What Happened to Debi Thomas?

Debi Thomas Broke, Living in Bug-Infested Trailer.

This reminds me of the story of the lady who played Joanie Cunningham on Happy Days? Her real name was Erin Moran.  She had a drug problem which definitely complicated her circumstances. It seemed the world fed on her like sharks when the story broke she was homeless. The same seems to be happening to Debi Thomas.  What has happened to Debi Thomas?

This world loves you when you are on the mountain top but unless you stay there, they are ready to kick you in the face. One pundit would say, "You're only as good as your last work", or something along those lines. It is odd she just couldn't get a doctor related job but maybe the constant required  hoop-jumping destroyed things for her there.  Maybe she lacks the money to update a license. Her practice collapsed for whatever reason. Today I was told a local radiology office is going out of business. The medical establishment is having some troubles not really widely talked about.  While people are getting emergency care, a lot of preventative and elective surgery is falling by the way side, so how would an orthopedic surgeon do in today's environment? Maybe she could not afford to transfer her license to a new state.

 The reality show may be a ply out of desperation rather then a PR stunt. The strange ramblings got me lost many times. With the odd 'get rich' schemes included, something is very wrong here. It seems like people grasping at straws to me.  It's hard to know what is happening here. The Tea Party and pissed off Republican set sure are reaming here out over at her Go Fund Me page. They are angry.  I have to admit I wondered myself why not just go get jobs? It seems they are more employable then a lot of people who can't get work but there may be more to the story. However, the controllers have done a great job getting the poor to turn on one another. Perhaps her story is meant to outrage us in general and get society to label those who fail after success as "losers" and "victims" who deserve no better and who need their "lives fixed". Remember my other articles where I have stated avoid the fixers?

 

 

Click here to support Help Olympian Family - Debi & Jamie by Debi Thomas

This cause has been developed as an emergency fund for Dr. Debi Thomas, her fiancé, Jamie Looney, and their family to restore financial stability after severe sudden financial losses over the past couple of years associated with a combination of financially crippling life challenges.

 

I went digging trying to find out what happened to her medical career? I don't know if this article gives us some clues.

 She was upset with the lack of patient care in 2006. Did she pay for this whistle-blowing? Did she pay for disagreeing with her bosses over bad patient care and neglect? I noticed in the video discussing the reality shows and get rich schemes, she seemed upset by trends in medicine. I find myself wondering what happened. If the hospital she worked with had limited surgery theatres how much work could she do?

Surgeon Criticizes Hospital Leaders

Dr. Debi Thomas, a world champion figure skater turned orthopedic surgeon, lent her considerable prestige to…

 

I have seen a lot of articles talking about her struggles with her alcoholic husband and others surmising she had serious mental disorders. Losing everything like this would be enough to affect one's mental health so what came first, the chicken or the egg?  I don't know.

 

 Maybe she got burnt out. Think about it, you compete in the Olympics and win a bronze in one of the sports that takes years and years of intense training. After that you go and get a college degree and do the long haul of medical school and residency. Maybe she just got old and tired. One sad thing about our society since there are fewer safety and social nets, more people are slipping through. There are once SUCCESSFUL people who slip through or slid down. My husband tired from his 14 hour newspaper days. Sometimes this happens in middle age to people as they have less energy.  They slow down and the whole thing falls apart. The reality show ideas and the rest seems like the desperate ploys of people trying to tread water as fast as they can.

 

Will thinking "positive" make us rich? In the above Los Angeles article, it seems she was trying to stand against reduced patient care in 2006. She could be the type of person who is willing to take up for the underdog and not all organizations will like that very much. The word "black-ball" is one that came to my mind. Did some narcissists gang up on her? Was the destruction of her career something that snowballed outside her control? What kind of institution was she sent to? Did she disagree with it's philosophies?

 

 

She needs to stay away from Iyanla. the New Ager who will tell her to think positive and all her problems will be solved. My mother loved Iyanla bestsellers which gives me pause. The New Age philosophies that teach that you totally control your own life and it's outcome, are beneficial to the powers that be in this society. This is where they get every person to blame themselves individually and easily turn people against each other.

From such types you never get real help. Fishing poles are never thrown, just a few fish from those full of resentment. Even if you want to craft your own hook, people get angry.  Funny how Oprah never helps anyone get a job even with all her power and money.  One thing watch out for narcissists who want to enjoy keeping you down. Mood disorder NOS doesn't necessarily mean bipolar disorder. It could include even depression and natural reaction to life's circumstances.

