Even in one's community one needs to be wary of toxic people.. I think my narc radar has improved since going no contact. Whatever a person's diagnosis, I know I do not want to be treated badly anymore. I was at a disability group meeting for a book club, and a new woman showed up. She was friendly and asked me if I wanted to come to her drop in center and she told me she wanted to start a group for Aspies and those on the autism spectrum. In this disability group they do not know about me being an ACON and only know about my Lipedema, and disabilities that show like being hearing impaired.
I wrongly believed that drop in centers were for the poor, lonely or even physically disabled and those living on the edges of society but more on that later and remembering feeling glad this person was opening her drop-in center to autistics. I said, "Yes I would be very interested." She told the group she was an Aspie too, about being bipolar, and talked more about her "autism-Aspie" story. She was the director of the drop-in center via a peer counseling program. While I wanted to make sure this place was okay, I have always wanted to take part in a Aspie meet-up and have wanted the chance to meet more people and have some successful connections in this community. With the group, I was very eager. I knew two male Aspies as acquaintances in the community I could invite.
I did warn her I am housebound a lot but would love to be part of the group and maybe we could get it started and it could keep going on it's own and then I would come as often as I could like another community group I am in. Maybe we could put out fliers and advertise. Being Aspie, I have been involved in online Aspie groups and met now real-life although long distant friends in them, so having the chance to meet other people who face this challenge, was exciting to me. She acted friendly and talked to me just fine at this time. Sure she was a bit withdrawn and awkward but that was nothing I was not used to. I had my husband drive me to this place and he came with me. So it was just her and us, the first time. The second time, I invited this local male Aspie who I had met in the disability book group a year or so ago and was trying to get a message to the other Aspie I knew as well. When the group was supposed to be held a second time, the other Aspie showed up but she did not show up. So he was kind of upset he drove there for nothing, and no group happened. The books for the group and place for it were locked up. She never apologized and started acting weirder. I just shrugged my shoulders and thought, "Well I will try one more time.".
Things got even more strange then, I noticed she started ignoring me and being overtly rude to me. Now I have been around other Aspies, including a close friend of me and my husband and even WORKED with autistic children in classrooms. Her autism seemed weird to me like she could turn it off and on like a spigot. I felt suspicious something didn't add up. Friendly for a time with smiles and then cold as a fish. Maybe she was higher on the spectrum but that didn't make sense, she spoke of going to meetings in our state capital and was highly organized. She seemed able to socially function among movers and shakers, I would be scared to even talk to. I know Aspies get diverted and distracted, I do all the time. Sometimes my voice will go monotone or my mind will wonder off, but I even learned the basics years ago, say hello to people etc.
I got some bad vibes that worried me as I met up with her. Something seemed odd about her like she was far more career grasping then I have ever seen an Aspie be and higher functioning in some ways while trying to appear to be lower functioning. The second time I met her, I thought in my head, "She doesn't seem to be vulnerable like autistics and Aspies are". She also seemed to be very wealthy from things she talked about including vacations, trips, two highly successful adult children, and other matters. It was weird because the drop in center is in a very poor side of town.
She was the boss at the drop in center and I noticed other people seemed to make paths for her and you knew she was in charge no matter what. This kind of surprised me. Most Aspies or autistics do not exhibit such strong signs of "leadership" and keeping people "in check". People almost seemed afraid of her. A friendlier assistant director was there, we talked to as well. The place only had a few clients coming in, 2 or 3 at most. I talked to them but they were more quiet. We colored in adult coloring books a few time. I was still checking the place out and was glad to have a place for the autism group. One thing with the director, she told me she had this Comfort Dog, and the dog started making appearances with her later. She was so high functioning seeming, I thought she was training the dog for some program until I realized the dog was HERS.
