Friday, August 26, 2016

Are Your Bills Crushing You? Surviving While Poor

Are your bills crushing you? Mine are. There's three of them above ready to get me! lol Will payment plans keep them at bay?

I want to ask people how do you survive? Hey maybe fill me in here.

My life has become a litany of food pantries and the rest. Last week we went to the soup kitchen, in the inner city. They fed us spaghetti, it was direct, you line up, some people got free loaves of bread. Some of the men in there had "house arrest boxes" around their ankles, well that part wasn't good. It was rather austere but the meal filled us up.

 Some people would be afraid to go down there, but I have lived in ghetto areas long enough to know how to survive in them.  This is life as usual for me, as we have gone to community dinners. My husband went to a food pantry yesterday.  I was cooking all that squash I got and the last of the cabbage was used up on soup last week. Tomorrow is a community church lunch for the poor. Let's hope it's not hot!

 If you were to ask me what did you buy that was "extra" in the last three months beyond base survival, I would say, "One day I bought a chicken burrito for 6.95", and another day, I saw this beef jerky on sale for 3.50 which was half priced, which I bought and snacked on. My card making hobby was shut down, the money for supplies simply vaporized. I haven't made anyone a card in 8 months. Stamp collecting? I haven't bought a stamp even a cheap one in almost a year. Oh I think I went to the nature center on June 6th, that's 3 dollars each to get inside. Clothing? One project friend had her parents buy me two dresses in 2011. I got one dress from another friend as a present in 2010. So yes, many things did get cut to the bone. My husband seriously needs clothes, but finding larger ones in thrift is very hard.

I always thought I was a frugal person but I wonder why even my frugality seems to be failing me. Is life getting this tough for others like this out there? If you have poverty surviving ideas, add them in the comments. 

1. Try and find a Food Co-op [there's ones for middle class people too where they share organic and other foods]
The food co-op I joined is a food bonanza and was a great decision. We won't starve at least though I wish there was more meat. We got more meat then most food pantries though. I got two bags of walnuts, to me that is like a kid in Victorian England getting an orange in 1870. Nuts are expensive. Now I can put some in salads and maybe some bran muffins.

2. Always pay rent first even if it's a boarding house room.

My first advice, is always pay rent first. Stable housing is the make or break in terms of surviving poverty. If your housing is at risk then you always are.

When we run out of food during the month or have to go line up at all these charities, I have said to him, "Shouldn't we give up this apartment?" but then I am caught, I am too sick to deal with rental rooms, and the boarding house life in this condition.   Two life rules I have are--stable housing first and foremost, and second life rule, never live with anyone where you are not the adult in charge. No one is clamoring to have me move into their spare bedroom but since I moved home at 20 before my first no contact this has been my rule.  What I went through was not worth it. I could never do it again. This can be a way for people to save money if they have friendly relatives or friends, but it's risky. Because of my Aspergers, I need peace, quiet and a refuge from social demands.

Most rental rooms are upstairs. Roommates may not have patience with someone who is always home or spending an hour in the bathroom.  We have had this discussion over and over and the "roommate" discussion. We would take this one close friend if he became homeless and others but strangers seem too risky. Maybe we are paranoid or maybe I know not everyone would be understanding. Sometimes I worry we are too risk adverse, but you can see how life made us that way! For many poor who are in better shape and not two old married people set in their ways living with roommates sometimes works out.

3. Don't waste money if you do have it.

Facebook is crazy. Watching the higher socio-economic classes burn money with a lighter in front of my eyes is insane. A few wealthier types have been ordering those companies that put together cooking boxes.  Time is money but they spend around 85 dollars to get FOUR meals. I have fed both of us for an entire week on less then 85 bucks, which is 21 meals. We eat a lot of eggs, cooked vegetables and soup.  One lady repainted her door 4 times, trying to get the "best" color on the front of her suburban home. How much did those cans of paint cost?

It's their business but watching my mother waste money, right in front of my eyes, with her 10,000 glass snow men and shopping was insane. How much did the second vacation home alone cost in money and taxes?  My husband tells me, "Don't worry about being cut out of the will, there's no way nothing is left, she's probably even re-mortgaged the house again.  Past behavior tells you future behavior." I added up once what she spent since she got the big insurance pay outs of 1998. The new cars and house renovation alone would equal half of what she got back then and almost 20 years have passed. I know two government pensions are good, but I don't think they are that good.  She made good money selling her soul counting body bags for the government and Bush's wars even without a college education but there's a limit to everything.

