Goodbye NAAFA and the rest: Why I left Size Acceptance

Here is my old 2001 article: I left size acceptance many years ago, circa 2000-2001.

Here is updated version for this blog. Over the years, I did get response to my articles with many people in agreement, many repeated my concerns, and told me they were ignored as well. I have noted the size acceptance movement in examining its websites, publications, organizations and spokespeople has declined from late 1990s, honestly I am not surprised.

While some of size acceptance's ideals are sound, which include ending discrimination against fat people and advocating for their rights, the foundations are crumbling. I have noticed while things hit more of a peak in the late 90s, where one saw NAAFA and other size acceptance organizations in the news everywhere, nowadays things seem to have shrunk. Americans have gotten even fatter and corpulence is becoming even more reviled. The Size Acceptance movement as it now and then stands has failed.

Today's primere size acceptance organizations are NAAFA [National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance] and the far lesser known ISAA International Size Acceptance Association. NAAFA as of the late 90s had thousands of members {4,000}, I do not know its present numbers. ISAA being a much less known group, one can only estimate the membership. These groups match in their basic philosophies. There are size acceptance groups with activism as the main endeavor, but many have cropped up focusing on the social end of things, dances, parties, for the overweight people and their "admirer's with Heavenly Bodies in Boston, and even nightclubs such as Club Bounce in California. Here is a list of these groups. Many of these groups sprouted up from the NAAFA fountainhead, though their first priority is social functions rather the activism. When I speak of Size Accceptance in this article, it does encompass some of these groups but focuses mostly on the activism part, and what is being sold by top 'spokesmen" and "women" for size acceptance.

The first reason Size Acceptance has not grown is it promotes fat rather then just dealing with it as a physical characteristic. Sometime around 1980, NAAFA changed its name from National Association to Aid Fat Americans, to National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance. This was also a philosophical stand not just a linguistical one.

Fat is great according to the size acceptance minions and while the ideals of fat people deserving right and proper treatment are commendable, this belief flies in the face of scientific logic. The demand for pasted on smiles and glorying in my hugely rotund body, basically failed as I gasped for air merely climbing some stairs.

The big names in size acceptance try to sell some nice sounding ideas such as "Health at Any Size" [does that apply to 600lbs too?] and brush all the health problems that come about from obesity whether the obesity itself is a sympton or not, right under the proverbial carpet. I still remember the day many years ago, where I challenged a certain notable in size acceptance circles, whose more extroverted personality gained her the attention in the national media for a short time, to go visit a bariatric nursing home, and to go see where "fat" could take people.

I get that people who have never exited the mid-sized world where normal living has never ceased may just "not get it" but ignoring the experiences of thousands you proport to represent is willfully neglectful.

Anyone who surpasses the 400lb mark soon learns that bikini parties with the "Padded Lilies" [an actual Size acceptance group that is compromised of mid-sized women who do synchronized swimming, conventions, and fat positive rhetoric soon rings hollow next to their scooter, sleep apnea machine, shortness of breathe and bottles of expensive prescriptions. It is good to be healthy, fit and happy, but where does denial of reality come into the size acceptance presentation on size? Marilyn Wann in her book "Fatso?!" points out at 250lbs how she climbs mountains, and dances for hours without exhaustion. As late as 1995, I would walk 2-3 miles for "fun" myself. But sadly this negates experiences of heavier people who find walking across a parking lot, an exhausting challenge. Fat people can indeed be healthier and in better shape via exercise and better food, but some reality checks are in order.

The SA publications all showed fat women frolicking in swimming pools and doing aerobics. While I liked much of what these publications had to offer, it is sad so many have gone defunct. While these activities are good for the more midsized person with better health, physical realities come crashing through for those who suffer with obesity in it's most severe forms. Those who find their stamina crumbling usually are ironically told to exercise more but not lose any weight. When the first health crises crop up, many did leave size acceptance for the university diet clinics or for weight surgery. I found myself thinking that size acceptance as presented in this country was just the flipside of the coin of the failed diet industry, all desiring to profit off everyone where very little truth was spoken. Years ago before I departed, I talked about this stuff, but the brick walls of refusing to face reality never budged. I doubt, that size activist I mentioned above ever went to go visit that nursing home.

Denying the fact that obesity is a disease or even a disabling condition, size acceptance has put its head in the sand and closed the door long ago on those who were not fat, "fit and healthy". Tracy a past person with PCOS as well, I knew on a size acceptance board had this to say

"I have in the past, held the concept of "size acceptance" dear to my
heart, but at this stage and with my health in the crisis that it is, I cannot
with a clear conscience, advocate or agree with any movement that does not
address the reality of the negative health consequences of severe
obesity."

No size acceptance organizations supports a cure for obesity. None that I know of have called for there to be real medical studies {the ones on supersized people my size are nearly non-existent} or for any real help to be developed. The focus even in the 90s, as I viewed it was almost all social stuff, with only a few working indepth on the "heavier" matters. After all its all about "acceptance" rather then "aiding". The people speaking for the fat are as bad as those who wish to bilk them of their wallets for liquid diets. Imagine a kidney disease foundation telling those with kidney disease they must accept their condition. Fat people are told this is "your lot in life you must accept it". This leaves the fat person out in the cold in general between fad diet charlatans and size acceptance advocates who tell them their only other option is to make the best of it!

