I
tried my hand at some fiction to describe my life earlier on. With the
graphic zines, I figured this was a redundant enterprise and focused on
expressing things in drawn form, but kept the writing and decided I
would share it here. Names have been changed to protect the innocent and
GUILTY.
Budgie
is born with a giant smile on her face and is happy to be alive. Things
got worse as she has to deal with Queen spider and her minions later
than early days she is very happy The origins of Five Hundred Pound Peep
are dubious so thus Budge is shown popping out of the egg in “The Budge
is born”. Also called Peep, Budge or Budgie, Budgie is eager to see the
world, and is happy enough in that early time.
Then
things get a bit more dicey, as Peep deals with Queen Spider
[Mrs.Spyder and Mr. Spyder, who aren't very nice to little children].
Midge and John had children believing they were supposed to in those
pre-child free movement days, and definitely were overwhelmed and
annoyed by the whole ordeal. Only weirdos didn't procreate. Children
cost money, children made noise! Such was the outcome of wanton breeding
with little thought behind it. Their female middle child was an
unwanted extra. Mr. Spyder already had his son who looked just like him
and Queen Spider, her obedient Mini-Me [Mimi] who hung on her every
minute. Why were they having to take care of this burden, the child who
embarrassed them by being afraid of everything and hiding and for being
too smart and asking too many questions? For some reason, some people
who should never have had children, have too many, and the extras are
thrown away. This is something inexplicable in our world.
Supposedly
Midge laying back and thinking of England, fertilized the egg that
brought the yapping little presence who stared down two dark triad black
souls with her shiny big eyes. Budgie annoyed Midge. She would observe
Budgie looking at her, why does that little girl always have to nose
into everything? Why does she always want to find things out? She was
mad because she could read by the age of 3. The little girl seemed to
condemn her. Midge thought inside, “How I hate her”.
One day Budgie was watching the tv talk show Donahue,
and laughing, and Midge got angry, that's not a show suitable for
little children, how can she even understand what is going on? As
Mini-Me Mimi laid on the couch, Midge grabbed Budge by the scruff of her
neck and dragged her upstairs to her bedroom, and opened the door and
shoved her in, slamming the door and locking it. It was time to lock
the little brat up yet again! John had said “Don't let the neighbors find out, that you are keeping Budgie locked up in there!” “I won't!” said Midge.
“I will threaten her upon pain of death, so she doesn't scream out the
window like she did last time! I had to tell Mrs. Humperdink and Mrs
Dooray she was playing a game with her sister, to cover up why she was
screaming like a banshee! Wow she pisses me off. Can we give her back?
Ah that won't look good. “
Budgie
cried and cried, she was tired of being locked in her room. It was hot
and boring. She wanted to go outside, she looked at the rooms pink walls
and a few books scattered about and started to worry about when she'd
get to eat next. “Mommy” had failed to feed her lunch and she knew it
was already late afternoon. Would she be able to get a glass of water?
Would they hit her if she peed in trashcan again? Budgie noticed a hair
pin that had fallen out of Midge's hair, when she had been in her room
last, and she started to pick at the lock, it held the door fast but it
was a cheap bedroom lock. She picked and picked, and then all of a
sudden she heard a click, and she was able to creak the door open but
was too afraid to leave, she knew that would earn her a definite
smacking if not an out right beating. She closed the door shut again but
felt happy knowing she could get out if there was a fire. Getting out
meant freedom.
On
a later day, Budge sat in her favorite place on the front stoop of the
house, she could hear planes flying by overhead and would imagine
herself flying to get away. The drone of the airplane engines above
spoke of escape. The Spyder's didn't understand a little girl that just
wanted to sit and think and it made them angry. Thinking was a waste of
time, doing and making money and having a perfect house and yard is what
mattered! Budge pondered her escape, “These people hate me, I do not
belong here, there's gotta be somewhere I can go!”
