A Study: Poor People are Lonelier

 Men aren’t lonelier than everyone else. This group of people is.

The group of people are the poor.

If you are poor enough, and I've written about this many times, you are left out of the warp and weave of society. Poverty is one reason I no longer have a family. Poverty led to my being disabled in the first place. Poverty keeps me from doing activities I would rather be doing. In my case I am fortunate, I do have my husband and a few good friends despite being poor. I'm not really lonely as of late doing activities with husband and friends, but I've had those times in life. Society is indeed headed in a direction that is scary for social connection. Maybe once I figure out a new church or other things I can improve things even more. This article is true though, the poorer you are, the lonelier you will be. 

 For homeless people this is even worse, think about this, if you are homeless, there's no one close enough to be taking you in. That's the loneliest place to be. Can you imagine?
The Bible had a verse I still remember. 

Proverbs 19:4 “Wealth maketh many friends; but the poor is separated from his neighbour”

Doing stuff, hobbies, going out, and gas for visits all cost money.  Even if I get an art scholarship for an art class, I still have to pay something to be there. Other activities cost supplies, entrance fees and money for gas to get there. 

So, this doesn't surprise me.

The article talks about how the work world has changed, the low paid jobs are often outsourced so the workers don't feel embraced by the company. They are underlings kept separate from everyone else. The book "Bowling Alone" is mentioned, and how civic organizations have died out in America. Lower income people have far less groups to go to in other words and have to work more hours more often than not. 

They discuss how poverty itself can burden friendships since poor people often need more help and favors and how one's self esteem is affected negatively. Those who are single find dating much harder and too expensive. I talk about how the poor never are able to find each other, we are isolated from each other. Some may tell me go find people in your same situation, but it has felt impossible around here. I asked my husband many times "How come I never meet anyone in the same circumstances as myself"? I do online but IRL it's very rare. I befriend people from all walks of life instead. 

Society is changing in a way where the isolation is growing. There's less opportunities. I notice with older people they have groups to go to and participate in but many of those groups just have boomers and older and no one younger in them. I've been in a multitude of groups like this. It's better I did things that way instead of hiding at home. The library book club had people all 20 years older.  What happens when those groups all die off? I made an effort for community involvement and it paid off. Is part of the problem that only older people [boomers and above] have the money and social capital still that the predatory capitalists have now erased for anyone under a certain age? Are younger people having socialization problems? I've noticed young people seem quieter; I don't know if it is because they aren't going to talk that openly to a disabled old lady or if they are spending more time alone and it's taken a toll. How would I know?

 Most who have read this blog have seen me talk about how money has affected my life in organizations including churches.

Should people accept such a lonely society? Do you see how society is basically no longer working or it costs money to even be seen as a human being?
Here is a Substack article written on this Slate article.

"I am the male loneliness epidemic"

He's right about a lot in this article. I agree with it. He talks about the demise of social lives in American society. I addressed how we were forced to move away from each other years ago in my article "Economic Nomads in the Geography of Nowhere"

In some ways, I never recovered from that last move, while I came to accept life here and found the good things and a few friends, there was always part of me that thinking, "I'll be wrenched away from here too now". It was a theme of my life always being taken away from people and places. People need to have a HOME for life. Humans need connection and security. That's one reason American society has so many mental health problems. All this moving has ruined society as a whole. I hope in the future people won't be forced to move so much. 

As I have written too poverty ends belonging now in American society. 

He writes:

"I’m desperately lonely.

And not on a purely personal level. Compared to the past, we are all desperately lonely in the modern age.

Do you have 4-5 friends that would come over and play a game with you?

Do you entertain guests at least once every two weeks?

Have you ever been to a dinner party with a bunch of adults your age?

How often do you go over to someone’s house that you’re not related to?"

In my case I do see two friends one about every two weeks, and the other about once every 6-8 weeks, one lives around 20 miles away and the other 50-60. I could not bring 4-5 friends together unless I was doing something with my art club. My art club usually met around once a month. Autistics don't always get "friend groups", we usually befriend one on one or on occasion couples or do activities.

 I have never been to a dinner party outside of a church context. Some of my churches sponsored dinner parties but I know I could not meet the expenses of holding one myself though I attended a few in my first IFB including a large barbecue. That reminds me of my mother when she mocked me, asking me "Having 25 people in your home is not something that doesn't require work, you would know this how?" That woman has never been lonely which gives me some strange thoughts about life. I never go to anyone's house though this is complicated that some have stairs and it's hard for me to get into their houses. Otherwise I probably would visit more of their houses. I would have some friends and me meet at the library and other places sometimes to get around this problem.