Years ago, she told one aunt "My children will be rich when I die", but I thought that's gotta be the biggest nonsense going. I was told I was cut out anyway.  The level of money I saw being spent before I walked, I was in shock she had not run out. To be honest, to me it would be the ultimate justice if she ever was poor, but my mother never has gone without a dollar she has wanted.

3. Sometimes you can sell stuff

Yes we have done stuff like collect cans and sell ebay.  More then ten years ago, we sold off books, CDs and records on ebay when ebay was going strong. I don't own much to sell now but if you do own things sometimes if you sell your antiques and other valuables if you have them it will raise money.

 I sold a silver necklace for three dollars once at the gold and silver place needing some gas money. It was thin and light. Some towns if you play an instrument you can busk, make sure they don't require permits. Some towns have flea markets were you can set up a garage sale and if you have your own house, garage sales will work. Living in an apartment makes sales like that too difficult.

4. Begging is probably a bad idea [unless you are so desperate you can't help it].

 We have never begged on the street with the cardboard signs. Been tempted but never have sunk that low thankfully.  I am too visibly disabled and people will pretty much know I have a social security check and may ask what is that woman doing? This town is small enough too, even if we went to the outer highway by the mall, my husband could see people he freelances for. We can't have that. I feel for people in that situation. Some towns have laws against it.

5. If you slide through the cracks medicine wise, there are organizations to help you.

Even now I ask my husband, "What are we doing wrong?" I go up and down the list. I get ideas, "Let's do this, Let's do that". They have us herded and "caged" on every front. One slip up and I could fall through the cracks.  There was a time when he was working and "made too much" for me to get medicine, and that was scary and I did go through the cracks. Fell right through it. His work place insurance had done away with pill coverage. I found a special program and without it, I probably would have died. It was called RX Outreach. If you are poor and can't afford medicine this place will help you out. I also would go to the websites for the Pharmaceutical companies, and many offered special programs for specific medicines. Here is an example of one.

If you ever see diabetics who have had a foot amputation, before you judge them and think "why didn't they take care of their diabetes" know that they have made insulin equal to the price of rent. People like me on disability have a few options many don't have. Diabetes is going untreated  None of the cheap pill programs cover insulin either. Maybe some charities are covering this, I would like to think so. I knew this one lady who walked around for a year and half with a blood sugar over 250 because she didn't have money to go to the doctor and no insurance. 

 See if your town has a free clinic, many do now. Sometimes they are in a church. I spent years going to clinics for the very poor. One thing to be cautious of, they are not good at diagnosis, they are trained to deal with immediate problems. Referring MYSELF to a specialist bailed me out once. My husband uses a local free clinic.

6. Avoid the Lifestyle Trap:

My husband paid 300 a month in gas alone to get to one old job. He reminded me yesterday that while back then there was no soup kitchens and going to food pantries--well I went to one at my old church, we were always just as pressed. That never ended. One thing if you do get money, don't raise your lifestyle, keep it the same and enjoy the feeling of "freedom", that's what I always wanted. If you win the Lotto. just keep your old house, and clean it up a bit. Don't increase everything up a notch and be pressed again. My mother spent money like one of those people who win the Lotto and end up with nothing. One huge mistake people make is increasing the lifestyle when they enter into any money and then the level of demands and stress remain the same.

7 Sometimes moving is a good idea, but sometimes it's a bad one.

 If you are poor, don't make our mistake, of moving around for jobs, hoping to become better off.  I have moved too much and to be frank, it made life more difficult. One time it worked and fixed things, and another time it didn't turn out so well, but I ended up with better medical care.  I moved to avoid becoming homeless so the stable housing rule took precedent a few times. My move to Chicago was to avoid immediate homelessness.

