Monday, August 31, 2015

Why is She Wasting Her Time and Stamp?


I have thrown away a lot of cards but every now and then I read one. At least I don't get that feeling of fear anymore when I see a card from her. Thankfully that is gone. All the cards are the SAME. They all basically state "I didn't do anything" in various guises. It's like watching a psychological horror flick. Why waste the time and the stamp? Does she think by repeating herself, that I will erase my own memory banks? If she thinks she can play some guilt games, I'm not wasting guilt on people with no feelings.

Her "mask" always counted more then her own "daughter". It is more of the gaslighting, rewriting history, saying it did not happen. She never has given a real apology in her life. You know the proof is in the pudding with our broken relationship.

 She has no feelings. She has no humility. She never would ask, "What is wrong?" or say "How can I fix things?" Nope I get the same denial I have gotten for years and this is exactly what built the problems to be so huge. She treated me like I was nothing for years and continues this in her "cards". She's wasting the stamp. She always put me last way behind everyone else. I was nothing to her. I didn't get a card from the GC sister, I figure they are swapping "scapegoat duty" since the GC sent me an anniversary card I just threw in the trash and didn't even open and she sent me the birthday card.

 I once had the idea in the early days of my NC to tell her the only way I will come back is if she issues an official letter of apology to the entire family and admits her poor treatment of me, sends copies and reconciles my relationships with them. I know it's never would happen in a million years. It would be fake anyhow.  Funny how we get those fantasies. I always had the fantasy of having a mother with an actual conscience and heart. Same for a sister with the same.

The sentence "came into our lives" is odd. Is this a way someone would write about someone actually BORN to them where they were pregnant with them? Yeah I know I hit a dead end with the adoption search but I found the wording strange. You know I tried to read her "withholding" heiroglyphics for years. You can really get to know someone, they stay a stranger when they never tell the truth and do nothing but rewrite history.

I did have a good birthday, went to go eat some Indian food with my husband, and had some friends visit me.

25 comments:

  1. Ewww. She's so creepy. She says you "chose" to believe things about her that are untrue?! What the?! That statement alone shows how deranged her mind is. Then she turns herself into a saint by saying even though you are a liar I am still going to wish you the best on your birthday. I mean... the day you came into their lives?! Does she not want to admit she gave birth to you? Is she trying to distance herself from that? Oh hell ya, this is witholding in a most perverse form. She is so weird! Reading that card makes me feel slimed. So I can only imagine how it makes you feel.

    I hope she's still not sending you cards. Is that one recent?

    Happy Birthday Peep! I'm glad you had a good one.

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    1. That card is recent from two days ago. I am still getting cards three years in. It is creepy. Remember my narcs know where I live.

      Think about it, she has to focus all the blame on me, I'm the one choosing to believe the supposed lies about her. Yes then turns it all around and plays "SAINT". Even there she makes it all about her.

      Lisette the comment about me coming into their lives, creeped me out to the max, because of my adoption search which hit a dead end. I think she may not have given birth to me still. Getting a call from a giant big city court within two days is nearly unheard of isn't it? That may be a complicated mess Ill never get the answers too.

      http://fivehundredpoundpeeps.blogspot.com/2015/04/we-cant-find-any-adoption-records.html

      I don't think someone actually GIVING birth would write, "the day you came into our lives". She owes me the truth but I will never get it. Even if she is my biological mother, she is the creepiest woman in the universe. Yes definite distancing and a very suspicious statement. It has not escaped my attention that she had to find out about my adoption search, and what I asked some outer ring relatives, and she never told me, "I am your real mother". She keeps blathering on about "not being guilty" which tells me there could be something hidden.

      Yeah it is withholding in a perverse form. She never talked to me with any depth. I lived with strangers in every sense of the word. I know she is weird beyond measure.

      Yes still getting the cards since this was a few days ago. I think the GC sis stopped finally.

      Thanks Lisette. I had a good birthday, glad to have fun with husband and friends just resting at home.

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    2. If she recently sent you the card she can read your reaction to it online. After all, she *might* be lurking.

