This is very true. Our brains are literally rewired a whole other way. I thought about how I was trained to see the world from a very young age, and how things turned out. I did wonder along all these years about how things would have been if I had been raised on love instead. What would my life have looked like if I had been loved and accepted? Where would my health be now?
Some years after no contact, this is one layer that will crop up, you will wonder how things could have been if there had been love. You get down to that core, where you yearned for love back then and there was none to be found. If one can escape it all still able to love and have empathy, that is something.
Yes, if you're inculcated with "survival mode" you're under constant stress and guilt. You make yourself small to avoid being a target, as the weakest link in a dysfunctional family. I'm sure the ongoing stress causes long term health issues in addition to the nagging sense that you're undeserving of the amenities of a normal life.
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