This is the kind of claptrap you see on Facebook memes all the time. Yes you can hate bad experiences. This is the fuzzy wuzzy, navel gazing, New Age, positive thinking garbage taken to the extreme. You wonder if someone who believes this actually had any bad experiences. My lungs feel like they are going to crawl out of my body, the suffering quotient of my life is so high, I feel like I will go insane. The marshmallow mystics make me nauseous.
Why not? Child Abuse/Neglect is a hateful experience perpetrated by hateful people AND continues to be perpetrated into the child's adult life. IMO, being really angry/feeling hate in response is a sign of mental health!
ReplyDeleteHate like any other INTENSE feeling dissipates over time when it's acknowledged, confirmed and accepted by the survivor. Loading more "shoulds" on survivors or implying it's somehow shameful or unacceptable to feel genuinely hateful towards my abusers sounds and feels like The Thought Police are on patrol-in their "PC/0 Emission Vehicles" that are actually spewing crapola all over survivors.
Thoughts/Feelings are NOT actions. If I *acted on* the times I felt INTENSE hatred towards the perps that'd be a whole different situation. In the meantime, if one more person tells me feeling my GENUINE feelings "will make you an angry, bitter person," I'll have to tell them (again) I'm still waiting for that to happen-decades post NC. So far, not only have the PC crowd and their crystal ball "predictions" not evolved, but I haven't spontaneously combusted, been struck by lighting or in any way been "smitten" by any other pestilence (besides the PC-ers.)
So all these predictions of gloom and doom better happen pretty quick here because I'm OLD and getting older every day: My Expiration Date could be any time, so we better get this "bitter/hate" etc. stuff goin' post haste!
Yeesch ;)
TW
Positive thinking nazi claptrap like you see in those FB memes really get on my last nerve. My N parents bought right into this garbage. About a year ago, my MN mother finally stopped sending me those "smile and the world smiles with you" platitudes and cliches (which subsituted for real. genuine emotion that she did not have). I'm glad she did too, because I found them very patronizing and just another way to put me down for being the kind of person I am. -- Lucky Otter
ReplyDeleteUgh, barf, sorry your N parents bought into this garbage too. That would be torture. My mother did read those Iyanla Vanzant books which Oprah pushed so much. Yes the fake smiles, actually the world is more apt to kick you in the teeth. They were patronizing. I was told I was "too negative" by the family and thusly had "gotten what I deserved". Sorry you went through that Otter.
DeleteI agree child abuse is a hateful experience done by hateful people, and the sad thing is they continue the abuse when we are adults, training everyone in our family to treat us like worms or like we are not important. I think being angry or hating the whole affair is a sign of more mental health too. The fuzzy wuzz patrol I guess wants us to numb out for the sake of our abusers.
ReplyDeleteYes we have to face these emotions to get rid of them rather then deadening ourselves. I was told I was wrong to be "angry" for years and should embrace my abuse, by so many pundits including the family itself as they told me I was wrong, and "they were just the way they were, and I had to accept them" Yes this is thought police crap isn't it. Love your abuser, Love your Big Brother. I suppose I am suppose to love that I was denied treatment and diagnosis of a rare disease that sent my weight into the stratosphere.
One thing I think it is important is we own our own feelings and emotions. Yes we have to control our actions but to deny feelings just does nothing for a person. I know this for sure. I denied my real feelings for far too long too. LOL about the pestilence of the PC crowd. All they did was serve as enablers and excusers for abuse. These were the jerks, who told me green money would rain on my head if I "thought the right thoughts" Still remember sitting on the curb in Chicago being given one of the lectures by the positivity patrol. Here these types actually proliferate and worsen our abuse telling us in an indirect fashion that we were responsible for it. LOL about the hatred and bitter. I know biblically I am to avoid bitterness as I can help it, but even Jesus called the vipers vipers at one point. This goes along with the "hug your vampire or snake" crowd nonsense.
I know right! My NGC sister would always say "How can I help you". If I hear one more feel good cliche from these narcs I'm a hit em with a cliche of my own. Bitch please!!!
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