 

 

Iyanla talks to her in a very patronizing tone, which distresses me. "Are you willing to entertain the possibilities that your brain is not functioning?" Sure, it's called stress and poverty, it's called living with bed bugs. How does embarrassing someone on national TV help with any mental problems? Was she paid for this appearance? How is she supposed to be lift herself up, and dig herself out while being told her brain is not functioning? Maybe the next idea they will get is labeling poverty itself as a "mental illness". Oh. I better not give them any new ideas.

This is one oppression the poor are under. Such types will spit in a poor person's face and berate them for not thinking of "positive" ways to escape poverty. Iylana is a New Cage con artist who as Oprah's sychophant has helped advance the false "believe and achieve" gospel. Poor Debi, I wish I could warn her. These people won't offer real practical help. They will just teach you self condemnation. The way out is not more beating yourself up and being beaten down. Hey I don't have all the answers but that hurts instead of helps. The criticizers who jeer aren't the ones paying your bills. Some of us ACONs have just managed to escape. I hope Debi can too.

 

There does seem evidence she is caught up in a bad relationship, with domestic abuse. It seems she says things have improved. We don't have the facts there.  If it is truly abusive and no changes have been made I hope she can get out of it. I don't like the fact that her family is gone, being rubbed in her face. What happened to her family? Did they abandon her as she slid down the ladder? Imagine being someone who realizes the hard way, you are only as good as your last skating trophy.

 

 

This video is especially revelatory. Win a bronze at the Olympics and it's still not good enough? What disheartens me here, is such a person driven like Debi Thomas even making it to the Olympics is especially vulnerable to a narcissist playing "Are you a winner or a loser" games on her. The mind screw being done to her here, is absolutely nauseating. Every competition people face distractions, and questioning themselves, well maybe the narcissists don't so they don't relate. Debi seems to be someone who still has a heart. She failed to be a good narcissist robot who lacked concern over an international skating contest.

 

 

Debi cries, "I did the best I could." Did Iyanla say "No you didn't"? My hearing isn't so good. This is the main message in this society, "You did it to yourself." "You are poor because you did it!" Now think about this, this is a woman who was an ACHIEVER most of her life, she lost a business, she suffered in troubled relationships, she could or could not have serious mental health issues, and now she is being unloaded on again. In the King and Queen of the Mountain world we live in, one thing I have realized seeing things from the bottom of the mountain, is the narcissists keep busy kicking everyone in the face, who struggles even a little bit, and if there is a lot of troubles, they can go to town. Troubles are to be exploited. That's one bad thing about fame, and Debi is vulnerable to it. This is not a world where one can admit troubles, without facing a barrage. We have too many wicked ready to patronize and judge someone.

 

We don't know the whole story here. Who knows what her upbringing was like? If you have heard of the film Little Girls in Pretty Boxes, maybe you can guess some of what I am hinting at here. She could be a PTSD or CPTSD case from that alone. The last thing she needs is more condemning controllers. However it sickens me to see someone set upon like this exploited, her poverty and troubles used by some to kick her in the face and hold judgment. Even if she made some bad decisions and needs mental help, metaphorically stoning her will only hurt.

There is something insidious about these celebrities on top are now homeless poor and failure stories to me. The narcissists in charge seem to be advancing them constantly now.  Here the message remains the same, that you can't look at the world around you or different factors, but must always blame yourself. So wonder people are growing more depressed and despondent. It is not a message of hope or healing but one of blame and shame. No real help or lifting one's self up will come from the finger waggers and do-gooders using your troubles to shine next to.

New York millennials can now rent a mom for $40 an hour

Need a Mom? Now you can rent one! This made me laugh and reminded me of the people who sold "hugging". Is there a money back guarantee if you get a narcissist or sociopathic Mom? I hope they screen them.

Need a Mom? Now you can rent one.

Smakintosh: A Hatred Without Cause

Narcissists do hate without a cause. It is good that scripture addresses this. Many ACONs have asked themselves why do narcissists hate them so much? With our own parents, we asked ourselves why were we so hated? I was hated by a very young age. When I was just 4 years old, I remember my mother shoving me away and knowing she despised me to the core of her being. Many of us have faced this. There are people who gave me smiles and grins and were great actresses even for a while who turned out to despise me too same as my mother. Many of us live under the weight of this hatred, and Smakintosh wisely warns us of what scripture states here, that hating without cause is a condition of the wicked. We have to stop blaming ourselves when a narcissist hates us.

Many of them hate us with no cause. I have been hated. I'm having a time in my life where I never have had so many enemies, but one will create enemies once they walk out of the narcissistic fog. You start standing up for yourself.  You end what you thought were "friendships". You alter some relationships forever. You stop putting up with endless criticism and being put down. You confront and then walk, and their hatred grows. They never apologize, they never try to make amends, they only speak of their own "rightness" and "superiority" in their moral narcissistic darkness. One thing for me to add to the red flag list as a warning for predators, is stay away from people who never apologize or admit they are wrong and always focus on your faults.

