginalized racial/ethnic groups, and many had other medical conditions. Their needs were deliberately ignored during a global pandemic, and they died. Never forget."

The Social Engineering of Covid19

What's In Everyone's Refrigerators?

A Look Inside People's Refrigerators

It interesting to look at what do normal people EAT? And seeing inside refrigerators is one way to do it. I showed the inside of my refrigerator a few times to my home medical professionals. Wonder what they thought of that, but I wanted to show that the cupboards and rest were not full of snacks and the refrigerator full of mountains of cake or fried foods.

What's in my refrigerator now? Let's go look I probably can do an inventory off the top of my head, its a tight week, but let's see some Falafel mix, Almond Milk, 2 left over stuffed peppers made with turkey and rice, 2 apples, some green onions, ketchup, a broccoli head, celery, a few lemons, a bag of black organic grapes, a jar of Veganaise, some sliced turkey lunchmeat, a few Roma tomatoes, Earth Balance-fake butter, Japanese seaweed sprinkles with mustard and pumpkin, I threw my Zatar seasoning box in the fridge, though it probably doesn't need refrigerated, ground turkey--it was a large pack and I only used some of yesterdays for the stuffed peppers, a couple cabbage sections, some carrots, 3-4 Asian Oriental sauces--soy sauce, stir fry sauce--mushroom flavored, and right now that is about it. There was some leftover Daiya cheese in there yesterday but I dropped it on the floor, and had to throw it away.

I've talked about being food insecure before and well we just came off a week low on money for groceries and the stuffed green peppers I made because they had a deal on green peppers and I am supposed to go grocery shopping tommorow. I ate all my Sea Snax. They supposedly are opening a food-co-op in my town and I want to join it and have contacted the people concerned already but hoping it will be affordable and not only for the wealthy.

This frig makes my stomach hurt all that take out...Yes I have noticed a correlation between digestive troubles and eating out and have three SAFE restaurants I frequent on rare occasion but I really only can afford to eat out once or twice a month.  Don't eat out that much, you will be in big trouble!

This looks like a healthy person's fridge, though I probably buy more produce then that, though add more meat when I have a lot of money for food and forget the eggs. 

This article reminded me of when they took pictures of everything people ate in foreign countries for a week...Hey notice these rather very thin Italians seem to eat a lot of carbohydrates and bread?

Here's an American photo. Notice these people are pretty close to average weight, but they have very high calorie food in this picture and quite a bit of it.. I question the whole premise of thin people all sitting around sipping green tea and eating only an apple a day or whatever the diet industry expects me to believe.

Say Yes to the Dress: Big Bliss

Say Yes to the Dress, is the TLC program, that shows a large wedding dress shop, where they have made a show out of women selecting their wedding dresses. Well last night, they did their new plus size version.

Some things I noticed:

1. Most of these women were in the 20-26 size range, why couldn't the dresses have been made to actually fit them? Most could not zip their dresses up. Here the dress manufacturers need to actually make the dresses for the real sizes. The majority of the women were apple shaped vs. pear shaped. Any woman with bigger hips would have been even worse off.

2. The staff was very nice and accommodating, of course I found the constant tears and deflated egos, a bit off putting. The thin women cry too out of loving their wedding dress, but what is about TV that always shows fat women bawling their eyes out every two seconds about how horrible and overweight they are?

3. One woman with the square black glasses, had a very over-affected personality, such as if someone was writing a play and wanted to script in, a "tough as nails" outspoken fat "diva".

4. The dresses looked like they just fattened up "thin" women's dresses, I mean for goodness sakes, designing a dress that is "tight" around the stomach area? What fat woman would look good in that? They were far too tailored, and tight, and not enough give. Is this to save money on fabric?

5. I had my wedding dress custom made. Not everyone can afford this or manage that {I sold art to finance it}, but I never got to try on wedding dresses when I was married, I was so far out of the normal sizes, I did design my own dress and got someone to sew it. It had a higher "empire" waist with a full skirt.