Logic was a sold out proposition, as the elephant in the room was ignored, that elephant being, that being "fat" for most fat people is not their perferred way of being. The secret that 99% of people hate being fat, and it wasn't about the discrimination always, but the plain fact for many it hurts, and makes everything harder to do even limiting activities for the mid-sized crowd. As one NAAFA spokesperson said

"It is my position and that of many in the movement that we need to focus on
what we can do to make fat people healthy--not make fat people thin. Right now I
believe that working toward making fat people healthy is a winnable battle--I do
not believe making fat people thin is."

What better position to remain a non-threat to the diet industry complex? But I digress.

This shows that acceptance and promotion of fat was and has been one of the most prevailing goals of size acceptance. Obesity is seen like something like tallness, a normal part of person's makeup. I wonder how a 600lb person who can barely walk is supposed to take this information?

Out of fear and justified loathing of the diet industry, size acceptance took a wholly reactionary position, shoving it's head in the sand. Repeating mantras of "Fat People are healthy" even amid oxygen and wheelchair dependent people, very few are buying into the lie.

The problem is the cost of demanding equal rights for fat people should not have as its price out and out lies and denial. Most Americans know at least one friend or relative who has suffered the out and out social ramifications as well as the physical results of being obese. The public is privy now to the sufferings of the super-obese on the Discovery network. Many fat people outside of the SA network, see it as a group of extremists who have "give up"!

Science is discovering more facts on fat people's behalf that many diseases and conditions have obesity as a sympton including PCOS, Syndrome X, Cushings, side effects of prescription drugs etc. There are also those who do have eating disorders or other conditions, then there are the facets of modern life itself [which I'll be talking about more later]. With all the writing about the futility of diet, which has some truth to it, where is the writing or academics willing to face honestly the complexities of obesity? What I noticed is that the size acceptance community walled itself off from anyone will to do this. NAAFA and groups like it have nothing to offer those who face the results of severe obesity, disabled or not, because they never want to threaten their position of ever admitting fat can be the result of a disease process.

Size acceptance in the 90s, and I doubt this has changed much, had a dark side that was unknown to the public. Being more conservative in my own lifestyle choices, that alone, was reason to depart the world of NAAFA conventions and BBW social gatherings. Some leaders are involved in the selling of plus size erotica and photos. Some "size acceptance" websites, you will find obese women selling videos and nude photographs of themselves to the proverbial "FA" [or fat admirer]. Odd that objectification of fat women, has been one of the results of the "acceptance message."

Many of the so called fat advocacy organizations and social groups then center themselves on "pleasing" the FA. The integrity has been lost by that alone. The FAs [known as "chubby chasers" too] do not want anyone to lose weight as they are sexually attracted to those who are obese. It is a fetish for many who look at weight as the primary factor in choosing a partner. One other debauched world is the one of "feeders" who seek to make their significant partner fatter and "feedees" who want to be fatter. I encountered one woman years ago who had to have serious psychological problems whose life goal was to be 600lbs. Years ago, I told her she was basically inviting the Grim Reaper over for a party, those warnings were not listened to as far as I know.

Size acceptance is a failure, but then the premise of accepting what for most is basically a health issue, that causes uncomfortableness on the low end, and serious health issues on the high end, basically has been a cop out all along. Truth about obesity has been shoved under the carpet and overweight people have remained being handed the same cup of indignity, the diet profit makers have served. Perhaps it is an impossible dream, to think of a group that truly looked out for overweight people and stood up for true help instead of serving as a conduit for all those who want to exploit the fat in different ways.

The Size Acceptance Ideologue's List of Rules

I know some here probably think I give size acceptance too hard of a time. I do not regret what I have written. I wish it had truly been a movement and gathering place for obese people for support and help, in my opinion if it had truly been a movement for the fat, instead of just using the fat to advance social programming agendas, all tied to the liberal side of the right/left paradigms [ever wonder why just about every size activist is an extreme liberal?], there would be real research to help obese people, and demands against all the garbage that isn't working. As I have said size acceptance has become the enabler to the abusive fat hating society. The more they tell us fat people are responsible and at fault, for their own conditions and are fat due to failed diets, will power and more, the more size acceptance in their praise and promotion of life altering adipose tissue serves more as the enablers to all the lies. Where does that get anyone? Choose your side....[well I said forget it!] Between the weight loss gurus, who offer nothing that really works, to the sociopath agitators like the Bigger Fatter Blog guy who posts nasty pictures to the extreme hyper fat activists, fat people do not have much to go on anymore. Well I'm sick of all their lies!

Here is a list of the size acceptance rules out there. Yes I know there are some exceptions, and admit speaking in generalities. Having broken many of these, I have found myself banned at many a size acceptance website. Even trying to get traffic up here, is difficult, because with the exception of a few blogs, censorship is heavy in the size acceptance world. This blog gets removed fast!

1.Never admit any pain when it comes to obesity.

Hey we know this is NOT this is not allowed. As I have shared on this blog, I am even having comments ERASED off size acceptance blogs. Sharing nitty gritty "hard" stuff about being fat especially among mid-sized and healthy brethern is not permitted. When it comes to the ultra-fat, nursing homes, loss of mobility and other problems are to be rapidly hidden behind closed doors.

2. You must love your fat no matter what it does to you. You must tell the world celebrate fat.

Obviously I am failing at that one. I won't tell any of you celebrate fat and by the way, I hate the diets and all the nonsense too, but telling people to love their fat is like telling an amputee victim to love their stump or a deaf person to love their non-working ears. To me, its a cop out, running from the diet mongers does not translate to lying to the world and saying being over 500lbs is great! Staying alive to me comes before groveling for anyone's acceptance.

