Friday, August 19, 2016
Verbal Combat Skills and the Dangers of Grey Rocking
[warning some of these videos I worry are more on the lines of helping one become a better narcissist, Don Draper isn't exactly a nice guy. There's also faith based sensibilities to to think of but I am worried about my lack of verbal combat skills. Well keep reading]
The doctor gave me that same "condemned feeling" inside that my family gave me. When he told me, my sore was a PIMPLE, that hurt my feelings. My husband has told me he will talk to the nurse and help me confront this doctor too. I told my husband, I wonder how bad the abuse would be if I was single. I hate when I think of "comebacks" way too long after the fact. Like, "Yeah like I want to play phone tag with you idiots over a pimple" or "Sure taking antibiotics is fun and so is laying in bed for hours feeling too tired to move, I love having this "pimple"!
When I sat back, I thought, "Damn, I told those people at the home visit doctors office, I didn't know what the stupid sore was". I knew it was an infection because I felt like puking and had extreme fatigue. I described it in detail. It's just like narcissists to withhold and never share information. It's healing but the stupid thing still looks scary and is so big.
Let's all be done taking people's crap. I need to work on my verbal skills under pressure. I'm one of those people who is too quiet and then when I get pushed past a certain point, I start yelling. Because my temper got so bad, especially after my days in Chicago where I got "hard" and ready to verbally fight someone on a dime, I tried to mellow myself out, maybe I've gone too far.
Maybe I should have my husband do role-playing with me so he can pretend call me up act like one of these people and then I can learn to tell people off quicker. My stair-case silence is still getting me into massive trouble. Where is that coming from? That propensity to mutism? Am I chicken? I don't think that it is. It's like my mind freezes up. It's hard to explain.
I cried and asked my husband, "Why did I go silent?"The narcissists catch me by surprise and I freeze up. I am too slow to defend myself. I need to seriously learn some verbal combat skills or I am going to spend my life being screwed over. Even with the possible fake Aspie, I wish I had just said right to her face, "Why aren't you talking to me, and What is your damn problem?" With one ex-narc friend she insulted me in my living room and I went quiet and only gave meek defenses and then later said Adios. I better well quit being such a verbal coward. There's times I have spoken up to people don't get me wrong especially if another underdog is being kicked around. It is bugging me however to go silent so much.
Let me warn of something here: Greyrocking isn't always a great idea. I did it for too long while I was low contact. It taught me to suppress emotions in front of people too much! Because my mother fed off any negative emotions, I learned to suppress them, to appear like a robot. Even today I am afraid to loosen up in front of many people. It is an incredible social problem. I am afraid of sharing real emotions, opinions and more. Any information is seen to be used as a possible getting screwed. People are easily offended today. Maybe it's easier to be hated. I never outgrew sinking into the wall paper to a certain extent. My mother had a way of turning any emotions against me. So be careful of grey rocking. It stinks. It is better to AVOID the evil, as the bible tells us to do.
Have any ACONs here done well in learning verbal combat skills? What did you learn? The only concrete skill I have learned is when someone insults me is to agree with them and turn it back on them. One thing about me I can out-argue even lawyers, if something specific comes up, so I am not talking about that, but more personal events.
One thing with this doctor even I noticed when I was "bitchier" he treated me better. Once he was going on about the pharmacies, and I told him "Look I didn't invent the damn computer program switch it to paper scripts or leave me alone" and he backed down. But I get tired of the constant combat narcissists seem to lust for. I am not always alert and aware every second for their bullcrap.
I agree AVOID is the first point of action, but I have to learn to not be weak when it comes to unavoidable verbal confrontations. I need verbal combat training.
Verbal Self Defense