Making Homelessness Illegal While Increasing Homelessness

 

The cut off for Medicaid in my state has remained at the same number since 2016. That means in ten years even with extreme inflation and over that long of a period of time, they kept the cut-off the same. That is a giant backdoor cut in Medicaid. I live in a state historically known as "blue". I was right about the extreme welfare cut-offs. Back in the 2010s, I remember all the household budgets, all the prices have gone up by 100 percent, especially doubled. I am paying on so many medical bills, with payment plans, I have a roster of them all to keep track of them. Default on bills is probably off the chain now. I've paid mine but they keep going up. 

No one can afford their bills. Lest someone blame the Republicans only for all the welfare cuts, the welfare, Medicaid, EBT insanity happened under Democrats too. We essentially do not have social services anymore. This is very scary for a disabled person. They raised Medicare Premiums. I get a small Social Security check and today, almost 300 of it is taken out of the gate for premiums/Medicare D premiums. So I get my low-level check, an amount anyone would struggle to live on and 300 of it is gone on the first day. All costs were increased by 140 dollars in one year.

The rich jerks in charge don't care. They are only out for themselves. Maybe this is what you get when all your politicians are rich and even local ones live the 6 figure life and are completely out of touch with how ordinary people have to live. We had 60 dollars to spend at Aldis yesterday. I'm doing things like eating the same thing over and over for dinner, its cheaper and there's only so choices.  I consider skipping meals again, but get scared about my weird metabolism, that can go even lower if there's too little food. The money they expect everyone to pay on everything is insane. The powers that be lie and tell us inflation is only 4 percent, we know it's far higher. We are paying double for somethings we got just a few years ago.

I'm in danger of homelessness. So is my husband. If one of us dies or needs long term hospitalization or rehab, the other party is in great financial peril.  In my husband's case, I am hoping his sister or best friend would take him in. I am hoping friends would help me but that's a lot to ask of anyone especially in someone's case like my own where there's severe medical problems to contend with. The way they got the housing set up, as I have written about multiple times and the rest, the system seems designed to just crush people. Too many assume disabled people will be automatically helped. Trust me, social workers never had much mercy for me. The one social worker was sincere from my house call doctor's office at least but their first order of business is usually to turn you away. I worry even now about weight discrimination affecting me when it comes to housing. I wanted to meet with social workers, and talk to them about emergency plans for both I and husband, "What should we do?" but there was nothing like that out there. 

 Yesterday I talked about what we should do if either of us ends up homeless.  I said my arbitrary plan is to find an open disability apartment but that would mean moving to a very remote area most likely away from medical care, and that is scary. "There really is no social services system and we have to plan accordingly." This is why I wanted us to move into housing and why the HUD cut offs are so punishing. I'm still on one list as a back-up and probably should go on more just for back-up but the HUD cut-offs are insane too, they match the 10 year old Medicaid cut-offs that do not take inflation or reality into consideration. There was a lot more help 10 years ago.

 The system is NOT working anymore. The amount of money the social workers except people to live on no longer works, in my state they never changed anything for all this inflation. That is why Medicaid is using the same numbers from 2016. The math doesn't math. My rent is paid, but this is a burden I live under.  I'm tired of living in fear.  I also have told him chances are if we remain housed, we may have to take in a friend or other people who become homeless. "The streets are going to fill up with hoboes just like it did during the first Great Depression!"

How much do the assholes in charge plan to squeeze everyone? Until they can't eat? That usually brings revolutions in world history. Revolutions can make things worse and then you basically live in a war zone, where supplies are vaporized. Hate to tell you all but I see outraged comments on many websites, where people write things like {paraphrasing here}

"Let it collapse"

"This government does not care about us"

"Thomas Jefferson had the remedy"

"I am sick of these bills, I hope society just cracks up and I no longer have to pay them"

There's been "revolution"  comments too, I won't repeat here, but use your imagination. I don't want my blog censored.

This is something new and means people are getting fed up. Some of us are questioning a "ruined decade" starting with 2020.

These are the comments of a failing society with failed leadership on multiple levels. Thinking of that old bicentennial time, people back then liked being American. It wasn't perfect, the 1970s had problems and Jimmy Carter but there was a lot more hope back then. 

I make jokes to my husband if famine hits, well we are fat, and our metabolisms suck and maybe we would survive. Americans were so passive and bent over for all the Covid crap, will they just watch fellow citizens starve as they suck their thumbs? Some of us have friends who have helped thankfully but what is wrong with this place? I am glad someone asked this question....

What is going to happen when the lower class can't afford anything anymore?

Yes what is going to happen? See Argentina, the Weimer Republic, etc. etc. It's not good. 

Most churches don't care. Those of us who are this poor, know we can't afford church or would be embarrassed as the pastors make their tithing demands. Locally they closed our Soup Kitchen, they said, "Oh we are going to reopen it" and there the building sits still not open two years ago. We drove by it the other day. Someone told me they pass out bag lunches. I feel bad unable to give much. I do give spare scraps for food I can't eat to one food box, but then I take from it too. If I had money I'd fill that damn thing up, with some canned meat, real food and things people would enjoy eating instead of the endless parade of beans. 

The United States sucks now and is becoming a third world country. There's a reason they got hygiene stations with shampoo for the poor at your local library. People can't even afford those items. It's for the homeless living in cars and tents but other poor people can't afford it either. The food banks got worse. They hand out the same cans of beans over and over. The churches hand out the same government food everywhere, around this area, that includes usually cheap cereal, a can of black beans, a can of pinto beans, or bag of pinto beans, maybe some rice, cheap bread, and boxes of macaroni and cheese. The cans of chicken disappeared around 6 months ago. 

How come no one ever says, 'we should be able to afford basic things, this is wrong". Working people should not be homeless, or unable to afford shampoo or groceries or their bills. Hey in the 1990s, I knew bullshit was coming when they started all that "temp" crap, and I would have been happy enough back then to get a basic plastics factory job to pay my bills and be stable, but they made them all temp which means you couldn't depend on the work or the pay. I'm disabled, I never expected to be rich being disabled but right now the disability checks are shrinking and inflation has made them almost worthless. For years after I paid rent, there was always a certain buffer that was left, well that's now gone.  Sometimes I hate my body because it made me poor. It is ironic I have to go without. One friend meant well giving me more dieting advice, but I thought, "Don't you realize I go without now all the time?" I and my husband are always splitting a portion for ONE into a portion for TWO." We did it yesterday with an Indian package of food I got for a cheaper price from the Indian store. Food choices are restricted from poverty all the time. 

We are told all this utter crap about America being the richest country in the world. What a joke! The rest of the world sees this embarrassment. Iran did a video feeling sorry for poor Americans knowing the numbers of the homeless and unemployed here are exploding. 

 There's hoarded wealth at the top, but Americans are now becoming some of the poorest people on earth as far as developed nations go. Some guy I am guessing some sort of system lover, told me on YouTube comments to go see how great Cuba, Venezuela and Iran were. It was kind of weird they chose countries the USA is messing with instead of fixing problems here. Sorry that's not working, I live in an area where I can see ruins within a few miles once I leave the "good part of town", your delusional rah-rah American crap isn't going to cut it! There's YouTube videos about the ghetto area I live near and how "dangerous" it is, even though I am there an average of twice a week. These rich dummies who never see out of their bubbles still believe all that crap about America being rich because they are rich themselves. They live in denial and get mad at anyone who talks about the real state of the economy.

Patriotism is dying on a withering vine, in a place where so many have decided to lick the boots of soulless billionaires and sold their own family members out down the river. My ancestors destroyed my future life moving to this place, and denying their heritages. I told my husband, his German parents should have stayed home, maybe he would have been a middle-class man there. I would go back and tell my Hungarian and German ancestors, "Stay the hell home!"

from Passion for the Past blogspot. Check out the article too, and go down memory lane. 

Those of us old enough to remember the bicentennial, remember what a big deal it was, our schools had us dress up, our parents bought decorations where there was glass plates with colonial scenes  and brass Liberty bells. There were giant parades and celebrations. We felt proud to be American. Now that the 250th anniversary is here, no one cares.

What is there to celebrate? Our leaders hate us and seem to want us dead [Covid-democide].  They are out of touch jerks with no empathy. They have turned the USA into an exporter of wars instead of anything good. The world hates the United States now. They look at how abused the American people are and the poisonous food here and are disgusted. Some feel sorry for us while others are afraid of this place. 