3. You must be an extreme liberal. [hey I have noticed that there doesn't seem to be many Fox news watchers and people against Obama in the size acceptance camp. By the way I can't stand Fox news and am not a Republican either myself. There are also "progressives" who are more independent minded, of course. Why are size acceptance circles overall far more liberal and the kind of liberals who still love Obama even though he has continued all of Bush's wars and policies? I think this probably is because those against size discrimination and want to codify it, still believe the government can end size discrimination via "rule of law". I find that rather dubious, your boss may know if he calls you "fatty" at work, in certain areas you probably can sue him, but if you apply for a job, and aren't hired because you are fat, try proving it! More government power and intervention with fat people means fat camps one day, and having your BMI tracked, so wake up people!

4. You must defend everything fat related, even the woman that wants to be the fattest woman in the world and yes I have seen that done on a variety of size acceptance blogs.

5. Do not question the status quo. No one in size acceptance is questioning the inner reasons why people are growing fatter and why the obesity epidemic is out of control refusing to see the profit that is attached. Things like GMO and adulterated food remain off the radar as well as the pool of toxins we are all swimming in. Very few are questioning the corporate and other interests that are forwarding the obesity epidemic.

6. BODIES come before mind, souls, etc. I have noticed this in size acceptance for years, it is a growing trend in this world, as a whole, a shallowness, a denial of character where the fat activists become just as looks obsessed as their thin sisters. Otherwise why are the academics promoting nonsense such as "fat identity"? My whole life has been trying to get the morally deficient to see beyond the fat.

See: "Thought Crime and Size Acceptance, Ideologues and The Big Brush-Off"

A Revealing Conversation On Size Acceptance and Health

I and a fellow endocrine sufferer, who I appreciate very much, shares her common experiences with hormonal health challenges and size acceptance. We agree on much. [My questions in blue] Read on:

1. Describe your experience with size acceptance, what did you find positive about it, what did you find negative?

I originally joined the size acceptance movement in 1996. After purchasing my first personal computer and joining the citizens of the internet from home, I stumbled across the Dimensions Magazine website that broadcast the statement: Where Big is Beautiful. The print magazine articles were written by men and women who took pride in themselves as a whole person. This was a new discovery for me, having been a fat teenager and dealing with discrimination, bullies, and general bias because of my size.

I spent a few years mostly reading and studying materials from the NAAFA and Dimensions Magazine, and researching the phenomenon that is fat acceptance.

Over time, I began to learn that for me, the journey to "Size Acceptance" is really a journey of "Self Acceptance" rather than coming to terms with being just fat. As a person, I learned from the SA movement that I have a right to enjoy life just as I am. Since that time, I've even been able to help friends of all sizes come to terms with their own bodies. It's been an interesting journey. When I tell women with low self esteem that I love my body and who I am-- they begin to wonder how "I" could love myself, when they see me as socially unacceptable!

Things I learned from SA:
Doctors usually believe you're fat because you're lazy. Little research and questioning is done for fat people. Diet and exercise are the common prescriptions. Many fat people then turn to alternative medicine or "acceptance" of themselves and then fail to get help! Fat and sexuality are not mutually exclusive. Many people can and so see through the fog of the myth that fat people are somehow second-rate.

My opinions matter, no matter how fat I am! The anonymity of the SA movement online has helped many fat people find their confidence and ability to speak in regards to various issues. I think this has helped the most in fat people learning to advocate for themselves. They know they're not alone, and can voice their opinions.

Society still has yet to accept fat people as the norm in America. Theater seats are uncomfortable, airplane seats and being asked to purchase two seats is the norm. Bathroom stalls are too small. Stairs are too steep. Booths at restaurants are made with fixed tables. Hospital gowns for fat patients are hard to find (and you're made to feel like a freak if you ask for a larger gown at times). Chairs at airports and doctor's office have arms that can cause physical harm to a fat person.

There's a bias in America that fat people are nonsexual. That's so far from the truth! We are human beings just like everyone else, and we have carnal desires, wants and needs to be loved, feel affection and physical attraction. The lies that are perpetuated by the media don't help any.

Size Acceptance has its own militant activists just like every other agenda.

I am still a member of the SA movement, but left my formal advocacy agenda in late 2008.


2. How did you come to be diagnosed with Cushings?

When visiting a new doctor one day in 2007, I was bemoaning to my doctor that for years I'd been battling a host of issues that I thought were just normal things for a fat person. After years of being told that I was fat, lazy, an over-eater and I would have to deal with my health issues -- this new doctor started to ask questions. Every answer I gave created a new question. At the end of an hour-long exam, the doctor asked me if I'd heard of Cushing's Disease. I hadn't yet, but then she explained the textbook symptoms.

The trouble from that point was that local doctors aren't trained in what to do with Cushing's patients, and you have to find an Endocrinologist that understands the disease. There are few specialists who truly understand the full body of research in regards to this endocrine disorder. I saw two local Endocrinologists who laughed me out of their offices despite my doctor's referral. Finally, after much research on the internet and talking to my doctor, I found Dr. Ted Friedman in Los Angeles. Dr. Friedman took the time to meet with me, look at my history of pictures from spanning from current days to my childhood, looked at all of my physical signs and symptoms and prescribed a very focused and intricate testing regimen. After only 46 days of tests, MRIs and discussion, it was decided that I had been living with this disease some call the "Ugly disease" since birth.