6. Watching the ladies choose which dress is always interesting, as well as the reaction of the friends and family.

My Digestion System Has Checked Out

Normal people lose weight with Crohn's, colitis or whatever has affected me. Not me. Today I can eat OK. Other days, this isn't so true. The very idea of food brings nothing but heartache. It is scary when projectile vomiting and intense abdominal pain is pre-diagnosed as a "spastic colon/mucous colitis" but could be possible Crohn's. I have to consider a colonoscopy, but am holding off for now. As people know my trust of the medical world and it's procedures is not the highest, I find myself thinking will being this overweight put me at greater risk, where they could puncture a bowel unused to a patient of my size? I may try all holistic health endeavors first. I am in shock I haven't lost weight, from puking up at least 2 days worth of food a week, and having my appetite diminished. By the way dry heaves are very unpleasant.

The intermittent attacks make no sense either, I find myself flipping through the Merck Manual to figure out what the problem is. Bentyl works and kills all the pain, so the gallbladder via that and a scan is ruled out. Could it be stress derived? Going from normal some days [today is a normal day and I've eaten a normal breakfast and lunch], to throwing up even water and pills is scary. Every meal is a science project, will this make me sick? Will I be able to handle a dry sirloin roast beef sandwich? Is this ground turkey too greasy? Even apple sauce made me hurl the other day.

I'm running a 3/7 ratio on sick vs. well days. All spicy stuff, dairy, oils, MSG has been removed from the diet as much as possible. I've noticed when I eat organic food I feel better when I can afford it. What scares me is doctors probably will not believe what I eat AGAIN, which in this case could endanger my life once more.

I'm having other symptoms too, extreme fatigue, and my mind feels like pudding on the day before and after the attacks. The abdominal pain is like a horse kicking me in the middle. Thank God relief comes with pills and time. I try to enjoy the days, I feel half way normal on. Today is one. I need to find out what is going on.

By the way, I had these attacks sort of like this about 12 years ago without the vomiting and for a far shorter time, I stopped them, figuring out by trial and error, I was allergic to eggs and removing all eggs from the diet. This is why I had to remove dairy too acouple years ago. Sometimes medically one has to solve their own problems but this one may be moving beyond me.

The Different Quality of Organic Food

It is something I've been pondering. I have been spending a lot of money on food, and well, the digestion issues FORCED this change. When you can't eat MSG that wipes about 85% of the processed food off the shelf. I thought I was dying of cancer my digestion got so bad, but that dropped kicked down 80% of the bowel attacks, I was having. How many people are still suffering not knowing how toxins can come through food? I had sat down and thought it out, that things were just like when I ate dairy or eggs or other things I am allergic to and thought "THERE IS A NEW ALLERGEN" what is it?

What added to this is eating more ORGANIC food and I have noticed something, the quality is DIFFERENT to the food, it tastes better. I know I am not imaging it. I have been eating these organic apples lately, apples are very healing and I noticed when I ate one of these a day, my digestion behaved itself. Even the TEXTURE of the apple was different, I do not even know how to explain it. It tasted far better. I do not miss the shellac or whatever it is, they coat the regular apples with too. Even the skin was different.

Family as a Sacred Cow

 
I hate the word FAMILY.  Like Henry Rollins, rages about his Dad in his NSFW spoken word act of the 1980s, Family Man,  I spit out the word "Family" like it's a cuss word. It's not a positive thing to me, just read this blog. Even at my UU church, which means well in it's celebration of both mother's and father's day, I stay home. Family is like a religion in itself.

Many of us figured out religion is a sacred cow and we left it. I think the same about family. Not all families are bad, and maybe some have their own happy families but in this society, family is raised on a pedestal, and made to be something it often is not for many people. We are told Mom, Dad and apple pie, and that every home is a loving safe haven. Every church I went to or visited promoted "THE FAMILY TM", as the most important thing, which is ironic given the leader they claim to follow never had a family of his own and seemed be at least low contact with his family of origin.

Family is like a religion almost, where we are given these idealistic pictures that simply don't hold up. My own family history was abysmal, I am no contact from almost the whole lot, religion played a role when I left my family's church at age 17. Going full no contact was a very positive decision for me. I have no regrets. According to the mythos of society, I have broken every rule in "going against family".

Like religion with it's false promises, we are told a "story" about family that does not measure up. I wonder myself why DNA seems to in many cases bring no cooperation or love or understanding between people.Why does it work for some and not others? Such a thing is a mystery to me. DNA seems to bring out cohesion among some people and hatred among others.