Anyhow the third time, I and my husband show up for the time of the group meeting and we enter the front room of the Drop-in Center. I feel weirder about being there because I am finally starting to suspect the place is mostly for those who are heavily medicated and don't just suffer from garden variety depression and anxiety but full blown psychotic mental disorders with full hallucinations and time spent in the psych ward. I have been diagnosed with PTSD in my past and struggle with depression but never have been hospitalized for any mental disorder. I don't judge people who have, but I noticed a lot of the programming at this place was focused on people successfully "recovering" after psych ward internments. The focus was to get them employed again and self supporting. I felt odd there as a very physically disabled person knowing I am unable to work in my physical condition.
Anyhow we come a third time for the group, she the director of the Drop-In Center is sitting there, only 4-5 feet away and I say hello, and she flat out ignores me and my husband. I am VERY UNCOMFORTABLE. I joke and try to add levity to the situation to get her to speak to us and allow for distraction and other matters but time passes with her giving us extreme silent treatment. The group where we are reading a book on Aspergers together is due to begin. My husband is not the confrontational type so busies himself talking to someone else in the room. I had the thought, "I do not want to beg this person to talk to me". I am trying to let go of people pleasing and other behaviors that have only dug my scapegoat hole deep. So I sit there and stare straight ahead too after trying to get her to talk to me two times. I talk to the person my husband is talking to and then I have us get up and leave after waiting 25 minutes. There goes the Aspie group. I already know I am not coming back.
The whole situation was so strange. I later wrote her a letter asking her why she did not speak to us and saying that I had a hard time understanding her version of autism and maybe she needs to explain this better to people so there is more understanding. She never responded back.
I am familiar with autistics who go mute, but this seemed like the hard cold freeze-out of a narcissist. I've been down that road too many times not to know what it feels like. She wanted me gone, maybe because she knew I was only going to bring a few more clients in? She asked me to do art projects almost right off for the place but I wanted to familiarize myself with how the place worked being unsure of how drop in centers worked and the culture. My husband told me be careful of people who want something from you. My energy is very low and I am realizing my failure to "deliver" is impacting me socially.
This sounds bad but I decided to look her up on Facebook, and her wall was public. If any flying monkeys inform her of this article that may cease pretty quickly but I noticed the day I wrote her the letter she complained about people not understanding her. I think she meant me since it was the day I wrote her the letter. She was very angry, and this posting had a "how dare they" attitude to it, instead of a "I feel sad someone misunderstood me". She said she had "Kanner's autism". This blew my mind because Kanner's autism is where they do NOT desire closeness with other people. Aspies and autistics normally want connection but fail in getting it. Why is someone like that in such a people based position where there are people coming in especially with severe mental disorders?
I had a lot of time in special ed classrooms in my 20s, most people with Kanner's are totally non-verbal and usually lower functioning, they are not organized people directing drop in centers. I wonder who chose this woman to work with the severely mentally ill if her social skills were so extremely low? I did not feel like I was around an autistic who was going mute or too afraid to talk. I dealt with kids who were severely autistic in classrooms. My nephew when I was in contact with him had HFA [high functioning autism] between out and out autism and Aspergers and he was quiet all the time. You could ask him questions and he would ignore you, but it was not an offensive kind of ignore. It's kind of hard to explain, it was DIFFERENT then this.
Something didn't add up. She had pictures of herself meeting with politicians including talk of meeting with a lt. governor on her PUBLIC Facebook wall and one regional politician who is well known. Some of these photos appeared on a public Facebook page of a non-profit she ran related to the later Drop in Center. These are meeting I would be too afraid of and Aspie to deal with myself. She was at the center of all her family photos, she had a high number of friends. Most of my Aspie friends are under the 100 mark, if not lower.
Her Facebook wall seemed to have people constantly praising her and defending her. It seemed to read like my mother's facebook. I have never seen this happen with another fellow Aspie. She even told this one guy off who was an Aspie too, they were actually talking about autism and he unfriended her. On the public Facebook wall and on the public Facebook organizational wall where she ran a nonprofit, she bragged about buying a $2,000 dollar vaccum cleaner for her home and paying $5,000 and some odd change for the trained Comfort Dog. The dog is supposed to help her with the severe autism. I was right about her being wealthy, as there were pictures of her very lavish house with things like wooden floors, rich fabrics and decked out kitchen with stainless steel and espresso machine.
