Monday, January 12, 2015

Narcissists Attack Your Conscience



This video sums up so much to me.  This is a video that spoke so much to me, that I have watched it three times. Smakintosh is right about the narcissist's moral darkening. He is right when he says, "They attack our very consciences." This is completely true. I think the narcissists do know that something is missing in them and that they hate the "light" and "conscience" in others. Remembering my parents yelling at me for being "too sensitive" as a child, by then they were trying to stamp out the flicker of goodness and a conscience within me.  I understand what he means too about this being difficult to express in words.

Spiritually, I had these thoughts as a child, knowing I was different in my core from my parents. I knew I lived among dark individuals who saw the world in a completely different fashion. Destroy or be destroyed. I wanted to help people. They saw this as offensive. I was nothing like them.

Clear consciences are something narcissists hate. They live in the darkness of seared conscience. They do not want good people around them. If anyone is "good", they want to make them bad just like themselves. They do want people to be the same as them-- moral degenerates who live for self gain.

My mother attacked my conscience. My father did as well. I was even told I was not to have my own beliefs a few times which I refused at a very young age and brought forth more of their anger.  Smakintosh is right about how narcs prop themselves up as people's moral authorities. My mother definitely is seen as such within my dysfunctional family. She is seen as the moral authority not God to those people.  It is crazy how everything is tested and judged according to HER standards. I watch both siblings living as slaves to these standards, still seeking to please "Mom". Everything is done with the idea of her watching them and her pleasure or displeasure. What about pleasing God?

Abusive parents will tell you that you are wrong a million times and elevate themselves above you, where they are always right and you are always wrong. This is something they do to people where they will try to separate you from your own conscience and intuition. They try to train you in thinking what they think and believe is above what you think and believe.  They do extreme spiritual damage to individuals.. I believe this is one way they gain so much control over entire groups of people. Exploration, discovery and introspection and spiritual yearning is stamped out under many a narcissist's foot. 

I believe God has helped me separate from my narcissists. When I was saved in Jesus Christ, and put God first, I was able to test the narcissists [we need to of course test ourselves as Christians] and see them for what they were. I was able to stand for my own values with God's help. God broke the chains of the narcissist's false authority.

See: The Nature of Evil and NPD Families.

8 comments:

  1. This has to be the same smakintosh that comments here on your blog. He has my mother nailed to a T. I will be subscribing to his YT channel post haste, if he has one. Buddy if you are struggling to get words out, know this. You ring true enough for me. You nailed it.

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    1. Yes it is. He nailed my mother too. This is a video I know I will rewatch to remind myself of the spiritual and other implications when I need to. Yeah even if he struggled to get the words out he most certainly nailed it.

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  2. I can't even watch that whole video. So painful. The crap I used to put up with. I had a MN "friend" one time told me that I shouldn't return item I bought at the store as it was morally wrong. Items that didn't work right, items that were broken down after little time being used. She said that retailers can't afford that. That I was going to make the retailers shut down.

    Also I stopped babysitting for a lady that wouldn't pay me. That was wrong too, to my MN non friend.

    There was lots of things she said. I can't list them all. My ex as well.

    And you know, I just can't blame them. If a gorilla attacked me in the street I would have the sense and get away, not make him my buddy cause he wanted me. This is all on mother's shoulder's for my formative years and not having good judgement. And I should have been able to have the foresight to see these awful creatures for what they were.

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    1. Many will dish out the false guilt. There is nothing wrong with returning a defective item to the store, or refusing to babysit for someone who will not pay. Many narcs will have a twisted morality that shows up, they will lie and lie but then scream if you sleep in on Sunday morning. I agree about gorilla. We learn to avoid the gorillas in the street with time and experience but living with gorillas kind of confuses a kid.

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  3. Thank you for posting this Peep. Wife and I have been busy packing, getting ready for our move away from her (and my) so called family. I feel pretty alone right now, don't know a soul where we're moving. I thank God for you and others in this family of survivors. You are my family. The other ACON's are my family. You all are my brothers and sisters. Though we may not see or speak to each other face to face (which will happen soon, BTW), I still feel your heart in my heart. My wife and I love and pray for you guys.

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  4. It's still amazing to me that others seem to be going through the exact same things. I hate having to break my own heart, in order to protect myself, my husband, and my children from their hate filled ways. All the hatred has it's roots in my mother. She hated that I had a mind of my own. She expected a daughter to be a perfectly compliant malleable doll to show off, and I was just a little girl believing she loved me. I truly thought that If I could show I loved herby trying as hard as I could.

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    1. Its too bad you are having to face this too. I am glad you are breaking the generational cycle with your own children. Yes they hate when we have minds of their own and want little Mini-mes to "show off". I did the trying hard thing for many years too. It never works. Thanks for your kind words regarding my blog.

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  5. Then all would be well. I just want to say Peep that I appreciate your blog so much and especially this video.

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