      What I find strange is her writing "you choose to believe things about me that are totally untrue." That suggests to me that someone outside of you, was feeding you info on her and you chose to believe it. But what you believe comes from you and your experiences with her. I guess that's the warped thinking and communication style of narcissists. She's almost implying your thoughts are not your own. I guess that's gaslighting too.

      It's clear she needs to stay attached to you. All these narc abusers need to remain fused to their victims. I don't like the fact that she can communicate with you. The fact that she can "get to you" (even if it's through some lame card) is feeding her.

      If you are out there Queen Spider... you make me sick!

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    3. It's true she may be lurking. It's a risk I take. I know I can't control what I post on here for the sake of her.

      I find the writing strange. I'm not sure if that sentence is about the blog. It could be. Otherwise what is she complaining about? No one ever told me anything.

      It is very warped. It's not real communication at all.

      Why stay attached? That is the part I don't get. She had no real attachment for me. Wouldn't talk to me. Treated me like nothing for years. Ignored me. I remember giving her dozens of chances for a closer relationship back when I was in the fog and was in "forgiveness" mode. Well she blew it and that's on her. I would invite her to visit and more only to get turned down.

      She has tons of other people who are at her beck and call that she put ahead of me for years. She can go visit Aunt Scapegoat who will scrape and bow and she can abuse. She has her entire family to go visit and she has endless money to see them monthly when I haven't seen them in 10 years. What does she need me for?

      The woman hated me from day one. I remember being 4 years old and knowing she hated me. My sketchbook from the age of 5 is drawn proof.

      I threw a lot of the cards away. I suppose with this one my own curiosity got to me. I was surprised to get something this far in.

      I even hesitated to post this fearing I'd be feeding her. I am not going to censor my blog for her liking.

      I better go back to just throwing them in the trash. There is nothing really said but the same over and over.

      That will never change. One thing about narcs unlike other people they do not grow and change. It is one creepy thing about them. I am getting older but in one true sense she isn't.

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    4. Yes the "thoughts are not your own" thing is creepy.

      That is where some of their total evil is implicit...where they deny a person's personal thoughts and feelings.

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  2. One time I forced my ex-husband to apologize to me and he used that against me for years. I can't even describe how he did it because it was so diabolical. My head was spinning. He was MN too. You used the right judgement and just stayed away. I know it is always tempting to try one last time to get that blood out of a stone.

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    1. That's terrible your ex husband threw it back in your face. Yes they do try to make your head spin. Everything is about confusing people. I realize now my NM did nothing but create self doubt in me rewriting reality teaching me not to trust my own feelings and thoughts and what I saw in front of me in my own eyes. They feed off this "confusion". Well my eyes are open now, and her manipulations will fail. I am not going to go down "Maybe I am wrong" highway anymore. Yes they use empathy to sucker people. We spend years trying to reach out, trying to be "seen", trying to be "loved", trying to get blood out of stones.

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  3. My mother, even after seven years NC, still sends me cards/letters for Christmas and for my birthday. I never reply or respond to her in any way, yet she still does it. Talk about persistence. Lately I am so fed up with it that I am thinking about legal action if she doesn't stop, but maybe that's what she wants - to get any form of attention, perhaps also painting me as the bad guy in the process.

    Mine is the engulfing type that wanted me with her as her property - she even tried to stop me from living on my own as an adult. So here it seems more logical why she would still be trying to contact me; but I suppose all types of narcs have the same basic reason - they need victims to abuse. Besides, your mother sounds like the totalitarian type in that she strives to control the whole family, without exception. So maybe, to her, that includes you and that is why she is sending you the cards. Anyway, it doesn't matter.

    Not a shred of introspection or questioning herself, guilting and other forms of manipulation, a total absence of change or maturation over time - all that applies to both of our mothers. It's like these creatures are all made out of the same mold. Mine tried different techniques over time, from anger and intimidation, through bribery, the latest being fake professions of love and trying to elicit pity/guilt for her supposed bad health and advanced age. In essence, it's all the same as with yours.