 I'm talking about both parties. When local politicians bootlick that data center companies ignoring all the desires of fellow citizens, you wonder how come the sincere ones are so rare? There's nothing to look forward to but a possible AI hellscape with a oppressive social credit system. Anyone with half a brain can tell things in America are getting worse. We will be lucky if this place doesn't become like the book "The Road" and the better option would be for it to fade into third world obscurity.  Some rich boomers can delude themselves with dreams about QFS and Nesara and whatever you call it, supposedly making everyone rich, but you are taking crazy pills to think these billionaires from hell are going to share. 

Homelessness does seem to be exploding, I live in a more affluent town, they keep them hidden around here but I follow some social media pages of towns in my state that have been taken over by the homeless. Remember the town I went to college in? That place is so overrun with homeless people it's insane. There's one YouTube channel of a Christian man feeding the homeless there, and there's lots of them. Some are elderly but others are very young. They all look very hungry. 

I couldn't get a job in that town in the 1990s, so I'm sure things got worse there. By 2012, the train station and a McDonalds was known as "homeless central", you could get hit up by 15 beggars all at once. I don't blame the people begging, some have nothing. There are some homeless organizations there that hand out tents, food and set up free vision, and hearing clinics for the destitute. Getting a job in that place would be like winning a Lotto.

My attitude towards that town is a negative one, I was poor there and denied needed help. The place sucked, there was a thin sliver of rich people and everyone else was poor. You had to beg to get even the crappiest temp job in the 1990s. I won't be surprised if it collapses into another heap and becomes another notorious poor and collapsed town in my rust belt state. Think of Gary Indiana, there's tons of Gary Indiana's, scattered across my state. It's a town on the way to collapse in my opinion. 

We are in a Depression. This economy is a sinking ship. It is crazy how they have made homelessness illegal in many places while doing everything possible to increase homelessness. The laws are written in a way to make all needed activities in being homeless illegal, like sleeping in your car or camping. They don't provide any options either. When I was on X/Twitter, some conservatives were claiming Trump was going to have more homeless shelters built to get them off the streets. There's been no evidence of that whatsoever. 

The laser technician having to buy a dog bed to sleep on in the back seat of her car, that's very sad. There are a lot of people living this way now. Then there's the people who bought the camping trailer to live in. A lot of the new laws about "camping" in multiple states is going to make their lives a lot harder.  I have written about the social services system being set up like a maze where people fall through on purpose. The same applies to homelessness. They are ensuring that more people will end up homeless, but at the same time making survival impossible and writing the rules to punish people for becoming homeless. The system is set up in a way to destroy people. Some people who visit America are now commenting that this place is depressed. I see it in everyday life.

I agreed with this comment..

"veebeequeen

1 day ago

Why the hell do we have 'government' when it does nothing for the people. This makes my heart so sad for so many people experiencing this. I've lived in a van for good chunk of time and I loved the experience, but that was due to choice and not necessity. States making homelessness illegal with NO backup options or assistance is purely evil.

It is evil.

The evil in charge don't realize, they've lost people. Yeah there's still a few brainwashed MAGAS out there, the majority to be frank have jumped ship.  They know and admit Trump turned his back on the American people and America First was a lie with the war on Iran and the state of the economy. Some are getting the inkling in an owned and corrupt system, that voting just feels like a dead end.

The Democratic party is a joke and already trying to foist Newsome, the guy who destroyed California on us. I saw his new book at the library, why would I read that trash? California has the highest numbers of homeless people. His new book seems to push identity politics as a selling point.  He helped with gay marriage so look away from the slums of California and the endless people living in tents. 

The young have grown so disenfranchised it's scary, they are getting tired. I see far less hope in them then when I was young. 

This guy is right too:

[–]Typical-Mud-8589 1 point 2 hours ago 

When the gap between survival and affordability becomes impossible to bridge, the social contract essentially dissolves, leading to massive instability and collective unrest. We are really playing with fire if we keep ignoring the reality that everyone deserves a baseline of dignity and survival.

Sadly this cycle has been repeated over and over in world history. The social contract in America is fraying to nothing, there will be far more instability and unrest. One town I considered moving to for cheaper rent, it is good I did not go there. I found out later from their Neighborhood board, the cheap rent got raised as of last year and is at least 1,000-1100 dollars. As everywhere gets more poorer, the crime rate will skyrocket. Many posts are about people being stolen from. They were looking for a stolen kid's bike the other day. 

I wrote for years how poverty destroyed my health, and was part of my severe obesity story and wrote poems about it. Ironically this blog's traffic is growing like gangbusters. I get the feeling the growing poverty in America is bringing me readers, because I am one of the very few who talks about life being poor. Have any of you noticed, how there's no voices of anyone but rich jerks allowed anymore? You never see books, or writings etc. by ordinary people anymore. It's all bougiecrats, and elites. This is one reason zines are part of my hobbies. I know I am taking forever on the Covid zine, but the next one will be Fat Pat dealing with the ECONOMY. I have endless comics I already drew in my journals. When people are made voiceless that's a problem.

Why don't the Poor have a voice? Have you noticed how no one talks about poverty or the real economy except for some videos on Youtube or alternative websites? We are STILL being gaslit to death. We have been silenced. Why aren't there websites more directly addressing the USA economy? How come we have to go to the independents to get any news or any validation about what is happening? Think about that and how our media and everything else is owned by the same 6-7 corporations. 

The level of poverty among people is worsening too. What about young newly disabled people? How will they survive when survival was so hard even earlier? I am not seeing the reactions that should be happening in an economy like this. They have distanced us from society. I hope some people are trying to find solutions and I am just cut off from knowing about these things. Are things going to change? Are there are going to be more communes? Will a mutual aid society come to my area? Will the churches actually do anything in terms of food, and helping the homeless, instead of passing out boxes of government food? I don't know.  There's that point where you say well, I should be doing something positive instead of waiting for someone to do it. Maybe ponder that in your own life. 

If our leaders suck, and the system is failing, we may need to build parallel systems or do things on a local basis for survival and community. Look for needs in your area and see what you can do. It's better to be proactive in this way and seek out more community and personal ties. If the economy does collapse, this may help with survival in the long run. I do wish there was more awake people around me. I know some thank goodness. This may sound like weird advice coming from me but if you have a decent family keep them around, I hope you can help each other. That was a sign of a real family. 

I try to think of solutions all the time for personal survival, some ideas of mine are funny like, eating the same thing for dinner for 4-5 days, and some worked like thinking of stuff to sell. What about the bigger survival picture? Is anyone out there thinking of solutions? My own health, resources and power are pretty limited. I guess one thing I want to say is don't wait for the rich jerks to come and "save you" or those around you. Hopefully some grassroots stuff is coming together. The Buy Nothing movement is one positive thing out there, it's how I get free stuff and exchange things I don't need.  Americans are already starting to barter under necessity and Buy Nothing is evidence of that. I think of history where people did come together to meet needs not being met in other places. 

I went to a Buy Nothing Meet-up, and while no one took the clothing I had, I donated those things later. We got some cookie sheets and other usable items. We need more things like that. Maybe we need something food based so people can share resources for food.  Some towns may have Food Not Bombs chapters but something along those lines. This town needs some more community gardening, maybe some places can do things like that. I'm trying now to research what is out there on the economic justice front and local endeavors. I may do a blog article listing groups I found nationally. Here's one group called the Poor People's Army. 

I know the extreme wokes may have ruined some things out there, but maybe there's some still old school types trying to bring real help and answers as far as economic oppression goes. No Kings is a joke, many here know my opinion about them. Many some people should do their own protests, I know there's some real antiwar protests not associated with No Kings. I looked up one in Chicago. Are there any real economic protests or other endeavors out there? I don't know. These are some questions I would like to answer.  

 I'm just one person but I am looking around trying to figure out if there are local people examining the economy like me or trying to form other systems for survival. We need community especially in a time like this. I still dream of a church where the place shares resources and isn't just about enriching a pastor.  I did meet a local independent disability activist; I plan to go visit with soon. Maybe I will talk to her about ideas related to disability. 

