Tuesday, May 12, 2015
Please Pray For Me: Medical Appointment
Today I find out if the kidney lesion is anything worse, then a kidney cyst. Hopefully that is all it is. This is not my first cancer or "you are going to die" scare!
If I have cancer, I don't believe in chemo--it would be guaranteed to take my little of smidgen of hearing away. Maybe I'll just drink some sour sop tea and hope for the best. Don't take this unless you have cancer and even then investigate it, there are side effects that can be serious. The white coats scare me, hospitals and near death has given me too much PTSD. It's good I get the house call doctors, I feel more safe at home. It seems every spring and fall, when the weather is good outside enough for me to breathe, I am tortured by seeing "the specialists" such as the kidney doctor I'm supposed to see today. I already consider it the bad new's office with the slew of giant kidney stones trying to take me over.
There is a point where you think, "I have suffered enough". I would skip the appointment because I think it would better not to know if I do have tumors growing inside me. What will I do about it? My husband is upset and wants me to go and "not give up". He won't hear of me skipping this appointment. I feel bad telling him I feel like I am losing now when it comes to the health. He literally talked me into going. This is the doctor that deals with my kidney stones so it's not like I can ignore this doctor forever.
If I can't even get an MRI done properly, radiation and other tables aren't going to fit. Hopefully I am worried for nothing. Usually people with autoimmune disorders up the whazoo don't get cancer.