A
few weeks earlier, her and Mr. Spyder had gone to the hardware store,
and she realized that this man who called himself her “father” did not
love her, so she probably wasn't even his child. She started screaming
to be rescued. “This man has kidnapped me! Save me!” Mr. Spyder scooped
her up as she struggled and squirmed to run away. “He is not my real father!” Worried
strangers gathered around. John's face grew red, and he grew hot with
anger, he wanted to unleash his wrath on the bratty hellcat putting him
at risk of being dragged off to prison. The store manager approached,
“Sir, you will have to step aside so we can see what is going on!” He
followed him to his office, yanking screaming and crying Budgie, who
still cried for rescue. He wanted to beat her right then and there, but
knew that would not look good to others. He'd rip her hair out or hold
her head under the water in the pool a minute too long later.
For
now he had a jam to get out of which meant telling these strangers,
that Budgie was really his daughter. He sat down in the Formica chair
across from the manager's desk, “She really is my daughter, my name is John Spyder. “ Here I will let you call her mother, to vouch for me.” The
manager called Mrs. Spyder who answered with a sweet smiling hiding her
rage at that troublesome Budge. For years Mr. Spyder would tell this
story to his friends, “That ungrateful brat, she almost got me
arrested!” The friends would nod and smile but no one ever asked why
Budgie wanted to escape so badly.
Budgie
had gotten a beating when she got home that night, not enough to put
her in the hospital, the Spyders knew good government jobs vanished if
you had to drag a beaten child to the hospital with black eyes, bruises
and broken bones but enough to make their message clear, “You better be quiet in front of others”. They smacked her, and pulled her hair until she cried.
Budgie
knew she wanted to run away, she wanted to find a new place to go and
be. Daddy was in the back yard busy hitting Johnny for leaving toys in
the lawn while he tried to mow. Mommy was upstairs, cleaning with Mimi.
Peep grabbed her brother's red wagon. She snuck quietly into the house
hoping Mommy would not hear her grabbing the cheese slices out of the
fridge or the box of Vanilla wafers out of one of the bottom cupboards.
She grabbed Raggedy Ann out of her bed, knowing she could not leave her
behind, and ran down to put her things in the wagon and leave.
The
Spyders lived in a suburban housing complex in the middle of nowhere.
It was soul-less suburbia that was out beyond the reaches of the moon.
The area offered one pool and community center, an elementary and high
school and one IGA and not much else among the dairy farms. Mr. Spyder
drove 40 miles one way to his big city computer government job. He was
gone a lot, and also taught at one college and took classes.
Budgie
remembered one school trip to do tie-dyes where she cried over not
having a white t-shirt to dye like everyone else and Mommy buying corn
from the farmers, and also the spicy garlic bologna made at the IGA but
most of her world encompassed endless streets of bi-levels and ranchers
that all looked the same. She often got lost, trying to find friend's
houses knocking on the wrong doors but she could find her house easily
since it was on the corner and Daddy had put a giant white fence around
their yard.
Budgie
walked slowly, she didn't want the rattling of the wagon to get Daddy's
attention, he was still yelling now something about tools at her
brother. He hadn't noticed her in a long time. She walked away down the
street, past the house across the street on the corner, down the way
from the Dooray's the farthest Mommy ever allowed her to go. She kept
walking, the houses seemed to go on forever at the Flowery Seasons housing
complex. There seemed to be no end to them. She got tired and rubbed her
feet sitting on one curb. The sun beat down.
She
started to cry, the roads of suburban houses stretched as far as she
could see. There was no stores, or place to sit down except the curb,
and no restrooms either. Budgie thought, “I better go back, because I don't see me making it anywhere”.
She ran and walked back. It took some time. Daddy was still mowing the
lawn and her brother had disappeared, maybe down the street himself or
next door to Chipper's house. She went inside. Mommy was watching TV. No
one had noticed she had left.
