In this small resort town, chain your walker to your wrist. It could have been stolen out of the car even, with us with 15 feet and looking the other way. I guess they are more precious then gold or something to these creeps. I have decided to post a sign on the bottom of my next walker, PLEASE DO NOT STEAL ME, with name, and phone number on it. I have a back-up walker but I LIKED THIS ONE. I want it back. A friend gave me this walker too. I was able to fit sitting on it too.
I remember giving walker to husband and saying "Here put this in the car" and thought he did, I got in. He was right next to me. Maybe he is going senile or I am going senile. I actually plan to talk to my doctor about the possibilities of the onset of dementia after all this happened. I went to take online memory tests and even the SAGE test for dementia. Someone's going senile, maybe for this giant of a screw up again. Life feels so overwhelming. The night before I was crying over our blocked up sink, I just had the leak in the closet repaired with all the mold growing from the bathtub. Our closet shares a wall with the bathtub.
I look back in the car an hour later, while we are out running our endless stupid errands, poverty makes for more of those by the way when you have to scrounge food day by day and the walker is gone. That was a mind screw beyond belief. How did something so large "disappear"? We even discussed someone stealing it out of the car. The doors were unlocked while we were outside on our apartment's property. We were distracted but next to the car.
Everyone outside with us, saw me using the walker. I was on my apartment's property too. [see other story too]
I come back and the walker is gone. A recently evicted man's unlocked bicycle is laying outside in the grass, they leave that alone, and steal my walker instead. This walker has had HEAVY use over the past two years, the wheels are even all pitted up, they are not going to get huge money for it.
It is hard to explain the feeling of helplessness and now wondering if something is cognitively wrong with me because I remember telling my husband to put it in the van's hatch back. I am crying so hard, he is scared of the neighbors seeing me and is hustling me back inside. I feel like if I do not constantly OCD check everything to death it does not get done.
I had my purse hung on my walker, so how did I end up with my purse and not my walker? I am confused.
Peep - just from reading your writing, I can definitely tell you that you are not losing your mind, you are not slipping into dementia. You were triggered - you had all kinds of scary thoughts in your mind, you were horrified to see what was happening, you were seeing what is your greatest fear for yourself being played out for someone else, you were seeing a man's life being chucked in a dumpster - all of that makes it essentially impossible to think straight. Maybe for Mr. Peep as well. I think you went through something very traumatic and trauma fragments the mind, it fragments the memory and it fragments the ability to process information as it's happening. Now it's over and you look back, it doesn't make sense, but I think the answer is that you were going through something terribly distressing, not that you have any cognitive decline through age.
ReplyDeleteThank you anon, I went to go take some dementia tests online and passed the tests. My drawn clock looked good and I could name 12 animals quickly on one. Thank you for your post, you nailed it. I wondered to myself about being triggered and my emotional response seemed on overload. I had an Aspie melt-down in the parking lot when I discovered the missing and stolen walker, I guess us old women can get them and had husband ushering me inside quick. I definitely have been on "overload" and yes my greatest fear for myself was being played out for someone else! :( I think Mr. Peep was upset too, he made remarks about a whole man's life left out to rot in the rain on the curb and other sad remarks too. He is afraid too. I think you are definitely right about the trauma. [with our recent struggles and car repairs, and getting food--we have been able to eat at least, my poverty PTSD has been on full tilt] so watching what happened to this poor man, yes, it did affect me very much so. Thanks for explaining this.
ReplyDeleteTrauma definitely shuts down the memory and intellectual processes. Anxiety definitely does. You 'forget' things far more easily so that is very accurate in your post too.
DeletePeep, I'm so sorry your walker was stolen...awful stealing a disabled person's walker. Very disturbing...It could have been the perfect opportunity for this thief to take what he wanted while a traumatic event was transpiring and on-lookers were in shock. It is shocking & cruel emptying an entire apt. into a dumpster. No mercy compassion, nothing...It's sounds like it might have been stolen out of your unlocked van. These thiefs are bold. Several years ago, I had a plumber steal my watch off my vanity when I was sitting in the same room! He was fired & my watch replaced. Then I realized later after the fact, he had gotten away with the gold post earrings from my grandma too. In addition, I agree trauma down shuts down memory. During the psychopath Airbnb episode I wrote about, I was going 'blank' in my brain too. High stress & shock will do it.