    I tried throwing the cards and letters away without opening them, even burning them (to see how that would feel). Finally, for the time being, I decided to collect them in case I need them for evidence in any legal action or report to the police. Or just as a testament to what a slime she is.

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    1. Ok thanks for telling me nenad how it may go. Wow 7 years in. That is pretty persistent. I threw away a lot of the cards, some I read, some I didn't. Definitely all said the same thing over and over.
      Mine is the totalitarian type without an exception. It's not that she misses me but she is mad I am not back in line and that is what she wants.

      Nope no introspection or questioning of one's self nothing. It's scary to watch how they are incapable of guilt and think they are superior and the ones always in the "right".

      It's horrible you went through this too.


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  4. Normal mom says, "I love you. I hope you have a happy birthday. I really love you and wish I could be there with you."

    Narc mom says, "I love me. I am always 100% right, and you are crazy for believing anything else. I wish you the best on my special day, the day that I became your mother. Have a great day celebrating that date when I did something special a long time ago."

    I have noticed this as a pattern with other narc moms when it's their kids' birthdays. It's always about the narcmom, not about the actual birthday person.

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    1. In all the cards, she never has written "I love you". She would sign "love" and has written "we love you". Her cards always have the "I am 100% right message in them, and you are always wrong and your thoughts don't matter and are incorrect and you are delusional" message. Why she thinks she is going to get anywhere with this crap is beyond me. I noticed she made it all about her too.

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  5. Your mom is similar to mine in the creepy form of 'withholding' she uses on you. She seems to be unable to completely let go of her control over you. Mine was the extreme ignoring type who was completely in her own world when I was little especially when I was a teenager and really needed a Mother. She would get angry at me just for wanting to talk to her or for having any kind of problem that teen girls have. I have vivid memories of her drinking copious amounts of RC Colas, eating banana and mayonnaise or potted meat mixed with mayonaiisee (gag) sandwiches on white bread and hiding those 6 packs of Snicker bars they used to sell at the grocery store from me and my brother. Of course she kept gaining weight, didn't care about her appearance and became more irritable toward us especially me and my Dad who she was always trying to control. My GC brother always kissed her butt of course. Yes she would sit in the living room eating all that junk and reading PILES of cheesy Harlequin romance novels and rarely ever took me shopping for school clothes and necessicities and would yell at me to get out of the kitchen if I tried to help. I had NO homemaking skills or basic life knowledge when I got out on my own. My husband asked me one day "didn't your Mom ever teach you ANYTHING?" What little I picked up was from me beloved paternal Grandparents who did try to teach me things. She would instanly become "sweet" and 'doting" if friends or relatives walked in the door! What a total mind f#@K for a young girl who desperately needed a mother. And my Dad was always at work or out drinking to get away from Queen Jezebel. Another thing she did for a long time after the Harlequin phase was to sit and watch Jimmy Swaggart (the 80s preacher who got caught with a hooker). She became all self-righteous and would throw away my record albums and beat on my bedroom door to "turn that music down" when it wasn't really that loud. And once when I was going out on a date with a boy, she called me a "hussy" simply because I started to go out the door before he knocked on it.
    Continued .....

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    1. It's horrible you had a withholding mother too, Freespirit. I told her once in one of the last letters, "we are strangers".

      Here is a comment she wrote me in an email once:

      "You know nothing about my upbringing and the fact that we wore hand-me-downs and shoes with holes in the soles and I could go on and on"

      I retorted "You never have opened up to me about anything, even in one letter from last year, you shared something from your childhood which should be something a daughter would naturally know, but I did not because you withheld everything from me."

      That sums it all up. She told me nothing. The woman is a STRANGER. I realize now she never was a mother to me. Just cooking a few meals doesn't make someone a mother.

      Like yours, mine would get pissed if I wanted to talk to her too. I remember just wanting to have conversations. Why was that so hard? It was sick. She would get angry and tell me to shut up. I realized with horror, I never really have had an actual conversation with the woman where she actually took interest in me or my life even as a child.
      continuing...

