Keep Your Old Emails So You Know Why You Walked: Tossing the Scapegoat Under the Bus
Keep Your Old Emails To Know Why You Walked
During the family email exchange, I wrote my brother and wrote, "This email is for your eyes only". This was ignored. He forwarded this email to the entire family. One of my cousins told me, he had no other way to know the email even existed. It was forwarded to Queen Spider as well. He was shocked my brother forwarded it to the entire family during the argument. That cousin was no ally either, I just manage to get some information for once from him.
It makes their betrayal that much more glaring. In a way my brother did me a favor and I thought later, I don't need a no contact letter with the family, they have already seen why I walked in this email forwarded against my will. One thing I realized years ago, there was no privacy, everything was going to be reported.
Why
is she down on the whole event when this is between me and her?This is
just more manipulation to get everyone to turn against me. She has never tried to understand what it means to be poor. She
thinks we all chose it or deserve it. She thinks she is superior to
those of us in the family who are poor and that is wrong. She spends
money like water, while some of the rest of us go without groceries.
Holding
that over someone's head is just cruel too. She is dysfunctional
because she does not love anyone and she hates her own daughter. She
always has viewed me with contempt and has turned other people against
me. She spits on everything I value. The entire family revolves around
her, while the rest of us are chopped liver. I'm tired of it all.
Someone like this you can't even talk to. She will play martyr like "oh I won't have this event next year and it's all {peep's} fault!" Evil (Peep)! Oh she will use this argument to it's full extent. How dare you cross me! she says. My original letter wasn't even that harsh. I don't expect you to defend me, no one ever does.
I was really sick and had a 103.7 fever Wed night and almost ended up in the hospital.
Your brother is not a man. He is a coward and a momma`s boy. I'm glad you cut him off along with your other "relatives."
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry he betrayed your trust and confidence in him by forwarding a copy of your email to your malignant narc mother and other relatives. At least one relative have conscience enough to know that your brother was wrong forwarding a copy of your email to all of your relatives. You could haunt your brother with his choices sooner than later.
Yes I had no choice but to walk. I have not seen him in 7 years anyhow. He ditched me during one visit when he was close to my home in my state visiting the Queen because she told him he was "too busy" to visit me. He made the choice then. Everything I told him got reported so there was no trust in the relationship. I am glad the cousin told me too, sometimes I would see glimmer of conscience with some of the cousins but Queen Spider would stamp that out sadly. It did save me having to write a NC letter to the family because doesn't it say everything? They all sat back and let her rip, and it was like that in person too. Not one of them ever had the guts to stand up to her and that includes my brother. I think he never grew up if you ask me, so Momma's boy sums it up quite well.
DeleteHI, PEEP: Yes, your brother is a real rat.I can tell you what happens as everyone gets older,and your mom dies.From experience,I can say,your brother MIGHT realize how damaged HE IS,from abusive parents,The results might be different.He may not get inherited wealth,if he expects that.-he might eventually get very bugged at the dead mom,and get angry.Or,none of this may happen.IF your brother ever realizes he was abused too,and hurt,there's no predicting his reactions;true.But,time can bring realizations,especially if abusive relatives have died.--they no longer have control,influence over him.Probably your brother won't be very happy,finally,in his life.--he's very screwed up.I personally have had the followers of abusers,who also did it,come & apologize to me much later.Or,in the case of a brother or sister,eventually become friends because they realize their anger at parents,and not at me.YOU.BUT,there's no guarantee any of this happens.Your brother's behavior has been bad.Abusive parents try to abuse all children,and make them hate & separate from each other,so they can never help each other.--so the best thing to do,is cut off all family.I myself am old,never married,and alone.--that can be the worst.American white families(WASPS) are isolated,disintegrating,live far apart,& parents often abuse their kids.--or just are very COLD & demand big career accomplishments children can't do.American society,corporations, & huge demand that everyone be rich,or at least ACT RICH,& use credit to live beyond their means has destroyed American families too.Its no excuse for horrible behavior,but it does explain the corruption & perversion Americans families often suffer from.Psychologists know perverted families can pass on Narcicism,abuse, anger,& mental illness on and on.--and never stop or fix it.It is a very sad situation.As a member of such a family your only hope now is to SURVIVE,& try to find as much happiness as you can.You are a very strong, intelligent,and capable person.You are a real survivor--and that's a compliment.And your blog helps a lot of people. Thank you!!! :)--a reader, in Oregon
ReplyDeleteMan he was a total rat. Just didn't care about me and even after I told him how sister did the hoovering, he did the same thing with her. He is major denial, and I tend to think won't wake up. You need to "let that go" is all I heard from him as he told me to get back in line. Things could change after she dies, but I don't plan to go begging for his affection then, he had his chance. I was told by two relatives, she cut him out f the will too and warned him so yeah, when that happens, it may get interesting for him. He was so greedy for money, I can tell he was glad I was gone [no more competition] My husband thinks she has spent every dime anyhow. Who knows what tricks she is playing to finance the new cars and all the shopping now, I probably don't want to know.
DeleteShe's getting old and can't live forever. It is true it would massively change the family dynamics. The younger relatives aren't as close, just some of the cousins who are brothers, and that's it. My sister and brother have nothing to do with each other and nothing to do with each others kids.
I am glad you got apologies later from some. I don't expect that though I know some ACONs can have that happen.
Yes even my siblings hating each other and having nothing to do with one another is a result of my mother so right now all three of her kids, have nothing to do with each other so she definitely did a lot of damage. There is no loving sibling relationships at all.
Yes getting old while childless is very hard. I know being unmarried and on your own in this world totally would be very hard. It's true white families especially middle class and above are disintegrating.
All the moving far apart for careers and dying jobs and job lay-offs [reason for our last move which fell through] has destroyed family life and relationships. People are growing colder and if a child does not accomplish a good career or middle class life, they are often cut off or hidden. It's made everything much more corrupt and perverse. To fail monetarily in USA society doesn't mean just losing buying power and consumer experiences but means losing relationships and your family. Of course the narcissism and abuse is growing too.
I had no money to travel and see people [haven't even seen my old town in 5 years, since 2011 which is only 150 miles away] so the relationships died from distance too. They had money to visit me on their end but chose not to.
I agree my only option now is to try and survive best I can and find some happiness. When giving up on toxic relationships it does bring freedom. I was knotted up into a ball for years dealing with those people. Thanks for the nice things you wrote about me and glad my blog has helped you. Thanks reader in Oregon :) :)