Monday, February 9, 2015
I was warned by good friends, that once I was into No Contact long enough that some emotions would be rising up especially once I got to the one year marker and beyond. ACON blogs attest to the feelings of anger and grief that rise up as the scapegoat especially disengages themselves and processes what they went through.
Healing rests in truth-telling, making space for good and positive people and letting go of a family that only has hurt you over and over again. I do see the light at the end of the tunnel of all this.
The other day I told my husband, one thing I say to myself, is, "I can be happy in my own simple life". I have depended on the love of God, my husband and friends to make it through. One thing I am doing lately is seeking happy days, where I focus on fun activities like watching a loved show with a friend or my hobbies, and these are the things I am adding to my sum of my days and focusing on.
The grief I know is real, and many of us have faced it. Sometimes it can feel like when you go no contact, that your entire family went down in a jumbo jet and you got the phone call yesterday but then we have to be honest with ourselves and realize the actual relationships we had with these people were not at all what we wanted them to be or imagined them to be.