The second Depression will be a lot harder. We barely know our neighbors. We have too many churches that shut the poor out. Many of us have no families. Community is gone. Some of us more fortunate have friends but in dystopia America you see people all the time who talk about having no friends. This place does everything to separate people and ruin community that it can. We definitely need community back. With the homeless, there needs to be less focus on "punishment" and more on responding to what made them homeless to begin with. I remember when people wanted society to function and wanted things to be better. Why have things gotten to the point where the actions taken are always ones to ruin people's lives and make it worse? It needs to change.

Diary of a "Conspiracy Theorist": The Epstein Files and a Society Gone Insane

 

This video has had almost 2 million views. Notice the connections that are outlined, both sides, both parties, and pay close attention to the stuff on Musk, Gates and Thiel. The vlogger wisely points out these are the "elite of the elite" making present day decisions on our lives! He also points out how many of these influential people remained by Epstein's side even after they knew he was a p*do.

It looks like the conspiracy theorists were right again. Our leaders really are that bad. They don't care about you or me. They are out for profit and power and abuse both to harm others. 

One thing I notice reading their emails that have been shown, is bad grammar, lack of deep ideas, connection and humanity. They are boring, shallow and vapid as they trade millions of dollars like candy. 

                                                Yes, that's it indeed

                             "a theoretical chart about who rules the world"

As people here know, I am to many, what some people call a "conspiracy theorist". The term reality theorist applies more. My life has grown weird watching things I used to warn about on a conspiracy and bible prophecy blog come true. Around 2014, I put a comment on my own blog, that they would rally the whole planet against threats like VIRUSES.

I became "new world order" aware in the late 90s. It had to do with reading this book on Waco and reading anti-war literature. I watched some X files too. When I was young I read all sorts of esoteric books ranging from Carl Jung to Theosophy which impacted my world view in piecing things together. When I had my faith troubles, I even backed away for a time questioning conspiracy. However I realized, the system really had something majorly wrong with it. Some of the conspiracies were true. Conspiracy people talked about the elites being Luciferian creeps as far back as the 2000s. They would write essays on Kubrick's Eyes Wide Shut movie and it's deeper meaning. 

The Epstein files have dropped. The list contains endless celebrities, politicians from both parties, and heads of corporations. I hope some have kept up with the news but many heinous crimes have been exposed. I can't write about what has been exposed here. The vlogger above gives general information. I don't want another post taken down. Mainstream news has talked about the Epstein Files now. Just go google it.

Avoid playing the embedded videos at this link, I didn't watch them myself! This link will bring up how pandemics were mentioned in the Epstein files, it wasn't good. Gates is all over this stuff. 

BREAKING: The Epstein Files Illuminate a 20-Year Architecture Behind Pandemics as a Business Model—With Bill Gates at the Center of the Network

All the names in Epstein's black book, you can see the flight manifests on this website too.


One interesting fact about the Epstein Files, is within in them, the creeps discuss pandemic planning. Those of us who did not trust authority or the creeps in charge are far better off. 

Here's one of the picture of the files. I hope to God, the truth is out there now about the Covid shots, but I felt like passing out seeing another friend said she is getting one this week! How'd she miss the latest news?

I'm of the belief the Epstein Files are being used in some way. A distraction? Perhaps to get people riled up for something like an Arab Spring in America? Epstein was most likely an intelligence asset of some sort. Our debauched leaders are just like Genghis Khan; they are the same thing doing sick things because they can get away with it and they have no consciences. These types don't care about women, and children. People are chattel to them and have been for centuries. Some people wrote and warned that the Epstein Files are to get people to tear down the old system to replace it for a false "great awakening" and turn people towards a new system of AI, and other controls. One claimed it would be the way to transfer everything to the WEF or another system of government to control us even worse. Some old time conspiracy theorists, claimed it was an "order out of chaos" approach and others claimed it was a psych-op like this guy below. If one reads enough Doug Valentine books and explores other writings about the world, they will know many of the extremely wealthy have profited from wars, illegal drugs and human trafficking. 

He's right about our institutions being corrupt.  I have my own theories too. Maybe one approach is to desensitize people to the most evil things and rip down people's souls and hearts with endless evil stories. Maybe it is simply so they can get glee at rubbing their unprosecuted crimes in our faces with the message, "We can do anything we want!"  The whole internet seems designed to elicit constant mental outrage and angst. The propaganda, algorithms, and emotional manipulations has gotten tiring.  The famous are annoying, boring and now loathsome. 

Don't look at those files too close, I shut things down after looking at a few articles and pictures to protect myself. They are bad for abuse victims. Others should be cautious too.  Pray for more children to be rescued. Maybe this is a distraction that gets them off the hook for Covid and poisoning millions of people with Covid shots. The news seems to be endless distractions and "Look over there!" mandates. Are they going to do more alien crap now like they did when they claimed there was stuff in the sky like the Atlas Comet, Northern Lights and drones? Gates/Big Pharm and others got their giant money clean out and turned society totalitarian and towards being a police state. See anyone demanding justice over Covid anymore? No one's been arrested, Prince Andrew was, but that's the only one I know of. Maybe a few EU politicians were. 

"Follow the money" is one saying.

Society has taken a path that disgusts me. Nothing was the same after Covid. I don't feel the same about other people given the endless betrayals and slavish devotion to wicked leaders.  I escaped into art which helped me in daily life. I also have my own religious beliefs to make sense of things. Sadly most of the population is brainwashed and believes in this system even after all this being exposed. 

It's hard to know who to trust or what are lies or aren't lies. My general outlook is not to trust any leaders anymore. Why would anyone at this point? But they do. 

American society with the poverty and more has become a dystopia. Are any institutions trustworthy anymore?

I'm figuring out how to escape mentally and otherwise. Even with the conspiracy stuff while I still read some things, I only have so much control over what is done. So it's better to live ones life focusing on what one can control and improve the world in some small way even if it is ruled over by scum. This society has become a poisonous one, filling the mind with negative things and horrors beyond belief. There's little sanity or reason anymore. There's no adults in charge, only debauched sickos. Maybe some local politicians are real and not owned by the WEF, but things have certainly declined.

 Celebrities grossed me out years ago. I open a People magazine and barely know who two-thirds of them are. I haven't had up to date TV in three years, everything I watch is at least 20-30 years old on Pluto. You Tube is the only exception. Some commercials pop up here and there on the internet and more and more I'm glad, it's a good thing I'm too poor to afford up to date brainwashing via the tell-a-vision. Another escape for me has been old books, the older the better but even the 50s-70s will suffice for more sanity and when people still had some moral foundations. I still read independent zines too. Now the zine world can lean liberal but there's still some old school liberals who write about decent environmental real world issues like water sheds and other hobby-related stuff. 

 I suppose for me this became the art world and time with friends though I still wish I could find a church that weren't slavish devotees to the system. I wondered if my old minister at the second IFB is glad he got his war with Iran. 

My husband is NOT into conspiracy theory. He thinks the present system can still be saved. I thought who is going to do the saving? He believes in the progressive wing of the Democratic party. Sure there's a few old school liberals out there, but I consider them rare as Dodo Birds. He told me, "You need to stop watching those doom prophets on YouTube!" He thinks they are a "bad influence". I told him, "Well one reason I watch some of them, is these are the only people who will talk honestly about the economy [well outside that really small town I escaped to sometimes] and talk about what is happening". I also told him, "Well I may curb back on some of that stuff, if society does collapse into an AI even more hellish dystopia, what can I do about it? We need to enjoy what we can of some life."  I still need to ask him what he thinks of this Epstein stuff. I know the Epstein revelations have woken up some friends recently. It's gotten both MAGA folks, and liberals to question the two party system more than ever seen before.

Demoralization has taken over the land, like the powers that be want everyone depressed, sad and feeling like all is lost. I felt frustration with some of the vloggers I was watching, "How come you lot never come up with solutions?" I wish I was in better health to exact some change. Even for all of us being poor as dirt, how come no one is setting up soup kitchens, or groups to share resources? I looked up mutual aid societies, I supposed those are happening here and there, but I'm surprised there's not more. How come no one is dropping out yet or forming parallel societies? Maybe they are and I just don't know about it. Will any of the "no kings" people protest the Epstein crap, or will it still be brainwashed signs where they can't admit Clinton, Democrats and liberal celebrities were a part of that system as well?