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    2. Yours had a horrible diet. Mine took laxatives while eating greasy Italian sausage, and the richest food on the planet. Several meals out a week like Red Lobster and desserts I couldn't even dream of and or afford. She'd yell at me for being fat while she ate everything in sight and it didn't seem it stuck to her body at all.

      LOL Mine read those Harlequin romance novels too. I read a few as a teen, and then gave up, they were boring and formulaic, I outgrew them by the time I was 15. I never saw her read another book on ANYTHING, and she gave up reading outside some magazines. Here I was a little Aspie reading non-fiction and the lack of literacy in my home still astounds me and the DUMBED down few books there were. Men who marry women with low intellectual IQs make their children suffer. I was so intellectually bored to death, I can't even tell you, this continued as an adult.

      I had the Catholic version of imposed religion. I was called a heathen multiple times as I wrote about for leaving.

      Yes we share the no life skills too and watching them "switch" for people going from angry and yelling and NICE once relatives or friends walked in the door. Mine called me a whore [I was a virgin] and a lesbian and once when a junior high school mate got pregnant, told me if I ever got pregnant she'd throw me out in the street.

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  6. And another time she looked at me point blank when I was dressed up and going out somewhere and said "I am prettier than you". I remember being flabbergasted. My young mind could not comprehend why a mother would say that to her child. And she was always FAKE. She just oozed fakeness and a sort of smug, superior "church lady" attitude even though she never went to church but often would force me to go alone. I got baptized at 15 going to church with a friend and I remember overhearing her say "it's just another phase". She wanted me to hear her say that. And over the years after moving out .... I also was in that fog of 'forgiveness' and tried to have a relationship with her but like yours, there was never any depth to our conversations. If I ever attempted to talk about anything other than the Fox News pabulum, an ugly uncomfortable scene would erupt. She is so naïve she STILL believes the official 911 nonsense and that there are actually 2 different parties running the govt and our votes (for corporate selected puppets) somehow matter, etc. My brother is her faithful little disciple, mimicking and echoing her every opinion. As I've mentioned before, she manipulated my Dad into being her bully toward me and got him to do the dirty work while she stayed quietly in the looking like the "saint" while he looked like the one with the problem. By the time she finally finished sucking the life out of him, he was like a pitiful, little compliant child (stockholm syndrom). Anyway, sorry for rambling. I just wanted say that I know what you meant about the fear you used to feel when she would send you cards. I felt that same fear when she would send me cards after I went low contact in 2008, unaware of "narcissism" yet knowing she had a serious problem. When she would send me cards my heart would race and I would hyperventiliate. I threw most of them away or put them in a box in the attic unopened even though I knew they probably had some money or a check inside. I just could not bear to look at them. Since I went No Contact last year after telling her what she was and emailing her Lisette's article on "Malignant Narcissists Get Worse with Age, I haven't heard from her again except when she got my brother to call my husband to tell us my Daddy died "if anyone up there gives a damn". That was 5 months after I went no contact. I didn't go to the funeral but I had a dozen red roses sent to the funeral home with just my Dad's name and a note to him. I did love him, it tore my heart in two when he died. I know he loved me deep down inside because he adored me when I was a little girl and I never forgot. She poisoned his mind against me and poisoned my mind against myself causing me to do rebellious stupid things that served her purpose of scapegoating: "See, look how bad and crazy SHE is! It's all her fault this family is dysfunctional. And the rest of my family on both sides dropped me instantly when I told them she was a MN. It's as though I never existed. Happy belated Bday by the way.

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    1. That sick she said she was prettier then you. Mine always told me how she was smarter and how no one liked me. Some of this crap was very early on. Mine was fake too. The whole community thought she was this nice woman. This was one reason when I left home, I made sure not to live in the same town as my parents, it even necessitated a 45 minute commute for one part time job.

      Ugh, with the "just the phase" thing. Mine never misses a Mass, but she doesn't care two farts about God. She would get mad if I said anything about God. It was weird to be made to cross myself and say scripted prayers at the table in this type of atmosphere. So wonder I became an atheist and pagan for years before I became a Christian.

