Sunday, January 13, 2019

Are Millennials Burnt Out or Just Casualties of a Sick Society?




How Millennials Became the Burned Out Generation

It's interesting how younger generations are gaslit and told it's all their fault in news articles. It's crazy how they have told millennials how they can't afford anything because they love avocado toast and that they are killing industries on purpose instead of simply being without expendable income. This article is written by a millennial, and she questions some of the system, but I believe doesn't go far enough. One question I would ask her, is how did young people get in this position of always having to prove themselves and being found lacking?

Millennials are getting a bum wrap far worse then Gen X did. Like us being called slackers, they are called losers for life, as they are denied jobs and opportunities to get ahead. It's weird for me now, to meet some Boomers who had good stable jobs who are average in looks and ability or even below average. Of course many did work hard and got ahead and others were gifted and talented, but back then, one could make a living far easier.  Some take for granted almost this utter comfortableness in this world. In the liberal circles, I run in now, I can talk to a few empathetic Boomers about the destruction of younger people's economic lives, but there's those who have little empathy and understanding. This is how we got Trump after all who wants to dial things back to his own hey day of the go-go 1980s. For some Boomers, the 1980s never ended.

With Millennials, now into their 30s and early 40s, Gen Z are the 20 somethings, when they weren't being dragged or drugged into constant distraction, many are facing the facts that economically things have not improved. In some countries, probably national strikes may already occurred for a mass population of young people to be pushed into poverty and extreme student loans. In France the government is afraid of the people, but here people are afraid of the government. In America, they have done a masterful job, of indoctrinating the population that it's okay for the system to demand you be a super-star just to make a living and not descend into embarrassing poverty and even rejection from your own family. So wonder they are burned out. Nothing was ever good enough. Why wouldn't they be burned out?

I have noticed with growing worry is that Millennials and Gen Z didn't and don't rebel. Maybe this is changing with growing protest movements like Occupy and Black Lives Matter, but overall, I noticed younger people didn't rebel against authority as much. When I was young kids skipped school, drank and fought with parents.  In my day, I drank wine coolers as a teen and went to go TP houses and I was a goody-two shoes most of the time.  I don't have kids but looking at the plethora of Eagle Scouts and eager to please and conform types even in my own family I was disappointed and deeply so. Before I went no contact, I wanted just ONE to rail against one of the narcissists but I noticed the exact opposite was happening, they were submitting to parental demands with utter compliance. Have millennials and younger people been conditioned to conform more? Perhaps this was from the pressure of the system. Definitely it was a multi-faceted problem.


This article talks about adulting, and adulting is hard, but nearly impossible without any money.  It worries me, that the author seems to have her life boiled down to endless to-do lists. Sometimes I think these constant to do lists are almost like a religious exercise against misfortune.  That worries me. Is this what life has become now, nothing but a dog jumping through hoops at a circus?  Here one can wonder how the constant jumping up to endless small demands has effected life in negative ways. You get the double-bind mixture of being told you must succeed, but not given the resources to pull off all the goals.

MOTIVATION DIES when you just crush people over and over, at a certain point they say "Fuck it all, lets go get high!". That would describe our growing national drug problem. Depression also rises via learned helplessness and lives lived under constant pressure. There's a reason suicide rates are rising.

They have put the achievement crap on them to the extent they are burning out. The matrix has programmed people to be good little worker bee drones and part of that formula now is constant self effacement and embracing austerity and hardships as the norm. Supposedly now wanting your own apartment is now a dreamed of luxury only open to the wealthiest.  Supposedly now if you are not taking thousands of steps for your fit bit or constantly working on your resume, you are a failure that deserves to be under a cardboard box on Skid Row. Some of us older Gen X people remember life before they started chipping away at all the economic security when expectations of life, employers and one's community was far higher. There was some idea of societal cooperation and social contract. 

I was talking to an online friend and wanted to share our conversation about millennials. They are a fellow Gen X who had life on the hard setting like me. With friends, I have talked about the plight of millennials, and one thing I noticed is their reactions to their economic and other pressures were far different.

Peep: One more point, do you think millennials and Gen Z are less rebellious?


"Yeah, I do. Schools are a LOT more totalitarian and intolerant and punitive than they used to be. Rebelling is a lot riskier than it was in the days of "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" and "Ferris Bueller's Day off".

The advent of smartphones plays a big role, too as does the rise of paranoia throughout the adult world. Parents and communities are conditioning kids to be risk-averse...and and why bicycle or walk several miles to a friend's house when you can just text and skype them instead? And avoid kidnappers and pedophiles in the bargain?