  At a certain age, you won't meet people like you did when you were younger and if you get poor enough or disabled enough, your social life will be dead in the water. If you know you aren't going to reach a certain socio-economic level, it's better to invest in relationships. Better off people can travel to see relatives and old friends. If you are a poor person, moving constantly and distance breaks down relationships but then some of this can be beyond your control, even when I have stayed put, others have moved. I didn't have a decent family all in one place but if you do have a decent family like that, rethink moving away. Consider your support systems. Life without a support system is far harder.

8. Compare prices and always look for deals

Another gym I plan to visit now is a 10 dollar a month one, if I can use any of the equipment. One guy I knew told me why are you going to go to ones you can barely afford and told me this gym could be an option. He's right even for the 45 dollar one, I wondered where was I going to find the money but I will compare them all.  I do compare prices on everything.

If you get car repairs, go to poorer areas to get them done if you know you can trust the garages. Try and get word of mouth about who is the best.  Some poor areas use street mechanics, but I have avoided that for now. I know Aspies suck at networking but this is the information about life that helps cut the risks. We once got a radiator fixed for 300 dollars when this other garage on the richer side of town wanted 500. Haggle over the price of things, you CAN save money. I may sound like a cheapskate, but I even have tried to cut deals at thrift stores and garage sales. It has worked.

9. Fighting your way out of poverty doesn't mean you'll never fall back In

My husband says "Maybe we won't be poor forever" but with the declining health and our age, I pretty much have consigned myself to it. Digging one's way out takes good health and neither of us have that.  Anything could happen and I'll be happy then but one has to deal with reality too. We still have some goals we have not let go of. He is still working on another book. I plan to make a zine or something of the comic.

If someone was to ask me, "Don't you know how to dig your way out of poverty?" Sure I do. It takes getting a skill and getting some sort of decent regular employment. That usually takes a degree of health too.  If an ugly man with a beard  in 2007 had not decided that my husband was not a good copy ad writer, my life could have gone completely different.

 I am not some Republican that thinks all poor people are poor from moral failings but if you have bad habits like losing at gambling, drugs or drinking or the rest that cost money or kill employment, then do what you can to get away from them. Whatever the size acceptance delusionists say, being fat is probably one of the biggest money killers in the world. I do think if I had not gotten sick and if the lungs had stayed intact, I may have been okay. Life would have gone a whole other direction.

If you are young and weigh in the mid200s and 300lbs, do everything beyond moving heaven and earth to avoid supersized obesity because once you go beyond the 250lb norm, good jobs unless you are a STEM computer expert will be impossible to get.   If you have health problems and are gaining weight like crazy, demand everyday to get treatment and tests. Don't end up like me. Get diagnosed earlier. Well I tried my best.

The right kind of education can sometimes be a way out. Think practical not liberal arts. Liberal arts stuff, the internet is at our beck and call. One does not need expensive degrees to learn things anymore. The Internet is for the taking. Always live in an area with good libraries. There's two here.

One core component is health. However digging one's way out of poverty is far harder then ever before. They are designing things that way. The jobs are not dependable. We climbed out of poverty once, via a job, from Chicago the rural town, and then we fell back in again moving here, when he lost the job we moved here for.  Sometimes I've had mean types yell at me, and tell me "Well you two need to get yourself out of poverty" with bootstrap lectures. Well we did it once before escaping Chicago. They don't get that. I was still disabled but we did have our life change.

Things could have been worse if he never found his freelance work. So "poverty" even in itself can be relative. There's poverty where you still have an apartment and a level of well semi-dignified living, and then there's homeless poverty where the bottom completely falls out. There's levels a disability check will keep you from. I have been far poorer then now even.

10. Information about homeless shelters

Homeless shelters are not the salvation many think they are either. They can help so don't take me wrong on this but many are FULL and will tell immediately homeless people even poor women, "Sorry there's no room today!".  I have been friends with or known people who have been homeless in the past, they have told me things about that world. I avoided homeless shelters by the skin of my teeth but many people who are new to the fall down the ladder, expect more help then is really there. How do I say this, you can't always expect the calvary to rescue you. I've been in many spots where no calvary was coming and a friend had to rescue me or God Himself had to send strangers to do it. I hate those circumstances, most of the ones I am thinking of are where a natural disaster and fate took me to a bad place.

