I have heard all of them. Disabled people will be told too, "You need to volunteer or you need to make yourself useful" and others will also demand that you be an "inspiration" to others and always bear your health problems with endless bravery and smiles. That can be a giant burden the disabled or otherwise chronically ill bear. We were not put on earth to serve as other's narcissistic supply. We are people in our own right with the right to have the best lives we can muster.
I've had some give me the fantasy scenarios, "you don't have to be on disability" as if the world will line up to pay someone for reading books in bed, or my next painting will sell for a million bucks. This is judgment disabled people do not need.
This is the kind of stuff where it'd be better if they just kept their mouths shut! JADE can apply to physical disabilities as well. When sick and disabled, we need to find empathetic people in our lives who love and care about us. Being a disabled ACON, there is freedom even health wise, knowing the days of trying to impress and trying to make up for being disabled in the first place are now over with.
Never in a million years did think I would be sick enough for disability. Yet here I am. I didn't plan for it. No body does. People like that inspire me to lose my lunch.
ReplyDeleteMe either. I was left unprepared for being disabled by age 28 and didn't expect to be this old and have some things worsen like they have. No one plans on it or choses it. The be positive and bootstraps crowd torture the disabled like no others.
DeleteOur society supports this, and its sick.
ReplyDeleteIt is. Some of this garbage is worse then dealing with the illness itself. As I come out of narc-land the feeling like I have to excuse myself for existing will be done with.
Delete