My articles on my conspiracy past are all over this blog

 One reason, I am not in a new evangelical church, is I can't see me going for Mrs. Kirk speeches, and lectures by Dave Ramsey. One online friend who is not a Christian, says the elite manipulate using religious things, that is not beyond the realm of possibility in my book. Her theory is that they use "Satanic panic" to steer society and create outrage and horror for control. Evil and Satan are real, but I see this as a possibility. Even I was rolling my eyes at a certain point at some of the "entertainment" crap, thinking when's the devil going to jump the shark, seeing one disgusting display by Sam Smith. Satan's workers abound, but I thought words like.... "cheesy".

                                             Isn't there a point this stuff gets obvious and boring?

Hmm had the thought now, in this sick society: "They are eating the cats and dogs" has now via Epstein become "they are eating the people?" [yes seriously that discussion is in there, but don't dig too deep for your own sake] They've proven the crimes against children and women by Epstein and pals, but I don't know if some of the other stuff is true or not.

There's probably a reason I got shadow banned from X, posting memes like this one:

Is there anyone like me out there that thinks "You are all full of crap" and remember Trump did a few things I agreed with like the USA leaving the WHO. Trump also last night talked about the economy booming. Gaslight city still. 

The liberal world would betray as much as the "conservative" world would. 

Anyone getting a clue yet that a society managed by the debauched isn't going to head in a positive direction? Some say well world leaders have always been evil. Maybe so, but they didn't have the level of technology we have today. 

Remember this article?

Me and Revelations

Still agree with this one. Never thought the world would go this insane. This verse is applicable when thinking of our world leaders. "Spiritual wickedness in high places" is obviously a given. Whatever these people are guilty of, they aren't like ordinary people. Their power and money has led them to evil places. 

I also thought of this verse when this Epstein stuff came out:

 Truth-tellers and Truth seekers don't have an easy path in this world. Normies don't think things like "There's something wrong with this world!" or ponder the possibilities of this being a prison planet. They still think world leaders are well intended. Maybe suffering opens up one's eyes to the reality of the world or brings people to question it. A lot of people don't trust the conspiracy theory world. There is a dark side to it. They can use conspiracy to lie too, there's conspiracies I consider complete bunk like the Mandela Effect meant to make people distrust their own memories and others that just bring fear. That said, conspiracies where people plan evil things are real. We have a thin sliver of people who have a huge amount of power and money, they are not good people. I don't know exactly that everything being exposed about the Epstein Files is true, especially the more extreme stuff, but there's been enough proven in courts, to know women and children have been abused. That means psychopaths are running this place. 

I will never understand why people trusted this jerk:

People don't even know the WEF exists and how all the results of life lately seem to be what they want.

Carlin summed things up well

and they called all the people crazy who said, that our leaders are evil........and may be up to no good....

GATES_COMPENDIUM_CHRONOLOGICAL_NUCLEAR.pdf - Google Drive

Epstein's investments with Thiel

I don't have many answers on this stuff. I will still write about world events, but in real life I plan to disengage from the system as much as possible, art is something I have focused on as of late. If someone is in the Epstein files, I refuse to watch their movies, that would include Woody Allen and others. I shut off my TV when I see one of these people on the screen, and no longer read or watch the words of politicians and others that were involved. Bill Clinton disgusts me as much as any politicians on the right. I don't want my emotions manipulated. It's kind of like "no contact". Why be "in contact" with psychopaths? Famous ones or not? They have nothing to say to me because they are "people of the lie".  One reason society has gone insane, is they no longer believe that good and evil exist, they have no discernment and have become fodder for psychopaths. 

No Kings Protests: Ignoring the Economic Elephant in the Room!

 

Years ago, I used to protest, it seemed the right thing to do. I protested Bush's wars during the 2000s, and during Trump's first term. There's no regrets for this, back in those days while there were local anti-war groups, it wasn't a "national" from the top thing. We didn't have a Soros group offering "themes" and telling us what to write on our protest signs. We didn't have people running around in blue vests to direct things or writing rules about what to talk about or not talk about.

My observation of the Oct 18th protest was two days ago. My husband is still a Democrat remember. He went to go protest, I sat in the car. Some may find this odd--"Peep hates the Democratic party!" My husband has the right to his politics. I do try to convince him of the realities of the world system, but he still thinks they are the best bet. 

I did tell him, maybe I'll do my own protest, and write signs about food costs, inflation, Palantir, and add a sign that says "No to Digital ID" but he didn't think that would be well-received. Us independents confuse a lot of people, it's not easy when you are outside of the two-party system. Sadly, most of America doesn't know that the UK has been protesting Digital ID all week, and as I wrote last week they are planning to bring Digital ID here, with carbon credits. This includes both parties. If there had been anti-Digital ID protesters, I wanted to talk to them but there wasn't. 

We were on the way to the library and run other errands anyway. In my small town, there was around 2,000 people. It was disappointing, there wasn't one sign dealing with the economy, there wasn't one anti-war sign in the mix. It was mostly the usual "no kings", a rather meaningless saying to me. Trump got elected. We may not like him but there was an election. Is he a king? Some of our Congressmen and women have been in for 40 years plus, they may border on king/queen-ships with their long reigns. 

There were a few things I agreed with, immunity rulings for Trumps bug me. One sign made me laugh, "He's on the list!" [I agree that's very possible] "No more AIPAC!" Yes, I agree with that definitely, too many politicians are bought off by them. "Make America Follow the Constitution Again!" --that's great to me! 

The  "no king" signs were kind of boring. One guy did have a good sign against billionaires, he was too far away for me to talk to. Maybe he was a freethinker mixed in with everyone else, but for the rest, it was just the usual pro-Ukraine, pro-trans, and empty sayings like No Kings. Some protested ICE, but then while I am against ICE's tactics, of rounding up citizens, LEGAL immigrants and other human right abuses, I don't support illegal immigration like most liberals. Why don't they care that all the jobs and housing disappeared for American citizens? There was only one counter-protester in the mix, standing up for Trump.

Maybe things are different in other cities, maybe some are protesting the economy and war, I hope so, I'm just reporting what I see here where I am. X is claiming that the protests were Boomer dominated. Many conservatives are making fun of it being an all elderly gathering, and that some nursing homes provided paid protesters. Our protest here was full of white-and grey-haired people, older people over 65 definitely dominated the crowd. I saw some members of Gen Z, I wondered if some came with their older parents or grandparents, almost no Gen X and lots and lots of boomers. 

Years ago I used to love creative protest signs but the repetitive "no kings" got on my nerves. We used to come up with our own themes, and what to focus on, like war with Syria, Medicare, etc. Sure there was some popular sayings during all these protests, like "I love my country but fear my government" and stuff like this but there was so much repetition. It was kind of dull. 

Protesting is just not the same! All the grass-roots efforts got commodified. It seems like every group that rises up, always get bought out somehow. The networks behind No Kings are a bit dubious.

Did my past protesting accomplish anything? The war stuff really mattered.  I ask that about even writing about things here. More people did figure out the narcissists and escaped them from people writing like me and I benefited from others who did so. The world situation, I'm not sure. If we are in the last days, am I shouting against the inevitable? Those are the thoughts that crowd my mind. There haven't been many victories for the common man, all the wars and financial oppression just got worse. 

My town has turned uber-liberal. It's a resort town and the rich liberals from a big city who like to vacation here have come pouring in. It's changed. It used to be a very Republican place, maybe not anymore. It is very boomer dominant here. The complaints about the protests being all boomers was true here. Maybe it wasn't in your town, but it was in mine. At this protest, almost 80 percent of the crowd were over 65 years of age with random Gen Z people mixed in. There were random millennials and Gen X sprinkled in here and there like this liberal pastor wearing a rainbow sash with a bible verse protesting Trump's treatment of immigrants. 

Many people close to me support "No Kings" and the protests against Trump. it's hard explaining why I don't take part anymore. Some are in shock that I have dropped out. I protested Trump during his first term, but now I say "Meh", the Democrats are just as bad.  Some may not understand but some of us see both parties as two wings of the same poisonous bird. The only things I even support on the left side of things are welfare, unions, and a few matters like that, and those are kind of low priorities to today's Democratic party. 

As everyone knows here, I left the left or the left left me. It ended my sojourn in the UU church. Some may say call it a day and go join the Trumpsters and the right wing. Maybe I have more in common with them now since my views on the second amendment and illegal immigration--well without the abuses match. Of course there's things I don't support there, Republican politicians aren't too nice to the poor and working class.