Since that time, I have had two pituitary surgeries to help establish a period of remission of all of the difficult symptoms. After each surgery I've enjoyed 6 months of improvement.

3. Do you feel support was lacking in the size acceptance community regarding your diagnosis with Cushings?

Once I shared my disorder, the problems it caused for me, and that I was pursuing a cure for my issues, things began to change for me. When I announced I was having pituitary surgery to work towards a cure, I was treated like someone who didn't know what was right for myself. Constantly people were telling me reconsider such a "drastic surgery" that they felt could leave me crippled for life. Despite all my assurances that I looked at every angle, I received countless phone calls, emails and visits from people who insisted I was making a wrong choice. When I needed support the most from my friends, a dichotomy arose -- that of having to deal with friends who felt I was fat for life, and that of trying to cure a deadly disease.


4. Do you agree that in size acceptance there is a lack of truth about obesity being for some people a symptom of a disease process?

Many of my fat friends categorize their fat as a physical trait, and refuse to believe that obesity is a serious medical condition.

While I personally believe a rubenesque woman can be fit and fluffy, there are many fat people who have serious medical conditions that may go undiagnosed because of their attitude towards size acceptance, their fear of the doctors being emotionally cruel to them, and that there aren't any real serious medical diseases for fat people.

In many circles in the SA community, the talk of "dieting" is forbidden. The reason being that fat people need a place of solace from the people telling them that diets will solve all their problems and they refuse to diet. I can see the point in this argument, but the people that can't diet to lose weight have serious medical issues that should be addressed! I'm sure some people who say they diet really don't and they are fooling themselves, but people like me who eat only 1100 calories a day and gain weight have metabolic disorders that need serious help!

Diseases I've seen friends suffer with from obesity related issues:

Lypo/Lymphadema
High Blood Pressure
Heart Attacks
Deep Vein Thrombosis
Diabetes
Osteoarthritis
Osteopenia
PCOS
Cushing's Disease
Hypothyroidism
Growth Hormone Deficiency

The website bigfatfacts states: Weight is not a barometer of wellness. More Americans die every year from weighing too little than from weighing too much. An estimated 25,000 people die from obesity. Moderately overweight people live longer than those at normal weight. (Flegal, et. al.) (See reference notes at bottom of report)

Weight is not a barometer of wellness! So a fat person can have normal blood pressure, activity level, blood sugar, and labwork. But notice here it says moderately overweight people live longer. Most of my friends in size acceptance are overweight into the hundreds of pounds. Dear friends of mine are over 400 pounds, and one is over 500. Somewhere fat does become a barometer for wellness!



5. Where do you think the size acceptance movement is headed today? Do you think it has a future?

Size Acceptance is splintering into various new groups and is no longer a united front. Some advocacy groups want fat to be declared a disability, yet some don't. If it's a disability, then is it not healthy then? Other groups are insisting that super-sized people shouldn't be part of mainstream size acceptance as they are the "freaks" of the movement.

These kinds of separate attitudes don't do any fat person any good, and it's a shame to see that happening. I wish to think that in the future, we'll find a better united front and be able to be inclusive again.

Thought Crime and Size Acceptance, Ideologues and The Big Brush-Off

I went to read this article, I got it from the Big Liberty blog...and it's from another blog...called Dead of Winter...

But here is:

"The Truth Is Radical"

I will share two of the posts, but there are more in the comments:

Blogger to me:

This was aimed at the general population, not at every single possible instance there is. I beg to differ that some people are too fat for fat acceptance or that you cannot be healthy at every size (depending on your definition of health.) Indeed, that was my point-I used to think this way until I was radicalized.

Even if fat did cause or exacerbated health problems, we still cannot be made permanently thin in a safe way and doctors should stop prescribing weight loss as the cure.

It may not be radical to you to be told to accept what is before you, and it really isn’t, another point I made in my post.It’s radical to ask to be treated with basic respect. However, it’s radical in our culture of fat hate to say, “I’m fat, get used to it” and stop making concessions that grant fat phobics their arguments. We’re under pressure to make the larger fat phobic culture feel good instead of challenging them with the best we have and our message gets watered down in the process.

Society has a toxic potion to sell at both ends of the spectrum? Sorry, but I find the idea of society promoting fat to any degree laughable.

Oh, and have Americans really gotten fatter? Or is that just the BMI talking? Most people that get labeled “fat” are either only slightly fat or not visibly fat at all. We wouldn’t have as many fat people as we do if the BMI charts did not change to include more people in the fat category.

No, we don’t support a cure for obesity because…we’re fat acceptance. Pretty straightforward really.

My post still stands. You are certainly welcome to comment on whatever you like here, but this is not the place to win converts away from fat acceptance and to hash out your issues with it.

What I Wrote in Response: [well unless it gets taken down]

Again I get the brush off, as if there is only one of me in this country. I know in the size acceptance world that super-fat people are the lowest of the totem pole especially if they are of lower financial means which most are being disabled, and because they do not protray the image that size acceptance wants. I know from friends and even my own doctors there are people who are bedbound, wheelchair bound and even in nursing homes. I can still walk, my life is limited more by the breathing problems-COPD, but I can walk far further then I could acouple years ago. I can still get out and live a bit when the weather is good. I know even on the spectrum, there are people suffering far worse then me.

