Sunday, October 10, 2021

Will Power Dieting Isn't Going to Fix Tammy and It's Not Going to Fix Me Either.


{I posted this on a 1000lb sister message board: I sometimes post about my life and history comparing them to the two sisters on this show--I made other additions to this article}

I think they need to get to the core root of Tammy's food problems. There's major hyperphagia, excessive hunger. It can have physical causes.

I think Tammy's body is beyond the "you better have strong will" usual CICO dieting. It's doomed for failure. I "failed" on weight loss [lost 200 down from the peak] but even keeping that off takes sticking to food schedules, medicine--thyroid, compression therapy, I have bounced from mid 400s to low 500s for years. An anti androgen drug I was forced off of, years ago, helped me lose the original 250 down from 700. I lost around 20-30 this year off the baseline but obviously I am still very supersized. 

I was once 700. I eat health food, and cannot eat desserts, candy, juice, fast food, beef, potatoes, etc, many foods people take for granted and have half the meals vegetarian. In my case there's some serious metabolic crap going on, and I have Lipedema stage 4.

I still think Tammy has some physical problems not being addressed. One thing that is scary is there are no inpatient treatment for fat people. It's like you either do the weight loss surgery thing--not possible for everyone, or get shoved away into a backwater nursing home. This means having money of your own if you are disabled beyond 30 dollars a month and your entire household in the outer world gets shut down. I wanted to get put in a hospital or rehab to take more off around 10 years ago and got turned down, they literally told me, well you can still walk, cook a meal, etc, which is true, but a lot of things are affected very badly. I am in horrible pain today just from going into some stores and walking around more yesterday. I have swollen up, Lipedema is a nightmare in this way.

I don't think Tammy has Lipedema and does have obvious food addiction problems but believe something is causing the hyperphagia. I want to skip meals and lower calories even more, but even to maintain the diabetes, I get sick easily and now dealing with low blood sugars too often from being too tired to cook, distracted with art work, etc. I don't lose weight like other people.

My levels of hunger are higher than normal people's. A thin person can go all day with one meal. I feel like I will die if I miss any of the three. That's not normal. Her levels of hunger seem to be in the stratosphere. The amounts she eats are huge from what the show has shown.

She has something wrong. This isn't something will power dieting is going to solve. "Will power dieting" has failed for me. I would be dead without going more vegetarian--half diet--too anemic to do full, a strong interest in health food, and refusing all GMO, sugar, fast food etc. Some people have bodies that don't work right. Her solving her food addiction problems would help a lot. Maybe her metabolism and body aren't as messed up as mine but her body shows some major problems, with the way her forehead is shaped and more.

Amy has done far better with weight loss surgery and traditional dieting, she has some issues but I think they are far less severe than Tammy's. I show some genetic signs, and want some genetic tests. I am autistic, have multiple autoimmune diseases others never have even heard of, am deaf from one and even one ear is double the size of the other, so there's signs on me too. They should do more extensive testing on Tammy.

She  is WAY TOO ISOLATED. That alone will take someone to food if they are addicted. I deal with severe isolation but because I am married things are far worse for her. Covid really made this worse for me. Superfat people are rejected by their families and society. Some people may be friendly to you in groups etc. I formed my life around groups for social interactions, but it's far harder to find local friends to hang out with you. People simply DON'T when you are at these super-sizes. It makes sense, you are so large, you can't do things easily, you can't walk very far. I was fortunate to have so many activities I could do, in group settings prior to Covid. This included stamp club, art class, disability group, book clubs and activities with my UU church.

I had one local friend dump me because her family told her that they were embarrassed for her hanging out with me. I was on a lower end of my weight scale then, probably around 460 at that time but that was enough, she attacked my autism as well. So Tammy is stuck at home all day with no one to talk to. One also feels pain from rejection from a unloving family, Tammy is more cared about except by the Mom but you can tell they look down on her for being fat. She also is abusive to people herself which is a sad combination. It's horrible how she tells off the family all the time, a family that has stuck by her and tried to help her. She needs far more then their help though. My family was abusive and I went no contact. She is on a definite shame spiral. I thought about how happy she was with the trainer too. She simply blossomed in the attention. The shame spiral will destroy her. She is lashing out at others which is the worse way to go.