There's a tipping point though....once people feel there's nothing left to lose....that's when you'll REALLY need to watch out.

Today's kids aren't there yet...they may be poor themselves, but most of their parents are not. It's their parent's houses they're living in, their parent's late model cars they are driving--even if they are in their 20s and 30s..adulthood is much delayed for the young'uns now. If their parents don't like what they're doing, both house and car are gone.
 man beings. Like George Carlin says, "they got you by the balls!"

Here we discussed protesting and how one felony charge could get you sent to jail and your life ruined. I protest actively but admitted to my online friend this was done in more small towns, where our numbers were small enough to keep the cops from knocking us out with batons and hauling us off to jail. I didn't have to fear arrest like others though I had my pictures taken before and my husband could have lost employment once due to war protesting activities in our old town. One mark on an otherwise clean record, the ramifications for one's life could be dire. 

"That bothers me, too. I think most of the answer is, they are growing up in a far more authoritarian, insecure, and paranoid environment than we did. Consequences for misbehavior are far higher for then than it was for us. 

For example, when I was in grade school, there were no metal detectors and no police in school. If you misbehaved, you'd get sent to the principal's office, and face detention, or at worst suspension from school. Today, the same misbehaviors means police involvement, jail time in juvenile hall, handcuffs, police car, behind bars with the steel doors, an arrest record. That's pretty traumatic for a 6-year-old. Get frisked on entry to school every single day... Zero tolerance policies... doesn't take long to get the message that if you don't conform 100%, the consequences will be VERY severe--far more so than when you and I were kids.

I recall 80s movies like "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" and "Ferris Bueller's Day Off". No kid would think of doing stuff like that today as punishment would be certain and VERY severe.
There's a strong fearful, paranoid attitude in schools now that didn't exist when I was a kid. Kids looking over their shoulders...teachers required by law to report any signs of abuse, bruises and the like, even if it came from perfectly innocent activities like climbing a tree.

People call cops on parents from just seeing kids outside unsupervised now...and parents actually face having their kids taken away just for letting them play outside in the front yard while staying inside themselves--even if they're watching the kids out the window while doing dishes or something. 

So if you're a kid....outside alone..any adult anywhere becomes a threat to you...call cops on you...call CPS on you...and kids get bombarded with the message about "stranger danger" don't they? Far more so than when we were kids. They're being taught and conditioned to fear adult strangers, any and all adult strangers. They all carry mobile phones now and can call cops on you within seconds of seeing you. And you better believe kids are made vividly aware of the dangers of kidnapping, pedophilia, sex trafficking.

And it's a precariat employment world, now. Conform, or that door into the stable middle class world gets shut on you, forever. And high schoolers are keenly aware of it.

Childhood lifestyles have extended well into the 20s and 30s now for a lot of millenials. People with college degrees still unable to find a dependable job that pays a living wage, so they're forced to stay with parents even into their 30s. It's that, or homelessness.

I recall a youtube video of a girl who lived for a few years in Europe, then moved back to the States...and she said the single biggest thing she noticed moving back here was the atmosphere of sheer fear she encountered everywhere in the USA. That atmosphere doesn't exist at all in Europe. In Europe she was used to wandering around female and alone, even in very sketchy areas, completely without any feeling of fear, encountering lots of people, most of whom were terrific, and this felt very normal to her. None of this paranoid looking-constantly-over-your-shoulder feeling in the USA.

The rise of the surveillance society and the security state in the USA, too. Red light cameras, speed cameras, security cameras everywhere, monitoring freeways, sidewalks, bus stops, train stations. Cell phones everywhere, too. And if you're carrying a smartphone, every step you take is being tracked and recorded. They all have built-in GPS and that data is being sent to giant data warehouses and the megacorps do share that with law enforcement, and law enforcement can do illegal fishing expeditions now...no one will stop it. 

That stuff didn't exist when we were kids.

Post something silly or stupid as a kid on social media...and it doesn't disappear and get forgotten the way it once would. Witness Ocasio-Cortez, those Republicans digging around for that college dance video she posted once, 10 years ago, trying to shame her out of office.

The young are aware of this. What they are NOT aware of is how different society was when you and I were in grade school. Intellectually, they are, but not at a gut level. They don't know what it feels like not to have your every move be monitored. They don't know what it feels like not being frisked and metal-detected every day at school and not to have to worry about cops arresting and jailing you because you brought a plastic water gun to school.