I have never met any autistic person like this. I was very weirded out by this whole experience. She seemed put off during one of those first meetings at my knowledge about autism. The drop in center really was not for me. It did bring me down some to attempt to integrate with the community again and have it end in failure. My sense of not belonging here has gotten greater and greater. I have been more lonely then before. I feel like I don't belong anywhere.
Sometimes it is very hard. Humans are social creatures, they want people to talk to in real life once in a while. I do think this person treated me very wrongly. I do not trust them. I am glad I got away from them. It could have been worse, I had my husband with me knowing I needed to check this place out--I have been more cautious since the catfish incident and I listened to the "bad vibes" I got. My fault was in giving her a second chance but at least my time spent around her was very short. I supposed since autism and Aspergers is a neurological condition, it is possible other personality disorders could enter in, but I'll leave the actual diagnosis to the professionals. The whole thing confused and bothered me greatly. Please tell me what you think of this experience. Thanks.
I think she was a plant or subvert-er. Someone put there to control people. So they lie about themselves. It sounds conspiratorial , but it's possible. What groups are not being subverted today. The world is full of narc people who will do this. My hunch is she sensed you were smart enough to be on to her after the first meeting.
ReplyDeleteSorry if that's to weird, but my mind just went there!
Really sorry that happened to you. I had a similar thing happen to me and it really weirder me out and hurt me .I don't actually know why I was treated the way I was. I guess I needed some insight from someone outside the situation. But, I was alone.
Plus people abuse people all the time. It could just be that simple.
Again, sorry you had that experience.
I wonder about things too seriously. Why would this person be the one chosen to work with severely mentally ill? I know family money and connections can make things happen in this world but it was crazy. It threw me off kilter. I agree with your hunch. She found out how much I knew about Aspergers and autism and that was almost the moment she changed. I didn't brag or show off just discussed my time in Aspie groups, finding out about autism, the different variations etc. I would be interested in your similar situation if you want to email me, fivehundredpoundpeep@gmail.com Sorry it hurt you too. This hurt me as well. One friend asked me, "are you going to file a complaint?" Who would that be to? LOL I was barely there too. She just ignored me and gave me silent treatment. I feel for any severely mentally ill people too who encounter this person.
DeleteHello Peeps
ReplyDeleteShe doesn't sound like any Aspie I've ever encountered. I think you are right to keep away from her.
It sort of reminds me of those psychopaths who pretend they have cancer for either financial reasons or to just manipulate others.
A lot of psychopaths are scammers on multiple levels. I suspect she thought you were more vulnerable and when she realised you weren't that you were a potential threat to her.
I don’t have to tell you how dangerous someone like that can be if she targets you.
She sure wasn't like any of my Aspie friends or any of those fully autistic kids or teens I was around when I worked in schools either. I felt afraid of her and I never felt afraid of any of them, and I had teens and preteens who had outbursts in classrooms. We usually had aides, but STILL....
DeleteYes I have heard of people pretending to have cancer and even weirder things in this world. Some are scammers are on multiple levels. She probably thought I was more vulnerable too or would take abuse not to be alone.
Yes there are many dangerous people out there. I think this world is getting scarier. :(
Since this happened I have not felt like doing any new socializing in my community, I go to some events I had going on before. I just have never lived somewhere only to be disappointed over and over.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you were dealing with another fake aspie or a narc who claimed that she is an aspie in order to keep other people knowing that she is a narc. Narcs usually prefer non-stigmatizing labels such as Asperger Spectrum, bipolar disorder, or learning disability. These are the least stigmatizing diagnosis in the mental health community these days.