With Tammy she can't get in cars or buses or drive, so that adds to the isolation. I don't know if a car could be set up for her to drive, she's too big to fit in a seat I think, and put in the back. That alone leads to the extreme isolation. They live too rural for her to get on a bus. These things affect my life where my husband drives me but I am dependent on him. I can fit in car seats but driving is harder because of the legs and fit, I could drive our van in an emergency but it is painful. I even question going into a cohousing place or somewhere where there would be automatic involvement with others instead of living in a small apartment set apart from everything and everyone but those really are only open to the middle class and above.

Tammy at least has show money but imagine with people on fixed incomes, they aren't going anywhere. The isolation of super fat people adds to the weight, less activity and in her food addiction, she's home alone with the refrigerator, nothing to do, and few hobbies outside of her sister. Tammy is going to die unless they put her in a rehab that doesn't allow food cheating, and some immense counseling and exploration of physical issues. She needs the psychiatric issues with too and food addiction but also any underlying physiological issues.

Friday night dinner, Tikka Masla boneless skinless chicken thighs, corn salad with veggies with left over corn, there is sauce on the rice. The cucumber is from my garden.

If I won the Lotto tomorrow, I would go into a weight loss/medical treatment program rehab of some sort. I did look into going into a specialized Lipedema/lymph clinic, but was told that I already do at home what the lymph clinic would do for me, which includes hours of wrapping legs, and 2 hours a day in the leg machine. Yes it scares the hell out of me I would be even fatter and bigger without doing these things. I spent 3-4 hours a day on it. My legs get so thin when a therapist wraps them but they know I do the best I can. My Lipedema goes up to my chest too.

Why don't they have specialized weight loss rehab centers or programs for the severely obese?  I do ask why there is so much more help for the drug addicted and so little for the fat? It really makes me wonder. I want to go somewhere where I could get 100lbs stripped off for more functionality. Going from 515 to 415 would be a game changer. Tammy needs to go a gym even if she has to do it on a walker. I attended the Purple gym on a walker for two years before Covid, made that impossible. I kept my membership and am hoping to go back. I want to go back right now, but husband still doesn't think it is safe with Covid.

I do think she needs more help, a lot more help. I also need more help then I am getting so not judging her. Some weight loss centers don't allow calls out for food delivery etc. I got put on "diets" in the hospital but usually when I am hospitalized I am too sick and hate food so even that doesn't get eaten. 

I think 1200 calories is too low, and I can't stick to calories that low and never could with the hunger.  1800-2000 would be more realistic for her. The all or nothing stuff is messing her up. The starvation diets lower the metabolism. I've been down that road. I wish medical professionals would figure out some of us are beyond will power dieting. We need more help. Tammy definitely does.

Thursday Dinner, those are vegetarian "grillers" not hamburgers...

I am seeing a medical nutritionist. I took pictures of all my food for 5 days and showed it to her. She told me she was shocked at how many vegetables I ate and that she has to tell most people to eat more vegetables. My meals included an egg sandwich and blueberries for breakfast, a vegetarian dish with some noodles, garbanzo beans, green beans and bean sprouts, various salads, a vegetarian burrito, with some black bean soup, some Tikka Masala chicken with rice and corn salad, refried rice with left over tofu sausages, cauliflower casserole made with yogurt, a couple turkey sandwiches, bananas, low sugar granola with teff and a few glasses of Lactaid milk.  I don't think my portions and other things were considered too bad. One thing in blood tests they know if you are going nuts. My A1C was 6.8 last time? They want me to try to get it down to 6.5. 

A lot of my life is centered around cooking and figuring out "WHAT" to eat.  The reason they have me seeing this nutritionist is because my uric acid is sky high. I read once severe Lipedema can cause high uric acid levels and need to research and print out the website where I saw this discussed. They have figured out the problem is not dietary. My protein levels are not high enough.

