Saturday, December 10, 2016

Childhood Trauma

My ACE score was 8 when I took the test.

There is a definite link between bad adult health and childhood abuse and trauma.


  1. EVERY SINGLE ACON I know that suffered major trauma as a child has died young from a stress related disorder. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE! Diabetes, High Blood pressure,and related kidney disorders. There is Kathy Krajko Joanna Ashmun. All died from stress related or undetermined causes. Where I come from undetermined usually means suicide.

    1. Yes they all die young. I am very sick and only in my late 40s. The ACE studies make clear that if you get a narc or sociopathic parent, future horrible health awaits. What is even worse in America is they blame us for being sick, like we did 'something' wrong. I'v been sick for the last week, even had two days of contemplating the hospital. My apt is a wreck, husband has taken out trash and gotten food without him, it would be even worse. I imagine a legion of jeering narcs. Yes many of those bloggers died so young. Agree about undetermined. Life very ill with no family or others to help is very harsh too.

  2. Dear Peep,
    About a year ago, I read the below article after seeing red flags in a family that I started to reconnect with and all the markers are there. I thought something is wrong. Also, after being born from above in Christ Jesus, I confronted someone that had been gas lighting me for 30 years. These types like what they do to you, and take advantage of your honesty. They think that God give them the right to commit sins against you. My health has declined also and to think they feel no shame at all. Cry wolf people, read my mind people, triangulation people. If it was not for two elderly Christian ladies that gave me Christian friendship, and these ladies are in their early 90's and late 80's, well they were there for me when no one else was. I thank the Lord for that, as no one is bearing anyones burdens as a Christian as they should.
    May your burden lighten up also. May all the glory go to my Lord Jesus Christ. Thank you.

    The following are some common dynamics of this profoundly dysfunctional intergenerational system. (Keep in mind there are always degrees of dysfunction on a spectrum depending on the level of narcissism in the parents.)

    Secrets. The family secret is that the parents are not meeting the children's emotional needs, or that they are abusive in some way. This is the norm in the narcissistic family. The message to the children: "Don't tell the outside world—pretend everything is fine."
    Image. The narcissistic family is all about image. The message is: "We are bigger, better, have no problems, and must put on the face of perfection." Children get the messages: "What would the neighbors think?" "What would the relatives think?" What would our friends think?" These are common fears in the family: "Always put a smile on that pretty little face."
    Negative Messages. Children are given spoken and unspoken messages that get internalized, typically: "You're not good enough"; "You don't measure up"; "You are valued for what you do rather than for who you are."
    Lack of Parental Hierarchy. In healthy families, there is a strong parental hierarchy in which the parents are in charge and shining love, light, guidance, and direction down to the children. In narcissistic families, this hierarchy is non-existent; the children are there to serve parental needs.
    Lack of Emotional Tune-In. Narcissistic parents lack the ability to emotionally tune in to their kids. They cannot feel and show empathy or unconditional love. They are typically critical and judgmental.

    1. Thanks for the link it is a good one. Well it becomes all about secret keeping in narc families. I am glad you had your two elderly good Christian friends. Thanks for your prayers. I hope your burdens are lightened too. :)