 I'm not a Christian Nationalist, I don't like the "go die in the gutter" ethos towards the poor or that they made being homeless illegal. The right wing is not ready to embrace a disabled woman dependent on Social Security. Trump does things I don't like, from signing a 70 billion dollar deal with Pfizer and sending 40 billion to Argentina. He's a bombastic show-boating narcissistic, who is more an actor, always blathering about "central casting". I don't like him as a person. He put an AI video of No Kings people being pooped on. That's just nasty. This kind of stuff is like we live in Idiocracy today. He's not for me, but something seems wrong with the whole country screaming about one guy, like Goldstein in the book 1984. People seem obsessed with the man. Maybe I was too years ago, but I broke out of it. Many of these problems started well before him, and my own household collapsed into poverty during Biden and when inflation really got running. My ire towards Pelosi, is just as bad as my ire towards Trump. All of the oligarchy are working against us. How come no one ever guesses that they may be controlling our protests too, to defuse any real energy to change things?

A lot of people are more "team oriented". It's more comfortable to have a group and fit in, instead of asking nosy questions. I'm a conspiracy theorist who was disturbed by Saul Alinsky's Rules for Radicals years ago, because it seemed manipulative. The Counterculture seems like it was mistake to me. Feminism just a betrayal to get women working like slaves.  The ideals of 60s brought ruination not prosperity to my own personal life. Many liberal boomers see the world in a far different fashion. Our lives were as different as night and day. I don't see the world how many boomers do, they truly believe they changed it for the better and brought in all these freedoms. I'm confronting the fact, I was more of a traditionalist then I thought, [more on that later]

Sometimes I felt like people at this protest were partying while the earth burned. I can see some people like the costumes and the spirit of fun, so maybe I am an old fuddy-duddy and sour puss. Gen X well life has been very different for us than the boomers. Not all boomers are rich, and some are good people, but in my own town, the turn out looked like Ollie Matthews said it did, a bunch of rich liberal boomers, who don't care that we can barely buy groceries or afford our bills. The ignoring of the economy got on my nerves. Maybe it's a facet of my wealthier town? I don't know. Tell me if you saw different.  Gen X is so checked out. Did they all die? Are they all working 2-3 jobs, anyhow they weren't at my local protest but very few. 

Also in our local crowd, even though we live right next to a predominantly African American community, I only saw 2 black guys, that's it. There were no Hispanics or other minorities. Some could have been in the crowd I missed.  I do think the Democratic party is less popular among their numbers, maybe because of the financial end of things. The poor and working class of all colors are just struggling way too much. 

Hey I used to enjoy my old protests in my old town, even though we protested war, we would have dinners together and this one guy would play the guitar and sing self written songs like "Never Trust the Government" He was a libertarian. We would laugh and debate. Life felt lighter then. I had uncharitable thoughts that the boomers dancing at protests just weren't understanding why young people stayed home or how we feel like our worlds were collapsing as many of theirs remain financially secure. Hey I don't want people to suffer if they are good to their kids so be it, but why are there no economic changes being discussed on the left now? Why is that gone? Why is the economic suffering IGNORED?

I felt annoyed by all the cartoon animals, and remember I'm a person crazy for cartoons and animation. People need some fun but if you are really protesting a ruthless dictator out to kill us all or something would you be partying this way? Maybe reading too much world history made me serious, all those wars, genocides, and the movie the "Day After" and wonder if the apocalypse is here. Isn't this stuff going to make people take you less serious. What do the homeless think seeing that as they limp by carrying their tent, or maybe some guy in jail who got TV privileges?

I usually like that stuff. Sometimes it seemed like people were dancing on the would-be grave of America. Some people I know get annoyed with me, when I talk about America collapsing soon. It's not a topic to be covered with most. The Uniparty always works for the oligarchs. It would be easier living my life thinking that at least some of them care. Even one I thought cared some, was all pro-Big Pharm. All the politicians are crooks. Is Newsome the guy who destroyed California going to come in and save the day? He's got actor/model looks that will help him but I don't support him either nor the rest of them like Pelosi and pals. Hillary Clinton lent her support to No Kings. Sorry but that kind of means No Kings is not a threat to the ruling class.

I saw some members of my old UU church, they remain committed to liberal causes. Many are great people. They were friendly, one guy smiled at me, they are friendly to me which I'm glad for. They probably thought I was out protesting like I used to. They know I'm married to a die-hard liberal. I have told my husband and other friends I can't be a Democrat anymore because of Covid. 

When protesters shout about authoritarianism and fascism does it matter when both parties have gone authoritarian anyway?  Where were you when they fired people for not taking an experimental medical product and locking people down and closing their businesses during Covid? Does anyone care about Constitutional freedoms or liberty anymore? I still live in fear of what the left may do to me. As much as I fear the right pushing all disabled into the gutter, with the left it could be mandates on the next pandemic go around. If they get the ability to force whatever dangerous vaccine they want on people via "Digital Ids" [an updated vax- pass] and demand carbon credits out of the poor or shut off us buying something because we ran out of carbon credits, that's a very bad outcome. Anti globalism and the left do not go together. Sometimes I just want to be left alone, I can't stand politicians in general. Stop scaring and threatening me. That's it, leave me alone. Being apolitical has been hard, I'm always walking on eggshells, hoping a liberal friend won't get mad at me for a conservative opinion or vice versa. I try to not talk about politics in real life, but other people will bring it up.

Some liberals do frighten me, because of the Covid stuff, I have good friends who are liberals too, but I fear violence in a way that is hard to describe. I spent years hiding my status, and lost former friendship groups and even left a church over this stuff. The reaction to Charlie Kirk's death no matter what really happened to him freaked me out. No one should celebrate anyone's death. Some liberals are talking Civil War, I saw this on a message board recently where they said, "We have to pledge our lives to liberty and honor", as they talked about being ready to fight the conservatives. You hear people call anyone who believes anything conservative, as being Nazis. What does that do but bring out the hate or see them just as a person they want harmed? I've been called a "hater" though Nazi hasn't been lobbed at me yet. What happens to independents if Civil War breaks out?

The right wing is far more gunned up but I hate talk like that. I've warned on here, that there's a reason for all those military guys being sent to our big cities and it's more than immigration and cleaning the crime up, some unrest is expected by the ones in charge.  They got everyone at each other's throats. I hope conservatives aren't counter-protesting, maybe it's good only one guy showed up with Trump signs at our protest. Let everyone do their thing in peace to keep the peace.

I agree with these posts. Some have said to me, "Get over it, Covid's over!" but both sides in my opinion have gone authoritarian. 

The young at least around here [Gen X on down] have checked out, there are exceptions to this of course. The young have been smashed by the economy, both on the left and the right. They can't afford homes or families, and you can see the despair many have gone into. It's really sad. I hate to say it but one reason the economy is not on the agenda of these protests is the billionaires are playing "Divide and Conquer", they'd rather we turn on each other than turn to them and ask where all the damn money is going?

Sadly, considering the financing of these protests and the scripting of their message, who is going to realize what's really going on? Trump is a lightning rod to deflect all the anger away from the ruling class. He was billed as an outsider, something I don't really agree with but this is how they sold him to MAGA. He was even sold as a medical freedom supporter along with RFK, but he signed a 70 billion dollar deal with Pfizer, so the games and lies continue. I don't see any use in screaming about one guy when the whole system is seeming to fall apart. Hey I protested Trump and made my own mistakes, though Biden turned out to be just as bad. Some of us just wish, things worked again. Politicians did their job, they looked out for Americans, they put Americans interests first instead of starting endless wars, and causing us endless pain and misery--both sides. 

One reason I cannot ally with the left, is because I see the left who praised Covid tyranny supporting globalist Digital IDs. It's scary how people aren't being told about these technocratic developments, they want it here too. Both parties part of it with Trump and ties to Palantir, and the Democratic parties love of vax passes and more. What does the left represent now when it comes to freedom, beyond "hating Trump"? This no kings thing didn't even have any real calls to actions as part of it, and the powers that be want it that way. What is the agenda? The courts are stopping some of the craziest stuff like Trump going after birth right citizens.  That's why they suppress all discussion of the economy, antiwar and other matters that are most important to the American people. Newsome and pals won't change anything, it will be business as usual. Maybe I have lost belief in politics. When everything is owned and managed by billionaires, this is what you get. I miss the old protests. 

Problems with the Social Work World: There's Not As Much Help As You Think There Is!

