Friday, March 6, 2015
Very Dangerous Narcissism
One thing I've had to think of since my no contact is safety. It has bubbled up in my mind before. Remember the book, "The Gift of Fear"? It always told you to trust those inner instincts and if you think someone is dangerous they often are. Situational awareness saved me from even worse crime while working in the big city and with dangerous youth. I have been in positions that were life and death, kind of like a cop. Instincts are honed in this sort of setting. Maybe this was one thing that helped wake me up with enough time.
One thing if you realize someone is a sociopath, and they are operating without a conscience they aren't held in by the same moral code. You know you have to watch your back. Sociopaths are dangerous. I have told friends if anything ever was to happen to me that is suspicious you know where to look.
Narcissistic Survivor is right to tell people how low these narcissists will go. They will lie to destroy your life. When he brings up the narcissists telling people that you are mentally ill, that already happened to me. Mine did that for years. That was started when I was very young and she used my Aspergers to ruin my reputation because I was not like most other people. I have written in another article that one thing that fueled my breaking away was her seizing guardianship over my Aunt Scapegoat who is in better health then me.
My mother is very good at fooling people and I think is one of the most "talented" sociopaths and narcissists out there. She controls the entire family and just like my grandmother is considered the "heroic matriarch" to the other members of the family. She never goes without getting her needs met. In this world she has always come out on top in the extreme. She has always won and never lost in this world. Just the fact that "one" got away and out of the locus of control would be enough to bring extreme anger.
One thing I have noticed about narcissists, some are bad at it, they drive people away, they do not have the charisma to pull off having a following. They end up alone and with miserable lives. Mine is very good. She will never fear being alone or being the one left out in the cold. She will have minions to bow down before her for life. She successfully isolates anyone she wishes to scapegoat without pause. There is a reason, I don't even have one ally or someone else who broke away within the family system on both sides. There isn't a sympathetic family friend either. I am sure incredible lies are being spread now.
In my case, I do not see my narcissists as harmless. Not at all. My suspicions about them only grew as the fog cleared. I know mine could seek "revenge" and if things go on long enough, the pretend nice cards could end, and the narcissistic rage could kick in. Mine would desire it just for making her "look bad" to the outside family by cutting her off. Regarding this blog, if it ever was found, I better keep praying for protection like I always do.
He is right to warn, "They will go to any length to destroy you". My guard will not be going down. I agree about saving all emails and voicemails. I printed out two of her mean emails, early on to remind me to stay of why I went no contact to begin with when the early false guilt came.
Anything goes for someone like that.
I know in my case if I ended my no contact punishment would await even if there were tons of fake smiles and presents to be had. Some will do anything to lure back the ones who escaped, I keep seeing that story repeated over and over with other ACONs. I will never forget that during my first no contact, she had no way to find out where I lived but got it out of someone maybe an employer or even private investigator and literally "hunted" me down.
Hopefully mine has thrown up her hands given the time that has passed but the creepy fake cards with the neat handwriting make me feel like she is "laying in wait" which gives me even more of a creepy feeling and an inner message to stay away! How do I explain this all to you? When I first departed I thought, "She will be happy to see me gone and it will be discard and devalue time", but it didn't happen that way.
He talks about how "they are very patient" and they will "take their time setting you up."
Sadly she will be looking for a new scapegoat to fill my position. Hey I warned who I could, so my conscience is clear.
Staying no contact is what will keep me and you safe---- "Never trust them not for one split second."