Sometime later, Mommy came and said “I
am sending you to your aunts for the summer” The rest of us are going
to take a vacation. My best friend Sister Jude is going to take you on
an airplane, and drop you off at your aunt's house". Budge found it
weird her family planned to take a trip without her, but did not
protest, she wanted to escape after all. Maybe she would get to have
another family. She had met her aunt a few times, and thought things may
be fun. Her aunt had come to visit before with other relatives, and
they had seen fire works and area museums. Her aunt Janet was always
interested in everything and smiled a lot. She enjoyed life, unlike
Midge who spent hours cleaning the kitchen. Budgie was excited about
leaving. It was a dream to finally get away when she had run away.
Mommy
seemed fed up and had gotten angrier and angrier with her. One day
Budgie had gone into the bathroom to show her, a book she was reading.
Mommy was cleaning off the sink, and Budgie said, “Look I can read this
Dr. Seuss book, A Cat in the Hat”, isn't this funny?”, and Mommy took
one look at her and said, “Leave me alone!” and then shoved her hard.
Budge ran crying into her bedroom.
Mommy
hated her, of this she was sure. Sometimes Budgie wondered if she was
adopted. Mommy had three covered baby books covered in white satin, one
for her, her brother and sister. She noticed while her sisters and
brother's had a lock of hair tape into the front page and multiple
pictures including ones of them as very little babies, her baby book was
nearly empty. There was one picture of her at around 7-9 months old but
nothing earlier. Budgie would say to her brother, who was a year older,
“I think they adopted me!” Budgie called her “mother” Mommy but the
word felt funny.
Mommy
was always angry and didn't treat her like other girls in the
neighborhood mothers who seemed happy with them and bought them pretty
dresses. Normal mothers sometimes got irritated or told Budge or her
friend to go play upstairs or outside, and sometimes drank wine and got
overly attached to their soap operas, but didn't shove them, or pull
their hair and they sometimes smiled and looked happy and talked to them
instead of yelling at them. Mrs Spyder did a lot of housework and
watched soap operas all day but was angry and pissed off all the time.
There was never any kisses, hugs or nice pats on the head. Mrs. Spyder
considered her an annoyance and a burden. Budgie learned to hide out as
much as possible but Mrs. Spyder never left her alone enough either.
One
day Budgie was outside in the backyard playing when she went by the
fence and she overheard her mother talking to a neighbor lady down the
street. “That little bitch is too smart for her own good!”.
Budgie realized with horror, Mommy was talking about her. She felt
scared inside, and a pit started forming in her stomach. “She is too
weird!” Mrs. Spider spat out. The friend while looking shocked nodded
and pretended to agreed, “Your daughter is not normal.” “I don't know what to do”, Mrs Spider said, “she is impossible”. Budgie sat back and felt even more afraid. Her mother hated her so much!
Budgie
wasn't sure why Mommy hated her so much. She didn't like Mommy that
much either. She scared her. Her friend Teresa's mother always seemed to
like her and told her she was very smart. Mrs. Dooray too. Another
neighborhood lady said it was great Peep could read already and made a
joke about little pitchers having big ears and this pitcher knowing way
too much.
Budgie's
visit to her aunt was not the first time she'd been sent away from
home. Budgie had been sent to live in her cousin's bright pink bedroom
when she was even younger. Her memories were vague but she remembered
one grandparent, her aunt, and her weird balding husband, and hiding a
lot in the upstairs. Her time there didn't seem very pleasant either.
They seemed drunk all the time. One grandfather always seemed to
grabbing her. He put a wig on her head. Her Aunt Maybelline cackled and
giggled and seemed fake. The adults scared her. Her brother was there
too but seemed to ignore her a lot. She remembered her sister on the
couch saying “I can't walk”, and her parents being frantic and then suitcases were packed and there they were after her sister was put in the hospital.
Mrs.
Spyder's best friend was a nun, she was one of those modern nuns who
did not wear habits, but Budgie had to call her “sister”. She wore
sensible sweaters and lots of black skirts. Later she would leave the
convent but back then she was SISTER. Mommy said she worked with bishops
and Cardinals and was very important and had multiple advanced degrees.
She seemed nice enough to Budgie.
One
day Budgie told Sister Jude that her parents were mean to her, hit her,
and locked her in her room. Sister Jude, just laughed, “Oh you little kids make up stories, your parents love you very much”.