 

Before I write this one, here is a caveat, some organizations have helped me, including a dental one, and some churches and their programs. So I am not saying there is no help out there, there is SOME, but I have noticed some scary things about the social work world.

 They are only getting worse. The social safety nets have decayed to the point of no return. Are there good social workers? Yes, sure there are, but they are within a corrupt system. They don't pay them much. Their overlords make endless demands of them that are nearly impossible. Their case loads are crushing. When I was a residential counselor, I was in that system myself, I saw myself a lot of crazy stuff while working in it. 

Some may say beggars can't be choosers, and maybe think I am entitled, if you can help yourself always do that first. It sucks to need help. Live responsibly. Pay rent first. Avoid drinking, gambling, and drugs.  Do what you can. If your body works, and you can breathe and walk, don't give up. 

I wish I had been able to have a more self-sufficient life. You have to know even years later, I wonder how my life would have turned out if I had stable employment and able to afford necessities and medical insurance. Even one good job for him, [we got some good working-class years via his employment with no need of help on and off] would have changed everything. 

The fridge is empty again, and I did figure out how to pay the hospital 30 bucks today to keep my payment plan. I can't walk today from my muscle problems [I could walk normal for me on my walker all week] so today is not an easy day.

EBT, welfare and food stamps is run pretty direct in my state, you either qualify or you don't. Social Security runs pretty well too, except many are worried about cuts there and what Elon Musk did to the place. But a lot of other programs and social services, it's complicated as crazy. 

I have noticed when people go seeking their help, that most of the answers always seem to be "no" or where you are automatically weeded out. I wrote about my housing troubles recently where I was 'weeded" out, but I've heard many of the stories of others. My weeding out there could be a variety of reasons from asking too many questions, to being super-sized to my husband's self-employment. It hit me hard. Why? Because I was trying to improve things and again it fell through. You get an idea, and want to improve your life. Why didn't it work?

 I have been shown the door in many other social work situations. 

Here are times I got turned down or turned away by the social work world during my life

During my 20s, I was severely ill in the city I lived in before I lived in Chicago, and had my anxiety disorders, and PTSD/panic disorder already diagnosed. I went to a program for housing for those with mental health and physical problems, I was desperate and about to be homeless.  I escaped the homelessness moving to Chicago but that came at great cost.

While I worked a lot, I had two major job lay-offs happen at the same time. I was not surviving well at all, and often did not have groceries or basic food or medical care .There was no health insurance. One therapist already suspected I was autistic. These people turned me down flat, there was simply no help. I got the feeling they only helped those who got referred or had wealthier parents who advocated for them. It was a strange feeling. No one ever gave me a reason. 

Also during this same time, I was turned down for food stamps and told that I was "abled bodied" and did not qualify. This was the 1990s, the rules are even more strict today. 

I applied for disability in my mid 20s, I got it in my late 20s. I knew I was getting very sick. I remember telling doctors, and social workers about constant pain, extreme weight, breathing problems and more. This blog exposed the endless fat bigotry but my medical problems were beyond the problems of obesity.  One thing that worked against me, is I could not afford to see doctors very often except at a few "free clinics" so my health records outside of the constant ER visits and hospitalizations for asthma/breathing problems and leg/stomach infections were minimal. That's a crack that many disabled people fall through. 

Once I had to get this lung medicine [I am on something stronger now] via the pharm company's program but they required you had a social worker sign off to receive your medicine. The social worker even after three visits from me, lost all my paperwork, never sent it in, and refused to help me. The medicine cost over 300 dollars retail. 

There are MULTIPLE times in my life, I have gone without needed medication. My inability to afford antibiotics put me in the hospital at least once in Chicago. The social workers never helped with any of this. Yes, I asked too. This was in the days before you could get cheap antibiotics, and they were 100-150 dollars.

Chicago, I have written enough about the nightmares there. It was hard to find any help, even food pantries when I look back seemed very rare or there were special groups they catered to, like immigrants or the Orthodox Jewish population I lived around but no one else. The offices of the 1990s were very draconian places. I remember there was a severe lack of help there in general, especially for a poor white fat woman. There were few churches that did any outreach. 

There was a time I went to a Vocational Rehabilitation career counselor, he yelled at me to "lose weight" and wouldn't help me with job placement or anything else. I went to a VR career counselor in another town who told me to become a residential counselor, because they were "desperate" and would hire anyone. Since I was on the verge of homelessness, I followed this advice and it saved me from homelessness, but my long term readers know how horrible that went. There was constant abuse.  

 My life as a residential counselor did not go well. When I look back, I am in shock, I needed to be in a group home myself having someone help me. You do want you have to, to stay alive, even if that means cloaking for an autistic woman or trying to hide severe health problems, which only got worse. 

Later, I was working class in my small town and husband had stable employment during those years, most of the time I did not need any help. I got 8-9 years as a "normal person" who felt part of normal society. I was very sick and faced those problems but life at least felt more secure, We had some years here, where we were working class, on and off here.  We had a few years until 2023, where we didn't have to go to any food pantries. When my husband was an assistant newspaper editor at a small town newspaper, I didn't expect for the poverty to get so bad. I thought we would make it. 

 My old small town did not have much charity help. There were only two food pantries and they handed out dried beans and peanut butter. There was a Salvation Army where they served some meals, but it was upstairs, and by my last year there where we did become poor after his job lay-offs, I couldn't do stairs easily. We turned more to my church for any food--we had a shared food pantry. As people here know I never wanted to leave, but rural America is being decimated. 

Most of the time it didn't affect my life, since we were financially stable for the most part. I do remember thinking why is there so little help here. I had friends who went to the one room "free clinic" from time to time and many were very undertreated. I do think a lot of my small town friends died young [40s-50s, I have outlived some of the even in the shape I am in] due to lack of medical insurance and consistent health care.

My old small town declined so badly. One friend a few years ago, told me, "Don't move back here, it's desolate!". I wrote about how when I looked them up on Google Maps a few years ago, that everything was shut down, barely any businesses were opened. They got a huge homeless encampment going there too for a time, and that was shut down and pushed out somehow--the population there is pretty conservative and some of the wealthier ones, do have negative views of poor people. 

Some churches here do help, so I was fortunate this town due to the wealth had some more programs for people. Before Covid there were some community dinners, we used those off and on as needed, but that stayed shut down after Covid. 

Well I found out the more recent HUD cut off, we both are above even just on Social Security for both of us. Around 15 years ago, I came up on a HUD list, that lady told us, we were too close to the cut off then, within 500 dollars. We were okay with staying in private so we just continued on. Oddly I have noticed few married people in HUD buildings, do the low cut-offs keep them out? HUD is far more direct at least they go person by person for apartments on a fairer basis, unlike the housing program I was on the list for. Maybe some places you have to "know" someone to get in. Who knows? You always feel there's some secret you aren't in the know about. The social work world may work like the job world. If you're not connected, out you go. 

I found this great job program for my husband, it sounded right up his alley, remember he has been in very low paid gig employment and this worsened after he had his contract job lay off too. One place is slowly shutting down and has far less work, and he does some freelance articles for 40 bucks an article. He works a lot but he doesn't make much. There are expenses too. Anyhow this place had jobs for seniors where they put you in offices, it paid around 11 an hour. He had the right skills. Not much money but it would be a stable 40 hours a week. Even there, we got some insane cut-off told to us. "You don't qualify". No one could afford to even live in this town on the cut-off they gave us. The only elderly person that could qualify for this, would already have to be in subsidized housing or living with relatives.

Keeping my apartment clean has gotten harder and harder. I complain about housework. Today since I can't walk, I made lunch and did dishes from my walker.  Desperation and fear gets me to clean it to a certain level but it takes pain to do it.

We get inspections all the time here which usually means a week of misery, and extreme pain. I do not get to live at the cleanliness level I want to live, because my body will not cooperate. He's sick too and on a rollator walker now to function as well--leg problems. In the last couple of years, I cleaned out a lot of stuff and took it to thrift, even last week, after we had a plumbing issue, we were forced to clean stuff out of the closets and I got rid of 6 trash bags worth of papers and other stuff that had been boxed up in the closet. 

 It has been a life-long issue. No amount of will power or forcing myself is going to make this place as clean as it should be. I stare at the baseboards and have daydreams about little elves showing up to clean the place out.  Around 7 years ago, I applied to get a home health aide and wrote them a letter telling them my husband had health problems. He was having a hard time with the caretaking and we really could use a home health aide to help us with housework, laundry and cleaning. 

