Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Please Pray For Me: Medical Appointment

Today I find out if the kidney lesion is anything worse, then a kidney cyst. Hopefully that is all it is. This is not my first cancer or "you are going to die" scare!

 If I have cancer, I don't believe in chemo--it would be guaranteed to take my little of smidgen of hearing away. Maybe I'll just drink some sour sop tea and hope for the best. Don't take this unless you have cancer and even then investigate it, there are side effects that can be serious. The white coats scare me, hospitals and near death has given me too much PTSD. It's good I get the house call doctors, I feel more safe at home. It seems every spring and fall, when the weather is good outside enough for me to breathe, I am tortured by seeing "the specialists" such as the kidney doctor I'm supposed to see today. I already consider it the bad new's office with the slew of giant kidney stones trying to take me over.

 There is a point where you think, "I have suffered enough". I would skip the appointment because I think it would better not to know if I do have tumors growing inside me.  What will I do about it? My husband is upset and wants me to go and "not give up". He won't hear of me skipping this appointment. I feel bad telling him I feel like I am losing now when it comes to the health. He literally talked me into going. This is the doctor that deals with my kidney stones so it's not like I can ignore this doctor forever.

 If I can't even get an MRI done properly, radiation and other tables aren't going to fit. Hopefully I am worried for nothing. Usually people with autoimmune disorders up the whazoo don't get cancer.


  1. I don't know how much weight god gives prayers from a guy like me but you got'em. I am waiting on news for tests done yesterday. There is nothing new going on just updating my annual forecast for imminent death. But I still twitch when the phone rings.

  2. Thanks Q, I appreciate it. I'm praying for you with your scary test results too. Yes I've already had the death forecasts too as you know. So wonder the phone gives me nerves as well.

  3. I'm thinking of you and sending positive thoughts to both of you.

  4. Oh the suspense, I will pray that this appointment will go very quickly unless if he has good news to tell you. No long answers or beating around the bush. He needs to be straightforward and quick!

  5. Ok, I'm praying. I feel for your husband in a situation. I'm pretty sure know how much this has got to be triggering. I pray for strength for you two to get through this too.

  6. Hi Peep. I'll be thinking of you, and worrying, but looking for you to report back on how things go today; of course, hoping these images will eventually reveal NO cancer! If they get good pictures today, that'll be a small relief at least. I'm so glad you have Mr. Peep helping you navigate "the system" when your own strength and resolve falls short. I know you know, thoughtful and caring people naturally won't want you to give up. (I think if your on-line friends could in any way lend a hand, they'd be there in two shakes.) Get through today, Peep; we'll be here when you get back. -- Lora

  7. Thanks everyone for your prayers and kind words. Here is my update, the lesion is still there, but it did NOT grow and no new ones were seen. They think I *could* have another kidney stone too but the Uri-crit will melt that with enough time. They know want me due to the MRI limitations to now attempt a CT scan without contrast since the ultra-sounds are limited.. I'm allergic to contrast.They tell me they want to make sure it is not cancer or something else still even months later but it is a good sign it did not grow. They told me I am spilling sugar in the urine which probably is going to happen at the 190-200 blood sugar range I've been in this week. I'll discuss that nurse more when I see her. http://fivehundredpoundpeeps.blogspot.com/search?q=failed+MRI

    With CT I did have one, it's not easy but it is easier to prop up the head. I told them I can't promise I will find one that will fit.

    I am relieved the lesion did not grow....Mr. Peep did help me quite a bit and was comforting. He knows so much of life is committed to medical stuff. My nurse called to increase my insulin by 5 units to 25 twice a day, they are taking me up slowly.

  8. I want to thank you all for being there for me and your support, it means a lot. :)

  9. Thank God it didn't grow. I'll be praying for the rest of the stuff, and strength to get through it.

    1. Thank you Joan. I was definitely relieved, thanks for the prayer for strength.