Sunday, June 25, 2017
Why Don't You Smile More?
Ollie is right about the comments on facial expressions, of course the powers that be want smiling serfs and pod people. I used to get the "you are so intense". I find this interesting because I blamed a lot of this crap on having Aspergers but maybe it's from being an ACON TOO, or I got it double! It's interesting when Ollie says that narcissists think "This is someone I can get the better of!", that makes some sense to me. I mostly don't appear relaxed in public, why would I be?
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Because we know that deep inside they really hate us.
ReplyDeleteI agree. I used to be chastised for not smiling enough, when I already was forcing some.
DeleteUnlike Sociopaths we let our emotions be revealed by our faces and we aren't always on guard like they are.
ReplyDeleteThe narcopaths smile and laugh a lot.Queen Spider did,when among her sychophants, they are seen as nice, charismatic people. Sure it's fake but it seems to fool most. We are real and have real emotions on our faces and a narc society wants that shut down pronto.
DeleteI didn't know that guys and big burly guys like him got asked why they didnt' smile more. I thought that was just a thing that men said to women in order to make themselves feel all wonderful and important. I feel like all my life men have said to me, hey, why aren't you smiling! Or smile! I never think of women saying it. And it felt very much like men just wanted me to be their smiling slave girl. Did you know that smiling is a submissive thing? Monkeys smile, they do this thing called "the submissive grin" and it stops more dominant monkeys from attacking them. It's like people telling you - be submissive! My daughter had this sweatshirt that said in huge letters DONT TELL ME TO SMILE and some people would get really pissed off about it. Like they felt like it was their right to do that.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know men got told it either. Maybe the narcopaths are now demanding the men be submissive too now in the work place and openly kiss more ass. I am glad at Ollie's reaction and that he shut that down fast. Something is wrong where people are judging personalities and faces more then actual work done. I agree it is a submissive thing, "keep sweet for the cult", "keep sweet for your sociopath boss". LOL about that sweatshirt. I don't force smiles anymore since going NC, I kind of threw down the cloaking stuff a bit, and figure why smile for people who aren't doing one thing for me? LOL I suppose I look serious but my facial muscles used to get tired, and I don't want to do it anymore.
DeleteMy adopted wanted my adopted siblings and me to smile when she took pictures of us. We had to act like we were happy; otherwise, she would not take pictures. We loved to have our pictures taken because we did not know that we were dealing with a devious adult who took advantage of us. Years later, when I started going NC and wrote a parting letter to my adopted family, my adopted narc mother told me that she "documented" my "happy childhood years" with her in pictures. I realized she fooled us.
ReplyDeleteOver the years, I dealt with men who complained when I did not smile or when my voice was "not pleasant enough." Some men like hearing little girl's bell voice while some want to hear cheerful voices. I'm not sure if these men were narcs or if they had problems with anti-male and anti-marriage and family feminists. On the other hand, a man who was looking for an assistant in exchange for reduced or free rent told me that he did not want to hire me since he hated my voice. When I asked my roommate if I had an unpleasant voice as he claimed, she said "no" and noted that he was a jerk.
When I learned about malignant and covert narcs four years ago, I realized some smiling people are narcs while some received bad advice that they need to smile to succeed and even to get what they need in life (clothing, food, and shelter). I had been irritated when I saw pictures of some smiling people, especially when I see overstretched mouth, gnashing teeth, and offensive eye languages. I noticed some postures, teeth, tightness of face and eyes turned me off. Not all smiling pictures offend me. It is the language and facial expressions that I find offensive.
I remember when I reunited with foster parents who raised me for eight years before I moved in with my adopted narc mother. They were not always smiling and made some comments about smiling people. It was in the 1990s, about two decades before I learned about malignant and covert narcissism. They said something to the effect that I did not need to smile so much in pictures. They noted that I look good when I did not smile, and some smiling people were strange. We talked about my adopted narc mother demanding me to smile in pictures. They told me that she gave me bad advice and they thought it was wrong for adults requiring children to smile in pictures to document their "happy childhoods" when they were abusive parents.
Thinking back, I noticed several adults asked me to smile because my adopted narc mother asked them to as a favor to her. She also complained to like-minded relatives and teachers that I did not smile and it made her heart feel cold. Several adults parroted her messages, and I was suspicious. I also noticed that narcs usually make these types of comment when my high school classmate unfriended me after I posted a new profile picture of me not smiling. She made a comment that she liked it when I smiled. I ignored her comment because it reminded me of my adopted narc mother. I did not change my profile picture and she unfriended me.
It sounds like your adoptive mother wanted you to keep up the appearance and smile at her bidding. My narc parents got angry when I did not smile for guests even right after they had abused me and demanded I smile for family videos and photos too. I remember we would be told to re-enact stuff for videos and told to act more excited, it was kind of creepy.
DeleteShe needed photos to show off to her friends, with her virtue-signaling adoptions. I remember your other posts where she abused your other adopted brothers and sisters. Of course she would want you all smiling to show off.
I dealt with the men too who demanded I smile.Some employers wanted constant smiling too like they wanted to own your soul, and just doing the work wasn't good enough.
It is rude for that man to have commented on your voice, Narcs will often criticize everything even down to mannerisms a person cannot help.
I believe we have seen a lot of people trained for narcissism told to wear masks in employment and other videos where it goes beyond mere politeness into butt-kissing territory. I remember one job where I was literally told I was not "perky" enough. I knew being big and the way Iam I never could pull off perky and it would have freaked people out. I didn't want to either.
Yes in stock photos one will see smiling people with huge mouths and giant teeth, this stuff turned me off. One can tell when the smile doesn't reach the eyes. Fake smiles always put me on edge. I feel more afraid of someone at times if they are smiling a lot and overly fake friendly and like I will be stabbed in the back. Many narcs do the fake smiling thing like Cheshire cats to get you to drop your guard.
I am glad your foster parents gave you that advice, think about this people in olden days, weren't so intent on having huge smiles,they were just there, unlike today's selfies where the happiness contests rule.
One thing to remember is narcs insist on masks not even for themselves, fake smiles and expressions and even laughter like that one-ex project friend of mine, but they insist on it for everyone else, and demand not only to police thoughts and emotions but facial expressions as well.
The topic of ginormous smiles and scary teeth brings to mind Julia Roberts and the suicide of her half sister Nancy Motes; as much a scapegoat as Tiffany Sedaris.
ReplyDeleteI agree. Sometimes it seems a huge teeth and mouth are mandated in some celebrity circles, the more to SMILE with.
DeleteThanks for this gem of a video. I think women get it a lot, acon or no, but i think this fella is on to something. I thought of my sister, who busted her butt at a job for years doing two people's jobs, for min wage, and in her review was told to smile more. Oh my god she was so mad, it's bad enough to labor at slave wages but they want a corny grin too like a disney land mascot. Like hitlers father beating him and telling him to smile. My poor sister got the Smile More thing a lot from so many ppl. I work hard at my smile mask. It's exhausting but I am trying to get paid and survive in a society that doesn't seem to want either for me. But I'm never ever at ease and I doubt anyone thinks so from my manufactured smiles?? It is a subordination thing maybe
ReplyDelete