This society kind of stinks, not to help disabled and elderly people with housework or make it possible for us to get it done. This time, I was told, "you make too much", That was laughable. These people acted like I could go out and hire a cleaning person. I would have already if I could. There's no realism in these programs. Probably 30 percent of the people who end up on Hoarders simply got too sick to clean and gave up. I can throw things away without a problem. 

One disabled lady I know tired to get a home cleaning person but for some reason they sent the cleaner from 40 miles away. Who is going to keep a minimum wage job that far away? Whoever set that up was clueless, she gave up, because all her cleaning people never showed up or called off, probably even lacking the gas money to get to her house. She has no one to help her with the cleaning now. 

I've talked about another health program I considered going into, age 55 and above, people with severe health problems, they offer house services, medical, cook you some meals, and offer recreation. My motive was to give my husband relief too from constant care-taking duties as his own health is suffering. It's to keep people out of the nursing home which yes I am worried about. 

There too, insane cut-offs, no one could live on that amount of money or even afford an apartment in my town. It's weird they advertise the program to keep you in your home, but the financials are crazy. So I never went into this program though I definitely wanted some of their help as they offered physical therapy and other things that could have been very useful to my life. Here too, if I went into the program, they probably would want me paying thousands I don't have. Why am I punished for being married? 

When middle class and wealthy people design these programs, they seem to have no inkling of how people actually live or how little we live on or how much things cost. THEY ASK FOR THE IMPOSSIBLE ALL THE TIME. 

Disabled people are probably figuring out now we are in an austerity society, we aren't going to be helped anymore. Plan accordingly.  I feel for anyone who is paralyzed or faces different disabilities. Think about me, no hearing aid for the last 6 years, my ears got too bad for my last set of hearing aids, they don't work anymore. The ear doctor the last time I was there said, "They make hearing aids for hearing loss as severe as yours now". I laughed and said, "Well, maybe if I win the Lotto!" The last set I got from some charity but they shut things down years ago. There probably was too many people desperate for hearing aids.

Remember I see a doctor house call service, that specializes in the housebound, elderly and severely ill. They do get other super-sized people. Even they can't access me hearing aids and things I need though about 12 years ago they did get me some physical therapy I needed, a hospital bed and have gotten me medical machines over the years.

My mobility is in bad trouble, so I'll never afford a scooter or lift I need. I got one in the 1990s, my husband would have to lift into the car but now he wouldn't be able to do that and that one is long ago dead and gone.  I managed to walk on a walker, but these days from my autoimmune disorders where I wake up and a muscle decides not to work right, and yes it can happen that quick, are very very scary. My apartment is not wheelchair accessible. That was one reason I was trying to get the senior/disabled apartment to plan ahead.

One thing I noticed over the years from my 20s on to now in my late 50s is the social work agencies I would go to, would hand me a piece of paper with phone numbers, "call these people" and then you'd call or visit those places to get a new set of numbers on a new piece of paper. It went in a circle. This happened to me with the aging agency, they gave me a list of programs from the health program to another disability program I never understood. 

It was maddening. A lot of people seemed to be paid a lot of money to compile a lot of paperwork and forms but I started wondering how many poor people were really getting help. This may sound cynical but a lot of agencies, seemed more busy paying salaries, making hand-outs and managing paperwork then really offering any concrete help.

. Everything was a weeding out, and "you aren't qualified" or "you make too much". Some rules were so complex, they were impossible to understand. The answer was always NO. Now one thing to remember about me, is I do not look healthy. One can tell looking at me I am not a normal fat person, my weight distribution is extreme, I have Michelin man lumps, I am covered in huge rashes from my autoimmune disorders. A person can tell I am sick. I walk on a walker and I am deaf and have to talk to all people via a transcription phone. If I am going to be turned down... who do they help? I don't want to be an object of pathos. But I had that thought, who do these social workers help if not someone with obvious physically seeable disabilities? Are loud narcissistic drug addicts getting in the door? I don't know. 

 I'm a resourceful person, I got hearing aids before and eyeglasses before. I know how to get stuff for free legally like cookware and other household items from Buy Nothing. I've been creative in getting things I needed, like buying used art supplies, and finding ways to find supersized clothing. 

Sometimes I do wake up and ask, why aren't we allowed to have enough money to survive and even have necessities. Disability checks are almost worthless now. I have told other nearly disabled people don't go on disability if you can help it. It means poverty. You want to avoid it if at all possible. I said this to at least three young people with more moderate health problems than me. Don't do it if you can work at all. 

I'm scared for the future as inflation shoots up. This article was written in bits and pieces over some weeks. Some may say "Oh there, she goes complaining again!" but hey this blog is about dealing with reality, there's a lot of crazy stuff happening and as people get poorer, at least there may be a few voices talking about what's going down. One way I have survived a very hard life, is to analyze some of this stuff and ask what to do about it. 

 I am in really bad shape today. My leg decided to say "Screw you, I don't want to work today". Most will blame my immobility on being fat but I was walking across a small yard to do some painting four days ago on my walker. I have two conditions that cause myositis. I hide a lot of pain from people. Some may say okay you can type this article, but I've worked on it on and off for days or weeks collapsing in between time. 

Everything is a dead end most of the time. America is a falling apart economy and now there's far more homeless and desperate people. Things were bad enough 15 years ago and back to the 1990s. Some will tell me the social workers are trying their best, well they aren't paid very much. One sincere man helped me with housing stuff, but he hit the same dead ends, I did. The place I was on the housing list for, wouldn't return his phone calls, I'm not sure what that was about. My whole take on most of the social work world outside a few good organizations and basic welfare, is that there is more an appearance of doing stuff than actually doing it. Why is help so hard to get? Why is it so complicated? Why is the system designed this way?

They did lower the cut offs for welfare and food stamps under Biden, few people know this. Our prices went up by 50-100 percent, but the cut-offs are at pre-Covid levels. Trump obviously is cutting welfare and access to programs even more massively. I fear for Medicare D, and another medicine program. Section 8 is now going to put timelines on housing. We don't have Section 8 here. One rule I read is that a family can't live in Section 8 more than two years, why even bother when the waiting lists are 10 to 15 years long? So expect things to get even more rough. Too many newly poor people who are laid off, are going to find out there's not as much help as they think there is. The old poor know things have sucked for some time, The new poor are going to be in shock!

It ties into the lousy job system. During years husband had more secure income, I needed less help.  How many jerks behind desks even put me this position? That's now failing as I have written on the economy here. Some formerly well-off and middle class people aren't going to realize how the system really works and they are going to be disappointed. As the job system falls and it is right now with endless lay-offs, the streets ARE going to fill with the homeless and already are. 

And why aren't there any job placement programs, one agency could make sure of criminal records and medical ability and then find jobs for people or even assign them if needed or if the person failed in the first place at getting a job. The system doesn't take into account how rampant discrimination is happening over age, moderate to mild health problems, looks, mild obesity, and more. People are getting sidetracked, but I noticed in the social work world people seemed to have forgotten about the term job placement instead of pushing people into a dead end job search process. This reminds me of those told to find an apartment with section 8 vouchers in that one book on homelessness I read, they got the vouchers but all the landlords turned them down. Why push people into the same job system that left them unemployed from before?

 With the ghost jobs of today and the endless AI disappearance of resumes, I doubt this has improved. The corporations are more busy giving jobs to H1-B for tax cuts instead of hiring Americans. You ever noticed they never confront the weaknesses of the job system and why so many people are closed out? They also never address that many of the poor and desperate now are working!

They won't realize the "weeding" out element of it all. An example of this, is one charity told me, "We will pay your electric bill only if you have a shut off notice", I had run up a giant electric bill a couple year ago from cold weather and was way behind. This is what they told me. I decided to enter this weird payment plan with the electric company where I had to pay 50 bucks a month for over a year to keep the lights on. I paid it off. The electric bill is paid up now. If one needs machines to live, having it shut off is a bit risky. 

I called once, hoping a senior or disabled apartment would come up, and asked if there was any agency to help move disabled people. I didn't want to burden friends unless I had to. We are too disabled to move furniture. I was in shock when I was told there was nothing like this. I remember one friend from the 2000s, telling me she had to go to the Red Cross to get help moving from one disabled apartment to another in another state. It's shocking some of the things like that, why don't they help with that sort of thing or make it possible. What do very old and sick people do? I'm not moving now at least, so that's a moot point.