A person my size yes can stand against fat discrimination and more, and have dignity, but this idea that fat should stand alone and untouched, what if they found a cure? You know that one worked? I am not saying everyone has to be a skinny minny, I am talking about those with severe obesity…it’s like telling a kidney patient, “oh, you do not accept the fact your kidney’s have failed no more research and help for you, go be proud of needing dialysis everyday. Give me a break!

So what has your “radicalization” done but give out the usual status quo? If you read my blog, you will see I am anything BUT an apologist for the rotten diet industry, but no instead of listening you tell me, “Oh this doesn’t apply to you”. Well why wouldn’t it, I’m fat too. Hey call it “the midsized and still healthy fat acceptance movement”, then we can call it a day.

Ok the dieting and WLS is failing most, we cannot be made thin “pernamently” in a thin way, but does this mean saying Ok, now we embrace the health problems for those on the higher end of the spectrum? Why not demand some more answers and better ones that work?

Hey I know in this life, there is a 99.95 chance that I will die fat. So don’t try and claim I expect to wake up lithe tommorow. Maybe I’ll be thinner, or maybe I’ll be bigger from the heart failure, putting on even more fluid, whatever but don’t tell me that I am supposed to “accept” what is a serious health problem and tell the world, Ok now because you have abused us, we will turn the other way and say, “We love our fat!” no matter WHAT it does to us. It is operating only in response to them!. Forget them. I want help, and by the way I used to weight near 700lbs and probably would have been dead 15 years ago, it wasn’t like the size acceptance world was any help then too. Your brush off of me and my issues is nothing new.

I have the self respect to say, “Look you are wrong”. An overabundance of adipose tissue can destroy lives, taking the moral imperatives out of it all. Basically you want me to ignore my own reality, and here you basically are telling me to go away. If anything I worry about midsized women because I was smaller one until my late 20s. So think that one out. .

I don’t care what the fat phobic culture thinks or doesn’t think, I want to stay alive, and if I die young from being fat, maybe my nephews do not have to. Maybe they will be able to get help without all the baggage and social engineering garbage. It’s like the two political parties, two wings of the same predatory bird, well size acceptance has become a dance partner with the diet-fat industry, no one wants a real cure or answers. I know people have gotten fatter, no doubt of it, have lived long enough to see the difference, back in the 90s people my size I never saw them, now I see them all over–the ones who can still get out.

The main post was typical boiler-plate size acceptance stuff, we are radical and standing against the fat-phobes, OK I get it, I just wanted to put my viewpoint out there.

But has anyone wondered if gearing all your positions in response to the fat haters, is the most healthy position? If anything it becomes a dance of two parties, where one makes all decisions in RESPONSE to the decisions the other makes. Sorry to say this, and some may find me unusual to state it, it is a position of WEAKNESS. It merely makes you a puppet to their strings. They scream, "We hate you fat people!", the size acceptance idealogues scream back "Forget you, We Love our Fat!"

Again I am brushed off. Supersized and fat people like me don't matter in the size acceptance world, I learned that long ago. Fat hating Sociopaths will post pictures of us to make fun of us as our bodies go crazy, and then we will have the size acceptance crew say "you do not matter". They hate us too because we represent the "hole" in their arguments and their absolute concessions.

Sex Work and Size Acceptance

One thing that is hard about the size acceptance world is if you don't adhere to politically correct extreme neo-liberal politics, you are told you don't belong. Yesterday, I got myself close to a banning on this group board for very super sized women on Facebook with ties to size acceptance for telling them what my opinions on sex work were. They asked first. I have some size acceptance contacts on Facebook but it's difficult. It's like that world wants to shove all it's people into a mold and the dominating brain dead neo-liberal politics have grown more grating to me.  The ideologues have grown worse. Those who do not conform are punished for it. Many of the neo-liberals are far more censoring of others then any book-burning Nazi could hope to be.

 I liked this place at first because these are other people who are over 400lbs, and super fat issues like clothes and health were discussed but why are they involved in such extreme liberal politics? One person agreed with me. Another woman wrote, "maybe they should try to get other skills beyond sex work", and they almost tried to rip her head off!  I have my populist side, I even kind of liked Bernie Sanders even though I didn't agree with everything he supported but these kind of people I can't get on board with.

For years I protested on this blog what I considered the raunchy disgusting side of size acceptance and exposed feeders and fat admirers

Good bye NAAFA!

Chubby Chasers Give Me the Willies

In this discussion some supersized women were discussing their various sex work which include online porn, cam work and phone sex work. One wanted to go back to phone sex work. This is one sad thing I encountered in size acceptance was the many fat women especially women in the greater sizes signing up to do this type of work. I was approached to do phone sex work by one friend I met in NAAFA, and said "No way!", and others came to me asking if I would be willing to do videos and other sex work and gave the same answer.  I would sooner die then sell my body or images of it and during some of the time when people approached me, these were some of my severely poor years. In fact one woman told me I was nuts to stay in such horrible poverty instead of giving in.

 My name became mud within this organization when they realized how conservative I was in this area of life, even prior to me becoming a Christian in 2002. They called me a PRUDE and never let me forget it. Keep in mind by the time I was attending NAAFA meetings, I was an engaged soon to be married woman. The catfisher woman who had ties to size acceptance actually told me one still remembered me and called me "that prude". I was pretty hated. I think I still am. Even this many years later. I was on the Dimensions message board as "Victoria" in the 1990s, I guess I am outing myself here, telling the lot of them they were ruining fat women's lives via their objectification of women and connections to pornography. Christian me wouldn't touch that place with a 10 foot pole today but back then having just had my massive 400lb weight gain, I was looking for other supersized people to talk to online. It looks like nothing has improved even 20 years later. Everything is still as degenerate.