ReplyDeletePeople who went through mental hospital and/or received a diagnosis for Narcissistic Personality Disorder would choose one of three labels in a heartbeat. Narcs who have poor social skills or who are unfriendly to people would take Asperger Spectrum, and those who have better social skills would take bipolar disorder. Those who are not doing well in school or at work would claim that they have learning disability. Narcs are using less stigmatizing diagnosis and fool people without regard to or care for those who have one of these three diagnosis. I know people who have one of these issues and received a prosper diagnosis. They really struggle! I was angry 7 years ago when a disability services coordinator asked me if I had a learning disability because of a request for a certain diagnosis. I was angry because I knew somebody who had learning disability. I saw several classmates in tears when we watched an educational film about what it was like to have a learning disability in school. Then I heard stories about some students of helicopter parents who claimed that they had a learning disability. These students tried to get into an Ivy League university by asking for an accommodation in admissions by claiming that they had lower SAT scores for having a learning disability. Students who had learning disability and I had a very hard time getting an accommodation that we needed because of these fakers.
Then I started to meet people online and noticed fake aspies came into picture. True aspies struggle a lot in life. Their lives at work have been hard and a high majority of them had difficulty with social life. Then there are successful narcs who claim that they are aspies, only because people do not like them. I am suspicious about this lady's claimed that she has Kanners autism because she does not have intellectual disability.
I wondered too if she was telling the truth. Something seemed very wrong. I wondered if her diagnosis was accurate. I know there are some Aspies with computer and other skills who can make the middle class but they usually have social and other difficulties but are not the boss. I felt the same emotions I had around her as I did narcissists.
DeleteIt is true that Aspergers and bipolar are far less stigmatizing diagnoses then NPD. Really they are all very different disorders. That's terrible about the students trying to pretend to have learning disabilities for school success.
I knew this one woman who claimed to be Aspie, this is someone else who I don't think ever had an official diagnosis or ever had a therapist or psychologist tell her she was Aspie. I noticed too she was never vulnerable either and always came out ahead in life no matter what and was a gung ho career woman who never met adversity in her way. She was the one in the Army whose multimillionaire father had giant contracts via his company in the Army and who rapidly rose up the ranks. She claimed to me she had social problems and people did not understand her, but she never lacked for a promotion and never struggled. She too never showed vulnerability. Most Aspies I know, have struggled, the true ones, have many social and other struggles. Some Aspies and autistics may have computer, science or STEM talents to let them acquire the middle class, but they still struggle and are not usually in leadership roles.
Most Aspies I know without exceptional math or STEM talents struggled severely and economically. People who have the social skills to get their economic and physical needs met without a blip do not seem to be Aspies to me.
I am suspicious too about her claim of Kanner's autism because she has no intellectual disabilities as well. I find it extremely suspicious. A true Kanner's too would not have any desire for a very social career in mental health work. Some Aspies who want to connect will become teachers etc, but someone who does not desire connection with people would not choose such a career in a million years.
I agree. Who are you going to file a complaint to. Just how I felt.
ReplyDeleteMy situation was similar in that it was an agency like yours but had nothing to do with autism/aspie or mental health. Do you still want me to email?
That okay you don't have to. Sorry you went through this too. :( I know it has to be happening to others. Too many ladder climbers with other agendas getting into social agencies. I wish organizations screened better.
DeleteIt's really hard to even find people complaining about things like this on the internet. That's why I love your writing. You have no fear! You are very brave. I admit I can get anxiety just leaving a comment. You are putting it out there. I think you can feel very good about yourself for that. Not that many people are willing to take that risk. It is really hard to go against the system. And I mean that in the broadest terms.You cover a lot of diverse stuff and you are not just stuck in one view of everything ie. liberal/conservative thought. You seek out truth where ever it leads. And I've seen you rethink things so your not always stuck.
ReplyDeleteWell done you!
Thanks anon. Thanks for your compliment about my writing. LOL this life, hope I am brave and not taking too many risks. Thanks for saying I can feel good about myself, you are right it is not easy to go against the system. It is good to always seek truth out, and rethink things as one learns more. Thanks for your comments.
DeleteA lot of psychopaths make it to these self help groups. They never have a problem with assertiveness, but they do tend to go to those groups, and tend to bitch out the people who don't progress fast enough. I've been in those types of situations. Seems like we can't get out of the house without meeting with some high functioning person with disabilities, that never keep them down.
