Saturday, August 15, 2015

Seeking Revenge on a Narcissist is Madness

In my case, I know my narcissists are capable of anything. He is right that seeking revenge on a narcissist is total madness. Narcissists live for the battle and are used to winning. They will lie, cheat and steal and do anything to win, and don't play by the same rules. They will manipulate. This is how ACONs can find themselves involuntarily committed to mental hospitals or put in jail or financially destroyed or otherwise destroyed.

Trying to get revenge on a narcissist is playing with fire. It's dancing with the devil and expecting good results when all you will get is burned. God will have to get my justice for me. I know it's hard on this earth to have someone ruin you and in many cases take the whole family away and then just walk away. I know mine probably wants revenge for this blog and yes that does scare me but I'm not going to live my life shaking in my boots. I just want a peaceful happy life. Even if I am struggling with finding peace and happiness it is what I desire. I pray I am left in peace. Even with my struggles, I have more good days now in dealing with my NC decision then I did last year even if I am facing some struggles. There is no doubt I made the right choice even if dealing with the outcome has been difficult.

Playing get back at a narcissist is insanity. There will be no end to the game. Even if a victim "wins" one battle, the narcissists will come back to win the war. We know they can ensure many flying monkeys to join in on the game too to help them out.

There are many infiltrators into the narcissist sub-culture. They don't like people seeking validation and empathy between themselves. I have written I believe the powers that be feel threatened by those who honestly expose narcissists and sociopaths. This is why you are seeing narcissistic FRIENDLY websites.  The new mode is to either lie to ACONs giving them bad information, on how narcissists and sociopaths can be cured or for them to seek revenge, or to make excuses for narcissists. Let's be frank, this narcissistic stuff is about a spiritual war, this is a war between good and evil, and plenty of the wicked, want to steer ACONs wrong.

Fellow ACONs have kept me alive. We give each other strength and hope. I had close friends who faced abuse decades ago even before we could give a name to the problem. We must remain careful of bad advice and those wanting to deceive.


  1. $50 to get revenge? Where? Is there a money back guarantee? lol just kidding.

    All joking aside, this was very good, but I do want to say that I actually tell myself that its ok to want to revenge. And make that feeling ok. Then I realize that maybe revenge is anger that I feel when I lack some of my self-esteem and I want it back and do something to be proud of. So its not shameful to want revenge.

    I think that's what revenge is? To get back my self-esteem? Then I just work on my self-esteem. This is working great for me. I know from experience that revenge never works because narcissists will fight extra dirty and do things that I can't even imagine is possible.

    But I know my desire to want revenge is huge. I have to work with my emotions so I don't end up in a stew pot.

    These people who are selling these programs aren't helping anyone. We just have to support and validate eachother, and that is where I find my self esteem in all this.

    1. Those people selling those programs are just a bunch of scammers wanting to get money out of misery. I don't think it is wrong for us to feel anger or even a desire for revenge but how we act on things is what matters. God commands no revenge so we have to follow him. I do pray for justice in this world though too and to be able to have a good life and the "revenge" of living well. I have prayed to God don't let me be beaten down and impoverished so these wicked narcs can have glee at my suffering. Yes the narcs will fight very dirty, they are dangerous to mess with and sadly most dummies out in the world believe their lies. I agree I have found my self esteem in the community of fellow ACONs. We can find people to support and validate us. I think for other people too get away from the narcs. Live the life that makes you happy as much as it is within your control. I know I am working through a lot of feelings too anger, disgust, and some even hard to describe, at what happened to me and the insanity and evil I had to deal with.

  2. Narcissism : REPROBATE behavior on steroids.

    1. I agree. with plenty of other reprobate backup

  3. Thanks God! I'm glad I am 3,000 plus miles away from my adopted narc mother. My adopted siblings have been in mental hospital or maybe in jail because they took revenge, told people the truth about her abuses against them, or ran away from home. When I was young, I left home and went LC for six years without knowing the term. Then I moved 1,000 miles away. I went NC after an accident because my adopted narc mother gloated and implied that she was glad it happened. She was hoping I would go home so she could ruin my life. Today, it has been almost 30 years since I left her "nest" for good. She no longer has something on me, except for her effort to smear against me to my remaining older friends who got tired of my hearing my complaints against injustices and being unloved, who had a narc spouse who did not like me, or religious narcs who were actually my project friends.

    Even though I am 3,000 miles away from my adopted narc mother, I ran into narcs in my life recently. They have narcissistic injury and/or narcissistic wounds on me last fall. One turned about 10 people against me because he/she (a tranny) was mad when a man she wanted to date moved away from her after she told me that she "wanted her privacy" when I asked her for her email address and Facebook page, I was trying to make new friends. One is a tenured professor who got narcissistic injury or wounds when she saw my thesis proposal. She chose not to work as my thesis director, and tried to tell my graduate school program to make me rework on my proposal and change my topic. I did not see her again but have been warned against taking her classes in the future. My friends and I have been hoping that she will be forced to move out of state and get a job elsewhere.

