Saturday, December 13, 2014

How to Hug A Vampire! No Way!

Many false churches today tell Christians to enable wicked people and "hug" them. I was told to forgive and reconcile by therapists and ministers with my mother during my first no contact and I gave in and went back for more abuse. I am an old school Christian that believes my Bible when it talks about seared people. Most malignant narcissists and sociopaths, spiritually fit the definition of seared. They are wicked.

Namby pamby hugs aren't going to make someone without a conscience suddenly get one. Here one is opening themselves to the wicked. False watered down Joel Osteen inspired churches aren't telling their congregants about how evil operates. They are telling ear tickling lies from the pulpit.

 There is a difference between an ordinary sinner and someone who has chosen evil over and over for decades and handed themselves over to wickedness, with a darkened mind and conscience. When I first became a Christian, being a babe in Christ and unseasoned, I ran to "forgive" my mother and let bygones and opened the door wide for vulnerability and more abuse. I was trying to love a snake. This was not God's will, I just didn't know any better. There was even one time when I decided to be loving and hug her. That was a strange day, it was like hugging a board! She was more annoyed then anything. She never hugged me as a child not even to fake for others.

 For me, my faith life ran the no contact bus. God was convicting me to walk away, the bible commandments to depart from the wicked were first in my mind. In my case, my family hates that I am a Christian, to the point I was ordered not to talk of anything religious or of God in my mother's house. Now lest you think I was banging my bible at their house, I did not, I witnessed once or twice and then was in peace but they were so adverse to my faith, that my mother's weird written rules in an email "Don't talk about God' at our family holiday gathering was beyond the pale. I wasn't going to commit idolatry and forsake God to please narcs.

I had to start facing the truth, that my mother and family was evil. Every man sins and I had plenty of my own faults to contend with and sins to repent of. I am even struggling now with anger and envy because life seems to have entered a Job like state with constant illness and problems. However to be a Christian and sitting even in the same room with my family, I felt darkness, it got to be a worse and worse problem. My trained brain, would be telling me to "Calm down", but discernment inside was screaming, "Get away!". I literally started having more physical problems being in their company, where I would get sick. It is even hard to explain how I felt a dark cloud of blackness even around Aunt Scapegoat, who actively and verbally rejected and hated God, and saw true evil and darkness in my mother's eyes, as she told me that she wished Aunt Scapegoat didn't have the surgery to save her life. Even my sister gave me the willies while talking to her on a private message. I couldn't ignore these things. God was convicting me to get away and telling me I could not sell my soul for a would be inheritance.

There can be more mild unseared narcs, where there is a chance for redemption, but for the worse cases, the ones who have turned to the dark side fully, it is a different ballgame. I'm dealt with the worse ones. There was never any remorse, and never any kind feelings. I wrote that my parents were evil in my diaries by my teens. Be careful here, the world will tell people to give narcissists a million chances. I dreamed of the day my mother would apologize or show remorse or the day I could break through. I imagined her being a person she really was not, trying to reach out to a good core, that really did not exist. When it comes to the vampires, sometimes our imaginations will tell us, oh the vampire is really cuddly, the vampire is really not a vampire but this is a time someone needs to get real and face what they are dealing with.  I even prayed to get through to my mother for a decade as I tried to reach out to her only to be hurt time and time again.

The fallen away churches will give a place to the wicked. Cowardly flying monkeys and wimps all step aside for the evil but some are so bad, as smakingtosh shows here, they are literally teaching their members to hug the vampires. In that kind of environment, the wicked will be given permission to abuse. The vampires will rule, and being given a place to hurt others.  I'm done hugging vampires and the lizards.

1Ti 4:2    Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron;
Mat 7:6    Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.


  1. Me too. NC has been the best thing that has ever happened to me.

  2. I still struggle with guilt for my nc status. I have a huge family that I've helped financially and otherwise throughout the years. The thing is, the more I did for these people the more determined my parents seemed to be to keep my reputation dirtied and shameful.

    I remember the last family holiday I spent with them. My nieces husband and I seemed to click. She's always been like my god daughter so I was so happy he enjoyed my company and seemed to bond with me. Of course everyone noticed and of course the next time I ran into him, he would barely look me in eye much less speak to me. So another outside person that initially liked me and respected me had been 'warned' about me. Frightened off for good I could tell he would never trust me or reach out to me again.

    It's good to read posts like this during the holidays. Instead of being depressing , they actually are uplifting to me, because I know my guilt is unjustified. I know it's toxic indoctrination that a lifetime of shaming and blaming has installed into my reactions and reflections. It takes work to see through it. Maybe it always will, but testimonies like this make it much easier.

    If they need a hug , they can go buy a puppy.