Heck, I used to carry a folding pocket knife with me to junior high. To me it was an "always be prepared" Boy Scout thing, a "Ten Essentials of Backpacking" thing, a handy thing to have in an emergency when you needed to cut a rope or something...not something to ever use against people.. Never got in trouble for it, nobody cared back then. It was fine. No rule against it, I never wielded it against anyone. Just a "Ten Essentials" thing.

Wouldn't dare do that now. I'd go to juvenile hall for it, be branded a criminal and troublemaker, potentially dangerous....my entire future my collapse just from that alone..."oh...you have an arrest record...sorry but the position is filled. Thanks for applying."

My friend made a lot of good points. The police state crack-downs and destruction of our freedoms in this society have already taken a toll.  The young were told to conform or else.  They have dealt with a far more controlling and paranoid society. Often, because of my religious deconversion, I've examined the themes of punishment and control and how in a competitive society like America, everything is about punishment and control. It is a fear based society.  Don't comply, we take your money away or your ability to have money.

The European girl probably felt more at peace and safe but one thing I have noticed is how people from those countries, seem more content, not always under constant threats. These are perfect recipes for burn out. Because of my own economic experiences, a lot of my empathy rests with millennials. I saw futures being destroyed as people weren't allowed to survive and live on their own, under parental and financial control for very long durations. It grew distressing and triggering to see millennials disparaged in the news, as "lazy", "entitled" and "not working hard enough" as the economic rug below them was pulled out from under them.

I am not sure what answers I have for all this, but I find myself telling millennials, to get politically involved, to question the police state and to question the system that is crushing them.

10 comments:

  1. the working world because of the changes in laws and systems as the inspiration of tragedies that occurred in the 1970s to the early 2000s. Examples of tragedies are shootings in schools, kidnapping, murder of children, human trafficking, racism against black and brown students, the Great Recession that negatively affected job markets, social service system that are on the alert for abusive parents and adults who have access to children and vulnerable adults, and prevalent misogynistic attitudes against humanities of the late.

    However, older Millennials are catching up with Baby Boomers and Generation Xers in the job market and are fighting back against those who had been hostile toward Millennials. Jean Twenge's book claiming that Millennials is the most narcissistic generation did many bad things to Millennials in college and the workforce. Because of prejudice against Millennials, educators and social services systems have been setting up a system to steer Millennials and Generation Zers to depend on their parents financially rather than opening doors for them to get a job that pays family living and help them to settle down. It's terrible news for Millennials who have narcissistic parents, especially those who have malignant narcissistic parents as we do.

    However, In my area, many young adults are going to college, starting their career, and settling down. My city is liberal, so their social services system is helping adults of all ages to become independent of their parents or men. The social services program has been helping single adults to become independent because they do not want to see us depend on abusive people who have the money to support us such as our abusive parents, lover, or somebody who has the money. Like young adults of the earlier generations, Millennials started at the bottom and got better with "adulting." They also got caught up with the Great Recession that negatively affected the kinds of a job market that the Baby Boomers have been accustomed to throughout their lives.

    The job market today is not friendly to job seekers and workers who remember family living salaried positions with benefits and remember parents or grandparents who were able to work for the same company for forty plus years before they retired. Millennials, especially the younger Millennials who were born in the 1990s, are learning how to survive in a job market that their parents or grandparents do not remember. Older adults and educators accuse Millennials and Generation Zers of being more narcissistic than members of earlier generation because they are victims of Jean Twenge's biased research studies on young people and should be looked at critically. (cont.)

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  2. The police-state system at schools and in front yard preventing children from playing with their friends or neighbors is a result of many tragic events that occurred in the 1970s to the early 2000s as described earlier. Racism and white supremacists' desire to maintain a system of white supremacy that benefits them is responsible for the police state and the school to the prison pipeline system. These tragic incidents of the 1970s to the early 2000s are used as justification to police black and brown students in school when in reality these tragic circumstances occurred in white neighborhoods or white schools.

    Young people are forced to be obedient in order to survive in schools for many reasons. Over the years, I read in the news about security in school after the shooting incidents occurred. The shooting in Columbine High School was cited the most because one of the shooters, Eric Harris, planned to use a powerful bomb that would have obliterated the whole school and killed many more people. However, the second killer, Dylan Klebold, deactivated that bomb before they come to school (source: David Cullen's "Columbine"). Parents received instructions from schools to raise their children in certain ways we do not remember from our childhood years. Based on what I read in this blog, I could see why young people do not rebel nor protest as much as adults did fifty plus years ago. These children and young children do not want adverse decisions on their lives, so they have to behave, which is sad.