Saturday night dinner, left over tofu sausages, carrots, bean sprouts, onions, green pepper, eggs, leftover rice made into refried rice.

I got tired last week and feel guilt because the CFS took me away from some exercising but I did go out gardening and pruning tomato plants and walking around some large stores. Later I did do some Sit and Be Fits and another work out for old people. Since I discovered I can get Youtube on my TV it's helped my exercise life. It's not just the Comcast Workout videos anymore. Tai Chi is enjoyable.

 I had to clean and do a variety of things and had multiple medical appointments. I have many more this next month. I have noticed the spoons theory applies to my life and then some. There's only so much energy and even if I do an art project, something else is taken away from. I had some pain this week but my mobility this week was better then a few weeks ago, it really does change drastically from some of the rheumatology problems. This week I was able to do a bit more. 

I told the medical nutritionist, I feel unable to sink the food down lower to whatever caloric level would strip weight off, and that even keeping the weight stable takes effort. I also discussed with her the extreme hunger problems and was open and honest about how hungry I am ALL The time. This is physical hunger with full stomach growling the works, not just boredom. The uric acid issue is still being explored. She was nice and professional and I discussed my complex weight history to her including the huge gain, showing pictures for proof. My plan is to ask her for more advice on what to do. Maybe she can get other doctors in on the action. The uric acid thing is worrisome, there's so much WEIRD stuff going on with my body. 

My eating has kept to the schedule. It's just hard to know what to do.  Partial vegetarianism is improving my health but I am fighting the river to keep from drowning. Us super-fat people need more help, we may have a variety of issues impacting our weight but there needs to be more help out there.  I need more help and so does Tammy. Some avenues I plan to explore are more help for pain, and fatigue and seeking more expert advice on the Lipedema. I need to bust out of the Covid cage too for survival. 


  1. Your food looks delicious here Peeps. It's obvious you are trying harder than even the thinest, most health conscious. It must be expensive too, to do the tofu sausage, sprouts etc. I know that is a concern for you as well. How much do you think this medical treatment/rehab would cost?
    I read an article once about a woman whose husband died when she was sixty. Her kids were grown, and she felt very lonely in her home, cluttered with fond memories of her deceased husband. She decided to sell her home and get a fresh start. She didn't want to burden her children, and she wanted a life with interesting activities for herself too. She shopped around and found what she thought was the perfect retirement home. It had scheduled activities and trips, was just down the street from a nice place to shop, had a bus stop right outside etc. She was excited and hopeful about her new life. What she didn't account for, she said, was her age being so much younger than the others, who mostly talked about illness and looming death, and had no "sua de vive". Gossip was a huge problem too, she said, with nothing good being said. The old adages "Familiarity breeds contempt," and "Misery loves company," come to mind. She began to isolate and became depressed. She knew she had to cut her losses and move on. She ended up living in her daughter's house after all, where she said she at least felt welcome and a part of what was going on, like interacting with her grandson. Just thought I'd share her story briefly, for whatever it may be worth. Also, many Americans are retiring here, many of them on social security alone ($1200 a month) although paying rent out of that can be challenginn ($300 a month average) Still way cheaper than the old folks home alternative!
    I saw these twins on Dr. NOW. I watch those documentaries whenever I can, but we are limited to whatever is put before us, mostly re-runs from paid satellite T.V. I recall Tammy's sister was approved for bypass surgery, but Tammy wasn't. And she did act out badly. But she later rallied, and showed she cared, when her sister was having her surgery. Later saw Tammy's vulnerability as an overweight woman (that you spoke about) as she put her makeup on (looked very pretty and feminine) and waited for the faraway boyfriend to show, like giddy school girl, who never came. She also moved next door from her sister, if memory serves, and seemed to have a new "pep in her step," ripe with anticipation about her new life to be. I am sad to see that in this clip you put up here, that she weighs at least 150 pounds more than she did then. I agree, that people can be easily derailed from their goals, when underlying issues are not addressed. Myself included. I've had some weight loss goals of my own, which I have yet to accomplish. My birthday came and went, now I've got xmas in my sights. I'll let you know how I do. This covid research hasn't helped. I agree there comes a time when we must leave this behind and return to our regular lives. Question is, if we do, how "regular" will they be?

