Emigration Blues

 I thought of the escape, and clearing out out of the country watching King Trump's madness and his idiotic henchmen and than made the decision to stay [for now]. By the way if things get bad enough here, this option may still be on the table. We see ourselves as Americans, this is a culture I am used to, there's also the idea of staying and fighting and refusing to give up a country to fascist fools as well.

America is going down the chute. I voted for Biden, with a ballot walked up to the local ballot box at the clerk's office, but I know Biden is just a neo-liberal way to buy time. He still is in the back pocket of all those corporations, but I'd rather a neo-liberal than an unhinged maniac who wants to bring in Gilead with Pence. Chris Hedges has warned where this place is going and unless there are some major changes and deep reform, it's going to be bad. I still think Bernie would have been far better but took what I could get. If Trump wins or steals the election, I am expecting full collapse.

When I did my research for leaving the country, I didn't assume Europe is instantly better because of their better social safety net and health care. My husband has lived there before in the UK for a year and half in the early 1990s and an extended visit to countries on the "continent". He has told me for years, "Everything is smaller in Europe" and "This two bedroom 800 square foot apartment would be a palace there."

I did emigration research and found out my husband IS ELIGIBLE for "citizenship via descent" with  parents who emigrated here from Germany [he was born in the USA] and they never became USA citizens.  So this was an issue I studied heavily, I even went into the English language corners of that country's website to learn how to apply and which consulate to contact in the USA.

When I said to my husband, America could become a fascist hellhole, maybe we should think about getting getting out if Trump gets a second term, he was more reluctant, he sees himself as American first and foremost and identifies more with that identity than the one of his parents.  He said to me, "Well, maybe Biden will win!" I said, "I hope so!"

I went on to research things. I have some European friends and contacts online, and people who have lived overseas, and had extensive conversations with them. I have never been to Europe. Its always good to know what you are getting into.

Things I learned:

1. Americans seem to over-estimate the Utopia of Europe. [more on this as I go down the list]

2. Just getting there would probably clean us out and that would take selling stuff off. Who wants to move to a foreign country to be homeless? I also told husband, moving that far would mean giving up 90 percent of all our possessions. We obviously didn't like that idea. Nearly immobile people are far happier with access to a car too. There's also the complicated issue of being on disability.

3. Gig employment and remote employment is not allowed in certain European countries. I can't argue, unlike this place they support their workers and want them to have some benefits and stability. Some of those "digital nomads" are technically breaking the law in some places.

4. If you get too old, such as in husband's case you won't qualify for public health care in Germany. These were some of the details I checked out.

5. You have to know the language wherever you go to function. Several Germans who could speak English online, told me to really survive, you need to be fluent in Germany, and don't believe the websites that claim everyone can speak English. They said, "yes we learn some English in school but it is nowhere near the fluency you will expect except for people who use it work situations or have lived overseas." You need German to get a job like in husband's case. My husband knows some German but is far from fluent. I can ask him certain words like how do you say this in German, but he never could write a newspaper article in decent enough German.

6. I am not one for German culture, I consider it too rule-laden and the people too stoic. Other European friends were honest about the culture there. My husband's sister who is the most austere person I know, had a rough time in Germany when she tried to go to medical school there back in the mid 1990s.  I thought well, he could get the German citizenship and we could go to a place in the EU that speaks English. So I talked to other Europeans online and others I met via groups online and have been friends with for some time.

7. Much of Europe is expensive as hell. For what I pay for rent in the Midwest, and get 800 square feet and two bedrooms, I was told I would have to pay 30-40 percent more [I know the exchange rates] to get a room with a bed in it, and not even my own bathroom in Ireland. Other countries were even more expensive. That was a common theme too. I don't think Europe has the number of cheaper medium and small sized towns that America does and they are more remote with less offerings. Eastern Europe is deemed far cheaper but obviously things are very different there.

8. Europe is not handicapped accessible in many places.  I went to go find out how accessible is Europe? Is there a country where there is help for the disabled and accessibility? Americans forget, this place was a shiny place of progress before Republicans started destroying things here. Europe never had anything equivalent to the ADA [Americans with Disabilities Act] like American has had.

There's a few disability groups and such who help people but there never was a "disability rights movement" perse. There's no rules that public buildings have to be accessible to the disabled. Yes many buildings are very old so that makes it harder. I thought of me and my walker, and my life becoming hell unable to even get to an art class or a doctor's appointment. I can do a few stairs but flights and flights forget it. One German told me stories of disabled people being carried up or down stairs.  Better not take a vacation there if I ever came into money. I always had the thought that the rambling roads, tiny cars and castles with twisting staircases would be a nightmare for me.