Budgie liked it when Sister was there, because Mommy and Daddy would
act nicer, they wouldn't yell so much and wouldn't slap her. Budgie
realized Sister was kind of like Mommy when she burst out crying on the
plane because her ears hurt and she could not hear. She was irritated
with her. Otherwise, Sister Jude was nice, but she was never going to
rescue Budgie.
Budgie's
aunt lived in a rented white bungalow out in a rural area. Across the
street were farms and endless cornfields, same as Budgie's grandmother's
house which wasn't far away. Aunt J was young and hip, and had long
black hair she wore like an Indian and wore beads and moccasins. Mrs.
Spider wore her hair in a helmet hairdo and mannish clothing and
polyester pants, but Aunt Janet looked like a model and sometimes wore
dresses and long leather boots and belt buckles. Aunt Jane had a baby 6
months before. Her husband who was Budgie's uncle who'd go to New Mexico
years later to “find himself” and write a book on New Age
Affirmations.They had married straight out of high school.
Their
house was straight out of the 1970s with orange counters and in one
corner a Indian rattan chair with a huge round disc-like back. Aunt
Janet stayed home to take care of her baby while her husband worked. The
living room held her newly purchased black leather couch. She made a
tidy welcoming comfortable home. Budgie and Aunt Janet spent a lot of
time outdoors. There was a circle driveway in front of the house, and a
broken down shed that had a very large garden next to it. Aunt Janet.
loved plants and they blossomed under her care. She had huge broccoli
and cauliflower plants, Budgie loved their huge green and white
roundness, big flat leaves and crisp smell.
Mr. Spyder hated Budgie's aunt and uncle and would yell about “the Hippies”.
Mr. Spyder looked just like brunette Archie Bunker and yelled like him
too except he wasn't married to a simpering Edith but a tough as nails
Midge. Mr. Spyder was into computers, cars and repairs and dressing like
the actors on the show the Madmen. Aunt Janet was into art, health
foods and Native American pottery, crafts and culture. She loved camping
and buying dream catchers. Budgie bonded with her. At times she would
tell Budgie, “Be quiet the baby is sleeping” and other reminders
but she made Budgie nice meals and gave her fun things to do while
helping in the garden. The days passed by pleasantly. Budge loved her
new life.
The
summer proceeded. Mrs.Spyder had been vague about how long Budgie was
going to stay but months passed. Budgie went on trips with her aunt and
baby to visit the dam, the woods, some museums and other relatives. They
visited the neighbors across the street who owned Great Danes, as tall
as Budgie. She would play with her baby cousin, and would read her
Peanuts comic strips and started her sketchbook where she drew herself
as “Lucy” and the other Peanuts kids, Linus, Charlie Brown, Lucy and Pig
Pen. Aunt Janet encouraged her reading and drawing talents.
One day, Budgie had Aunt Janet say she may have to go back home. Budgie said directly, “I want to stay here and live with you!” Tears sprung to her eyes as she begged her aunt, “Please let me stay, I won't be too much trouble!” “Don't send me back there.” Budgie
didn't know why she couldn't stay. Mrs. Spyder was happier most likely.
Budgie was happier. Aunt Janet and Uncle Rickie and baby cousin Arnie
seemed happy to have her as a member of the family, “Why did she have to leave?” Years later her brother would tell her, “You made Mom really mad, when you told everyone you wanted to live with Aunt Janet for good!” Budgie responded, “Why didn't she let me?”
When
Budgie returned “home” she could tell Mrs. Spyder was really mad. Mommy
was more livid and gave her mean looks. She knew she was going to be
made to pay for choosing her aunt and letting other family members know
about it. At 5 years old she was already screwed. When Mommy wanted
revenge, the smirks were gone, and her green eyes got colder and harder.
Budgie hoped she would live through the week.
Mommy
had cleaned out her bedroom and gotten rid of all her old things, there
was new white furniture with pretty flowers on it. Mommy took her
suitcases into her and her sister's bedroom, “Look I got you both a new bedroom set, don't you like it?” Budgie responded, “It's nice but I wanted to stay with Aunt Janet!”
