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Her facebook wall is public and I am NOT a friend. I happened to see this, I think it was Fat Logic and then went to check out her wall and read some of the public posts.
I understand those "Why am I so fat, I hate the world!" days....but sheesh, the day I start staring at thin people hating them for being smaller then me, is the day it'd all be over for me. A 300lb woman is "thin to me".
I'm sure my Facebook wall has embarrassing stuff on it too but this one surprised me.
I don't know or think this would necessarily apply to obese men; but I find men do not care as much about what they weigh,yet women can get down over a mere 20 or 30 pounds..Some women a mere 5 pounds.. It shows how women having to be beautiful, so dictates our thoughts. I so wish I could go back in time and change all the wasted time spent trying to look better. Think of all I could have done with that energy..
ReplyDeleteI also wish I had known that I was beautiful enough.And accepted how I looked, not how my parents or glamour magazine said I should look..
Suki
Yeah men can be more free about their looks and far less pressures. Women are constantly comparing and worried about looks. I looked at old pictures of me at 14 when I was being called ugly and was flabbergasted, I was barely fat, I looked great, it really told me how much they messed with my mind. So much abuse is unloaded on people especially women for looks and the "beauty prison" is a great evil.
DeleteYes, I remember thinking I was fat in highschool, and ugly.
ReplyDeleteI was cute and totally normal. They totally mess with your mind. My father used to tell my sisters they were fat, and they weren't in any way. I was really skinny and my sisters would yell at me "we hope you get fat".I feel like they finally got there wish.They would be so happy. The thing they didn't realize,and wouldn't care about, was that I didn't eat much because that's how I dealt with all the abuse and trauma back then.
My father set us all up for a lifetime of body angst that was totally necessary. What a waste.
It is so unfair that women are held to a high standard of beauty but men can just be average or below and they expect to get beautiful women.
It made me angry looking at those photo albums of when I was 14, and I wasn't thin but I was far from the hugely obese, ugly "monster" those around me made me be. I think actually that photo album day was a time the NC door creaked open a crack. I really am FAT, I am huge one of the biggest people even in my own county, I could be the fattest woman in my home state at 500lbs, but what is scary is I have had THIN women, like 130lbs or even under on some occasion tell me narcs have called them fat, fat a$$ and concentrated on their weight. It is used as a method to abuse all women in a way. I agree all the body angst was unnecessary. I'm a stage 4 Lipedemic instead of stage 1 who is still mobile, [PCOS/thyroid itself may have taken me to mid 200s, or low 300 at most] because of a bunch of narc fat bigots. Yes it so unnecessary your father did that to you. I agree about women being constantly abused on the high standards of beauty and how horrible it is with ageism and the rest.
DeleteI have this theory that overweight women are more creative. I look at a lot of creative women around me and they are overweight. It's because if you spend all your time worried about your weight you don't have the psychic energy for creative endeavors.Now that I don't focus so much on my weight I spend more time doing creative things.Not that I never am concerned about my weight or wouldn't like to lose weight. It's just I don't make that about my self worth anymore. Except when I think about my family. Then I regress and start stressing...
ReplyDeleteI do resent having to spend time working on health problems all the time... That's total time suck-age.
Suki
No one's asking us to parties and we have few friends, so we are at home either reading books or doing craft projects. :P Well that may be part of it. I do think women too spend hours on hair and makeup. A few rare ones approach it like an expression of art, I can handle those types but the weight loss and "conforming types" with hours of hair curling and make up it just sounds exhausting. I spend 5 hours on medical related tasks a day. Yeah so medical stuff can take a LOT OF TIME.
DeleteIm totally not a primper. My husband spends more time on his hair and stuff than I do..All that makeup and hairstyling does look exhausting. Plus that's not what you really look like.
ReplyDeleteSuki