One issue occurred to me, I am very heavy and supersized ironically pass for about 100 under what I really weight, was told water is heavier than fat by one doctor, but in countries where people are thin, I would stick out like a strange thumb. Add in the "Michelin Man" body from severe Lipedema, and that could go bad. People are used to my appearance here. I can walk around basically ignored and there's enough fat people too.

9. The right wing is rising everywhere. Germany has a far right problem. I thought it would be idiocy to leave America to escape the fundamentalists and crazies and then encounter worse racists and public Nazis in another country. Hungary and Poland are so far gone down the right wing/religion highway, don't even get me started. Germans seem to see their far right, as "controlled" and with the majority rejecting their nonsense but I found out there was even an anti-masker and Trump parade in Germany. The numbers of their far right are growing. Obviously Trump's brand of hate has been exported to Brazil and other places. England of course has their Brexit problem, growing austerity and right-ward drift too.

10. Canada, it's not Europe, but I know getting into Canada as a disabled person is impossible. I learned this years ago. Canada while smaller, has it's limitations. The health care IS better, and but there things are expensive. They are having their own right wing drift too, if you check out the news. One thing I have learned is they are outraged with America and not too happy about people crossing the border or sneaking in.

11. Covid is everywhere. I had thought Europe and other countries were doing better with Covid. Maybe not. Some of the European friends told me there were resurgences. I read of SOME anti-masker rallies in Germany, held by their right wing though obviously I don't think the anti-science and religion crowd is as big as it is here.

12. Everywhere has problems. My husband once when I was bringing up, "Should we escape?" said, "No, they've managed to ruin everywhere." He may have had a point. One can tell the 1 percent's greed has affected the whole planet. Most Europeans still have some far better health care and some safety nets, but the expenses and more are some real drawbacks.

13. Climate change is everywhere. Parts of Europe have been in severe drought for three years to even the point the trees are dying. I think that is a problem you can't out run.  I expect as the West burns, where I live now with it's greenery and expansive water resources is going to become the new popular spot. Forest fires are rare here.

The USA is very unstable. I think it means something bad when the Michigan governor is threatened with kidnapping by a group of domestic terrorists, and the crazy man who is now president wrote "Liberate Michigan". Being surrounded by crazy anti-maskers and extreme religious people and strutting around Proud Boys with their black and white flags is not easy. I do have the sane allies, but people are wondering where this is all going to go.

We did go to one protest where I stayed far away from others, the Republicans had taken over the side of the street us protesters used to stand on.  I figure my liberal allies didn't see that as a hill to die on, and just took over the street across from them. Things were peaceful at this last protest with both groups not interacting with each other. I made a sign against the extremely conservative Judge Barrett, that Trump wants to put in the Supreme Court. There was part of me that thought, "Why do all this protesting and trying to change things only to run away?" So yeah that was in my mind too. Like my husband, I see myself as an American first too though in my case, the ancestors who immigrated here are a few generations back on one side, and back to 1860 on another.

I decided to set the European dreams aside for now. Part of what fueled the emigration research is my fight or flight that kicks in. Husband kept telling me to calm down, it can't get that bad. I do think there are signs of things getting really bad here. A few people told me if you haven't already left, it's already too late.

I hope America can get it's shit together. The next two months are going to tell us, a lot of where things are going to go. I don't know if there's going to be a Civil War or civil unrest or what. Many are afraid in regards to the election.

I am scared of what a sizeable part of our population has become. There has been heartache in seeing what people stood for and supported. It was horrifying. I am not someone who sees every liberal as perfect too or the DNC, but the extremes here are beyond explanation. How can I tolerate people who literally don't care if others die? The way now 212,000 deaths have been accepted is horrific.

Ibram X. Kendi, thinks racism has fueled their hatred, and selfishness and I agree with him. It is troubling. I've parted ways now with so many people and them from me. The dividing lines are happening on a microcosm too and it's impacting my life a lot.

I do think going to Europe would be a more viable decision for a younger, wealthier and healthier couple. My disabilities are a giant barrier as well as our advanced age, and my being on disability and husband's limited work--he has moderate health problems that would make full time work very difficult. Also in my case, language and other problems would be worsened with my severe hearing problems. I don't want to buy more trouble, running away. I don't regret finding out the rules, or the option that is there, but I feel sad, that I live in a country that has become so unsafe, so ruined by the stupid and sociopathic that I even thought to research this "option".  I hope it's not too late for things to be changed and where we can look to progress instead of fascism and a dystopia. I would rather be able to stay.