My husband and I now joke about the social work world. "Don't bother" is our mantra now. He tells me, "Don't waste your time trying to get help from them".  I searched for cheap apartments and wrote about how that went. Sometimes I've asked for help and gotten some, like with eyeglasses and leg bandages for my compression machine they wanted a thousand dollars for but we know the answer is NO. Some food pantries are okay and things like that but I've gotten realistic about this stuff.

Americans are being made desperate, and they have succeeded in separating us all from each other. Our rich families don't care about us even if we become poor. My mother had it in her power to help my husband get a middle-class job years and years ago. The pastors want your money, my second IFB that's all that guy cared about. The churches want dues, tithes, etc. 

We have some friends who have helped us, thank you friends. I would rather have been able to give rather than be in constant need. The social safety net is fraying and is nearly gone. This feels like a very dangerous country to live in for a very disabled person.

My own situations have been very hard but this kind of thing has happened to many others. Some of the stuff I have seen has troubled me. Remember in my case, I have basic medical care, and am housed in a safe area. I get scared for people. It's getting bad out there. 

Here are times I have seen others turned away from by social workers in some shocking scenarios:

I have seen plenty of people go through even worse than I have.

One homeless online acquaintance was in a wheelchair, and ignored and no one would help her. She had severe Ethos Danlos syndrome. The homeless shelter wanted people to walk a mile to go where they served food, she couldn't do it and had disabilities that made rolling her manual wheelchair that far impossible. She sat on the streets in her wheelchair for hours, and told me about it. She was able to find some shared housing later, but I always wondered what happened to her. She disappeared and sometimes I fear the worse. If she still reads this blog, please write me, so I know how you are doing.

I heard about people calling APS on demented parents who were hoarders, and who had become homeless or who were on the verge of eviction and nothing was done. They told them the parents had the "right" to live this way. Some of these parents were abusive and they feared them showing up on their doorstep. Some of these parents were even offered trailers or were signed up for housing by their adult children which the senile or abusive parent refused.  They were given every excuse under the sun why they couldn't help the parent. An elderly person in severe mental and physical health was left to fend for themselves in the streets.

Years ago I used to write to another homeless woman. I believe she is schizophrenic and she has serious problems. She definitely was an ACON and abuse victim though in her case she may have some personality disorder problems as a result. I don't talk to her anymore I sent her a box of food once and few clothing items, and a little money, I think it was 10 dollars, it was all I could spare. She has a YouTube channel and rants and raves in the streets, screaming about perps and thinking everyone who wears red is out to get her. I have thought why won't anyone help this person and get her some mental health care. She has detractors all over the internet who make fun of her and call her a scammer. Some of her detractors yell at her to get a job, she is far too ill to maintain any employment. She needs to be in a group home or something. Some time ago, I was curious and wondered what happened to her. Years and years later, there she remained, doing her channel, and screaming in the streets and still homeless. 

 She does get money from people from her Youtube channel. She's been out on the streets for YEARS. Nothing is done, and she's been in police stations and homeless shelters, but she's left to rot in the streets.  If you want to see the utter and complete failure of the social work system there you go. I wrote some people on youtube channels who were talking about her, and I said "Would it help to contact anyone, at least show them the channel to get her help?" They said they had contacted agencies, and other help for her, but nothing ever was done. 

I once called some social workers on behalf of this newly disabled guy who got evicted from my apartment, to help save some of his stuff. They told me, "We don't do that!". That guy lost everything and ended up leaving town. I think a friend helped him.

There are cases of online Lipedema friends I had who went through absolute hell. Some are deceased. They were denied medical care, or too far from it, or couldn't get mobility devices. One ended up in abusive housing situation and was trying to escape. There seemed to be no outside help for her at all. Stage 4 Lipedema brought many bad things to people. And often fat bigotry influenced the lack of help. I had a spouse to rescue me from the worse, others did not. Some of these people I would try to help with advice but they hit dead end after dead end. 

 Then you hear about some of these cities that get millions of dollars to help the homeless. Some of them buy a few tents or maybe a few better cities get some tiny-homes set up in a complex, but most of the time the problem grows worse, and there's no help for the homeless out there. Every American who is honest about it knows homelessness especially in bigger cities is skyrocketing.

 I follow this man named Kevin Dahlgren on X, he is a homeless advocate. We don't agree politically on some things, but he definitely exposes some of the problems in the homeless world. How the homeless are ignored and many social workers and organizations are saying they are "doing something" but you never see anything change. 

In another post he wrote about how one city's homeless advocates were all taking an international trip to Vienna. Wouldn't that pay for some housing for a few homeless people? If you look up the number of grants and millions handed these organizations over time you get the feeling, most of the money is going to 6 figure salaries, endless seminars, and not to any of the poor.  He warns about the homeless industrial complex, and I think he's right about that. Tons of money is being poured into it, but no real changes or help is happening.

I don't agree with him where he seems to think most of the homeless are addicts, maybe they are in Portland, but it's easy to become homeless now, all it takes is one job lay-off or negative event. I wrote and told him direct, not all the homeless are drug addicts though SOME of them are. The economy is crashing in America.

I won't go into these details again, but when I wrote about the abused kids shown on Youtube, there was social services failure written all over those cases. Some kids were already in the system and sent home to live with abusers. 

A lot of things aren't working now. People are 'weeded" out, the paperwork is hard and convoluted. Even people with college degrees have a hard time with the paperwork and documentation needed for many of the agencies. There's many programs getting cut, and as the numbers of people who need help skyrocket, what's going to happen? I think we are already seeing evidence of overwhelmed programs.

 Food pantries are handing out far less foods, that started happening some time ago. There's one food truck we used to use years ago that used to hand out at least 5-6 times as much as a person can get now. 
People may discover that programs they thought they can depend on are no longer there. Sadly the Republican party often makes cuts to anything that helps the poor but then the Democratic party got more focused on identity politics, and other matters and abandoned the poor and working class long ago.
Many social workers do lean left, but I have noticed they are on the identity politics side of the equation more often than not. Maybe that is affecting programs and making them less effective, kind of in a "some animals are more equal than others" scenario, where certain populations are helped more than others. I don't know but it's one thing I wonder about. People should be able to get equal help and really ask where is all the money going as poverty gets worse and you see people going without help.

Where are the disability advocates when it comes to the increased poverty among poor disabled people? I was part of one group where I don't go to meetings anymore because they kept censoring my speech about Covid and worries about where things were going. Something has changed and not for the better. The poor and working class became invisible even as their numbers increased.

                                     some of this stuff is happening overseas too, their social safety nets are fraying

I looked up a mutual aid society to see if one existed in my town. There wasn't one.  If I was a charismatic sort of person who had good social skills, maybe I'd start one but I don't have the health. Sometimes I think I am being too idealistic, in trying to find a working-class church that helps each other like I had back in my old rural town. That place may not exist around here. Hopefully some resourceful people can share resources, and combine households, we almost did with this one friend but some other factors have delayed this.

Sometimes I wonder why there isn't a movement for poorer people to join forces, and households to survive, or cook each other dinner-like a local dinner club where food could be shared, or more mutual sharing. Has our social system broken down that much? When I worked and lived in some ghetto areas, I noticed in many African American communities, that some of this happened, families took care of each other moving in their uncle or cousins and more. Some ladies in the neighborhood would make "plates" in Styrofoam and share food with neighbors. Sometimes it was free and sometimes they charged a small price that was very fair. There was still community and a sense of helping each other. I saw that in the church in my old small town in my 30s. We have lost that in America. Everyone lives too far away, as I have written about in other articles, many of us have no roots, we have no families. Everything has gotten too impersonal. We need some of this back. 

Some may tell me here, don't blame the social workers, they are overworked and overstressed, yes they have a point, but something has gone wrong with the social services system. There's a problem when the answer to most people is always no or you hear about some of these programs getting millions of dollars and you see no effective change or outcome from that money. Some of us are trying to deal with the fact that there's no one that is coming to save us and plan accordingly. I wish life wasn't like this. They have destroyed us economically and now are busy removing all the safety nets. What is going to become of everyone. Some fortunate people have loving families, I don't. I have a few good friends. Society has been broken apart. Desperate people are easier to control and conquer. That is what the 1 percent wants. Nowadays I think there is more of appearance of giving help instead of real help in many cases. Some serious changes are needed.