This reminds me of when I recently called my sister. When I was in contact with her and mother and I was on so many pills for my state of mental health, and everyone was putting me down. No at NC, my sister believes that I should be in contact with mother since I am feeling better. She told me that since I am no longer "sick" I can help take care of mother. I posted about it and TW told me that sister was breaking the boundaries here. TW really helped me that day as I was confused and felt guilty. My sister told me to get lost and never speak to her again.
Also too, when I called my aunt (mother's sister) that day, it was amazing how much she stood up for mother, saying she and mother were abused growing up. Ok, now I'm sitting here wondering why they have a great big family picture of them all grown up. You see, they all get along, mother and her siblings. I have a hard time understanding why that would never happen with me and my siblings. Triangulation destroys not builds up.
Yep, perspective. Thanks for the picture, it helped me think about that day I decided to call my sister and mother.
Wow you get well, and you are elected the new nursemaid. See how that worked. I am glad TW warned you. They will use confusion and guilt to make our heads spin. I am glad you stood up to your sister. I wonder if some get Stockholmed all together, the narc parent may demand that they "stick together". Why did my narc grandmother have my mother promise on her deathbed to take care of Aunt Scapegoat? Triangulation usually does destroy but maybe some narcs demand sibling conformity where they are not to cut one another off. I am not sure how that works.
This reminds me of when I recently called my sister. When I was in contact with her and mother and I was on so many pills for my state of mental health, and everyone was putting me down. No at NC, my sister believes that I should be in contact with mother since I am feeling better. She told me that since I am no longer "sick" I can help take care of mother. I posted about it and TW told me that sister was breaking the boundaries here. TW really helped me that day as I was confused and felt guilty. My sister told me to get lost and never speak to her again.
ReplyDeleteAlso too, when I called my aunt (mother's sister) that day, it was amazing how much she stood up for mother, saying she and mother were abused growing up. Ok, now I'm sitting here wondering why they have a great big family picture of them all grown up. You see, they all get along, mother and her siblings. I have a hard time understanding why that would never happen with me and my siblings. Triangulation destroys not builds up.
Yep, perspective. Thanks for the picture, it helped me think about that day I decided to call my sister and mother.
Wow you get well, and you are elected the new nursemaid. See how that worked. I am glad TW warned you. They will use confusion and guilt to make our heads spin. I am glad you stood up to your sister. I wonder if some get Stockholmed all together, the narc parent may demand that they "stick together". Why did my narc grandmother have my mother promise on her deathbed to take care of Aunt Scapegoat? Triangulation usually does destroy but maybe some narcs demand sibling conformity where they are not to cut one another off. I am not sure how that works.
ReplyDelete