ReplyDeleteI've seen people in mental health groups that emotions annoy some of the members. They not only look annoyed, but act annoyed. This spoils the group, and I was recently asked to attend another group by a therapist. Since there will be about 20 people in the group, I'm doing the math, and I just know there will be freaks there. I haven't declined yet, the group hasn't started yet. So since I have to have a job where I have to be alone, I don't think I can attend the group anyway.
I wish we could come up with a way to deal with narcs in every day life.
This wasn't the self help group but I suppose a drop in center is like a self help group. My self help group was almost destroyed by someone who had negative attitudes towards people who had taken over. I felt bad my health was too poor to run it myself though some others took over thankfully. This person would remark about how people were not being cured and not progressing fast enough as if she was the judge and and jury, she got one other person I got away from on the team with her in putting people down. Many people left the group, she had nothing but judgment to deliver and kept lecturing people on getting great careers and "recovery".
DeleteI noticed this drop in center, also ignored economic realities and real practical advice--I paged through some of their class materials, before leaving, and emphasized "recovery" in "getting a job" and "making money" and competing the same as other people. It did not seem realistic, for severely mentally ill people with constant rotations into the psych ward. I faced enough discrimination to last me a lifetime while I was still in the workworld for my Aspergers.
Instead of real job programs, training and opportunities, many of who are poor and uneducated in that particular community, were told to go compete on the same playing field as healthy and wealthier people. I got judged by people who never lacked for a dollar in their life. I also wonder about society pushing this constant bootstraps messages on people. A few fortunate souls who remain stable, may find a good factory job but those are rare and far between but I had the thought they were giving very ill people "believe and achieve" dreams and not warning them about the realities of the job market and survival. If I ran one of these programs, I would not give false dreams but would give reality and warnings.
Maybe I have been to the school of hard knocks too long or something but I got tired of this. Even the people pushing "recovery" and judging others were living off the largesse of others.
Narcs hate emotions, so when you see people who get angry when people share deep emotions or want the feelings to stop, most likely there is narcissist in the room. I had the feeling this "austistic" hated emotions, some accuse autistics of being like Spock, but emotion is still there, just displayed in other ways but there is a difference between that and just being COLD and condemning emotions in others.
I believe mental health in general can be a danger zone to encounter the personality disordered. There can be a lot of power over people's lives and emotions that can be abused. Some people who do not truly have people's best interests at heart or their own, can truly do a lot of damage. Yes if you have bad feelings about the group already it is better to stay away. I do not want people who want to repress my emotions or treat me like my mother that I am a bad person for having emotions at all.
I wish we could come up with a way too. I say avoid them as much as possible but some people are being forced to deal with them via work and other situations.
I am thinking that hating of emotions is a hatred for vulnerability and also maybe the feminine side of things.
ReplyDeleteI think so too. They hate anyone who is vulnerable and real, the feminine side of things goes along with that too.
DeleteI came here by way of a link you left in a discussion on Whitney Thore of My Big Fat Fabulous Life. Saw that you were diagnosed with Cushings, as well as being an Aspie. I have Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia (CAH), and according to Autism researcher Simon Baron Cohen, Asperger's is co-morbid in girls who have CAH. I found out that I have Asperger's over a decade ago, and it explained a lot. I'm very high functioning, I still have the two Stanford-Binet tests I took in Jr High and Sr High, and my IQ is in the 140's, according to both. In my senior year of high school, I took the Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery (ASVAB) test. My younger brother, a non-Aspie (neurotypical), took it with me. We both had the highest scores in the country that semester that year, my brother was #1, I was #2, and was #1 among females. We both received commendation letters from the Rear Admiral of the US Navy. We were offered lucrative futures from every military branch. I only took the test to help with career choices, my brother really wanted to get in the Navy, but he failed the physical.
