nakedpastor
Poster based in Canada · ·
Toxic positivity is a culture in which you are not allowed to have anything but a positive mindset and attitude, no matter how dire or difficult your life is.
I consider it a dysfunctional way to manage emotions and live your life because it dismisses and even condemns legitimate emotions such as anger and sadness.
Maybe I am a Debbie Downer. I don't care anymore. If I am, I was made this way. if I try to fake it, it doesn't work. That's more likely to send me into crying jags than facing hard cold reality.
This friend got me into Russian literature. She said of the books I had recently read Dead Souls and Oblomov, that the Russians are more grim. I laughed and said, "They are more realistic". America is going to collapse with the toxic positivity. They can't deal with or admit or accept reality. Covid is a major case in point. Another friend years ago told me Hungarians were more morose people. She had been there. I said, "Maybe that's where I was meant to be". I am half Hungarian after all.
Some of the "love and light" crowd are scaring me. They are too busy demanding that they themselves wear a mask, and that others do too. They call it growth to keep that smile on one's face and always be "progressing". I have realized while I can be a fine acquaintance with such people any closer friendship will be impossible. Analytical autistics are their automatic enemy. They find us annoying.
I have told myself for the sake of my mental health to avoid them now. Don't argue. Keep things superficial. Don't be a dummy and tell the "authenticity" class naturopath, you wanted to befriend, that the world doesn't want authenticity from autistics. That kind of stuff is for affluent charismatic types who see putting on a purple crystal necklace at their yoga class as the height of quirkiness.
They will slap a negative label on you anyway. They are like fundamentalists in their world view and if you cross it, you are in trouble and the "evil" one.
I don't want to single out the ones unloading toxic positivity, their numbers are legion in the town I live in now. They are mostly friends and acquaintances on Facebook but I have noticed the message is, no matter how bad things are you are to stay positive. This includes everything from going blind, to past abuse, to money problems. No matter how bad it is gets, keep sweet! These people stress me out. They make any depression greater. One is always supposed to step outside of yourself and think of your "brand", "appearance" and "impact". With the lady going blind, I like her and going blind is worse, but there's nothing to celebrate about going deaf. It sucks. I'm not going to go on about its wonders. I can't even have a conversation with my husband in the kitchen anymore.
Its like America is one big cult, "keep sweet or you're evil!" Manifest your reality and all that sort of crap. It is spiritual bypassing. As society grows more insane, stupid and banal, the powers that be just want you to shut up about it. The evangelical churches were horrible about this stuff, always policing your emotions. New Agers and the "Love and Light" crowd are just as bad as your hard core fundamentalists. The fundamentalists will tell you, that you are going to hell for not trusting God, the New Agers will say you are manifesting "negativity". It's tiring. In life, you want to be around people you are not on constant eggshells around. These folks worry me. There's too much tone policing. Just getting analytical to them seems an insult, like I'm not talking sharing tears but just breaking something down.
One ironic thing about my personality is I show more happiness and laughter around people I feel comfortable around, so it's viewed maybe less? It happens. I think a lot of ACONs learn to guard that, because we know if we are caught smiling or liking something, the narcissist is going to swoop in like a bird of prey and nip that in the bud. I love stamp collecting. I even have dreams about being a stamp dealer and owning huge books of postage stamps. Anyhow, my mother once even mocked that and told me once "Collecting stamps is stupid!" Well at least some stamps appreciate in value instead of armies of ceramic snowmen that end up in the trash can or in the thrift bin after they go out of "style".
Get me some complainers. At least around them I could be real. One of my friend said some cultures are more "complainer" cultures in European countries, I said, "That sounds better to me!" Now even I don't want people who never take action, but all this censorship and bypassing is getting on my last nerve.
I've posted on this topic before so check out those posts. It is ironic to me as the world implodes to dystopia we are all supposed to smile even more. Guess it should not surprise me. They don't want anyone rebelling and asking why do we have to live in the street now among all these empty houses?
Anyhow I'm tired of rich people telling me I'm not grateful enough and others who expect constant mask-wearing. I don't want the religious telling me what to think and feel and I don't want the gurus, and "love and light" ones telling me either. I'm done with people telling me what to say and feel. At this age, I'm not going to be who they want anyway. Forget it. Goodbye to all gurus, pastors, priests, and spiritual types telling me who to be and policing my thoughts and the thoughts of others.
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