Mommy got really mad and slapped her hard, “What's wrong with you?” and
stormed out of the room locking the door as Budgie cried. The furniture
was nice, and Mommy had bought her sister new little glass animals that
looked interesting and she wanted some, but she missed her other life.
Mrs.
Rice was a teacher that was kind to Budgie. When young Budgie could
read very early and she did well in school, it was a source of some
comfort in an other wide harsh world. Books from the time of Dr. Seuss
and Charles Schultz had become Budgie's escape. That year, she had an
open class room and did her lessons on blue SAT cards. Her teacher was
encouraging her to study at her own pace and she believed in creativity.
This is when Budgie started sharing her drawings with her classmates
too.
Mrs.
Spyder put Budge and her shorter and thinner sister into ballet class,
every week on Saturday morning, they would go and practice. Budgie was
the biggest girl in the class, and a head taller then all the other
girls her age. Ballet was the last activity a fat clumsy child on the
autistic spectrum should have been placed in. Their teacher was thin,
and young. and a lot of the activities seemed to include spinning around
and putting legs up on bars. Mimi enjoyed the activities while Budgie
found some of it fun, the teacher seemed frustrated with her a lot
telling her, that she needed to “follow directions” and “only bad girls
didn't listen””. Mrs. Spyder said all the time girls are supposed to be
pretty, petite and slender and Budgie was none of the above, and should
have been born a boy.
Budgie
was not a thin gazelle,who could kick lithe legs several feet into the
air, there was no appearing to float, or giant jumps into the air. She
got dizzy just turning around once. She would trip and sprained her
ankle almost every week.
Once
there, the Spiders told her it was time for rehearsal and she had to
get dressed in this white lacy ballet dress, and go with her class on
stage. Budgie was not happy about this. She got nervous and cried, “I don't know my lines.”
She knew this stage was not a pleasant place for girl like her. Her
parents tossed her into the back seat of their midnight blue 1967 Chevy
Bel Air station wagon and drove to the community center for the show.
Budge ran out of her mother's grip and found a bunch of boxes to hide
in. Mrs. Spyder was lived and muttered “How dare this girl embarrass me in front of my community”
Mimi
had already done her dance show with her age group the week before,
and it had been a success. Mrs. Spider like a stage mother from hell
threw Budgie out onto the stage. Terrified and frozen, she forgot her
props-the flowers that each dancer held. She remember her dance steps
but forgot to smile. The Spyders turned to each other, in disgust and
decided any investment in Budgie was a waste of time. She didn't make
them look good.
The
Spyders moved to a new town, it was a rich suburb next to a huge metro
city known for lawyers and corrupt politicians. The bicentennial
colonial style was in full swing and 1776 was in the air. It was the
year when the Spyders moved from the oddly isolated housing development
in the middle of nowhere with just an IGA a few miles away to a more
established town with a library, malls, and things to do. Budgie found
some friends, but remained an outcast shy and quiet, and went for public
school kids in her neighborhood and Vietnamese refugee kids, who were
more understanding to those to outsiders to American culture. Budgie
would eat spicy meat and rice out of bowls at their houses, and listen
to their parents speak Vietnamese. For some reason her Vietnamese
friends loved Jerry Lewis, something she never understood or got.
The
favoritism for her sister had increased ten fold. Mimi could do nothing
wrong. She was the little angel, always neat and perfectly dressed.
Mommy didn't care that she got Cs and Ds in school after all Mimi had
been sick and got behind. Mommy criticized Budgie for sleeves that were
never in the right place.
Budge and Mimi got up for school. Budgie wished she could sleep all day. Mommy was always calling her lazy and yelling at her. “Why are your legs and butt so much fatter then other girls?” Budge
felt confused as to why she was so fat. The other girls ate candy,
cookies, Frito's, and drank chocolate milk and orange Fay-go soda.