He is right about the death of the extended family. My mother grew up safe and secure among literally 100 relatives. There was a small town that was full of my relatives up to the early 1970s on the side of the family. Most moved away starting in the 1960s. When I read old books like James T. Farrell and Saul Bellows, the social and family networks even in big cities are VAST and long in duration. That doesn't apply to society today.

"In the early 1900s, it was completely normal to be in proximity to your uncles and aunts, cousins, second cousins, third cousins twice removed (I don’t know what that actually means), And so on.

He talks about how people were more interdependent with one another. People weren't eating alone and going days and days without seeing or talking to another human being. We have each other but in-between times I see my friends or art club I can go days without talking to anyone else except online. One reason I DO live in small towns, is I do like getting to know clerks, and others. That does happen if you live in a small enough place. My town is still small enough to have vestiges of the old school friendliness here and there.

"Society used to operate on a web of relationships between people that were interdependent on each other.

The butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker. Each of them had a trade and something they could be relied on for. Some of you reading this likely have a last name such as, Fletcher, Gardener, Baker, Smith, etc. All of these are jobs that cemented someone’s place in society. If you have to go and get your bread everyday from the baker, you’re probably going to develop some kind of relationship with him.

“Hey Tim, how are the kids?”

For the first time in human history, this interdependence has been obfuscated.

He talks about how women while they had to work all day cleaning the house, cooking and taking care of children got far more time to be social, caretake and volunteer. "Bowling Alone" talked about how this helped with societal connections in past decades. Many times, I have mentioned when I was in my 30s talking to Silent Generation friends in my old rural community, most said life had far better for them than their daughters. Most of my silent generation friends are long deceased now. At least two told me, "Life used to be better!" People weren't so overworked. 

I don't think life was supposed to be like this. He makes a list of changes. Maybe life was meant to be more than just living in an economic prison where life is all about money and work.  The rest of America knows America lost the plot. Even many realize most of the evangelical world seemed to sign on more with predatory capitalism than the actual teachings of Jesus Christ. Some of us discern the AI cage being built and are already being harassed to death and punished for not having money over and over! I've noticed AI and abusive mega corporations abuse those without money most of all, or who need an extra day to pay a bill.  He also talks about how society is rapidly declining. Seriously where is the motive to have children in a world like this, so they will be broke and alone too? Even with those regretful parents, time is so short, you can tell a lot of the regret is pure exhaustion. 

He agrees too.

"Work was meant to supply us with the things we need to live, not be the reason we live.

We have embraced materialism in an effort to be fat and happy, but we only got fat. The world is so inundated with cheap plastic from China that is has entered our brains.

The modern person works more than his ancestors for money that can be endlessly printed. All to come home to an empty apartment in a city full of strangers.

Aren't we overdue long ago for a backlash against all this crap?  Do real countercultures happen instead of sponsored ones by intelligence from Laurel Canyon?  Maybe in real life, think about new ways to do stuff. I try to use small businesses as much as possible. I try to get to know store clerks and others I do business with. I still want to try and find a church that is more old school and follows old ways with social connections. If you can buy something local do it. That's gotten harder but I try. Some new thing may be spending less time online, I will still blog, and getting more involved in local art happenings as my body allows. 

Are more thinking people realizing we need something very different? Where people finally say "ENOUGH!"  to a depersonalized, asocial economic slavery and oppression society. Poor people shouldn't be lonelier. Money shouldn't determine having others in your life. 

 How can we go back to better ways? How can we not let technology rules us or get led by the nose into lives with the soul washed away?  I read my state wants to put a tracker in every car to track your miles and where you go, for the future carbon credits. I told some people on my Facebook, isn't it time we say ENOUGH to this crap. "We don't want to do it!"

We are losing even what it means to be human in this mess. Is money the price of even having human relationships?  Add AI and it's even worse. There are parts of my personality that yearn for the past, and there's definitely a reason for it. With poor people being lonely,  we have to try and reach out to others, and in those things I had some nice things happen. They are throwing up barrier after barrier in front of people. I hope more speak out. We don't have to do things this way nor do we want to. Reach out to any lonely people you run across too. Be social. It's not easy for autistic me always. I don't want to live in a boring technocracy where dollar signs are your whole identity. America is getting to that point.