"Look at All My Presents!" I know you can't afford any!"
That caption wasn't posted with this picture my brother put up on a social website but the meaning was clear.
This article goes with this one "Conflicted About My Brother"
The more I think about things with my brother, I believed I got suckered and was big time. Even my husband says to me when we discussed all this, "Yes I would agree". Do any of you know of the new TV show "Better Call Saul", my husband says my brother is like him except without the jokes or the insight as to what rules he is actually breaking
I am an emotional sucker for the few crumbs they do throw out, even the nice ones, but even there it is for the sole reason of manipulation. I do believe too many [all?] learned from my mother too well. I am facing facts, my brother is selfish. He had the money to come visit me or let me see my nephews more. He simply did not care. While he has said nicer words to me, he learned the lessons on how to treat me too and the treatment isn't so hot.
I updated the Conflicted article in the comments, but that day when he called me and I thought he "cared" and I thought to myself at least this time he is not bragging about some new purchase, within HOURS, he wrote me on private message on a social website and sent me TWELVE photos of his new rental house with wood floors and the loads of new furniture. I estimate the value of the collection of new furniture which included three beds, a new long dining room table and chairs, 4 computer tables--he has a lot of computers, new couch, love seat, washer and dryer to be around $10,000-$15,000 dollars or so. This was of course just some time after his show-off of his Christmas bonanza you see above too which I did not respond to.
I didn't show my annoyance and laughed on the private message and asked him if he robbed a bank. He had told me he had bedbugs but had worked hard to earn all the money to replace all his furniture. I found this hard to buy. He does not make money to pay for all this. He sells candy with teenagers door to door from van. On the day he called me, he had called me three times. I had not communicated with him in a couple of months. As you know I have considered no contact with him too. Anyhow to my horror because of the way he tracked me down so incessantly, and remember how poor I am here, he really just contacted me to show these things off. It was a time he wanted to bolster himself. He just contacted me to show these things off! How did I fall for it again!?
He made constant promises when on the phone, with me the first time, he would have my nephews call on last Sunday, he knew I missed them and felt disconnected from them. I felt like they were used as pawns. Sunday came and went and no one called. Some may say "Why didn't you call?" I had called before time always at the wrong time, someone was leaving the house, eating or getting ready, I also am done with chasing after people. No one called. Later I asked him if it was next Sunday they were supposed to call and he wrote back saying "Oh we were too busy". I let it drop and did not respond.
I used to be closer to my brother but I realize now the relationship is essentially nothing. This is a fact I have to face even though it hurts. I do not think I am at fault I tried my best. I don't mean anything to him but as a mirror to reflect off too. It troubles me how he sees me as the audience to show off his better money to. He is still a few notches down from my sister and mother. This gave me a very lonely feeling and a lot of sadness. One commenter wrote, "He doesn't really see you", and this is true.
I highly suspect given my brother's poor rental history, the bedbugs, and the rest, that my mother got him the house and furniture and insisted pulling strings behind the scenes that I see all of it. He hasn't seen me in 5 years. His children are strangers to me. I ask "Why am I bothering?"