I suspect many of the homeless are scapegoats from narcissistic families. I had this discussion somewhere on my blog once upon a time, where people always think of the homeless, "Well they must have burned all their bridges!" Some get angry asking "Why doesn't that homeless person have any family to take them in? Look at me, it isn't that hard for a scapegoat to end up with no family. Some of us may have had friends or they died or they lived too far away or are too poor themselves to help. My husbands family except for one sister has literally died off. When I see homeless people now, I think "How many were the scapegoat and cast away or were forced to leave the family behind"?

11. Facing the Fear of Poverty

 Sometimes I do get scared a lot from being poor. The fear is weird to me. My husband has remarked I act like the desert is near, and soon I will be cast out. I know where this comes from, my poorer days in my youth? When I was young, I ironically hoarded money. My narc parents would laugh about how I was a miser. I really was. I probably was thinking of a great escape or something in the back of my mind.

 This week one day when I wasn't housebound, I was at the grocery store, and I thought I had two 20s and only had two tens, I had forgotten about spending other money. I usually know to the dime how much money I have, so this was an unusual slip up for me. I was embarrassed as we had to put food back and lower our bill from 24 dollars to 17. I was buying meat to go with food pantry food. Inner shame rose up in me. I felt scared and angry. Examining these feelings I asked myself, "Why?"

This is something I am working on. I am not sure where it comes from. Queen Spider did a number on my mind about poverty. She hated herself as the poor farm girl and decided to get money at any cost and did. This hatred was unloaded on me especially as I involuntarily became a poor adult. Sometimes I try to cope with these emotions. I am messed up when it comes to money. Money is the biggest taboo subject in America not sex.

12. Facing the Emotional Stigma of Poverty

Even with my family I believe I would have been cast out for good even if I had not gone no contact. People who are traveling to Europe, and who can afford a new car every two years, don't want someone like me around.

I believe even if I hadn't gone no contact myself, my worsening poverty would have caused the family to cut me off completely anyhow. I was being cut off more day by day.  All of them would travel the world, and buy new furniture and new cars. I am sure now my mother is enjoying her new $35-50,000 dollar vehicle, the second one bought in three years. I only know about it from recent hoovering.

Part of survival while poor is the emotional survival. The world will try and crush you. This is actually more dangerous then any of the physical lacks.  I am working to overcome the damage to my self esteem on so many fronts and money is a big bugaboo for me.  You have to learn to put your own survival first sometimes, and "harden" up to a degree, not in a bad way where you close down your conscience but looking out for your needs.

Even if I had done everything that doctor told me, and not gone on the emergency antibiotics, and waited until Wed when he finally did call, I would have been in the hospital by Monday or Tuesday. It's kind of like that. Same with being poor, you have to protect yourself. When one is vulnerable some toxic people will try and hurt you. You have to find the ones who will help. Don't take advantage of their good will of course. We don't go to the food pantries and community dinners if we can feed ourselves that month, and there are months we don't have to go.

My self esteem during the last 9 years at times took a massive battering. Since working on myself and going no contact with the family, I thought about these issues. Things are improving since the weight of expectations and being called a "failure" got lifted.  They were never there for me in any real way. I even started thinking more about my Chicago years and this may sound like a strange revelation, but my parents weren't the only ones who betrayed me, there were many other middle class and above members of my family, who took the tactic of "just let her die". My eyes were opened wide. My siblings were adults of certain means and knew what circumstances I was in.

A lot of my emotional survival while being a poorer member of society is refusing the judgments of narcissists. If you want to make it, you need to find people who will understand and have compassion. Those of you who are young and healthy enough to make it out of poverty, make sure no one's around you whose drilling a hole in your boat. I tell people on ACON message boards, keep job plans to yourself. Narcissists will do anything to keep a scapegoat especially down. Realize you are a valuable human being no matter your socio-economic status.

If you have any ideas, add yours, or discuss...

Suntopia: Helping People Help Themselves


  1. I believe your husband is right. That money is gone, the properties being severely mortgaged, and she is probably doing things that we would not even imagine doing to look like she is rich. And having 10 thousand dollar knicknacks is just crazy. Unless you own several car lots, or have invented something of incredible value, well, people don't do that. Not people in the normal range or even higher income bracket do that. And even I tend to believe people can be more practical, and those things sell to only the narcs.

    We have a free clothing depot in the small town. Lots of free stuff, people donate too, that other people can pick up as much as they want to, and its assumed that they need it. But these clothes have been seen in yard sales, people are picking them up in large bags and selling them, all of them are from nice expensive homes, the rich are taking it and selling them. I was shocked to hear that. But its true. New rules had to be made.

    Cause you know, thrift shops can be expensive. I like thrift shops, but lately I think it is almost as expensive as buying new. Close. And even one dollar store candle was priced at 5 dollars in a thrift store. I like candles because they are an OPA and will do lots to improve moods.

    I have been using some scent products such as these scent blocks that can get rather expensive, I order them. You can get them at Walmart too, but they are not as intense and don't burn as long. For my mood issues. But I do use them and I'm careful not to waste them. And I only buy the scents that seem to counteract my dark moods.

    I know around here that a lot of medication is covered for people on welfare, but not the things you need to take such medicines. Such as, you can get the insulin but not the needles. You have to pay for the needles. And small children who need asthma medications, need the face mask but that is not covered.

    I would like to suggest to you to use the food pantries, soup kitchens even when you don't need them. It will improve your state of well being, and help you prepare for the following month. If you are allowed to use it, use it. It is not breaking any rules. Or anything else you are allowed to use, use them. It is not taking advantage. Use the food co-op and the food pantries. Try to see if there is a place that gives out free clothes. But other than that I don't have much advice, you are doing everything that you can do.


    1. I am glad you have a free clothing depot. We are so big thrift stores don't offer us much but surely small and average size people can dress very well from them. I wish there was fat thrift stores, but fat people my size hold onto clothes until they literally fall apart. I had some clothes sent me from a deceased friend, I still wear. I know that sounds weird wearing someone else's clothes like that, I still wear her coat but it was only option I had.

      I have heard of rich people grabbing clothes and real antiques from thrift. I have a close friend in estate sales, and some people with cash, can go in and look for things of value most won't recognize and go to town. Goodwill is so expensive, I gave them up. There's one falling apart thrift store I went to, to get chairs, etc, that went out of business and another one I go to, but the prices even in the those places seem higher and the deals not so great. Because of my friend I am educated in antique values and know what things are worth but have no money to do anything with it. I tried to sell a few old antiques I got for dirt cheap years ago a few months ago but hit a dead end.

      Candles can be nice, I am probably am too fire phobic to burn any except in a power outage and then I keep a big candle in the sink so if it falls over, there won't be a problem. They are pretty though.

      I am glad you have medicines, disabled people who are low income can get meds now but I was on disability before this came in, and things were very scary, my first two years of disability, I could not afford medicine even while dirt poor. I remember even antibiotics costing 100 bucks a pop and generics were still rare. I fear Republican politicians coming in and taking us back to those days. I could not make it. They should cover the face masks and needles. Yes many medical things are expensive.

      One weird thing for us is no compression supplies are covered. My bandages are all worn out, and I'm on my last piece of tubigrip. I probably will get more from the MLD but I am always short on this stuff. Along with the no stamps and no card supplies went new compression supplies.

      Yeah you may be right about using the food pantries even when I don't need to. The short time always comes. I am housebound a lot but they will send food home to me. We went to the soup kitchen at the church today and waited for leftovers for tomorrow.

      No it is not breaking any rules. For our food co-op we will be going every time, we made arrangements regarding me if I am housebound.

      I asked for clothes for husband if they run across any bigger ones. So yes thanks for saying we are doing everything we can.

    2. Thanks, I think more and more my husband is right too. She ran around 24/7 and was never home. There was one 300 mile trip every few weeks--thats at least a few hundred bucks a pop for gas, meals out, etc, and the Florida thing was 1500 miles at least a few times a year with double the bills for double the household. She also paid 10,000 a year for sister's kids private school, tons of presents, etc. The outflow was immense. I have wealthier friends and know how fast even middle class/upper middle class can see money disappear. Some of them have to pay 10,000 co-pays for surgeries etc. How do two people who need 70-75 year old medical care, not have some major medical bills too even if on the healthier end? House insurance, taxes, estate taxes, on two homes, insurance for 5 cars, it's a lot of bills. Money is finite resource. We live on very little. I can go entire months and not buy anything but food, alcohol swipes for diabetes, and maybe one very cheap meal out which is always lunch because that's cheaper. All my books and magazines are read from the library. I saw only one movie Peanuts in the last 5 years.