Unlike other girls, she had to deliver newspapers for an hour and half
every afternoon and Saturday and Sunday morning on her bicycle, so when
teachers told her exercise was supposed to make you lose weight, Budgie
couldn't believe it!
Mrs.
Spyder ruled the refrigerator with an iron fist, not one morsel passed
out of there without her notice. Mrs. Spyder would bellow through the
house if a chicken leg went missing out out of a whole bucket or if Budge
somehow managed to snatch one slice out of a 100 piece box of Kraft
cheese. While meat and potato dinner portions were generous enough
Budgie's house was not a place of any free snacking. Mrs. Spider even
bought padlocks to snap on the front of the freezers, because Budge's
brother Johnny Jr. loved ice cream and would sneak eat it with a spoon
right out-of-the-box.
The
Spyder children were given the same nutritionally void food daily. So
for breakfast, they had some insulin resistance creating sugary cereal.
Budgie's choice was Life cereal and Mimi would stick by Honey nut
Cheerios for the next 40 years. Lunch was three Chips Ahoy cookies in a
plastic bag, a garlic bologna sandwich with iceberg lettuce, later
switched to leafy green lettuce as the family fortunes rose, and and a
stack of 30 or so Pringles, and/or Lays potato chips. Carrots and
celery sticks would make an occasional appearance but whenever Mrs.
Spyder was upset over Budgie's weight, she'd cut her sandwich in half.
At
times, weird foods would appear in the house for Daddy to eat, when
heart problems forced on the Pritikin diet. The low fat craze was just
getting started and weights would skyrocket in America. During Friday's
during Lent, the baloney sandwich would be swapped out for tuna fish
mixed with mayonnaise and celery. Back then Budgie was not allergic to
potatoes and fish.
Budgie
got up and was running late, today was a carrot sticks and celery and
half a sandwich day. Budge went into the kitchen, her sister Mimi
already being up for some time was busy scarfing down her gleefully
smiling yellow goldfish crackers. No one else in the house was allowed
to touch them.
Mrs. Spyder told Budgie, “You are getting so fat, it's horrible, you can live without breakfast since you are so late and would not get out of bed.” Budgie cried, “I'm hungry”,
her stomach was growling full force. Budge was hungry all the time. She
hated how skinny kids could eat three squares a day with maybe one
snack thrown in and not be punished all the time. Their bodies were nice
to them, they weren't the ENEMY. They could be who they were. They
could do cartwheels and climb on jungle gyms and be happy. Their mommies
didn't hate them.
Budgie
and Mimi made their way to school. St. Anne's Catholic school was right
across the street. The kids already were laughing when Peep came by, it
made her nervous ever since she hit the third grade, the kids had gotten
meaner. She used to be more normal and was pretty much ignored back
then. She missed those days. Teasing went up and down with body weight.
Third grade brought more curves, a bigger stomach and thighs, Budgie was
sunk.
Budgie
felt angry, why didn't they ever leave her alone, it sucked they were
always picking at her, and even if she cussed them out or threw a fit or
ignored them nothing worked to stop them. The adults seemed to agree
with the bullying and never stopped it. She would beg teachers after
school but Budge would be told, “You need to ignore it, they look for a reaction, you know.”
Budgie would remain silent and totally block out the mocking, she would
pretend she was someone else and not their target, but it never ever
stopped them. It made it worse. Being a robot didn't work and fighting
back didn't either. What was she supposed to do?
One
girl as she crossed the front parking lot sneered “Tub o' Lard!”.The
boys always talked about her big butt and legs which made Budgie very
self conscious. She hated boys, who always seemed to be even skinnier,
while being the biggest pigs eating whatever they wanted. A few girls
joined the “lard” girl, and started laughing and pointing. Budgie ran
behind the school building, and hid and the bell rang and she didn't
line up with her stupid class. “Why did they always make you line up at
school like you were a stupid puppet?“ she thought.
