Richard Simmons Weirdness

Richard Simmons is not missing

Google "Richard Simmons is missing", there's different articles on this.

Where's Richard Simmons?

I think he is ill, and it's not being discussed. I think it is sad, they interviewed this man while he was
obviously having severe mental or other problems.  The "going bonkers" video was even worse.  He seems to collect himself after the early part of this interview but he barely makes sense at the start.

It seems like he has oncoming dementia or some other problem. His pressure to diet and retain this extroverted persona to make a living probably took it's toll as he aged. His dry-eyed crying over the huge number of obese annoyed me. "CICO" has failed Richard Simmons!

After these interviews two years ago, he vanished from public view....

He may be going down Brittany Spear's path with outraged handlers trying to reign him in. In the "Where's Richard Simmons article above, his history is a very strange one:

"Friends say that family history has always weighed on Simmons. “He sometimes will slip into the persona of a 5-year-old child,” says one pal who claims to have seen this within the past few years. “He’ll play with dolls, and call you daddy. It’s ‘daddy this’ and ‘daddy that.’ ”

That's scary.

Richard Simmons Goes Bonkers

Mainstream

Did My Mother Send A Spy?

Did my mother send a spy?

Is an ACON paranoid to ask this question? Lest you think I am paranoid, no one is following me. I'm not hiding out.  I'm not finding hidden meaning in licenses plates like one schizophrenic person I know of started to do or counting how many red cars showed up today. I went to Subway today with a 6 inch 3 dollar sub coupon and made my husband a medical appointment.  Being non-housebound today, I  bought some antifreeze from the Dollar store which my husband put in the car. I made chicken for dinner and did my medical duties and washed a few dishes and laid down like I do every afternoon. We have to get the car fixed later in the week with a radiator pipe to be replaced. Life is going down it's usual day to day road.

However something is niggling at me. Something isn't right with this whole picture....with this "friend".

Some of these narcissists are that toxic. Given I had  some contact with some flying monkeys it like kind of an extreme step.  What is there to "find" out? It could have been to just mess with my mind. Can any of you imagine that? Since this friend wanted to go so "deep" with me, it bothers me.

My mother showed up in June where I closed the door on her and this "friend" showed up in August and met me via health channels online.

At one point the would be catfisher, fake "friend", told me that a close friend of her mother knew a friend of my mother.  She told me this friend had delivered a box of jewelry to the long time friend of my mother. Did she slip up? Was this to test me? 

By this point the "friend" had told me she was a fellow ACON and had come out of an abusive family. I had opened up about my past too, she knew of this blog and more. If my mother is reading this blog what more does she need to know?

The new "catfisher" "friend" claimed her mother's friend knew and took a gift or delivery to is a friend my mother has had for 50 years since the 1960s. She was the next door neighbor who lived the second house over in an old neighborhood my family lived in from 1968-1976. Even after we moved my family would visit theirs every couple of months. When we moved out of state, even further, contact was kept and they would come on week long visits. They went to my sister's wedding but didn't come to mine.

This was a family friend that both my sister and mother are friends with to this day. My sister and her family visited her as late as 2010.  My mother has seen her more recently even though she lives 5-600 miles away. I know they all had contact right to when I went NC and they are all still Facebook friends. This is the old family friend where her daughter who is a wealthy accountant named her daughter after my GC N sister. When I last saw this family friend and old neighbor in 2001, she is the one who told me my mother was disgusted by my weight and I embarrassed her.

 I almost dropped the phone when this "friend" laid that bomb. This is a friend I met online, they came to ME first. This is a connection I was not happy about. I didn't say much at the time, in fact I acted like I didn't care and it was no big deal but inside I got a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. This happened after the phone comments.   But by then the funny business with the "destroyed phone",  computer troubles, and extreme medical stories--with one of the most mild ones being"My lips are too swollen" to talk", were getting to me.  