So what I experienced on this board was kind of more of the same. I was referred to as a "shamer" for saying, I was philosophically and spiritually against the concept of sex work and that it was exploitation for super-fat women and economic oppression. After all why were these women running to "this work"? Because of fat discrimination, women who weigh over 400lbs, have such a difficult time in the job market, they see this as their only option. Desperation can drive people to many dark places, but why defend the system and feeling forced to do this work? Instead of fighting for more rights or "disabled" accommodation, they listen to the pied pipers who want to sell images of their super fat bodies to fetishists.

I mentioned sex trafficking to them. It's getting to be a worse problem in America. Even locally they have addressed this issue. Fat people can be sex trafficked too. "Specialty tastes" sell in some underbelly places on our planet. There are people being kidnapped. I know of a story of a superfat woman, being locked in some psychopaths walk-in closet who was abused and used. While the sex work being discussed is not open prostitution on this board, I told them, this is selling sex trafficking as a "choice". Many talked about how dealing with men who fantasized about immobile fat women was hard, and other demanded fetish aspects like feederism was twice as difficult.

They weren't happy with me when I mentioned that in the old days feminists protested the objectification of women and now they were supporting it. I hate modern day feminism, because now with all the sex positivity nonsense, they seem ready to have women sell their bodies to the highest bidders. Why are these women all so eager to be CONSUMED by men? Andrea Dworkin would be spinning in her grave. These women definitely seem to hold no issue in selling their own bodies as a commodity. After you do naked videos and pictures, what else are you doing?

One woman was careful to say "I am not condemning you" but I kept thinking "What are you doing to other fat women?" when you choose to do this work. We already move through a world that sees us as objects not to be respected. As mere bodies where because of our obesity our personhood and souls are obliterated by bigots. The term selling out is a very real one to me.  Being such a poor person myself, I understand economic desperation. Social Security checks aren't that big, and almost impossible to live on, but is this a healthy choice? To sell your soul and body to "making a living"? To allow men to exploit and use you? I saw the lowest vermin of men skulking around size acceptance venues. There are normal men of conscience who prefer bigger women, but these were sociopaths who saw women as mere objects. 

My comment "If anything, those who are healthy enough to work, should be demanding more access to better careers, and opportunities" flopped as well.

as well as stating:

 "I am philosophically and spiritually against sex work"

"Shouldn't women have more options in life rather then total exploitation. Super-fat women are in danger because of the job discrimination and more they face. It's human trafficking sold as a "Choice".

"Contact with wicked perverted men even just verbally and not physically is not healthy for anyone".

I was told that my discomfort was heard but it was not welcome there and that the women in our group who choose do sex work deserve respect and support and that if I could not give it, I needed to stay silent and walk away from the thread. The number of sex workers there was very high. This wasn't just one or two very fat over 400lb women but more then several. In fact they decided at the end of this discussion to open up a sex workers group for fat women.

I probably won't be commenting on that board anymore, it is not a good place for me. It is very sad and disappointing that the attitudes that I faced 20 years ago and protested still are so entrenched within the size acceptance world. Nothing has changed.  Marilyn Wann is a supporter of sex work. The super-fat women I met in size acceptance were busy selling themselves then, and many of the ones I have met online within size acceptance circles are all supporting this.

Frankly it has always sickened me that fat women are seen as a commodity within the size acceptance world. It is self-hatred within, that allows people to debase themselves in a society that almost seems to demand it of them. I was told to take my religion which actually remained unnamed in the context of the discussion but I suppose the word "Spiritually" gave them the tip off, and basically was told to shove it.

The Body Isn't Everything!

I see my body as a tool, it gets me across the room. It allows me to do things like pick up a paintbrush, or hold a book, or type on this computer. I feel sympathy for my body, in that it never had a chance. It lost the genetic lotto, with a father with multiple autoimmune disorders, get me thinking about my ear that went totally deaf, and my failing other one, well, I think something along the lines of "poor ears". My feelings for my own body are more akin to one's love for an old car, I hope it can keep running, and carrying me around, but it almost has stalled out completely a few times. One can consider all the work I've done for my body including fighting for my life as showing some care for it. But to love a body? To love a body would be like going outside and smooching my car. It is an odd concept.

Maybe on the spiritual level, I see things very differently, because of my particular religious beliefs, there is a difference between "flesh" and "spirit" and guess which one counts for more in my way of thinking? Real beauty comes via what is INSIDE, and this culture has changed that to be all about the SURFACE. You are more then a sassy fat woman in cute boots with nice hair, and great make up. Too many young girls especially are being taught that is everything important about them. Character, soul and spirit being shunted aside for fleeting looks, and women and men only valued for their price in the meat market.

Even here we end up in a dichotomy of those who are easy on the eyes vs. those who are not and fat is "ugly" to the prevailing culture. Why should we put first the scheme to "be physically beautiful" tied to body-love first? This is one message, I definitely get censored over in the size acceptance world. I often used to write how I hated the advanced promiscuity in the size acceptance world, the bowing to the fat admirers, and focus on the body above all else. What else would focus on one's body as their full identity lead to?