      Yes many of us try so hard to have a relationship with these empty bags of people. There's nothing there.
      My mother is a Tea Party Republican [though liberal on things like feminism, abortion, and euthanasia]. She watches Fox News garbage as well. Facebook was fun watching my family insult anyone who was poor before I went NC with them.

      Mine believes all the official nonsense too. I once brought up 9-11 with the family 6 years after it happened and told them it was an "inside job". I thought she was going to kill me. "How can you believe that about your own government?" The others looked at me with horror. They are so freaking brainwashed. The local ex-friend and project also got upset at my views. She would defend politicians and the system to me. She would malign me for my "conspiracy" views. I should have known that "friendship" was destined to fail. I don't mind people disagreeing with me but when they don't allow me to have my own viewpoints. Forget that crap.

      My entire family believes in the system. [two parties, Trump will save us, well you know the drill] Not one independent thinker in the bunch so wonder I was so lonely.

      It's terrible what she did to your father. I may write about mine soon, he was wicked himself, but I believe he would have been a different person without her around. You would see a spark from time to time where he knew something was wrong about life, but she would stamp it out. One close friend told me that my father was the saddest man he had ever seen. Well maybe marrying a woman incapable of love, does that to a person.

      Yeah I would hyperventilate too and felt afraid. It's actually easier for me to just read them now and toss them to the side. Sorry for your loss with your father. I believe mine destroyed our relationship too. I will write about my father soon, there was even a time I tried to get close to him but she always destroyed it. It is one of the worse things these MNs do, destroying our connection with family members. My family all choose her. Even the ones I am LC with, keep me at an obvious distance. I'm keeping Facebook contact with them and not putting myself out there anymore. Thank for the belated birthday wishes :)

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  7. You and I have had very similar experiences. Yes I'll admit I read a couple of those cheesy Harlequins as a teen but it didn't take long to see that they were just the same script over and over. I got no intellectual stimulation either. I delved into the darker realm and began to read all of Stephen King's books, which I found refreshingly "truthful" in a dark way and of course, the Queen didn't like me reading those and said they were of the "devil". (While she systematically destroyed her family from the inside out). When she called me a "hussy" that time I was also still a virgin. I got pregnant later but I was not promiscuous. The guy practically raped me because I had ZERO self-esteem or ability to use boundaries effectively. He was a grade ahead of me, very tall and handsome and I had been going out with him for a while and he was rather intimidating and coerced me to give in even though I did not want to. And of course, boom, I got pregnant. Which only served to completely convince everyone in my extended family that I was the "problem", not Queen Jezebel sitting in her spider's web. Your mom ate all that greasy rich food and didn't gain weight? I'll bet you that not only did she take laxatives but she probably binged and then purged (puked) the food up later. Nobody can eat that kind of stuff without putting on weight, especially women after a certain age. The "God" they believe in is not the real God, who is the Truth. That's why she didn't like you talking about Him because He is not the same one as that Catholic "mary" and her infant son. (Semiramis and Tammuz). That's wild about how yours reacted to your revelation of 9-11. Mine was almost identical and she became hysterical and said "do you believe everything you read on the internet?" I said "Do YOU believe everything you see on the TV." She said "There is NO WAY our government would take part in killing all those innocent people" (Such willfull ignorance and hypocrisy it made my head spin). She then nearly broke down into a big puddle of pity saying "Why do you do this to meeeeee?? I've tried so hard to be a good mother, where did I go wrong........blah, blah blah. Continued........

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    1. Yes the Harlequins were horrible, so boring same script, and teaching false things about love and romance, that probably set up more young people for false romance and expecting a knight on a white horse to solve all their problems. There is something creepy and immoral too about married people reading Harlequins with all the sex scenes and dreams of another man.