    1. Thanks Chelle, I am glad my food looks delicious. Money is getting tight so I know that is going to affect groceries, but I have my work arounds, I will be using veggie stands until they close in Oct even to get peppers and vegetables.
      Food does cost me a lot of money and work. While I do eat out some, ate a falafel wrap this week and probably some vegetarian burrito soon, I have to do a lot of meal planning.

      Medical rehab is 10s of thousands. I am going to try and figure out something, went to purple gym as my own form of rehab. I am going to go do a Sit and Be fit today. Maybe I can go to physical therapy again. I need to get some new leg bandages, they do wear out.
      Wow that's interesting about the lady finding the retirement home. That had to be a shock to her, that she wasn't happy with the people there and doing activities and more.

      I could enter this one program which I do need, to keep me out of the nursing home in two years and it is a day program where I can get aides, full medical care, and crafts, activities, trips, lunch, but I find myself worried it's going to be all senile people or like the people that lady found. I hope it survives Covid but I have had those worries. Lipedema/COPD is progressive and one of my autoimmune disorders could very badly impact my mobility more so have to look to my future. I just hope if I go in, I am not put at a table of senile people. I am still in my 50s.

      That's too bad the others were older then her and talked about death and illness only. Ugh that would be depressing. Maybe I am guilty I talk about illness but one thing is changing with me, I want to be around the young now, when I was younger I wanted to be around the old. It's like switching over. In my 30s, I used to befriend people even into their 60s and 70s, remember when I talked about deceased friends, some were older then me. Being disabled young affected this as so many people my age were busy with kids and work, and so the older people were more available. However now at this age, while I do have some decent older friends, the ones who act "old" bug me, I feel depressed and impatient. I have seen some of the mean gossiping, well you know how many churches I've been in. one strange thing about me, is I seem to end up talking to the men more in churches I belong in [both fundamentalist and now]. Of course befriending men can be complicated if one is married.

      I get frustrated where I live because it is boomer land here, I make jokes to husband when boomers die off and if we live old enough, this place is going to empty out. I do wish I had more young people to be around. I find them invigorating. I don't have many young friends, maybe a few online but they seem more interesting to me now.

      I know I think of the cohousing commune stuff but I know I hated gossip and other problems that often came with female roommates and older ones would be set in their ways. I could encounter people like my relatives for goodness sakes. I think I am one of those people who has to be married and live with a man only, living with women was very hard for me. It's a good thing I am not LBTGQ and had to live with a woman, had too many bad roommate situations.

      With older women around here, I am not at ease, well some read my complaining here about the "boomers", they had such different lives then me, they seem so spoiled, it's best way I can put it. Now there are exceptions to this rule, I do have some boomer friends, but it's hard for me to be in groups with boomers, hearing them talk about house decorating, trips to Portugal [the other day] endless visits to family etc. Even money wise their lives are more then I could dream. The generation gap is so huge. When is weird is my relationships with Silent Generation people [who sadly are dying off] seemed completely different, these were the old people I befriended in my 30s.

    2. Wow 300 dollar rent that is impressive.

      Glad your friend had adult children she could go live with. Amy yeah got weight loss surgery and Tammy never got approved. They say Amy is regaining all her weight especially after being pregnant. Yeah Tammy is all desperate, putting make up on and really only scooping up these feeder fetishes guys because she's so big, that's the only ones taking an interest. She's all giddy for love but they are only coming for one thing. They say she is 800lbs now. I don't know how she is not in a nursing home. Being on oxygen is a very bad sign. I was 700lbs and didn't even need oxygen but I was at weight for a relatively short time.

      Yeah people can be kept from goals when there's a lot of underlying issues. I have been begging these doctors for more tests but in my case, I don't get harrassed on weight and they tell me they know I have other problems. AKA the Lipedema stage 4. I would like to get 100 off, for better mobility and survive, but it's hard. Even keeping from gaining seems to take work.

