Sunday, March 1, 2015
Psalm 1:1 The No Contact Verse and We are Refugees
Smakintosh made a very good video here. I never considered Psalm 1:1 in my no contact before but do now. I have followed the biblical commands to depart from the wicked but this Psalm is extremely revelatory too. Scornful is an interesting word that one can think of when it comes to the narcissist who degrades and mocks you. Smakintosh is right when he states we are commanded to depart from the personality disordered by God. Profligate is a very interesting word, those definitions definitely apply to narcissists and their evil towards other people. The word disquieting sums up so much of my life in dealing with the narcissists in my life, they took away my peace for decades, and disturbed and made me anxious. As a Christian, the Bible gives very direct advice for us to apply to our lives, and this verse is direct basically saying Get Away from people like this!
Psalm 1:1 Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.
I feel like a refugee too. During my first no contact, I literally went on the run. There is a side of my personality where I always think about running away. My husband wonders at some of this vigilance but I know where it comes from.
I pray Smakintosh's new move works out for him and his wife and they enjoy their new community. While I live in the same state as one of my main narcissists, I have not lived in any of the same cities as any member of my family since I was 21 years old. Thank God for that, they would have turned my name mud in whatever community we shared. I won't even live in the same town as a cousin as long as I live. Creating physical distance from narcissists is usually a good idea. They can't smear campaign you to your neighbors or try set-ups for revenge as easily.
It is hard to move, I've been through some tough ones myself. Just thinking of my old loved small town can be tough coupled with the grief of so many who have died there. That town in my life was a literal refuge and in that way probably will always have part of my heart in that I escaped a horrible place in the big city. I have enjoyed where I live now too, it is a small enough town where I can be comfortable. I do believe a move to escape narcissists is usually a good idea. I have fled them myself, and "saved" myself with moves. For many ACONs, physical moves can literally save their lives, and their emotional health. I wish mine did not know where I lived.
We are refugees. My dreams during my life often were filled of packing bags and being "in danger" and being on the run. I have often pondered the meaning of these dreams. I shout to my loved husband in many of these dreams to help me and sometimes he is there running with me and other times I am looking for him. In most of these dreams, I am hiding or running from my family. You know your Mom and Dad were not nice people if they star forever in your nightmares as villains. I used to even feel guilty about these dreams years ago but not anymore!
The psychologists would have a field day with my dream life. This description of being a refugee in Smakintosh's video hit home for me, I was always seeking shelter or refuge. I wanted saved from the evil. At a self help group, I told two friends, I never feel safe, I always feel the streets loom and that danger is like an anvil over my head. My refuge in this life has come through God. I agree He is my only refuge. When I feel this way, I have to go pray to deal with it. Like Samkintosh God has rescued me from very wicked people. I pray now for His protection everyday.
ACONs are those seeking refuge, and following their conscience, instead of being destroyed or owned by the wicked. I understand now why I feel like I am on "the run". I was a refugee.
Psalm 9:9 The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble.