Thursday, April 2, 2015

My Diabetes is Uncontrolled Now

Blood sugars ranging from 189-252. 191 before dinner last night and 201 this morning and this is on two diabetes meds. I was a controlled diabetic for 15 years. My feet don't tingle. I fear my vision could go too, but know I have some blurriness needing glasses. My usual fastings used to be in the 150-160 range. Ever since that very illness this winter I have not been right and struggled to keep them down. Diabetes causes me endless guilt and baggage problems. I even hate taking blood sugars, fearing the bad news for the day will hurt me. I have kept diet journals and I ate 1840 calories yesterday. Of course I have guilt about eating at all. My church is praying for me and I told my pastor I am worn out, they were understanding.

The doctor knows and they told me to go to hospital if I hit the 300s. They should be coming to see me soon. It may be insulin time. The doctors are concerned about my reaction to meds. It is very difficult. I have felt like throwing up on and off the last couple days and fought off a sore throat a few days ago and have thrush.  I have guilt and emotional pain failing to have lost more weight. If I find out I gained weight, don't think I have according to pictures, but I am always scared. I will be weighed in May at kidney doctor, I may ask them to put me under hospital observation and to get some weight off. I bloated BAD yesterday too. Sometimes Lipedema totally kicks me in the butt when I am stressed out and scared. Being stressed raises the blood sugars more too. The blood sugars stayed high on a day I moved around like crazy [for me], and high on the day I thought "I better rest".


  1. Peep, I'm completely at a loss here as I know you've been so faithful with following medical instructions but it's as if your body has declared war on you: The harder you try and succeed at each objective of your tx. plan, the more your body responds negatively.
    I can only imagine the fear and frustration you experience. I wish I could help some way. If you have any ideaslease let me know. Thanks.

    1. It is scaring me. Maybe my narc mother has a voodoo doll of me. It sure feels that way. LOL I am kind of scared because I have been keeping diet journals and was even more adamant on the eating calories, making sure I take a walk etc, and got sicker for all my trouble. My body is acting like I am drinking shots of whiskey, eating organ meats and custard pies at every meal, and I feel like it's Nelson saying HA HA on the Simpsons. I am pretty scared lately. :( Thanks for understanding TW.