I joined a gym

                                       [picture source]

I joined a gym last week. So far so good. I've gone twice. My 4 months of illness with all those viruses told me physically I am getting in trouble. I can use the stepper at the gym but can't walk fast enough yet for the treadmills, maybe later. I did do hand weights and pull weights and there are a few machines I can use. Some machines don't work yet, but enough did for me to have something to work with.  I am probably the most disabled person any gym in the world has ever seen. I did see this guy who weighs 650lbs who joined a gym on Facebook. He is obviously disabled but went down to the 500s.

This gym is okay with someone coming in on a walker who has to go very slow. My husband is helping me, making this possible. He joined too. He is able to do the aerobic stuff and get on the bicycles and helped me on and off the Steppers. I am using 10lb weights and the lightest stuff but will see where this goes. During non-housebound times, I told him we should plan on going twice a week. The gym is open 24 hours. The structure will help me. More art is done when I go to art class and probably more exercise will happen now as well.

 I am kind of old, and almost 50. I am not expecting miracles or magic weight loss but doing something is better then nothing. I am just trying to stay alive. I also thought well the PACE program has exercise equipment but I can't afford to wait 5 more years to get some exercise. My four months of illness really messed me up, my diabetes got out of control, with blood sugars ranging from the 150s-130s. I had a few 170s. I was so sick.

Another reason I joined the gym, is I can't walk well anymore to walk around for exercise. I hurt my ankle with a severe sprain last year and it never was the same. It is easier to go on a Stepper and hold on to the hand rails, though I am going very slow, then trying to walk on bumpy sidewalks with a walker and an ankle that feels weak.  I used to walk around the apt building and stuff like that but I hurt the ankle last year trying to walk to begin with and it just wasn't as possible..  I fear weight gain because of this. Remember my body wants to be 700lbs again. It is not normal. Even to get my diabetes down, is taking bearing hunger pains and eating foods like cottage cheese and grapefruits and avoiding as much pasta as possible. I have considered skipping meals but I get so sick, I was late eating lunch one day, and it hit 4:00pm and I literally felt like I was going to pass out but I keep emergency food on me due to the diabetes and ate some of it.

I did get the sugars down this week back down to the 120s and low 130s until the later leg infection came. The eating is always adjusted for this. It's not easy. Remember when I told you all I asked doctors to hospitalize me for weight loss, because I felt unable to lose any weight they always turned me down. I am scared at the amount of weight my body wants to hold onto.  CICO has failed me. I am just trying to do what I can. It troubles me, why won't they hospitalize someone who is not losing weight? They can watch me and feed me a controlled diet and figure out adjustments. One doctor said with Lipedema this severe, it's more complicated. I get so sick without carbohydrates but even now I am wondering if I should switch to a more Keto diet or an adjusted one.

I also am planning to go see a Rheumatologist very soon to get a handle on so many infections, fevers, chills, pain and fatigue. I am trying my best. It's time. Women with severe Lipedema can face multiple autoimmune problems. If I have Dercum's, that brings more risk for infections.

My MLD said I already do at home what a Lymphedema Rehab would do with me, and realized she was right. I am seen as one of their most compliant patients with leg wrapping and sugar record keeping.  The other doctors said my weight was "stable" and I was not sick enough to be hospitalized for weight. Maybe it'd be boring being in some hospital bed and their food is worse, they aren't worried about non-GMO food and avoiding MSG. I was 530 last year and 526 last month, and 513 in the middle of the year. It does remain frustrating. Some of the hard fatty tumors seem to be growing

Sometimes my body weight does weird things, I almost had major wardrobe malfunctions at the gym. I told my husband sometimes my underwear is too loose on some days it's from the constant weight changes. I have to wear dresses to the gym, but tried wearing these cut off spandex shorts but they were too loose from years ago. My body is shaped so funny, normal clothing just doesn't fit right. I will be wearing shorter dresses at the gym.

One odd thing about me, is I used to like lifting weights when I was a teen. Our gym class in high school had some weight machines. I found it fun to do. I did feel some of this feeling of fun coming back. My husband told me he used to run into college and did exercises, he was on the school wrestling team. It will be good for his health too.  I have told him this will be our new hobby. Exercise bought me some time you know, the PT helped me a lot from years ago.

The gym people have been friendly to me. No problems there. This gym specializes in "no judgement" which I like a lot. I did get a leg infection, this week, probably from over-activity in general, but do plan to go back to the gym as soon as it is possible. It was great to find a gym we both can afford now too.