My trust of people has become very low. I guess you can understand why. It's sad outcome of all this. I'll keep all friends I presently have but I definitely am going to be very careful who I let into my life next. If the fake "friend" made "reports" to my mother, I guess she got an earful, that's all I can say about that. Have fun with it, I guess. My mother knows her own evil deeds, she doesn't need me filling her in on them. Her lies and secrecy have bought her a disgusted daughter who has cut her out of her life.  I live a boring life, there isn't much dirt to dig up except the horror stories of abusers and crazy people surrounding me and I've been busy cleaning out the stall of all the piles of manure.

The Narcissist is a Snoop, a Spy, Busybody and Gossip

My Real

Hey I know some real ACONs via this blog, Thank God for you all. I'm tired of fake people.

One thing I thought about is the fake people always put pressure on me to never be "real". They would instruct me to "hide emotions" and it was like I was supposed to "grey rock" the entire world, but it got boring and lonely. One thing about the whole grey rocking thing, I did the whole low contact thing for almost 20 years and it wasn't worth it. Be careful with that advice. Do what you have to but it takes chips out of your soul. They were able to mess me up while I sat there and smiling in the narcissistic overstuffed redecorated living rooms. I hate growing older, because the pressure to "conform" has worsened. I'm supposed to be some always polite woman who never rocks the boat, and who says and does the same thing as everyone else.  All it succeeded in doing was silencing me for too many years.

My husband yesterday had a frenemy ream out his zine. This guy said it looks like its from 1985! The guy even ripped my cartoons to shreds which were on the cover and back. These were drawn in a far different style then I do now but I thought the drawings were good even being done some years ago.  He wrote my husband saying they looked like they were "drawn" like a ninth grade hack doodling on a notebook! This guy thinks he's some kind of expert. I and my husband would smile while visiting his apartment that was so moldy stagalamites grew in the corners and he played his head banging thrash punk music. I thought his punk music sucked, it was mere noise with lyrics you could not hear.  Out of politeness we kept our mouths shut FOR YEARS.

Now I'm wondering why we kept our mouths shut? Niceness politeness, not getting a high from hurting others, who seem to get endless thrills from it? I think about the passive aggressives who always say things like, "I will always be there for you" and then they won't even respond the first time there is a disagreement and they do the freeze-outs and backstabbing. Or how about the project friends where I'm supposed to jump through endless hoops to please them and be "acceptable"? I think about some guy like my husbands fake friend, acting like he is supportive of his artistic ventures but when push comes to shove, he's ready to insult and rip his zine to shreds. He never was even asked for a critique.

I had this thing get started in my mind where I thought, "I need to criticize people back". I know it sounds weird that this never occurred to me but it is something I tried out. A few times I did it, I noticed it shut up some people right away, but I did not enjoy it. I hated it. Why do they enjoy it so much? It gave me a creepy feeling like I was being a "bitch".  That was conviction. Don't become like THEM. I care about what God wants and don't want to follow the same evil road.

Does that sound odd to you all? I must be some crazy idealistic person who wants to share ideas and good times with people without everything being a constant measuring campaign as to their acceptability and everything being a constant contest. Do I have to become a "bitch" too, to not be made into the constant worm and "victim"? I'm not interested in becoming a cold hard "bitch". These are spiritual questions that have plagued me.  It seems that many interpret my "realness" as weakness to be exploited. 

One thing I realized about myself is I am not weak, these people think I am weak because I do not operate the way they do in secretiveness and subterfuge. My mother thinks I am the weakest person the planet. Other fake projects and others considered me weak just for having emotions and not wearing the masks they wanted me to wear. When people are real, wicked people do see them as "weak" for daring to be themselves because they love the masks. They really do. 

This is something creepy I never have discussed before on this blog, but there were a few times, when I would "fight" back against my mother especially as a teen and 20 something and basically tell her off from here to there, I would criticize her back. I would lose my temper and start screaming back. The creepy thing during these rare moments was she would start being nice to me. It wouldn't last long but it would change her reactions to me. I remember saying to my husband "Why was she nicer at these times?" Sure she probably was setting up for revenge or backing away. Some people only respect cruelty. These memories plague me.