ReplyDeleteI hung around guys that were classic nerds/dorks, and ate lunch with some geeky girls. I had similar experience as you did with Cushings, as a teen - was diagnosed with CAH as a young adult. CAH brought a host of co-morbid conditions with it, coupled with being hit by a drunk driver in 1993, I have since been on disability. A year ago, I did something I never thought possible, I bought a townhouse. I stay at home a lot, don't go out socializing, and I'm fine with that.
This lady you write about definitely doesn't fit the Classic Kanner Autism criteria. As you surmised, she might have some form of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I thought of another possible diagnosis, Munchhausen Syndrome. Most have heard of Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy, and have heard of cases involving mothers of allegedly sick kids. In straight up Munchausen syndrome, the person presents as sick, and will claim various illnesses, disorders, syndromes, etc. People who have this will arm themselves with knowledge about a particular diagnosis, and will convince others that they have something in order to gain sympathy or as a means of seeking attention. If their ruse fails to work, and they aren't believed, they will often cut you off and move on to someone who will fall for their claims. It sounds like this is what happened to you, you grew suspicious, she sensed it, and worried that you would blow her cover, so she quickly cast you aside.
Your description of her FB page makes me think she lives in a fantasy world, and thrives on attention. She creates a persona that isn't real, she lives in a world of her own making. Do you even know if the pics she posts on FB are actually hers, and of her home and stuff? She could have lifted them from anywhere. Are all those 'friends' praising her real people? Or are many of them fake accounts created to bolster her image? Whether she's a Narc, or has Munchhausen, or a combination of the two, or even something else different altogether; everything she posts, and everything she told you, is likely an image of her own creation. What IS clear, as you have discovered, is that this woman does not have Kanner Autism, she doesn't even appear to be anywhere on the spectrum. Just an unstable person suffering from some sort of psychological and/or mental disorder, BS'ing her way through life, convincing herself and others she's someone she's not. A toxic person you are better off not associating with.
Yes I am an Aspie, have pseudo-Cushings--they never found tumor source. I am familiar with CAH, I was diagnosed with hyperaldosteronism and had one doctor mention adrenal hyperplasia to me though in my case it's not CAH, but I remember that term, I had to go get an adrenal scan but it was inconclusive. I am diagnosed with Lipedema stage IV. I remember the doctors being in shock at the level of adrenal hormones I was producing. One said, "My God you're on high blood pressure meds and still producing seven times the normal adrenal hormones--adrenaline, aldosteronism, there was some others. I am diagnosed with PCOS, and had high testosterone too. The connection of Aspergers and CAH is interesting. I wonder at a connection of Aspergers and Lipedema too.
DeleteI am glad you are very high functioning. Many Aspies test as very high on IQ tests. I remember my mother being told I had a high IQ in third grade and she got angry, I didn't know the exact score and was not told. I could read by age 3 though in my case I was deficient in math. I know of one score I got goofing around on graduate friend's IQ test she did on me for a class at age 20, I came out around 136. I do have a serious math deficients, if I can't visualize something it's not happening. I have skills in some areas but not others. Remember the school making a big deal of me scoring 100 percent on one of their teaching to the tests in high school. That never had happened. Must have been luck I got basic math I could deal with. Thats great how you and your brother did on the ASVAB test! Did you join the military then? What were some symptoms of the CAH? You probably can see why I am interested. I didn't get some of the physical problems that go with that disorder.
I agree this woman doesn't fit classic kanner autism at all. I have spent years on Aspie boards, and have a set of real world friends from one--phone contact I met 10 years ago, and I have read just about every book on Aspergers [Attwood and many others I could get my hands on]
I thought of narcissistic personality disorder but I think your theory of Munchausen Syndrome, is a very good one. You are right Munchausen by proxy is what gets the attention but people can get the DIRECT one.