Softly Budge sang the lyrics of Pink Floyd's “Another Brick in the Wall” “We don't need no education, we don't need no thought control”......She
sat on the bench and leaned her head back. All the kids were gone, she
enjoyed the silence. Ten minutes later she walked into class, Sister
Cornelia was angry that she was so late as Billy the bully went on about
earthquakes, saying “Boom” with every step she took. She wished she was
really an earthquake and could put him under a giant pile of rubble.
Sister
Cornelia assigned problems in math. Budge hated math, which was not
like reading or history where she excelled. Instead of doing her math
problems, she got out her latest Stephen King novel and hid it behind
her math text book. “Screw this class”, Budge thought. She thought
Carrie was a wimp to get beaten up in the gym shower and what was a
tampon? At the end of the book all hell broke loose. Carrie would have
her day.
Budgie
closed her eyes and imagined lighting the classroom on fire with her
mind. She didn't want to take anyone out like Carrie, but wanted her
classmates to finally show some respect. They would run screaming as
their desks burned in shock at her newly gained powers. Sister Cornelia
interrupted her day dream. The nuns didn't like her choice of horror
novels and weird fascination with Charles Addams comic books, she
checked out old ones from the 1950s from the public library. They were
always confiscating her books, even once swooping up a copy of “Late Great Planet Earth”
, and lecturing her parents about Budgie's choices in books. The only
freedom Budgie had was in reading so she was sick of the penguins and
their endless rules.
Budgie
was sent to the corner, like always. Mary Ann in the row in front of
her starting to have a nose bleed. Sister Cornelia had to take her to
the nurse. This gave her a 5 minute reprieve from being watched by her
teacher. As the obedient class continued with their math problems, Budge
ran into the cloakroom. It was dark in there but not too dark to see.
Her classmates gym shoes, coats and lunch bags were all lined up. The
smell of gym socks and bologna sandwiches free of refrigeration let out
an interesting aroma. Budgie's stomach growled even harder from that
morning, and she had the thought, “I bet there's some tasty sandwiches
in here, maybe even some with cheese!” Budgie grabbed Billy the bully's
lunch first, it was time for some pay back. He had a ham and cheese
sandwich and his Mom had packed a giant dill pickle too.
Budgie
thought of all the kids who were always making fun of her, it was time
for some sweet revenge. Budgie took a bite of his sandwich and wolfed
down half of it. Crossing this line, Budgie started going through lunch
bags for the most interesting food. Anna had a hard-boiled egg, Yum! She
took a few sips of Martin's thermos with a tasty tomato soup in it.
With her hunger abated, she kept thinking about all those skinny kids
abusing her and thought, “If I can't eat in peace, neither can they!”
She
tossed down the rest Billy's lunch and squished it. Food and lunch
items poured out of the cloakroom, classmates came running. Sister Celia
had only been gone for a five minutes, the class was in a giant uproar.
Budgie was fed up and ready to fight and start punching and so she did.
She was beyond pissed. She grabbed her classmate's hair, she saw red
and fought 10 kids at once. Sister Celia came back and was in shock.
Budgie had destroyed her classroom. Sister Celia ran down the hall
crying for other teachers and they came and dragged Budgie away kicking
and screaming. She almost got expelled, if the Spyders didn't pay
tuition and donated lots of money to the church, Budgie would have been
in public school the next day.
Mrs Spyder never defended Budge, if
anyone was going to pick on Budgie, it was going to be her and the
others were just adjuncts to the big tear-down. Budge became a budding
atheist as Sister Helen told her that God was unhappy with her and on
the side of her mocking classmates. What could be done? The nun recoiled
as Budgie shouted, “There is no God!” and the shocked nun muttered about
possessed children under her breath.
Summer
finally began and Budgie escaped her babysitter. The Spiders kept her
penned up as tight as a lab rat except when she was put to work
delivering newspapers for 2-3 hours every afternoon and every weekend
morning. Babysitters meant blessed freedom. Peep able to go for miles on
her bike from all the newspaper delivering wanted to see the world away
from her school and route. She escaped into the giant city park with
big woods, and a stream, it was almost like being in the wilderness with
no one around. She was glad. She dreamed of the day, she could escape
for good.