Our society is changing in a way where it is telling people not to be real. We are told to grey rock it socially. All the fake people constantly lectured me to reign myself in. Hide those emotions, Hide your "weakness". Everything was about winning and losing. A fake sociopathic, narcissistic society is being built, it is worsening. Realness is being hated. Emotions are being cancelled out. There's a line of social niceties but then also a line where connection between human beings is being severed and that line is being crossed. Being "real" is not allowed. Having emotions is not allowed.

One thing I have noticed about people is they exploit perceived weaknesses. My family does it. All of life is a constant battle between the winners and losers, even among themselves. Verbally I have the talent to cut someone to shreds, but it's not something I enjoy or want to do. They love it. I don't want to spend my life, getting the back stabbing knives out and seeing who I can "win" over. I wonder why so many people love to spend their life criticizing. My husband's fake friend definitely seemed gleeful and pompous in his critique email. Some seem only to be happy while kicking others down. Why does it make them happy? I do not know. Why was it so important for him to trash my husband? He added in music critiques too that were never ending and even nit-picked him on length of songs.

You start thinking "Why is nothing ever good enough?"  These type of people will kill your spirit. These are the kind of people that make you feel afraid to leave the house or ever show any part of yourself ever again. Yeah, that is what my mind thinks. And sure these give us all moments of doubt. I told him last night, "We have to be ourselves, especially if we consider ourselves real artists or with something to say to the world" "We have to be real, even if none of them are".

Hipsters Drive Me Crazy Too

  The 10 Commandments Of Hipsterdom (How To Succeed In Your Friendly Neighborhood 
Subculture)

 It looks like the Ramen Noodle Nation blogger has run into some of the same annoying hipsters I have.  This reminds me of a joke I have with husband where I say they get some humans from the warehouse and put them on the street corners, because they all dress, look, talk the same. They all follow the same brain dead trends and listen to the same bad music. Demographics by design!

Hipsters have destroyed the art world and made restaurants more expensive as they all claim they got "local" ingredients while charging you 10 dollars for a turkey sandwich. Hey pretentious hipsters have been around since the 50s in differing forms, even in the 1990s, the monied "creative class" got on my nerves.

Today's beatniks with their wealth and conformist opinions make me want to throw up. Narcissism has definitely impacted the hipster world which is all about being seen, and selling yourself with selfies and stylized hair and glasses to boot.

 Being fat keeps you automatically out of the hipster world unless you got cash for 400 dollar Baby Doll dresses, cat eye glasses, leather boots and a healthy mid-sized body.

  "5. Always stay clinically detached from the action. Parse your emotions. Don't admit to having any feelings, especially for others. That's a waste of your time. (For further reference, study Invasion Of The Bodysnatchers -- either the original or the remake will do fine.) Caring deeply about something isn't to your advantage...because somebody else might get the upper hand on you. You're an aloof, cool and nonchalant member of the Hipster Narcissist Cartel. Your job goes on 24 hours a day, so act the part."

"Idiocracy" Writer Says The Movie Has Come True

 America is getting more dumbed down by the minute. Stupidity and fakeness ruling the land. This country has become a laughing stock for the entire world. I wish I lived in a more sane place. If you live somewhere else be grateful. Yeah I know that doesn't sound patriotic. The fact Trump is seen as a viable presidential candidate even if he is part of the theatre show, means the dying brain cells are an epidemic.

Salad 2

Enjoyed this salad the other day. I couldn't barely afford it, it was from a local Greek diner but it was worth it in taste! It was great and had grilled chicken breast, blue cheese, a boiled egg, a little bit of bacon, tomato, raisins, chopped pecans and some other vegetables. There's another restaurant where I've had their salad that includes tomatoes, avocado, green onions, chicken, some cheese, green and red peppers and grilled corn that is really good. I try to make salads at home too. Who Loves Salad? I do