The family often is not a crucible of love but one of danger with domestic abuse, child abuse, divorce, martial rape, scapegoating, and crimes of violence. If anything while some bad families are shown in literature, mostly family is romanticized. Father is all knowing, kind and wise, Mother is strong but nurturing and gentle, ready to bring you biscuits and a warm blanket if poor, or ready to bring you some tea and nursing care in a bed with clean white sheets, if wealthier. The Dads on the Brady Bunch, Father Knows Best, Family Ties, always sat down and discussed things openly with their kids and worked things out.  Siblings are shown as having each others backs, and as support for each other through out their adult lives. While some people win the family Lotto, and get great people in their lives they happen to be related to, many do not. Family dysfunction and danger are the reality for many.


Family systems are often part of the control system as much as religion and the majority are run on authoritarianism. "Family" is defined in a certain way too, which ostracizes LGBTQ people, the single, and the childless. Families are utilized for social control, focusing on conformity, and compliance with social norms. In Western culture especially American culture, children are pitted against parents and vice versa. Some even say it is wrong for a parent to be a friend with a child. Why? I could have used a couple friends instead of living with two "enemies". While some cultures focus on cooperation and learning as prime directives between parents and children, this one focused on "helicopter parents", "discipline" and "obedience". Guess which cultures probably have happier relationships between family members.  Also look at the competition of our society, our families have become competition clubs where the "winners" look down at the "losers". Is the family a cell in the matrix of control with religion as an overriding control mechanism?

One thing every ACON that goes no contact has to do is ACCEPT THE REALITY you have been given. One has to rip the rose colored glasses off their face and take a look at what you got. You may dream of Hallmark moments, reconciliation or redemption as show on television but if you are dealing with narcissists it's never going to happen. The myths, messages and lies about our family in this society is something every ACON who wants healing has to contest. Not every parent is loving, not every sibling cares. Some of us end up with roulette spin of bad people who care nothing about us.

It can be hard even for a post no contact ACON, to see how family is constantly shoved down our throats, one of the worse is that it is assumed that everyone has one. This is kind of damaging in an era where there are more single and childless people then ever before. Some people are exploring the ideas of found families, friends you turn into your family because DNA has been proven to be limited in it's ability to bring forth compatible personalities and peaceful relationships. Perhaps family is just a social construct. We know that human beings weren't just limited to nuclear families but once had fuller social circles in tribes. Definitely among the religious right, the change in the definition of traditional families is giving them fits.

With my husband I have told him maybe mankind needs to evolve beyond families. it is a biological prison. We don't have children in our case-- He laughs, we can have these interesting off the wall conversations and says, "What do you want people living in communes with numbered uniforms?" and I joke and say "Yeah that would have been better!"

Family is Overrated

Fat People are Hard to Kidnap!

A Peep from 2002, front page of comic dairy sketchbook. 

I'm going to share some writing here, the stuff I may try to publish will remain private for now.  I wrote this recently for my writer's group. 

Fat People Are Hard to Kidnap!

They won’t be able to lift me up, I’m too heavy!

 Fat, plump, big boned, fluffy, corpulent, fatso, huge, supersized, infinity-sized.

  You are your own planet with billowing tons of flesh pouring out of its cup to claim you against your will.

 Fat people are impossible to pick up. 

 Calories in and out supposedly control it all but bodies don’t run like cars no matter what the Weight Watchers point system says.

 Why doesn’t the diet magic happen for us all among all the diminishing nearly thin people. No one believes you used to weigh 200lbs more.

 Stephen King called huge people monstrous. The Witch who said Fatter instead of Thinner unloaded her curse with a bony finger. A puff of smoke and 30lbs a month poured in.  The deliverance minister said Satan sent you your body. Your soft arms hug your husband tight, why is round always bad?

The doctors want to experiment, cut, slice dice and throw your stomach away even though food tastes like cardboard and you haven’t eaten a fish, a potato or a hamburger in more than 10 years. You refused Phen-Fen not wanting to be a lab rat, the acupuncture failed too.  Tell the 90lb medical student who graduated last in the class, it’s L. I. P. E. D. E. M. A. not Lymphedema though that comes to the party too. Their blank eyed stare condemns you with visions of those inhaling whole pizzas on My 600lb Life.

A body full of oceans operates different. Who grows old at this size? Make sure you prove them wrong. 

 

 Metabolism a word they forgot long ago.  Lumbering side to side every movement seems to take 20 thoughts but you’re “lazy” not to move more.

Fat is always 57 even when you’re 29!

   

Shave your “beautiful” face that very old women always praised in your youth asking why don’t you force your body to match it?