    Many people and ACONs want justice and love, so were usually have a hard time with God's slower responses to their prayers for love and justice. Narcs love it when they see that God is not answering our prayers fast enough. They will tell us that God is not responding to our prayers because he is punishing us and teaching us something, or is trying to make us surrender our lives to him so that we could not make decisions or have freedom. Some narcs will tell us that God does not want us to have freedom and choice in our lives, but they do not live what they preached. Narcs will tell us that people who give us love are not good for us. I remember my adopted narc mother hated it when people were loving and caring to me. She also hated it when people did not "criticize" me. Narcs will tell us that God wants Christians to "criticize" us and if we don't like it, then we are not good Christians. We don't know when God will dispense justice. I've been justices in the past and have been praying for justices everyday. Maybe he is holding back because of too many narcs ruling and hoarding money. I don't know.

    I will pray for you, Peep, Joan S., and everyone who have been unloved or dealt with injustices in their live.

    1. I am glad you are three thousand miles away from here too. I am still a day trip away from mine where she can do things like show up at the door and destroy my relationship with my niece. Yes if we tell people about narc abusers, it can backfire on us. Just like I told someone I thought who was my friend how someone was abusing me and talking down to me in my support group and she refused to believe both me and my husband. This person even was cruel to several other people and she still did not believe. When she started telling me I was "crazy", I knew I was done with her but sadly that is what happens, so many want to bow before narcissists and I went through the same process in my own family. No one believes me, and I am "deemed" the crazy one.

      I am sorry yours gloated over an accident. Being sick around narcissists is dangerous. She could have had you move home in desperation and then destroyed you. I am glad you did not end up around her. I know I have to depend on the state if anything happens to my husband. Even the local church here was lousy and I knew they'd never be here for me because I did not have lots of money to give them.

      I am glad you left her polluted nest. Yes being so far away for so long and I hope she doesn't know where you live, does bring more safety. You were very brave to get away. Yes they will use our sadness and complaints against us saying we are bad people so when we cry or are depressed over being unloved, unwanted and uninvited they dig the hole deeper for us. Religious narcs can be the worse kind and I know I have to be very careful of the project friends. The latest one hurt me so much, and I thought she "cared" and she never really did. I am actually praying that she does not mess up any other vulnerable people who may see her as a "real friend". Her creepy emails telling me that what I posted on my social website offended her so she blocked them out and telling me to go watch a movie instead of having feelings resonate with me.
      The religious narcs can be the worse and one thing every ACON needs to learn is trust their intuition about a narc in the room because they can turn people against you. Sometimes there will be good people who will detect narcs and have consciences but many with narcissistic traits themselves will follow them. Sorry the tranny turned 10 people against you. If someone is trying to reach out or showing any vulnerabilities, these evil narcs see that as prey, they are so cold. I am glad you did not end up with that thesis professor. I hope she leaves too and you never encounter needing her for a class.

      Yes we want justice and love. I am tired of narcs trying to destroy people's lives and taking people away. They don't care about anyone and other people are pawns to them. I do not know why God seems slow on responses to prayers but the Bible especially in the last days warns how evil this world will get. It speaks of people waxing cold and I do believe we are in the last days. The Narcs often who lie, cheat and steal their way into prosperity in this world will tell us over and over that God is not blessing us or it is our fault we are poor or did not have good outcomes or have unhealthy bodies. They do tell people to surrender to false preachers and Narcs as well and tell people who leave behind abuses in their family they are "bad people" and "unforgiving" even when they know you went back and forgave to be abused again.


    2. I remember my narc mother and sister hated my friends guts. If someone liked me or was kind to me, they hated them and put pressure on them. Every relative who showed me a modicum of compassion was punished. Just as I wrote in the criticism article

      Narcs use it as their main tool. They think they are judge and jury on a person just like that ex-friend did to me. When she criticized me I actually had flashbacks to my mother. I am done with criticizers.

      I pray for justice everyday. I pray God allows me to have a peaceful life for whatever time I have left and I do not end up in the streets, and I pray the same for you too Anon. I want to meet nice kind people like I knew in my old town who will not judge me and who I can speak freely too and not be hated and mocked. I believe Satan is ruling this earth now and his followers are rejoicing but their time is coming when they will facing judgment.

      Thanks for your prayers Anon, I will pray for everyone here too and you as well.

    3. Aw thanks Anon. I read your comment here like it was a soothing salve I needed.