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  3. "Before I went no contact, I wanted just ONE to rail against one of the narcissists but I noticed the exact opposite was happening, they were submitting to parental demands with utter compliance." -- and therein lies the problem. Over-compliance actually makes people work less; the desire to discover and find a creative way to survive is not self generated.

    But, just like abuse can be multi-generational, so can the pressure to conform. Most baby boomers actually rebelled against conformity themselves.

    "Get a haircut!" was shouted at the young men by their parents.

    "Stand up and be a man and fight for your country!" was the shout-out to young men about the Vietnam War by parents who fought in World War II (i.e. "go to the slaughterhouse to fight an unjust war to prove to us that you are as much of a man as us"). There was a good reason for all of the protests against that war.

    The baby boomers who refused to conform, who were abused by their families, or thrown out into homelessness ended up in communes. Communes were very common. It is one reason why Vermont went from a very conservative state to the most liberal state in the union. It is also why many communes had "no rules", because conformity was seen as unhealthy. But ... there were also commune cults who were far more conformist than any family could be and where they were fooled and "love bombed" in.

    The WWII generation that liked packaged food for its convenience was challenged by the baby boomers: it wasn't real food.

    20 year old men in the 1960s were only supposed to shake hands with their fathers, not hug them. They were supposed to be tough and not show emotion. Praise was supposed to lead your child to the devil. If a boy or man cried he was told: "Stop your crying! You are acting like a girl!"

    The result is that baby boomers hugged their own children, including boys, told them what a great job their boys were doing when their efforts warranted it, and made it okay for men to cry.

    In many ways, the baby boomers were more like their grandparents (of the roaring twenties) than they were of the World War II generation.

    And we know that the generation of the roaring twenties got "punished" by the Victorians for upsetting the rules by drinking in Speakeasies, for bobbing their hair, for not dressing properly (i.e. showing ankles on the beach, for not wearing corsets, for showing their bare arms). Sexual promiscuity was just being experimented with then. The reason why women bobbing their hair was thought to be so deviant is that it was the first time in centuries that women cut their hair short. It was upsetting the status quo. Jazz was thought of as "the devil's music" as rock and roll was in the sixties. And rap as aberrant and evil to the hippie generation.

    There is a lot of hypocrisy from generation to generation.

    The youth have been blamed for being deviant slackers for centuries. I read something from the 1600s by someone judging the youth, and it sounded like it could have been written today. As in the 1600s, children were mostly living with their parents and expected to conform to their parent's wishes. While abuse wasn't as common then because the old generation had to rely on the young generation for their care and compassion, many of the older generation still tried to exert the control they could.

    Abuse comes from unrealistic control and entitlement. When taken to extremes, abuse is born from it.

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    1. Yeah the over-compliance scared me. I know I was far off, but I didn't even seen normal teen rebellion.
      I would say it would bring less work and less drive. They go along to get along. I remember that baby boomers were considered unconventional, and rebelled against authority, I wonder if this had anything to do with their extremes in wanting to stamp it out of their own children and grandchildren. How on earth did the "hippie" generation turned into the religious fascist generation? [caveat yes there are liberal Baby boomers, but there's so many conservative ones who have impacted the country in a negative fashion]
      Did they get all the rebellion out of their system early on? I remember reading some who thought they had sold out for cash, well they were rewarded with good jobs and this is when one's success became so important, 80s was "the greed is good" generation.
      Yeah that's interesting about communes, some still exist like Twin Oaks, maybe the few oldsters left in those places are the ones who stuck by the former values. I've read in some sociology books the hippies were less numerous then believed, they were a thin sliver of society, but most were conservative, which was kind of disappointing to me. But then Nixon got elected didn't he?
      Yeah there were cultural differences, their parents were from the stiff upper lip school, no sharing and kindness. I think mine were far more old school even for baby boomers, my father, was technically a "Silent" but had many Baby Boomer traits, born in 1941.
      Hmm how did the flapper generation changed, I guess they would have been the 40 somethings of WWII generation. The so called "greatest generation"?