      I read all of Stephen King's books, well the ones he wrote when I was young too and I had a strong interest in the "dark" realm. I was a goth and into witchcraft even for a segment of my life. Studied esoteric and "magic" books, read the Kabalah, Egyptian book of the dead, Gnostic book. Mine would scream how I was of the devil too. When I joined the UU church as I wrote about in one article, she ran after me screaming heathen. It's horrible they treated you so badly when you got pregnant. I had an attempted rape when I was a teen but was fortunate I could get away--the nerd Aspieness and obesity probably was a protection in my case. I know for a fact my mother took laxatives, little pink boxes all the place of those laxative pills. I wouldn't doubt there was some purging. She ate very rich food and deserts and got no where near my size. Her highest size was around 200lbs but she has been around 160lbs for the last 20 years. I believe my sister is an anorexic and probably purges as well. She is very stick thin and gets thinner everytime I see a picture of her. She never had interest in food--so austere no enjoyment even of that.

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    2. My family does not believe in the real "god", I agree. I share your beliefs about the Catholic church. There are sincere people in the Catholic church but I pray they read the Bible and figure out the false teachings, and "come out of her" and come to know the real God. Yes I heard the "Do you believe everything you read on the internet" and know I said something like I knew that day something was wrong remembering they had sent flighter planes after the golfer who had a heart attack so why were planes flying all over the place. Their eyes went blank when I told them about Plan for a New American century and it's mention of a "new pearl harbor" on page 52 in the report "Rebuilding America's Defenses" and their eyes went blank. I knew I was wasting my time arguing. I wanted to throw up at the willful ignorance too, but that applied to them even religiously. I once told my sister to make sure she kept her children away from all the pedophile priests after the 2002 sex scandal broke in the Catholic church. Mine just got mad, and shouted during the 9-11 discussion, "You're Crazy!"

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  8. That was the straw that broke the camel's back in 2008. I left there extremely angry and confused and didn't go back around her for about a year and half then just begrudgingly would go every 3 or 4 months because of my daughter, thinking I was "depriving" her of her grandparents (while she was systematically poisoning her against me but I couldn't see it yet). Yes you don't need "frenemies" like the one you mentioned. In my opinion, these "friends" are really demonic spys and infiltrators sent by the devil to keep you in bondage to the narcs. It's like an undercover spiritual system of hive minded drones, all doing the devil's bidding, some unknowingly and some knowingly. It's really bizarre until you conclude that it truly is spiritual warfare. That's the only thing that makes any sense because these people all seem to work together even when they live in different states and only know bits and pieces of the big picture. As far as Trump goes, he is just the latest Ross Perot or Ron Paul (Illuminati opposition leader). Trump is on it and he is one of the "elite". I saw a recent picture of him with a smirk on his face and doing his hands in the Illuminati pyramid symbol. My dad was also one of the saddest people I've ever seen especially toward the end. He had this haunted look in his eyes the last time I saw him. It was like the look you see in a severly battered and abused child that knows it's going to die soon. Or the look in the faces of old pictures of the starving people in the Nazi concentration camps. The look is unmistakeable. Sounds like your Dad would have loved you too if not for your toxic egg donor. They really do have a strong hold on their captives and are able to poison the minds of even the strongest people. I don't know what the difference is between people like our dad's who were not narcs but succumbed to the poison, and scapegoats like us who never let go of the truth. Maybe that's it: the truth. We held on to it no matter what, even without knowing what was happening to us. Is your birthday August 31? That is the birthday of my one cousin who really seemed to love me on my Dad's side but never contacted me after I wrote to her and her parents letting them know what my mother was doing to my Dad and what she and my brother had done to me just before he died. I guess the truth was just too much for them to handle.

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    1. Glad you had your daughter and yes many will return to them feeling guilt over denying children relationships with grandparents but obviously she was trying to poison your own daughter against you and you had to get away. The "friend" was scary, especially towards the end where she was so angry about what I believed. I think this was spiritual warfare too, she was trying to have me give up on my beliefs, and even water down my Christian ones. She told me I was wrong to leave churches and needed to follow pastors. I once gave her an entire fact-filled booklet about 9-11, this was one or two years into the friendship, and she brought it back and said "I am not going to read this, I can't believe these things and don't want to".

