For the People Who Put Down "Victims"

I had someone some time back sneer against me as being a "victim of narcissists". As their narcissists were welcomed back to their life, my no contact has continued.

 I would add to my red flag list of predators, that ANYONE who complains about "victims" is showing signs of lack of empathy. I know they wanted to turn tables against me as I questioned their defense of the system. The added sneers about "fighting injustice" also took the cake.  These are the type of people who see protesters as the threat instead of the murderers or sociopaths that sparked the chaos to begin with.  One thing that helped me in my recovery was to reject the endless shaming techniques. I thought this quote was a great one.

That's one important thing to make it out of the thicket of trauma, voices like this will only do you harm. We were told to silence our truth, literally in my case for 4 decades. That everything we said was "wrong". I am not in a contest like narcissists to prove my "perfect life" or use my recovery to slap others, I see as less further along the recovery road. I've been out for years so much so while I still write about these issues, time has made the people who caused me so much trouble fade in the distance.

There is a silencing here which is the main point, they want people to shut up. I've maintained my no contact, and I made the decision long ago to continue writing about narcissism issues, because they do impact our world.

I don't want others to suffer like I have.  When people push this "rugged individualism" it is often based in privilege. They really believe people can control their reality. They don't care if you have life long disabilities from medical neglect. They are the types often who see a pandemic too as "not their problem", as I talked about in a recent article.

 If you fail to "control your reality" in America, often you are blamed.  People who buy into this system of oppression foist it's ideas on others. It is harmful as hell, if anything it will stop an ex-scapegoat's recovery in it's tracks. It is more of the BE AND DO WHAT WE WANT TO BE WORTHY. Trust me there can be many others lined up behind narcissistic parents who will still shove these ideas down your throat.

 I still think of the days when I was in people's like this horrible mental prison, where I sat head down, being told "You are not good enough"--TALK about what WE THINK YOU SHOULD TALK ABOUT.  Added to this was the idea, that I was supposed to BE WHAT THEY WANTED.  They want people always in that position of feeling like they have something to prove. According to these types, if you are an ACON, you better have money and a success or you are a forever victim! I get the feeling I have more fun in life then the drudgery succeed at all cost types, who foist this stuff on others.

I had legions of narcissists that had to be tossed out of my life, who saw me as a improvement project, or someone they wanted to control even to the point of what I talked about. One thing I notice with all of them, is they think they are perfect.

I got the clue some wanted me silent, because they found what I had to say challenging or threatening to their worldview, or their own feelings of superiority over me. "Protestant wishcraft" is a good term too, here is where religion clashes with psychological realities. Extremely religious people who believe prayer always brings results, and that life "turns out" for the good, and doesn't for the bad, can be toxic in their own way too. Too many Conservatives want authoritarianism and compliance and that means shutting up people who question the system. Just like they turn money and status into a contest, they turn healing and recovery into one too. Avoid these people for your own mental health. Life is more pleasurable and enjoyable without them.