      Yeah in history books you can see things from other generations where they write that young people are lazy, etc. I know I am supposed to be an old woman now complaining about the young. I know I never had kids, don't know if that changed the equation. LOL

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    2. My understanding is that the baby boomers were split in half between liberals and conservatives, and they still are today. That hasn't changed much, and I think it very much contributes to a divided nation today. From the studies I have seen, Generation X is very conservative in terms of voting and values, and the Millenials are very liberal in terms of voting and values. So even today, with these 3 generations, we have a very divided nation.
      During the youth of the baby boomers, conservatives backed Nixon, and the liberals backed Hubert Humphrey, Bobby Kennedy and George McGovern. They were about as different as Obama and Trump.
      The baby boom started in 1945 and continued until 1957 (in terms of births).
      As for hippies, they tended to be the most outspoken and the intellectuals of the nation (not all, but many). The music of the day certainly pressed for civil rights, women's rights, living without authority. But some hippies also sold out. Money was not difficult to make in the 1980s and there were a lot of unions that protected wages and jobs so that a lot of Americans could be part of the middle class even if they were assembling in factories. Now, not so much, and there are so few factories left.
      I still think in a lot of ways, the Millennials being squeezed out of the job market has to do with big business taking over our nation and other nations. That's where being an anonymous number worker bee, the authoritarianism, and the lack of empathy come in. When we were a nation of small Mom and Pops, there was more empathy, because Mom and Pops hired just a few people, and those people became like family. They felt responsible for what happened to their workers. I think that is the real issue.
      In this section of the country there is a big "buy local" movement afoot with full stores in its downtowns. In some ways that's turning around our little micro-economy here. More jobs, more opportunities, more human-ness and friendliness. I realize that some parts of the nation are so deeply impoverished that it would take a huge effort to get a local economy going again. But I think it will happen when gas prices hit the stratosphere (and gas prices will some day: gas is a finite resource).
      Anyway, it's an interesting discussion.

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    3. Yes there's liberal and conservative Baby Boomers, but the conservative ones have done so much damage. I don't see Gen X as conservative, there was very few I know who are, but too many are checked out. I know some from my high school became very religious, but I grew up in a very Republican conservative area. Yeah the country is very divided. Economically I do see things going to the left, don't see how they cannot. Not enough people with money in Gen X on down, to vote for the rich people's party. I agree about hippies of the day being intellectuals, we definitely have that divide now where intellectuals are more liberal, and academia. There's a rural/urban divide too that seems to be growing stronger as well.
      Yes the unions protected worker wages and more. I think people started to take too much for granted in the 1980s, but Reagan with his trickle down nonsense, began some of our problems today as well as the religious "Moral Majority" movements that are connected to today's evangelical religious right.
      Sure there's less jobs for millennials, and more monopolies and consolidation of big business. The businesses are MORE IMPERSONAL they are so big. The days of family business and businesses connected to a certain town with social connections, have waned.
      I am glad to see your region is getting into buy-local. I see it with restaurants here to an extent but most people are too poor to have any real growth there. The divide in wealth here is extreme but there are a lot of poor people. Have you read peak oil literature, that definitely foretells some of what could be coming. I believe economics will be forced to become more local too. Those of us who are poor don't live the same travel life as many in middle class and above. I can go an entire year and not leave my county though I left to a big city about 2 hours away, once. One can see these huge corporations collapsing from sheer bigness [climate change, etc] and there being a revert back to small business days.

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    4. Hi Peep,
      Yes, I've read quite a bit of Peak Oil literature. One of the residents here is one of the founders of the "peak oil movement": James Howard Kunstler (author of "The Long Emergency", "Geography of Nowhere", "World Made by Hand" - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Howard_Kunstler. We became friends with him in 2003 (after he finished "Maggie Darling") and have read most of his other books. I think he may be responsible, in part, for motivating the "buy local" movement in this county, and in some of the surrounding counties.
      As for politics, my hunch is that in this country, it will swing wildly back and forth between ultra-conservatism and ultra liberalism.

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    5. I want to read Kunstler's books, that's cool you became friends with him. An online friend recommended some of his friends, I am glad for the "buy local" movements. I do think they are right about a lot of the "peak oil" predictions, though it looks like environmental chaos is going to add another wild car. I think the country is a cross-roads, ultra right wing theocracy or democratic socialism. I tend to think after the Baby Boom generation, due to the far less financial security among Gen X on down things will swing definitely to the left but then I don't want to under estimate the centuries old tools of religion and fear used to control people. One friend sees our political divide as urban vs. rural, I find his theories interesting.

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  4. You've probably already seen this, but thought I'd share just in case, very interesting article about fleecing of millenials https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/27/opinion/buttigieg-2020-millennials.html?action=click&module=Opinion&pgtype=Homepage

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    1. Millennials have been so screwed. My opinions of many Baby Boomers [not all of course] SINK LOWER AND LOWER. The powers that be worsen in their abuses of the young. Sadly our young need to stand up but you saw the discussion in this article why that's not happening. Maybe it will when many of them are homeless and there's no food to eat. This country is all money now, and that's all they care about, the quality of life is sinking. I do openly talk about leaving but don't see how it is possible in this state of health and low funds.

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