It's true too it doesn't have to be a physical disorder but can be a mental or neurological disorder. On her public Facebook wall, I noticed she seemed to gain a lot of attention and sympathy for having autism and I noticed this in the public discourses too. I never saw this interplay with any real Aspies or autistics. It was like she was feeding off it. She would post things on her public Facebook wall about how horrible it was to have autism, and these other people would be swooning over her and saying "Poor dear". I know I have gotten sympathy online for sharing my medical horror stories on this blog but trust me, I am not having NTs all running to my side like that to pat me on the head. There's a few nice people who help me out but this woman literally had an entire crowd, doing head pats, and saying "Oh it's all so terrible". I suppose I am a bit of an Asperger pride type person so found myself offended on a few personal levels reading these exchanges. Some of these attitudes were shown in public too. I'm not interested in being shamed for being an Aspie as well.
continuing...
I noticed she made a big deal of talking about autism and it's various symptoms and then seemed in shock when I got rolling. I am one of those Aspies, where if someone hits on something I have studied, I have to be careful with NTs on this one, I will go on about it, but let's just say, as I sat there talking about various guises of Autism, High functioning autism, Kanners--funny I mentioned that one too in passing, and my experiences with autistic children in the classrooms I substitute taught at, I could see her eyes growing a bit wide. She went from friendly to taken aback a bit and got far more quiet.
DeleteNow when I go on about intellectual topics, my experience with Aspie friends is they ENJOY this discourse, of course I am dealing with high functioning Aspies, but this one she was checking out of the conversation fast.
I think she knew I was someone she wouldn't be able to fool. I also have never seen an autistic who had people so much in check, almost like she would snap her fingers and they'd do her bidding. Aspies and autistics do not usually seek social leadership positions.
I think your theory she cast me aside could be very accurate, definitely.
The pictures are real, of her house and wealth. I know someone who had met her and visited her house before, and said "Yes she is very wealthy". The dog was real and from some kind of training facility. I do think people like this could post fake pictures too but I know the house ones were real. The buying of the vacuum cleaner could be fake bragging or what she paid for the dog. The pictures with politicians, could be real though visits with Lt governors could be false claims. She wrote of being excited to get an appointment in. It's true with the praisers some of them could be fake. I strongly suspect a narc-loving blog of having fake people who fawn over the person who writes over there, so why couldn't someone do this on Facebook?
continuing...
DeleteI agree with you the possibility she has created a false persona is very real. I kept thinking she was acting in what she thought an Aspie or autistic was supposed to be like as an adult. She seemed to stress not being able to have emotional connections with people. So there, one of the worse stereotypes about Aspies and the autistic, were forwarded by this person!!!
I felt alarmed inside hearing her go on about this on her facebook wall and even hearing a few smatterings of it in public, thinking "THAT'S NOT ME!" and not wanting people to judge me as a robot with no emotional connections. Her desire to meet commmunity people and others like the politicians gave me this same sense of alarm.
Kanner's the lack of the desire for emotional connection can apply but they are non-verbal, and lower functioning so her story about Kanner's makes no sense. I think she complicated things in people's mind claiming to be bipolar too, so people would be more confused.
She is too "socially aware" in the negative fashion to be autistic, Aspie or Kanner's. Her ignoring my letter, even is proof of this because she ignored the social script of writing me back and not appearing rude in her "professional position". A true Aspie in a professional position would be fearing not following the rules or at least attempting a level of politeness. Even Temple Grandin says "Don't be rude." Her interest in "helping" the mentally ill contradicts with claiming an autistic condition where there is no emotional connections sought. It contradicts. I don't like contradictions.
Actually on the public facebook wall, she got into an argument with a another Aspie, telling him off and saying something along the lines of we may both have a similar diagnosis of autism, but that is where the similiarity ends. He ended up unfriending her.
I want to thank you for reminding me of Munchausens and definitely that could be going on here. There could be personality disorders as well in people who have that. I had a bad experience with someone pretending to be something they were not--see this post
http://fivehundredpoundpeeps.blogspot.com/2016/03/did-my-mother-send-spy.html
So my patience with "fake people" and "liars" has grown very low.
I agree this is someone toxic no matter the reality I need to stay very far away from. If I run into her at another disability meeting or elsewhere in the community I am staying very far away.