      I hope you can make your goals. I plan to continue with more plant based foods and see how things go. I still eat some meat like turkey sandwich for lunch today with veggie soup I put turnips in, but it can only improve health and keeps kidney stones away. The little ones hurt, and don't even like getting those.

      I agree the Covid stuff just needs to end and we need to return to "regular lives" People like me can wear masks due to high risk if we so choose but it's time for this stuff to be over. This is scary but I have heard discussion on Twitter they may unleash a new pandemic on us, {google Marburg} but I find myself wondering if it is going to be the explanation for those dying or getting sick from the vaxx. I know I try to keep up with this stuff but it's hard to keep up with. So many evil things are happening.

  2. I'm glad you still eat meat along with a vegetarian diet. We knew a guy here, who was heavily into fitness and exercize. We use to run into him at the grocery store. We nicknamed him Bill Maher, because he looked just like him. Also would stand so straight, it literally looked like he was holding a broom handle behind his shoulders. One day, he complained to my husband that he really felt like crap. Had no energy at all. Couldn't get through his exercize routine. My husband gave him our GM doctor's name, who spoke perfect English.
    Next time we saw the doctor, we asked about him. Dr. said the guy was severly enemic, practically living on bananas. He said, "Even if you're vegetarian, you've got to eat a piece of meat of some kind a couple times a week at least." Also, as you know, beans are a good sourse of protein. Have a recipe, if you have a pressure cooker.
    About the uric acid. Don't know, but combined with the kidney stones, could you be getting too many minerals, like in the water? We had a curious thing happen here. My husband's shoulder was hurting for a year or more. Our water supply came from a natural stream, which naturally ran over the earth. This was collected in a reservoir, and the community was fed. Some decided they wanted the water for themselves only, and we ended up with the new system which was largely rain water based. It certainly may have been cooincidental, but within a couple days the pain was gone and has never returned. That was seven years ago. If you drink tap water, get some bottled water maybe for a week and give it a try. Got some workers today, have to go get ready.

  3. I have always gravitated toward conversations with men too. I unfortunately had bad experiences with mean school girls turning my well-intended conversations into something else, and had the same, on steroids, from my MNM. Men in general don't bring this kind of thing to the table, unless they are disordered, of course. I have been watching a case like this in real time, with the covid research, as a particular woman journalist is really GREAT at her job, and does it on an investigative level of Carl Bernstein and Bob Woodward. She gives her report in the setting of a trio, each sharing their latest. One guy's face as she does this is getting more and more twisted and disturbing. You can literally see what he's thinking, and it's not good.
    This brings me to what you intimated about what the men in Tammy's life are there for. I saw a show on Dr. OZ I believe it was, about sexual sadism, and how this relates to some men's attraction to extremely overweight women, especially on an online video setting, where they can ask the woman to eat to excess, knowing they are harming themselves, and with them at the helm of this, find it sexually gratifying. A sick dynamic to be sure!
    I have always liked old people too, but I think for me that came from the love and closeness I felt with my grandparents. And I don't think you talk about illness to excess here at all, but are just being pertinent. I think we can imagine the gloom and doom type of daily conversations the lady might have been talking about. And when it comes to gossip, I suppose there is no biddy, like an "old biddy".

  4. A falafel wrap! I admit I am so out of touch with alot of things Stateside, I had to look this one up. Based on the name, I was thinking of an alfalfa waffle wrap! Can't you just see it? Whole egg or egg white alfafa waffel wrap, with some hot or cold veggies inside, with natural yogurt as a sauce or dressing? But I guess that's why us careful people here do our research.
    One of my favorite healthy breakfasts that leave me feeling great is stir fried zuccini, mushrooms and oniom, topped with cooked and rolled omelette curly cues. If it's Sunday, I might just have a small glass of red wine. Purely for the anti-oxidents of course! Would be a good breakfast to have before puttering in the garden. Yeah, when was the last time I did that??? Must get back to it soon, this covid crap has wasted enough of everyone's time now, I think.
    10's of thousands does sound way out of reach. Maybe the other program will still be an option. I didn't know what a purple gym was either, just looked it up. Sounds very dynamic!