Sunday, April 26, 2015

"Why Scapegoats Become Lifelong Victims"

"Why Scapegoats Become Lifelong Victims"

"Today I’m the black sheep and the “loser” of my family. I’m never included in family functions because of my poverty and the fact I’m “different” than the rest of them. Although they disapprove of me, I really became exactly what they needed me to be. My becoming a “loser” ensured they would always be winners.

Sadly we are set up to be life long victims by narcissist families. This same exact dynamic happened to me as you all know.

"Although as an adult I’m no longer bullied (and am Very Low Contact with my ex), people still try to push me around, treat me like a mental defective, leave me out of conversations, overlook me for promotions or raises at work, or just talk over or look through me as if I’m not there at all. When I say something, people act like they don’t hear me. It’s very hard for me to make friends or fight back when I need to because I was trained from an early age to be so very afraid of everyone. I’m the proverbial shrinking Violet and wallflower–the kind of woman my mother used to mock for being so “insipid.” I seem to have the opposite of charisma."

I relate to Otter here, I was trained to be afraid of people too. This is the worse thing our narcissist parents do setting up us for more abuse by the world.


  1. I just saw this. I was catching up on your recent articles, which I didn't have a chance to do for awhile. Thank you for reposting this. :)
    Lucky Otter

    1. Thanks Otter, I was going to post it for you on your blog, but forgot. I'm still reading, been shorter on time then usual lately. Some of it is me battling all the health related duties and needing to rest.

  2. I've been reading about your recent health problems. I am so sorry about everything you are going through and praying that you find your way back to health soon. -LO