When Fair-Weather Friends Add to your Stress

Lady with a Truck

"People who tell you stuff “for your own good” and only “because they care” when they have never experienced anything even close to what you are going through, are not being a good friend they are being critical, holier than thou, superior, and like to make you feel bad about yourself. IF they were really concerned they would be one of the handful of friends who come to this site trying to get information in order to understand and help their friend. THAT is a true friend. Someone willing to put in the effort to learn so they can truly help and not do more damage. If someone doesn’t want to do the research to find out how to help you they don’t really want to help. 

They think they should help, they want to look like they care, but they really don’t want to have put themselves out to do it. “So get on with life already, because I don’t have time to be a true friend and you are making me look like a bad friend.” “In order to avoid looking like a bad friend I will blame you for not healing fast enough and maybe that will force you to put a damn smile on your face and stop making me feel inadequate as a friend”. 

 This quote seemed to sum up what happened to me in the friendship that went bad. Thank God I have real friends who have stuck by me, but as I warned in the Project Friends article.  No one is your real friend who thinks you must be fixed to be acceptable. Us chronically ill people face this often, I have disabled friends who have talked of the same thing happening to them. I'm done with critical people who think they are superior to me.