 The fat boy in Matilda hated that chocolate cake and Mrs. Trunchbull was 50lbs away from putting the shot putt away for good.

  Augustus Gloop wants revenge for chemical farming GMOs and high fructose corn syrup. Factory Farms and Glyphosate sends his blood pressure soaring. Willy Wonky was a skinny penny pinching crack dealer and coke head preaching abstinence at the factory. There's no real gardens among the sickly sweet lollipops.

 National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance or N.A.A.F.A. showed the way out of diet hell but Health at Any Size ignored the obvious. Supersized People don’t run marathons. No one asked why so many grew so fat no matter what they did. They ate bacon and eggs in the 50s, and lived life, their bodies not betraying. 

 Eyes cross from hunger, lunch is 4 hours away.

 Thin Jane in tight yoga pants ate her apple that morning she feels fine, intermittent fasting brings her self pride. It brings you the floor and funny colors in your vision. You drink the glass of water to smother hunger pain but it never works.

You eat lunch they desire you feel guilt with every bite. Boiled cabbage and eat tofu but look like you did other things. 

A rare fat foodie rejecting GMOs, you desire the wild sour dough bread and the seitan made with parsnips. Jars of wheat germ, hummus, and mushrooms of every sort populate your food imagination. The clown with red shoes brings disgust.

Wear your ruby lips and poufy hair to ring your wide round face, short heeled shoes and be vivacious or else.

 Whitney Thores dancing as fast as she can. Chris Farley fell through the jolly trap. He didn’t want to be the class comedian anymore. There’s too many fat people to give the acting job to one in a fat suit!

 Wear hot pink like fat activist Marilyn Wann, screaming fat is healthy when you want to wear black, and walk for miles instead. No one chooses this. 

 A thin woman in Japan on Youtube eats crisps, fried chicken, curries, burdock root, udon noodles, bonito flakes, tofu, a sweet every afternoon with milk tea, and never gains weight. Obesity is a disease of lack not abundance. America grows fatter year by year while starving for real food.

 

The Roulette wheel broke in the matrix and spun onto circus fat lady. Thin women in slacks with legs crossed drink coffee nimbly eating a piece of pie. The spigot filled up the lower body like a giant balloon ready to burst.

Peter Griffin goes on many adventures, but fat people don’t fit in kayaks.

 You can’t stop living for thin tomorrows knowing the fat reality is what you have.

Whose bright idea was it to swell humans up so it would be hard for them to walk? Does God listen to the prayers of fat women? Preacher told the church on the day you missed the revival, Gluttons don’t see heaven, they’ll be burning with the adulterers. That huge woman has the door of heaven closed for good! There's no barbecue in hell!.

Everyone loves a jolly fat woman arms brimming with cakes and children and Mother Earth nurturing, not a childless serious poet who wanted a body to match her art and books. A hyperlexia brain in a cumbersome box. The Gnostics were right to see the body as a prison, spirit imprisoned in flesh.

 

Stand Against Monsanto!

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GMO and Monsanto, I've posted a lot about them on this blog and warned against them. The world protested GMOS and it was left out of most USA news except the alternative news sources. Our food is being changed drastically, even the New York Times admitted that nutrition is dropping in food!

 Breeding the Nutrition Out of Our Food!

This health directive needs to be revised. If we want to get maximum health benefits from fruits and vegetables, we must choose the right varieties. Studies published within the past 15 years show that much of our produce is relatively low in phytonutrients, which are the compounds with the potential to reduce the risk of four of our modern scourges: cancer, cardiovascular disease, diabetes and dementia. The loss of these beneficial nutrients did not begin 50 or 100 years ago, as many assume. Unwittingly, we have been stripping phytonutrients from our diet since we stopped foraging for wild plants some 10,000 years ago and became farmers. 

These insights have been made possible by new technology that has allowed researchers to compare the phytonutrient content of wild plants with the produce in our supermarkets. The results are startling. 

Wild dandelions, once a springtime treat for Native Americans, have seven times more phytonutrients than spinach, which we consider a “superfood.” A purple potato native to Peru has 28 times more cancer-fighting anthocyanins than common russet potatoes. One species of apple has a staggering 100 times more phytonutrients than the Golden Delicious displayed in our supermarkets.

There is a total war against our food, control via the global elites, at least some are awake and know this is happening. I would have gone to a local protest but do protest Monsanto via other avenues including on a
social website. I try to inform who I can.