      That said I don't care if someone disagrees with me about an issue-- but she bordered on yelling at me for being "crazy". Sometimes one does feel surrounded by pod people telling you what to think and what to care about. Those who don't conform are to be hated. This is very true of my family, they hated all my religious and spiritual pursuits. Even when I was a non-Christian, I was in seeking mode and the me of today can respect that in people. The people who just conform and join the hive bother me. Inherited religion without self examination or a personal relationship with God--Duggars et al is false religion. This is one thing I noticed about my sister, that severely bothers me, she is Catholic because Mommy is and that is the main reason.

      I think Trump is show time for the masses. They always present an alternative that gets everyone riled up they never would allow to be present, yes just like Ross Perot or even Anderson of many years back. Trump is in on the whole mess, not surprised he is joining the symbols crowd too.

      Sorry your father was so sad too. Mine was a narc unlike yours and raged but yes mine had the sadness. I think he was capable of some love, but it got squelched by her. I realize even the few times in life I got closer to him, she would make sure it would be destroyed. I wish he did not believe everything she told him. I remember trying to tell him about things she said and did like stealing my credit card, and he would not believe me. Maybe people give in to them and stop caring about the truth, while we held onto the truth. I am glad your cousin loved you. I don't understand the hold these creeps have where even if you talk to them about what happened, they go silent, and keep their secrets for them. Sorry she never contact you, that had to hurt. My relationship with my extended family is basically dead. I have LC with some but we are rapidly becoming strangers because they have not seen me in so many years.

      and her parents letting them know what my mother was doing to my Dad and what she and my brother had done to me just before he died. I guess the truth was just too much for them to handle.

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  9. This song always reminded me of my Dad.

    CAN'T YOU SEE (Marshall Tucker Band)

    Gonna take a freight train
    Down at the station, Lord
    I don't care where it goes
    Gonna climb a mountain
    The highest mountain
    Jump off, nobody gonna know

    Can't you see, whoa, can't you see
    What that woman, Lord, she been doin' to me
    Can't you see, can't you see
    What that woman, she been doin' to me

    I'm gonna find me
    A hole in the wall
    I'm gonna crawl inside and die
    'Cause my lady, now
    A mean ol' woman, Lord
    Never told me goodbye

    Can't you see, oh, can't you see
    What that woman, Lord, she been doin' to me
    Can't you see, can't you see
    What that woman, Lord, she been doin' to me

    I'm gonna buy a ticket, now
    As far as I can
    Ain't a-never comin' back
    Ride me a southbound
    All the way to Georgia, now
    Till the train, it run out of track

    Can't you see, oh, can't you see
    What that woman, Lord, she been doin' to me
    Can't you see, can't you see
    What that woman, she been doin' to me

    Can't you see, whoa, can't you see
    What that woman, Lord, she been doin' to me
    Can't you see, whoa, can't you see
    What that woman, she been doin' to me

    Can't you see (oh, she's such a crazy lady), can't you see
    What that woman, she been doin' to me
    Can't you see (Lord, I can't stand), can't you see
    What that woman, she been doin' to me

    Can't you see (I'm gonna take a freight train), can't you see (down at the station, Lord)
    What that woman, she been doin' to me (ain't never comin' back)
    Can't you see (gonna ride me a southbound, now), can't you see (all the way to Georgia, Lord)
    What that woman, she been doin' to me (till the train run out of track)

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    1. Good song. I have seen blogs written by men who have escaped narcissistic women and it sums it up. I think the ones who do escape are the exceptions.

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  10. Happy Birthday!!!

    Your card really got to me. I have gotten the same card deep into NC. The hand-writing was so similar and there were also triple underlines! F***ing creepy. This, year four, was actually the first time I didn't receive one of these. Could be because I used the words malignant narcissist to the last child who still speaks to her.

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    1. Thanks Anon. Sorry you got the same kind of card. I know it is not easy. Yeah what is with those triple underlines? Weird eh? Maybe 4 years in is enough time for them to give up. Maybe she was afraid of being exposed as a malignant narcissist in your case so is leaving you alone now.

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