Sunday, November 13, 2016

Going No Contact Cured Severe Anxiety

Many of my life long severe anxiety problems eased up after no contact. They have gotten so much better. I have been shocked and amazed at this amazing cure of "generalized anxiety disorder" and gut-busting panic attacks, that left me shaking for decades.

Therapists with severe anxiety patients should dig deep and find out if they are being abused or victims of past abuse. COPD can trigger anxiety in me but even that is more controlled, I can keep myself together more. I got sick last week trying to pick up a heavy turkey while walking in an Aldis to put on my walker that I was buying  for later in the month.  We may still go to this community dinner for Thanksgiving and save the turkey for later, but they were on sale and a deal I didn't want to pass up.  Picking it up put me in respiratory distress. Later,  I was able to calm myself down and get my breathing together. This was medical melding with the mental, but it is nice for anxiety to be rare. My husband told me, "Don't pick up any heavy items, they are too much for you, come get me!"

One thing those narcissists do to us, is mess us up, life becomes the hamster wheel. Over these last three years, I have been able to CALM DOWN a lot more. Like even when I was taking the bus, I'd wait and would tell myself, everything will be okay. Even if you are poor, you are still a good person. I would enjoy the scenery and took pictures of the sky, while sitting and waiting. I want life to be peaceful, laid back, free of BS and drama.

This may be the biggest gift of all when it came to being no contact. It sliced down the worry. It allowed for peace and calm and times of thinking. I think it has helped my art work too. Yes that sounds weird. Some people talk of being in the "flow", there are times of painting, where you are there painting an object, seeing the inward colors, and it can be an interesting passage of time. Such moments are found in peaceful times. A lot of my art was fueled by stress and anxiety but a new art may emerge now. I have noticed the paintings may even go a bit brighter. The art therapist in me finds this kind of intriguing.

When I talked to that cousin, some of the anxiety sneaked back. He reminded me of the old anxious me, and while that cousin is not one of the most evil ones but simply influenced by them, the being triggered and "feeling afraid" feelings came back. I sat down and really thought this out, "Why is just talking to him making me feel so afraid?"  Sometimes people or groups of people are just bad for us. We know we are not liked, and hate and despised.  The years of back stabbing and games have taken a toll. Even the "nicer ones" are trained to see as a "the problem", "over-emotional" or "crazy" and there's no breaking through this after decades of them being told this.

It is a big deal for me to have decades, yes literally decades of severe panic attacks and anxiety disorders reduced so much. This doesn't mean I may never have a panic attack again because Aspergers alone can bring anxiety troubles, but they've been reduced to the extreme. I don't feel afraid as much as I did all the time. That was worth the walking away.

Therapists need to really look at the anxiety and abuse equations. What is happening to their patients? Where is the anxiety really coming from? Probably for many victims of panic attacks, and crippling anxiety disorders, there's some narcissists and sociopaths lurking around. I struggled with OCD as a child, to the extent it was probably one of the most severe cases in the world, when I moved out from the parents, my hours of checking things was over. I suppose it's like this for the other anxiety problems, cut off the poison and healing can begin. 

If you struggle with depression, anxiety and other problems, pay attention not only to any possible chemical and physiological problems, pay attention to your environment too. Who are you allowing in?


  1. I was no contact and my mother left a message on my answering machine;and the next day I had a really bad panic attack at a light while driving, and I haven't driven since. I'm still working on getting past my post office without anxiety.
    Family can really mess you up emotionally.Stay no contact would be my advice to anyone, and change your number.

    1. I understand. I had very very very bad panic attacks. Once I had one so bad it even took me into the ER. I left, I knew it was not the lungs. With the lungs, I can "panic" but I am coughing up fluids, lung plugs, etc, it is an entire different process. Driving was always harder for me though I could do it. I know that is a place a lot of people can feel anxious. ACONS are often abused so much, they are put on edge for life. I still feel afraid of my family which is embarrassing for a woman of my age to admit, but this fear told me no contact was the best decision too. Yes they can really mess you up. I know when mine have done hoovering, I get "scared" and "panicky" not as much as I used to. Now I just screen the phone out and could give a crap....but wow, for years. I still have dread about being approached from behind or having creeps at the door. I even changed my city on my Facebook hoping they would think I moved away. I need to photoshop a new banner, so I look like I am living elsewhere.

  2. Oh, thank-you! I also feel really embarrassed that I am afraid of my mother at my age! I had a friend catch on to that once and they laughed. They didn't mean to make fun of me I think they were just shocked someone could be afraid of their mother.Most people have no clue. Think about it, even if half the families have narcissistic parents, not everyone ends up as the scapegoat child. And not everyone's siblings turn out horrid.

    1. Yes I was embarrassed too. It is something normal people don't understand, they had mothers they could talk to who acted like human beings. Yeah your friend probably was just surprised. There's different level of narcissists too, such as ones who take it to the sociopath level and some end up with decent siblings instead of co-narcissists.

  3. Hi Peep, "Who are you allowing in" says it all. In this day & age one has to be very careful who they allow in. Over The past 3 years, I have begun to identify my narc family roots. My narc reality is I'm from a MNF,NM and 2 Nbrothers. I'm *No Contact* with the whole lot. I was visiting another area of the US and thought I would try to connect with my father's side of the family. We never met them since my father and his brother were not always on good terms. I called them and gave them a surprise visit. Well, low & behold, I walked into another Narc Kingdom...almost of them! The highlight of the visit was when I asked my uncle for a ride to the airport( the only thing I asked)and out of the mouth of Uncle Pervert came,"You are partying, yes,I know you are partying....what are you doing in the back room of that single´s bar?" Disgusting and narc insanity...and this is how an uncle talks to his niece? My female cousin warned me that he is mean & crazy. She & I talk about family dysfuntion when I was there. Like you Peep, I have gotten mixed messages from Cousin and she has not written back. I tried to do something nice by showing up and visiting when I was in that part of the country. Narcs have a way of destroying everything. I have already blocked Uncle Pervert's email after a few more strange comments and if I don't hear back from Cousin by Jan. I'm done and blocking her too. I don't need hot & cold behavior. Peep, like's my entire family-NO CONTACT...for peace & protection...the only way.