Monday, June 6, 2016
The Smart Narcissists Keep Them Fooled
Wow on this video. As I have written my mother would win the advanced narcissism/sociopathy award. She is very good at being a narcissist. There's no decompensation or screw-ups. She developed a team of people she was very nice to who would always believe her. We have to know with narcissists many will treat some people they use as tools very nicely, they will not see the same person. Some narcissists are far higher functioning then others and do not get caught. Their evil is not seen by others. As this video states they have most people fooled and some are able to fool many people for a lifetime.
"Many victims want others to see what you see"
"The victims want others to run away from this evil person right along with you and tell you that you are right and you are wrong, it's this thinking that can keep you around for more and more abuse because you are unwilling to cut the ties because only if they can see what she is doing to me. This type of thinking, trust me, it's not going to happen."
This video is an important one in telling us to trust our guts, when dealing with narcissists who treat others very nicely and us badly. This is not done because they care about these people or anything but it is part of being a "lying manipulative abuser", they need to keep some people happy and on "their team". I stayed in the game way too long wanting others "to see what she is doing to me".
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Whoever did this, its amazing. To come from such a connected place. I think its remarkable to have done it this way, and still remain real, connected, and its points that we have all have had to live with. My mother was not what I would call the most advanced sociopath, but she could run with it, and in most instances would get away with it by sheer nastiness. Even to this day people get accused of fighting with mother, and that is only when you disagreed with her on something, still she would have supporters.
ReplyDeleteI do trust my gut instincts. I can tell who they are right away it seems. I don't need a red flag, just the pins and needles. As soon as I feel like I have to be careful around someone I know I am dealing with a narc. But I always break the narc rules and I get targeted or raged at, I get the narc having me pinned into a corner.
At a job I was at years ago, before I even knew what narcissism was, there was a "nice" fellow who I worked with. Now everyone loved him, held him in high regard, but he hated me, called me all kinds of names, I was told that I bring out the worst in people. I don't even get to hide from narcs it seems they always find me.
I agree that it is impossible to find support from others. And we have to do it alone, for then that is the only way to escape abuse.
I agree, it is a good video. I want to check out some of his others. It's true to go through that and remain connected. Yes some ride on the nastiness while others are advanced sociopaths. My mother is one of the "best" and that is scary. Never showing vulnerability EVER.
DeleteYes I need to listen to my inner feelings too. If I feel bad or have that worry in my head they are screwing me over, every time I poohed that thought and thought, "oh I am being paranoid" I got screwed. Yeah we have seen the ones everyone else LOVES but they treat US bad. Most of the narcs are some of the most "loved" people I have dealt with. It's true we have to do it alone. The loneliness element of it is not easy but what other choice is there?
I just watched it again, I hope everyone is watching it, he is an ACON. I didn't realize that, I thought it was a textbook thing, and I couldn't figure out how he was connecting so well.
DeleteHe gives so much validation for me because he says that the narcissist only looks like they are treating everyone else so well. But they don't like anyone. My whole life, I felt so bad for not being able to get along with people, this really helps. For I have never been inside that circle, never. Although I wished it, it never would happen. I had a few nfriends who I told this to, and they would only say that I was a bad person, for I have never been inside the circle. They say that since I was the only one that complained then it must be me. And to me that made sense.
Sometimes we tend to value having friends more that we do our old feelings about what is going on. That's not a bad thing, I think if you just gave a little more value to your feelings more, it would help. Not to say that in a bad way, I know its horrible to feel left out.
On a site I go to I noticed a woman there with really bad intentions toward the group and to our leader. I am tempted to say something, but knowing what I now know about narcissists, I know I don't dare. Everyone just ignores her, but I want to say something. I'm afraid I have always been like that. I always want to "pick" on people, and this always lands me into trouble.