This is why as I wrote in another article on this blog, I find the idea of a "fat identity" appalling. The liberal academics can have it, but after all they lied to me during college and told me empowerment came from the would be "power-career", and hyper-feminism, all I know is I still ended up poor and figured out in my 30s, that this was a path to no-wheres-ville, and part of what lead this modern nation to social disconnection. Thankfully I was raised with more old school values, and met and married my husband without being dragged into the sex in the city life fat style and was attached by my mid 20s.

With everyone pursuing narcissistic empowerment, this is why you have things like citizens of this country, going hurrah for letting the uninsured die. And speaking of the "YOUR BODY IS EVERYTHING" message, on size acceptance blogs, I am seeing this odd word "embodiment" repeated over and over. Marilyn Wann used it in a recent comment. Many times it is used in the phrase "fat embodiment". What is this odd stuff? It almost sounds like ENTOMBMENT! Maybe that is what it really is. One's spirit can no longer soar above the body. The body is everything. You ARE your ADIPOSE CELLS in Size ACCEPTANCE!

It is something that they are oppressing the thin with too and now to see it so prevalent in size acceptance culture, it's not a good thing. There is this message of "You better love your body or else!" which has become part of the size acceptance "politics". Why don't more realize they've been taken for a ride, the fat women who are told 'love your body" and show the world what a "diva" you are, are as oppressed as thin women taught to analyze every body part for perfection but in an inverse matter. Even the self esteem politics get taken too far too. One's goodness is not rested on how good of a narcissist they can be, self-love can be taken too far!

I believe this world WANTS people to be obsessed with their bodies, so when I see so many in the size acceptance world insist that BODIES come first, it troubles me. Bodies fail, that is the nature of this world. Make it to old age, and the liver spots and severe health problems will come. People die of hideous illnesses that disfigure them. If someone has invested their life in LOVING their body first what will be left when they see it fail? What happens when old age comes? Even the physically "beautiful" lose that beauty, it is fleeting, see the end results, look at Elizabeth Taylor's end road, she lost all her looks. Develop the things inside and what counts.

Even here you see the fat acceptance folks, who insist on the same values, of "looks", on the "body" focusing on fat people joining the mainstream shallow parade, emptied eyed fashion magazines, of imposed "beauty" standards and conformity. While I enjoy some fashion and art, if it's kept in its rightful place, most of it is not.

And for those who see it fail, as I have spoken about on this blog, such people are hidden from the size acceptance world, the people put in the closet, because they are not pictures of vitality, robustness or fat "love your body" ethos that forces pecking orders of whose healthier and whose not. We are in a culture that is obsessed with the physical, the surface, the shallow. Size acceptance as I have stated goes with this status quo. I refuse it.

Health At Every Size? And Healthism in the Size Acceptance Movement

Read this article for context:"Goodbye NAAFA: Why I Left the Size Acceptance Movement Behind", this article is kind of a continuation of the points I make there.

One large size acceptance organization is ironically named Health At Every Size or HAES promoted by the Association For Size Diversity and Health and is growing and popularity, getting the word out to professionals and others. Denial of the health problems related to fat really takes hold in a group that purposely turns a blind eye to the sick and fat. Paul Campos who is a spokesman for HAES in his book "The Obesity Myth, somehow manages to exclude super-sized people in general with a main focus on the moderate and mild fat or "The wish I was skinny" crowd. This sentence sums up the weird rabbit hole and ideals of the HAES movement: " A healthy weight is the weight a person maintains while living a healthy life" [p.79] Consider that sentence and the implicit backhanded judgements within it.

Entire chapters are devoted to proving that fat doesn't affect health, and that those who complain of hurting knees and edema,are a bunch of whiners.

Read this one too."The Reason why the disease of obesity doesn't kill those who suffer from it, and why it remains impossible to cure are one in the same because it doesn't exist'" [pg 41]

What!?? Talk about wiping away endless people's experiences.

Can't they admit fat is even a symptom of illness? I suppose not. While some tenets of HAES are good things to follow for health:

•Accepting and respecting the natural diversity of body sizes and shapes.
•Eating in a flexible manner that values pleasure and honors internal cues of hunger, satiety, and appetite.
•Finding the joy in moving one’s body and becoming more physically vital.

I would like to take all these HAES followers and NAAFA fat activists on a visit to a nursing home that specializes in the rehabilitation of obese people who have lost all mobility and suffer an array of health problems and tell me straight to my face after visiting this facility that obesity is never a disease or even the symptom of one.

While exaggerations do exist to sell diet products oppressing hordes of mildly fat people, doctors aren't being "mean" to suggest a correlation between ill health and obesity. Many become fat from a variety of causes, some even mixed and find themselves in the same boat.

Does Health at Every Size apply to 500lbs? 400lbs? Find me even one 350lb person of average height capable of running a marathon. How many 400lbers do you see in the Olympics? Seen any fat basketball players lately? Even the "Refrigerator" of Chicago Bears fame was forced into early retirement from his bulk. While the HAES folks are right to nod to the fact to the genetic undergirdings of obesity, no one tried to tell Robert Wadlow, the world's tallest man, that he was as healthy as everyone else and that just some "positive thinking" would cure his leg problems and other ailments that came from his height.

Many don't know this but there is a dimension of healthism within size acceptance, that is so focused on proving "Nothing is wrong with being fat"! It denies the reality of the majority of people who cross a certain mark. Even by the 200s, the pain began, I sit here, now knowing my stomach is killing my legs,and my time is limited to get this typed out. Part of me screams--"Are these people on drugs? Being fat hurts!"

