punishments: sadism, cruelty and Schadenfreude by narcissists and sociopaths, plus a discussion on jealousy, abandonment, and abuse as an addiction
This is a great article by Lise describing the sadism of the personality disordered. Do not miss this one. Read how the abuse adds up. They didn't abuse you out of misdirected ignorance with love, many abused you for the sheer pleasure it gave them. Many abusers are malignant narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths who do find enjoyment in hurting others. It's sick but true, and sadly many of us faced the consquences of their evil actions. Remember those of us who get away, are the ones who are survivors. Everyday I wake up thankful I am free from those monsters.
Reading this article was revelatory for me because I never had considered the word "sadism" when it came to my abusers, even though I wondered about psychopathy and sociopathy. Mine were severe enough they did enjoy the pain they caused me. I saw enough Joker sneers to know this was the awful truth. It's what forced me to go no contact.
The other day I was watching an Ollie Matthew's video, I became more forgiving of our political differences, he's more fed up with Republicans now anyway, and he was telling this one poor abused soul, "Your family loves your misery!" This is true, never forget it! Keep your no contact and take care of yourself the best you can.
Hi Peeps,
ReplyDeleteI'll never forget a Doctor Phil episode where he convinced this poor girl to meet up with her abusive step father and hash out their differences in order to reach an understanding. The girl was already no contact and tried to explain that there was no chance of any reconciliation with this man. But he just didn't seem to get NPD or how it works. He was sure all would be okay with him there to "mediate". It was heart wrenching to watch as this girl told him how she felt about prior abuses and he lit into her again, right there in front of us all, poking at every bruise this poor girl had. She had tears well up in her eyes and remained there throught, as her mouth contorted too, as she withstood another round of abuse from him. It was awful, but to be expected.
All doctor Phil said to him was, "Yeah, I know some things too."
Will check Lise's article out too.
Chelle
Yeah Dr. Phil pissed me off constantly pushing reconciliation with narcissists crap. That sadly is most therapists out there. I posted articles years ago complaining about Dr. Phil
Deletehttps://fivehundredpoundpeeps.blogspot.com/search?q=Dr.+Phil
I was going to write a longer article, but figured I already had filled enough of this blog with the sadism of my family, I didn't want to freak readers out with some of the worse stories I never have shared. Lise's articles always give me new insights when I read them.
It makes me sick watching no contact people told to go back to abusers. This always made me wonder about Dr. Phil. I've seen him gang up with abusers against scapegoats or the kid with no money, way too many times.
P.S. Peeps,
ReplyDeleteOn the sadism aspect, I once told an abuser that his actions with respect to me were "perverse" and that was the first time I understood that aspect of it. And I never forgot it. When my mother came back in for another round, I was known to make comments in reference to others like, "I guess she had her dildo out for that one," because I wanted her to know I KNEW.
Sorry about the graphics there Peeps, but on this subject I think we're all adults here.
Chelle
Hey that's okay Chelle, I understand. A lot of them are perverts too. Yeah you knew. ...so glad you got away from them.
DeleteThanks, Peeps! :-)
ReplyDeleteHi Peeps,
ReplyDeleteI was sad to hear about Tina Turner's passing this past week. She sure gave us her all when she had it to give! In her perfomances she was always dressed to nines the part or theme she was trying to convey, and ended up drenched in sweat at least midway through, as she poured her very heart and sole into her performance, churning out the energy for her fans, from what often seemed a bottomless well! This was the respect with which she treated those who turned out to see her. She was a true giver!
It's so awful then, to think of the abuse she suffered at the hands of her husband Ike Turner, early on in her career and as a young woman. She said he once beat her with a wooden shoe stretcher about the head and then made her haxe sex with him. On another occasion, she said he hit her so hard he broke her jaw! I get an "I can make you or break you," vibe there.
Ike was once asked in an interview if he had any regrets? He said he had never regretted a single thing he had ever done in his life. When the interviewer pushed back on the beatings he was rumored to have given Tina, he said, "Yeah, I hit her, but no more than any man beats his wife."
I think it's a testament to her inner self and values that she didn't send someone to pay him a visit later on, after she had escaped him and became successful on her own. I think many hurt and defenceless women my have been tempted to go the "an eye for an eye," route. I think I would have been one of them, but was fortunately spared any physical abuse.
I'm so glad she had a silver lining to all that, and was able to find and enjoy the love of a good man afterwards. She had over 30 years with Erwin Bach, with whom she said she fell in love instantly, at first sight. I think it can happen that way (did for me) when you recognize what is being reflected back to you by the one you are looking at.
He loved her so much, he gave her one of his kidneys! Now THATS true love!
I guess he, like the rest of us, thought Tina was "Simply the Best"!
Chelle
Wow didn't know Tina remarried, I'm glad she got some years of happiness. I always picture the Jackson Dad when thinking of Ike Turner, like they were very alike, isn't that weird. I'm glad she got away from that abuser. I liked her music in the 1980s, when they announced she had died, I hadn't thought of her in a long time but I'm glad she got some good years and had a relatively long life. She was strong to get out, and a trail blazer back then!
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