Walk in My Shoes!
“You don’t live in my body. You don’t experience the struggles and wounds it carries. You don’t wake up every day with my thoughts and you don’t go to bed every night with my demons. You don’t know the burdens they impose or the distress and weight of the feelings they generate. As someone who is not me, you know very little about what it’s like to experience my reality — so you don’t get to dictate what should and shouldn’t be difficult for me. You don’t get to determine my needs and capabilities, and you sure as hell don’t get to decide the validity of my boundaries and self-care. I am the expert of my life. If I struggle with something, then I struggle with it. My experience isn’t right or wrong. It just is, and it’s mine — a fact that that makes my struggles real and true and valid. Your abilities and opinions are irrelevant in regards to my own. There is nothing wrong with me. I’m not weak or inadequate for struggling with things you don’t personally find challenging. And I’m no longer going to compromise myself to accommodate your narrow perception of human experiences. I know who I am and what I’m capable of. I know my limits and needs. And I know that I deserve better than someone who tries to convince me to abandon the things I need to take care of myself."~Daniell Koepke of Internal Acceptance Movement
We live in such a judgmental society, it seems to never end. People are told who to be, what to think, how to do things and often the expectations are impossible or do not fit our circumstances whatsoever. I tell myself, "I'll be who I am irregardless". Some people want you to sell out to the system like they have.
Another thing Mulderfan was fond of saying about people who want us to hide our past is that they think we complain because we didn't get a pony for our birthdays. Which we didn't, but it is so much deeper than being denied a perky present. We are denied the things actors and musicians raise money to provide for kids in third world nations. I didn't go to a dentist or doctor until I was 18 and paid for it myself. But you can bet my mother bought a new Cadillac every year. Just because the adults tool in style doesn't mean it trickles down to the kids.
ReplyDeleteYeah they think we are whining and making things up. it goes far deeper. It's fearing beatings, it's spending your adult hood being destroyed because you didn't get away. The only time I saw a doctor is when my sister was going to the same creep who was HER doctor, and when I need clearance to work at a camp at around age 18 [home for summer and not using campus doctors] One or two teeth cleanings that's it. Yes our house never lacked for knickknacks like yours had the Cadillac.
DeleteI'm tired of people putting me down. Sheesh they'll use anything, "You're not happy enough!" My "utter joylessness" may spring from dealing with dead inside scum way too often.
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