I have a lot of enemies now. I am staying away from them and hope they stay away from me. I want peace in my life. I won't be silenced on my blog however warning of narcissists or other ACONs that they need to get away. Those bible verses of the wolves surrounding a person, it can feel that way.

 You start taking out the narcissistic trash and the numbers of narcissists that surround you can be shocking. A real friend or loved one is someone who stands up for you, those that seek to destroy you are only out to hurt out of their own envy and "hatred without cause."  We must get away from them. Us ACONs can be prone to narcissists entering our lives due to our upbringing, clearing your life of them can be quite a process.

With my mother, if I had a loving one, things would have been completely different, same for others who decided they hated my guts without cause. There is spiritual darkness to someone who hates an innocent child and even spiritual darkness to the narcissists who decide no one is good enough and who spend their lives ripping people to shreds to elevate themselves. Some of these people even call themselves Christians which is even more frightening.

Did any of you ever ask yourselves, "What did I ever do to this person?" I have asked it when it came to narcissists many times. The fact of the matter is we didn't do anything. Some just hate to hate.

I Loved the Peanuts Movie Too

I loved this movie so much too, I'm going to get a DVD copy. It was so wonderful and sweet. The ending will surprise you, I don't want to give a spoiler out. It just was so great.

Lives Worth Living

Self-Respect

From the book Psychopath Free:

"At some point you will find instead of trying to gain everyone's approval, you are wondering why people can't be more like you."

From the book Boy Meets Depression

"If no one chooses you, choose yourself. If no one accepts you, accept yourself."

Narcissists destroy our self respect growing up. The knife to our soul is the one that bleeds out the feelings of self respect and dignity for ourselves.  This is one way they soul murder and some people they do complete break, taking away all self respect for their entire life. They literally make people wake up hating themselves for life. She didn't take all of mine away but I'm working to reclaim what I can. Self-respect aka DIGNITY is something all ACONs will fight for and no contact is one way to make a fight for it.

They tell you that you are nothing over and over and you are always the last in line. Everyone else comes before you in importance.  Mine would go running to extended cousins and relatives I never heard of before thinking of me. Supposedly I was her "daughter" but she treated me with less regard then a neighbor three doors down. They treat you like a worm or a slave. In 2013, as you all know, I was very sick. At this time, my decision for no contact was made, because I thought, "I can't die in this position, where I die as a slave on my knees before the narcissists, I have to walk no matter what." Another thought was, "I can't sell out".

Two relatives had warned me she had me cut out of the will. One told me more indirectly, "Your mother will never take care of you" and one said it point blank. She told me my mother sat in front of some friends and her, and laughed about how I and my brother had no idea but that we were both cut out and would get the surprise of our life. This was very soon after my mother's giant insurance pay-out and around the time legal papers would have been drawn out.

 If you think about it, that's pretty sick.  Even if she had not cut me out, I couldn't "sell out" being demeaned the rest of my life out of fear of poverty or forever destitution. Money was the trap and the shackles on my wrists keeping me in the game, especially during the times I needed some help. If any of you ever think I am overly-interested in financial things, this is where it is rooted in. I know it. Even the idea of having financial security to feel "safe" from my mother is a dream of mine that I wish would be fulfilled. I literally beg for this from God. I don't want her to have the satisfaction or glee of seeing me in the streets. When I worry about being on the bus or going without groceries, I do struggle with the anger, of her life being so easy, and mine so hard.

One thing I am working on now, is claiming self-respect and not letting the poverty destroy it. I have realized that I missed some important adulthood milestones from being disabled so young. I achieved only a semi-professional life that was very short lived. I did not get that sense of empowerment that can come from a decent career or work-life that can bring a sense of security or dignity to one's life. It is a major struggle. Watching my husband struggle since his lay-offs was a double whammy.

This is one trap that keeps people in the Narc net, especially if they are an impoverished scapegoat. They look to the day where they will be "free", and have money, but then in this life there are no guarantees. Some of these narcissists as they suck energy from people live a very long time. I have heard of people who are almost elderly themselves at the beck and call of a narcissistic parent who lives on to torture them. People become slaves to the narc, fearing being cut out of the will. Wills are used for abuse, and a hammer over one's head. Some narcissists even threaten to cut people out of their will every time they are angry. Here's the real deal, if they already hate and disrespect you, it's very likely you are cut out anyway.  One loses self-respect, when in this position. This is one reason my mother can get away with so much. Her money. If she had no money, who would put up with all the abuse?  My brother was in shock I walked, "But you are so poor and this is your only chance to have anything". I didn't want to be among the crowd kneeling before her because of the money. He lives having to make sure she is pleased and he remains dependent on her largesse. This means never angering "Mommy" even into his 50s.