      She also boasted to me which I didn't realize this before, that she liked going to casinos. It was one of our last fights where I said it's sick they are building all these casinos in our state when so many people are poor.

      I think the house has to be remortgaged to the hilt too, she put at least 50-60 thousand dollars in additions on it in 1999, and probably more work was done after I was gone.

      The knickknacks were all worthless stuff, nothing that accrues values, outside of some collector plates. I wonder if she got rid of the thousands of snowmen by now. She spent some huge money to buy this antique wagon to put flowers in at the front of the huge yard, it's probably rotted away by now.

      I think they sell many things marketed to Cluster B, so much appearance stuff is Narc territory.

  2. Forgot to mention your mother does have serious problems with money, I am sure of it. She stole your credit card before and she probably would have stolen everything from you if you didn't get away when you did. She is a hologram card of appearances.

    I could not imagine stealing from my kids. I could be in the ditch eating the worms and still I won't.

    1. It still floors me. I think the only reason I got to go away to college is so they could take out that loan too and she spent most of it, on other things while my dorm threatened to throw me out. I would not go to college again but have rehashed that story enough. She was a spendaholic, and I doubt that has changed. I grew up with two arguing parents about bills constantly, they'd scream and yell and then go right back to spending. Once they were 100,000 in debt, when I was high school, I only knew about it snooping through some papers. I had nothing to steal back then but credit. What gets me is she wouldn't apologize and acted like I "owed" it to her. She always was haranguing me about how much money I cost, even counting every piece of lunch meat in the fridge. I never could get proper clothing either as a teen. Her disrespect and hatred of me shown forth. My brother is a spendaholic too, massive debts, buys endless toys, lives lifestyle way higher then you think he would be. He would buy hundreds of dollars of computer equipment and think nothing of it.

  3. One way to survive is hide your good news from those who are close to narcs. Some "good news" might be when you are hanging out with your friends, have a great moment with your husband, or when you won a favorable decisions. I have been doing that for years, even though I did not know about malignant covert narcissism until 3 years ago.

    I did the same things as you do to survive with little money. One way I did that was different was not to move to a Republican city or a small city.

    I subscribe to cable/internet from my cable provider so I could get an entertainment and have access to high speed internet. I don't have a land-line phone. It is cheaper to hold a cell-phone account since I could pay $40 for unlimited local and long-distance phone calls, unlimited text messages and several features such as voicemail message. In addition, my plan includes 2.0 GB of data per month. I stopped using land-line phone plans in 2007 because the last provider changed me exorbitant fees for calling long distance and for zone charges within the city. I found land-line phone plan much more expensive than the cell-phone plans. On the other hand, the advertised $20 per year plan by using Magic Jack sounds like a great deal. I think it is the best best to check on reviews on this plan and whether the Magic Jack is really cheap. I read somewhere that it was $150 years ago; however, a blogger claimed it was $20 in 2014.

    Another way I survived is that I don't have make car payments and pay automobile insurance per month. My coworkers used to tell me that car payment, automobile insurance, and rents took a huge amount of our monthly income. Local people with disability uses paratransite or Ride program, but they were able to save on their rents if they live in a public housing apartments or houses. They might be able to get a discount in fares with their reduced fare ID card.

    Being broke is stressful. Every month, I pay my rent, cell-phone, cable/internet bill, electricity bill, dental insurance premium, and for bus pass, personal necessities, and then if I have extra money, I spread out money for 4 weeks so I could eat-out, enjoy entertainment, or buy something I want. For the next 3 to 5 months, I will pay graduate application related expenses so I will be paying it and cut back on entertainment and things I want. I will read books and watch movies or shows for entertainment instead.

    I will pray that you will get more resources so you will not be stressed out every money. I am stressed out now because I have little money to live on for the rest of this month.

