This world often defends the wicked. It is one sad fact of life. I get a lot of trolls on this blog. They cuss me out, use my weight to go crazy and one even told me today that if they were my family they'd disown me too. One thing I'd notice among the so called politically correct they cannot fathom someone having an opinion different from them. Even admitting one is an ACON can bring the trolls out to play but sometimes I contend with both the fat-haters and the ones who love to defend the wicked all at once.
Every ACON has lived a life watching the wicked be defended. No one ever confronted my narcissists and told them they should do different, instead others always served as judge and jury over me. Its funny they will call me judgemental but they always have an excuse for every sociopath and narcissist out there and their endless dirty deeds. This meme is true about society speaking out most often for the abusers.
Proverbs 17:15 He that justifieth the wicked, and he that condemneth the just, even they both are abomination the LORD.
I'm with Ollie. It wasn't a problem until people quit putting up with their crap. Read about Darvo. The disordered have their martyrs cloak ready for any and all occasions.
ReplyDeleteYes they all play martyr. I know my narcs have, I am the horrible person who walked away but none questioned why I did.
DeleteWow this DARVO stuff sums up their worse techniques doesn't it...
"DARVO
Explanations > Behaviors > Coping Mechanisms > DARVO
Description | Example | Discussion | So what?
Description
When wrong-doers are confronted with their acts (which may be criminal), they show a pattern that can be abbreviated as DARVO This stands for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender.
The person thus denies having committed the offence, attacks the accuser and reverses the roles, painting themself as the victim and their actual victim as the actual guilty party.
Two common types of denial are 'It didn't happen' and (if it cannot be denied) then 'It wasn't harmful'.
Attacks can be violent and effectively abusive towards the accuser, with threats of legal action, attacks on credibility and so on.
Example
A person is accused of rape. When confronted with this, they deny that rape occurred, explaining it as consensual and acting in an outraged, affronted way, painting themselves as a hapless victim, whereas the actual victim with whom they had sex is described as a vindictive person who the accused later rightly spurned after discovering their malicious personality.
Discussion
This is a pattern described by Jennifer Freyd in 1997 in her researches on 'betrayal trauma theory', particularly in the context of childhood abuse and sexual offenders.
This pattern has links to the Drama Triangle when a third party (typically representing the law) seeks to confront the person with their crime.
So what?
If confronting what appears to be a wrong-doer, then watch out for this pattern.
Note also that a similar pattern may appear where the person actually is the innocent party. The best approach is thus to seek further evidence, whilst watching for signs of lying.
See also
Games, Denial, Lying
Freyd, J.J. (1997) Violations of power, adaptive blindness, and betrayal trauma theory. Feminism & Psychology, 7, 22-32
Veldhuis, C. B., & Freyd, J. J. (1999). Groomed for silence, groomed for betrayal. In M. Rivera (Ed.), Fragment by Fragment: Feminist Perspectives on Memory and Child Sexual Abuse (pp. 253-282). Charlottetown, PEI Canada: Gynergy Books"