Tuesday, February 2, 2021
Do Narcissistic Families Get a New Scapegoat When You are Gone?
When the scapegoat leaves a highly narcissistic family does the family designate a new scapegoat?
Makes you wonder, do they chose a new scapegoat? Don't go back! I am no contact with the whole bunch so have no idea if mine did. I am gone and it doesn't matter what they do anymore. I feel sorry already for whoever it is. I am the only one who managed to break away.
Even doing geneaology I looked for other escapees, one side of the family was definitely messed up with affairs and real grandpa sowing his wild oats far and wide. Maybe when some scapegoats leave, their families fracture apart. When you pull the "everyone's trashcan for negativity" thread out, maybe it crumbles apart. If you have the guts to leave and stay gone for years and years, others will notice: "Hey she's gone, if I don't go to Christmas dinner or blow off that wedding, whose going to care, Scapegoat Sue has done far far worse by disappearing!" They may find the courage to do slow fades and low contact themselves.
After all you already pulled a disappearing act and that doors been opened. The scapegoat has already committed the supposed ultimate evil by going poof so what they do will pale in comparison. This can give others permission to fade from the family. Spouses that don't like the main narcissists or are competing narcissists will withdraw as well. People today live far away, what will people mean who live hundreds of miles away after 25 years? There are no positive memories of "family" to keep the motivation up to remain in contact.
The others may be cowards and did what they were told, but rule by fear only goes so far. The narcissist will get old and that alone will remove the youthful energy it takes keep things going. Some families probably do fracture apart after the scapegoat leaves. I'm not sure if they pick a new one or not. If mine happened to, I hope the new scapegoat finds the courage to escape.