ReplyDeleteWe even wondered if it got stolen out of the van. I made police report today, should have brought that up. That one lady told me she rolled it near the eviction stuff in the parking lot. WHY? the eviction stuff was on the grass above a wall separating that area. I said to her, "Why didn't you take it to the office?" You are right it was traumatic and this is a new building manager, so it makes us afraid, like how will we be treated if we run into trouble?[I always pay rent first but you never know what will happen with Social Security with the creeps we have in charge now] I was shocked how they dumped useful items into a dumpster, yeah it was a shock and a giant WASTE.
DeleteI forgot to tell cop we wondered if the walker got stolen from the car, should have brought it up. Maybe I should not have believed lady who said we had accidentally left it. The whole thing was confusing. Sorry you lost your watch. yeah people will clean you out. We talked about getting a roommate you know to save money but we are too afraid to have someone we don't know, there's too much room for stealing and problems. Not that we have a lot to steal but I don't want to come home and find my medical equipment sold off and pawned. At least none of my meds are the kind they could take and sell on the street. I had high stress and shock and add in hours on taxes before, repairmen in and out [their plugging of the bathtub hole failed and I don't want to make a THIRD call, will go to hardware store to ask if they have anything to make a tight seal] and other things happening fatigued me and put me on edge. My eyes have been twitching like gangbusters. LOL Sorry you went through that stress and those psychopath Airbnb people.
Peep, glad to hear you called the police. What was that lady doing touching your walker in the first place? Do you think it might have gotten mixed in with the eviction stuff? I hope someone finds it &
ReplyDeletereturns it to you. People are so scary these days & you don't know what can transpire. Roömmates are out of the question for me. I would live in a small studio before I would consider one. Peep,know that you are not alone in your high stress. In addition to my hellish airbnb story in this "Chicago style" city (who would have known?)I happen to be living right under a drug-dealer. Seedy people come and go all hours of the night and his dog is loud. This is the reality of my cute bright vintage apt. I politely asked him if he could turn down his volume a bit and I got "hate mail". I went to the property office, had it all documented, and told them I want out of here. They have turned a blind eye to illegal activity in this building. Fortunately, a subletter was found for a small fee, by the grace of God. I am out of here May 1st! Returning to my old "safe" small city, searching a sublet with option to sign a lease now. Also, 2 cars were stolen on the street right outside my present building. If civil unrest ever broke out here, this hell-hole of a city would be utterly doomed. There is more going on, which is for another post. Yes, you are right, it all seems to happen at once. Surrendering all to God, trusting Him, praying & keeping it moving forward. I'm holding on financially too. It has been a crazy & hard time since I returned to the US. It's a spiritual war with all the evil I have encountered.
Yeah I called the police. They were nice to me. He told me he thinks they took it with the eviction stuff especially when I told him that one lady moved it from the parking lot over to the curb [the curb and grass area is about 3-4 feet above the parking lot in that area] and her doing that definitely got it probably mixed in. I still don't know why she didn't take it the office. It bugged me. I told the police what thrift store she was at, it's out of jurisdiction for them, LOL I should go there and make sure there is not a big blue walker in the stuff. I hope she was telling me the truth. What scares me is there was only a few people out there and they ALL saw me with the walker using it, so yeah it is weird and people are scary. I put my walker on some social media, so the walker thief or care-less may be a bit worried and hopefully will write me and say "I accidentally took your walker". I have my backup one and it is working okay but I did perfer this heavier walker.
DeleteIf I get it back I will be happy but now have to let it go if I don't. As poor as I am, I am kind of possessive about all my stuff. A rich person losing something like this too, would just go pay to replace. I am going to put a sign underneath the seat of the present walker, and this one can be insured at least, but if it is stolen that is going to drive me nuts, since this was the SECOND one that got taken.