I was groomed to be dependent and desperate. None of us three children achieved what would be called worldy "success". My sister attained wealth via marriage. Us other two struggled, me more so. When I found out my mother had huge connections that were denied us and even helped cousins and others this told me what I wanted to know. When I was trying to get a teaching job, and denied two, due to medical reasons and ended up with the alternative school job, my mother's best friend was one of the heads of a State Department of Education.  I found out other massive family connections too, and realized with horror how some people were helped and others simply not. This continues to this day. This is what she wanted. She wanted me kept low.  Even as I worked to get ahead in a field I especially loved in college, the refusal to address my Aspergers and medical neglect, worked together to ruin my future.  She did everything to destroy my life and told people it was all my fault. The sabotage was open and continuing. Some of my finding self-respect is realizing what odds I fought against.

One part of self respect is taking responsibility for one's life, and I have sat back to analyze myself. Did I? I went to college and graduated from the honors college with my art education degree. I vied for another profession going to paralegal school, and worked in jobs with troubled youth. I analyzed myself . Was I the "loser", she called me over and over and even on this blog because there was no suburban house or 6 figure income in my future?  I started having thoughts that she was a very spoiled woman, and had an easy ride compared to me. She really did. Money always came her way. Did she have to deal with having Aspergers, or a one in a 5 million health problem? Did she have a body turn on her to the extreme?  Did she have job discrimination to deal with? No. her job was handed to her. If she had dealt with even 10 percent of what I had, she would have crawled into a ball. Her narc-rage over the deprivation alone may have put her in prison.

Another thought I had about her, is "Does any part of her realize that people fear her more then actually respect or love her?" True love or respect does not exist in a climate of fear.  There is no love or true bonding. Everyone bows down to her fearing they will be the next target. They have seen the broken shell of Aunt Scapegoat and seen me battle it out with her for many years. Everyone knows what it is to have a hated boss where everyone snaps to attention not because they like the guy but because they fear being fired. Whatever respect I have from anyone was earned the real way not demanded and coerced by fear. My husband has told me I am his "hero", even for having lived through the health problems I faced. Gasping for air in 1998, who could predict I would live almost 20 plus more years?  One thing that has changed for me being no contact this long, is I am no longer afraid of her.

 As I got deeper into no contact, I thought "Who are these people?" and started to judge them more then myself. While they had more money and prestige then me, where they better people? The answer was no. An objective view of my mother was of an uneducated however cunning woman who had exploited people to move from farm-poor to upper middle class. I analyzed to myself asking "Who among the family had a conscience left, who was more like me? One cousin who volunteers definitely does. A few do. I find myself praying the narcissists don't corrupt them. I asked the question in the quote above, "Why can't they be more like me?" instead of thinking I was all wrong.

Learning to trust myself has been a journey and in itself. I have faced fear and other challenges still being worked on. The poverty thing has hurt me badly but then even there, I ask myself "Have I done what I can?" and I have. Becoming disabled does not bring the wealth. I did what I could and I fought to stay alive.

 We have collected cans, sold ebay and other things. Even with my husband, he works hard even though we are poor. I help him and cook his meals while he is on the computer. He helps me with the caretaking I need during the day such as being driven to an appointment or being helped up from a chair or supported during a vertigo attack. He has not given up and neither should I. Sometimes I get angry wondering why some people have been given good and high paying jobs, and others are not but we both tried everything we could to dig ourselves out. I reminded myself even though I was disabled, we escaped the ghetto even one time. This is why the re-sinking back into poverty has been painful. Right now we are trying to figure out "what to do" and being in your late 40s and early 50s not knowing "what to do", is a very scary feeling. The narcissists while they cheat the system ignore how many people have to live and what has happened to the United States economy. One thing about being poor, is this society will try to destroy your self-respect on many levels. It is something you have to fight. This is one place where knowing the system is screwed up saves a person.

I did not deserve what these narcissists and sociopaths dished out on me. I realized my mother affected my husband in very negative ways too. She was hurting him. When she said things to me like "Your husband will never amount to anything" even knowing at one point he had a book of his own published and had been published in national music magazines and was an assistant newspaper editor at one point, she was hurting him as well as me. She was dishonoring and disrespecting him too. It was affecting his life. My marriage grew stronger when I broke away too. I broke away from having us both called losers. Self-respect is defending those who you love. Narcissists and sociopaths do not know what true love is. They probably are jealous of it and hate you for having it.