    1. I agree hide all good news from narcs. They do sabotage. I believe there could have been sabotage behind the scenes done to us. My family is connected enough. I was still LC back then. I think letting narcs if you have to deal with any know as little as possible is the way to go. Yes be careful even of good times with friends or love and romance and good marriage times, they will do what they can to destroy your life if they "get jealous".
      Thanks for your ideas about saving money on cable and a cell phone. Cars can be expensive. We don't walk well either of us so that is one reason we have stuck with the car but I am going to use the bus more this fall and planning some medical appointments on the bus. I always believe in living on the bus lines or Dial a Ride territory, I have been too poor most of my life to depend on cars which get old and break down.

      Car repairs get expensive, if you are not doing a payment and have an old car, you are almost rebuilding that car from the inside out.

      Yes being broke is very hard. We have rent, car/renters insurance--required by law in my state, electricity, gas, internet/small amount of cable, co-pays on my medical bills, phone, co-pays on scripts, car repairs and food to cover. We also have some business related expenses pertaining to husband. [equipment, gas to go places, etc. Laundry too is an expense, as well as shampoo, toilet paper, laundry soap and dish soap.

      Yes some things get cut when other expenses come in. I know I had to cut many things, and its not always easy. I discussed us going down a tier to have more free money, but rental rooms and roommates are not appropriate for woman in my condition or a married older couple. I wrote about our housing snafus where I considered getting us into subsidized housing but in the future that is a likely outcome.

      Sorry you are stressed out about money. I know it is not easy. I try to simplify what I can but it seems life stays more complex then any of us want it to be.

  4. I'd add activism. This is less challenging than it sounds as the level of passivity is generally so high that doing anything at all helps. My current mini project is telling people about a free vaccine that was promised in a government budget six months ago. No one, including doctors and pharmacists, has heard of it. There is no publicity whatsoever. It saves each individual about $300 but I guess the government is trying to save the money while taking the credit for offering the vaccine. I go to every pharmacy I pass and ask the staff what they have heard about this vaccine. So far, nothing, so I tell them about it. My own doctor had heard nothing about it, but later after making inquiries confirmed that the offer was real. Yes, I know some people object to vaccines but some don't and at least people rejecting the vaccine aren't doing it because they can't afford the $300.

    1. I avoid vaccines as a general rule. I am not a complete anti-vaxxer and think vaccinations for polio, measles, etc and lock jaw are good ideas but I don't trust a lot of vaccinations like Gardisil, and various flu ones. I think it's good you did research and found out someone can save 300 bucks who wants a certain vaccination. I have had to research cheaper medical alternatives or figuring things out.

  5. Or you can take Q 1605's patented approach and not pay them anymore. I told one collector that he can call all he wants that tomorrow I am going to be sentenced for my part in a double murder. I never heard back from him. HAHAHAH As god is my witness I told him that. I can't wait to tell mt grand-kids about that one. Aiii good times. Good times.

    1. LOL I guess they knew you wouldn't be coming back then! Probably got them off your tail. I don't feel guilt over pretending to be non-English speaking, I also have played outraged roommate, "yes that darn Peep left without paying any bills, tell me when you find her!" :p Your grandkids will enjoy that one.

  6. Hi Peep,

    I tried to find if there was anyway to privately email you, but I couldn't find an option to do so. I just wanted to let you know how much your blog has helped me. I know it's not so relevant to this particular post, but I recently discovered your blog and have probably read nearly everything on here, and you are helping me be able to process my own childhood being raised by narcissistic parents in this insane American society.

    First of all, you are an incredibly talented writer. I appreciate so much the level of detail and how personal you get when discussing your upbringing and being an ACON. I related to so much of what you wrote about your childhood.

    I also agree with many of your political observations, as well as with your observations about American society. While on the surface we may appear to be opposite ends of the spectrum as you are Christian and I was born and raised in a Jewish family, I completely agree with you that the worship of the false gods (idolatry, really) of money, consumer goods, and narcissistic pictures to post on social media are causing this society to rot from the inside out.

    God bless you and keep on being awesome. Your work is truly appreciated.

  7. Hey Peep, I tried emailing but it didn't go through.

    1. Sorry about that, try this one instead

      I typed it wrong, sorry about that.

  8. For some people, present company excepted, it's as simple as quitting smoking and drinking alcohol.