I am scared of roommates. Being Aspie, people can decide to boss me around or tell me to clean. Also being married, it's weird, we even had a debate should we get a male or female roommate and I told husband I would not feel safe with an unknown male who is not a good friend at least--I'm an old woman so trouble is probably less now but then getting a female roommate bugged me too because what if she starts getting chummy with my husband? LOL I totally trust him and he's never given me reason to worry in that area but yeah you imagine all sorts of scenarios. I had a male roommate who'd try to flirt with me and he was with my best friend. If I was single I maybe would try and get a disabled female roommate but yeah there is SO MUCH risk. Without husband, I probably would have to go into a group home or nursing home but I am unsure, there is part of my nature that would say to hell with that.
So sorry you are dealing with hard stress. We pay so much rent to avoid that stuff, but in Chicago, some guy with an air mattress dealed drugs at the end of the hall, it sucked, and lots of creepy seedy people. Loud dogs are a pain too. I am glad you can get out soon and get to a nicer small "safe" city. we could get pushed out to a smaller town, one day even here, if we can't afford rent. I need so many resources and to be close to a hospital so it can get complicated. I stayed here even for a possible future program I may need to keep me out of the nursing home. [program for disabled elderly--starting at age 55 with the intent purpose TO KEEP YOU OUT of the nursing home]
Two cars being stolen that is messed up. Sounds like my life in Chicago. I agree about civil unrest. There's a lot of places that would be doomed. Ill pray for you too. This world has gotten difficult, our power went out last night, I felt a bit afraid. Husband told me to calm down, but they did fix it by 2 am. Sorry things have been difficult here. What do you think of the state of the USA? Do you think life is scarier here then in Europe or are things worse there? My husband says many things here are better, he lived there once though he liked other things about Europe in the 90s. Yes we are definitely in a spiritual war. Yes be careful with the drug dealer. I'd grey rock him now so you can get out safe.
Peep, thank you for your prayers, I greatly appreciate it. I'm on overload. I'm holding on tightly now and trusting Him... Psalm 34:19. In addition, I was searching to buy a used car and there isn't a decent inventory with private parties in this area. I went to a dealer purchased a used car with a finance plan. Part of my autoimmune disease includes chemical sensitivity(which never goes away; I just practice avoidance.) They told me the car would be cleaned with water- based cleaners. Well, that didn't happen. The car was sent out to a detailing service and came back smelling like turpintine & toxic cleaners. I had a 3 day allergic reaction and these chemicals have been absorbed in the car even after 3 non-toxic cleanings. So this dealership is trying to find another car to swap out. It can't be a new car since I don't tolerate new car smell. And for some reason, no matter what year, the plastics in Honda bother me. I have always bought used Jeeps with no problems. Need a car to look at apts. in my old safe city. At least I know I can get a dealer loaner car for the day. This is crazy stuff...Yes, going Gray Rock if I run into the drug dealer. Wearing ear plugs is my new state of being. I will not say one word about any noise and just get the heck out of here! To answer your question regarding the state of the USA, I have also been going thru "culture shock",things have changed so dramatically since I was gone. I think the globalists are trying to take down the US. The song, that keeps coming to mind, is "This is Not America" written by Pat Methany & David Bowie( performed by both). And definitely see more of 2Tim3 everywhere. I was pondering the parable of the wheat & tares. The tares are not just a few scattered weeds, but seem to be massive in number. Europe was wonderful in the 90's before the formation of the EU. With borders down between countries, mass immigration, economic decline(Greece, Italy, Spain),Brexit, the EU is steadily sinking. Also, it seems the Ottoman Empire is rising up once again & taking over Europe. I think it is better to be here , I agree with your husband. However, I don't expect improvement anywhere since we have entered the end of days.
ReplyDeletePS. I was told my neighborhood was safe, being 3 blocks from the University & also being able to walk to Whole Foods, nope!