My mother used to get angry in emails, and write "You have no respect for me!". She definitely had that sickening narcissist trait of always wanting constant adoration and attention.  How could I? This is one trait of the narcissists where they will demand respect and never get it.  She tried to destroy my own self respect and sought to rule by fear, and intimidation. I do not like my mother, everything about her personality bothers me. There was nothing to respect. It was ironic the person who allowed me no respect demanded it all the time. You have to give respect to get it, which is something she never did. She disrespected people all the time. Even the stuff she said and did regarding Aunt Scapegoat hurt me as there was one point in time I was cared about Aunt Scapegoat and was seeking a bond with her. Respect is earned not coerced via fear.

 Also if you are someone that seeks to destroy everyone's self respect of themselves, you are not someone who is going to earn love from anyone. They may fear you and be nice to your face and tell you what you want to hear, but they will not like you and they won't respect you. Narcissists via their own bad behavior deny themselves real respect and love. They get sycophants, they do not get friends.

One thing that brings self-respect in one's life is integrity. Integrity is holding to one's own moral principles.  Somehow I survived intact in my integrity coming out of the household of snakes. Not to say I am perfect but one part of my identity entails standing up for what I believe. Something the narcissists never were interested in. My father actually would seek to chip away at this telling me I was "too idealistic" and never would "make" it in the world because I would not bend. One Aspie trait is we do stick to where we stand.

One important part of my self-respect was not allowing the narcissists to silence me or take away my own viewpoints or morals. This is one thing that narcissists will strive to chip away at, having no integrity themselves, if you have any they will work on it. There were times my parents would insult me for being "too nice", or "too sensitive". I still think of that last family meeting where my mother outraged by Christian verses, theology and defenses of the poor I was putting on my Facebook wall wrote an email to everyone in the family telling them, that she was going to outlaw some topics for the holiday family meeting at her house.  This was the one in 2012.

Integrity rooted in self respect is what told me, I could not go. A lot of times, I am housebound in winter, and can't make it anyhow--they never allowed any compromise for this, which is one reason I went without seeing some family members for 8 years at the time. That year it was warm enough though, I could have gone, but I refused. The "beliefs" she was outraged by were my Christian beliefs.

This is one point where I was glad I stood up for myself and said "No" when I wrote back, the whole family all kissed her butt and made jokes at me on her behalf. I knew this was the beginning of my NC decision that would be enforced in June after that holiday season. This was one point in my life, where I knew "These people do not respect me." and  "They mock me". The same integrity for someone silencing me for my religious beliefs--and no I didn't thump my bible at them. I left them alone after witnessing one time. I was sacrificing self respect to have anything to do with these narcissists who demeaned me at every step. As I have thought about this in the last few years since it happened, this was her way to even try and take away a core part of who I was, and what I stood for. She did not want the others reading what I had written or posted.

One thing about narcissists is they have no integrity or stands they take. They will change a stand considering what audience they are in front of. I have heard my mother claim to be prolife in one social setting and prochoice in another. I don't want to begin an abortion debate here but am showing this example to show how they will change like chameleons considering who they desire to manipulate. I believe she wanted to shut down the openness I had on Facebook in sharing opinions and viewpoint and this was a way to say, "Do not listen to Peep". With the family all loving her money, they were ready to scramble. When I wrote back "we need LESS censorship in this family not more", all took her side.

So I walked and gained more Self-Respect.

It's changing me. I was under so much condemnation for so long, and now I am seeing through more and more of it. I am learning to hold more boundaries with people and also to stand up for myself. One thing I may write about soon is I have ended quite a number of friendships. I wrote about one in the Taking out the Narcissistic Trash article, but there have been others.  Sometimes I have asked myself if I will end up alone--I do have the good loyal friends and my husband, but my standards are being enforced. I'm not putting up with nonsense. Even being alone is better then dealing with anyone who will disrespect me.

I believe this is one of the worse things these sociopaths and narcissists do to people which is they try to take away someone's very self respect and dignity in who they are. I reject her labels about me that sought to destroy my life and today I get away from people who treat me like she did, who have derision or speak down to me. I did not sell my life and soul to the system, and can respect myself for that.

Australian Prader-Willi Children

They need to study this disorder to get to the root of fat and hunger. This disease proves to me that obesity has a massive hunger component where fat people are "hungrier" for the ones who eat more food, instead of having lower metabolisms that doesn't burn the food off. Think about it these kids are driven to eat even with the resultant damage to their bodies. For all the shame and blame game people, who I try to tell, "None of us choose to be fat", why don't they get it.