When I was in size acceptance, this was during the years I was at my peak weights and the pressure to keep quiet about all physical suffering was the unwritten rule. Ironically I went to a NAAFA conference held at the most sprawled out hotel in the world that would have given a thin healthier person exhaustion just to navigate the place [no one thought of the sick there, or assumed all immobile fat people already had the scooter]. It was interesting to note one 600lb lady, playing "my stamina is better then yours" games with me adding to my distress.

I figured out fast during my time in the size acceptance world, that unless I presented myself as perky and healthy, that I wasn't wanted. This was not a world that embraced "thinker" type personalities but extroverts and adherents of delusional false "positive thinking". For a time, I basically said, lets just tell the truth! You think fat people do not know they are sick, or that their weight doesn't cause problems just on the sheer physical level? Why do we have to live in delusion in some sort of over the top people pleasing escapade? This doesn't mean helping the fat bigots out but just standing up with some integrity!

One fat activist got angry with me on a message board and asked me "Would it be so terrible if you let go of that fat negativity? What would happen if you thought about your health problems the same way a thin person thought about theirs?" She went on to tell me that the valuing any weight change was related to keeping fat prejudice in it's place and finished up telling me. "I cannot see anyway to seek 'the fat cure' without investing fat hatred".

The irony of a fully mobile 200 and something lb woman saying this to a woman who [at the time I was somewhere in the high 600s] is immensely absurd. Fat negativity? What is that? Wanting to stay alive? No one would tell someone dying of kidney disease, that we don't wish to seek the kidney cure anymore! The size acceptance world has lost it!

One thing about me, I'm an independent thinker and know when I am being bamboozled. By the way, having discussed these matters for years, most people see size acceptance as trapped in a morass of delusion and that includes many fat people. More damage is done to fat people demanding they must hide the realities of larger bodies, and surely the merely large still can function well, but to deny the super sized of us, a voice or even admitting our truths is a betrayal beyond belief!

What is wrong with not wanting to see friends sick anymore? What is wrong with wanting people not to lose the ability to have functional lives? What is wrong with asking true professionals and researchers for unbiased help?

Size acceptance if it really cared about fat people instead of just being the inverse side of the diet enterprises would have worked on helping there to be rehab centers for the obese [those are so few in number to be laughable] and demanding real research in obesity that isn't biased. They would have allowed super sized people to tell their truths, instead of foisting "think positive" New Age claptrap on them. By the way "intuitive eating" is badly named, intuition is related to what one feels, eat when you are hungry is good advice, but not eat when you feel like it.

Health at EVERY size? I don't think so. How absolutely ABSURD.

Part II: Me and The Size Acceptance Ideologues

Years ago on a few message boards regarding size acceptance, I used to get in trouble there too.

It was pretty much the same thing. Hey this is my website at least and can speak my mind without being censored though they'll wipe every comment quicker then any 1984 civil servant rewriting history for Big Brother.

You know one thing that isn't easy in this world is holding your ground when the group, tells you how very wrong you are and lacking in every positive attribute they can think of. All I know is to go their way, I am supposed to suspend reality itself and live in some sort of fantasty world. I probably have stepped on a few toes, with the two sides against the middle argument, the whole LOVE YOUR FAT side, actually helping the FAT HATER side OUT. Even one poster posted some stuff where she kind of lost me, she had good thoughts to share too.... I do not buy the premise that I have to prove how self-loving I am or not to have others give me worth, my worth comes from God, which I know even naming God, may give some of the hyper-liberals of size acceptance a few shudders, but there it remains. In other words, how come, when you try to get people to "think" deeper about this stuff, they always want to slap you with the "you have too low self esteem" 2 x 4? I guess because it works on a lot of people.

I *think* this could be about me. Maybe it isn't and hopefully I'm wrong. I like the blogger, she has interesting thoughts on freedom I find enjoyable. I'm a bit confused on this stuff, what is "healthy weight mysticism"? Some of the weird terms throw me off. Am I crazy to deem 700lbs-500lbs as being "unhealthy"? Stop the world from spinning I want to get off!

A fat person, or former fat person, buying into the ‘healthy weight’ mysticism is not ground-breaking.

In fact? It’s downright mainstream.

A fat person, or former fat person, blaming themselves for how our culture (mis)treats fat people and (mis)characterizes the fat experience is not ground-breaking. We are (mis)fits, after all, in that we are outliers, living in a world built for those who are smaller than we are. Self-blame for nonconformity is such a normal social response that it hasn’t seen a ground-breaking since Genesis.

What does she mean by self-blame? Didn't she read the rest of the blog, when I have shared how I got to be where I am at? And what does she mean by "mischaracterize the fat experience"? Does she even understand or even guess at what life at the higher weights could be? I guess if you do not follow the party line, you are automatically self-hating. How strange, well they know how to manipulate arguments don't they. If anything wanting to stay alive and desiring that MORE IS DONE for FAT PEOPLE beyond the FAILED pathways, I think shows more self-love and love for others then anything else.

As for non-conformity, who is the conformist, the one who stands with the crowd or the one who takes the heat, making a solitary stand? Let's not forget the diet mongers, weight loss surgery types and "thin to win" people aren't giving me any high fives either. According to these types, you'd think I had signed a Weight Watchers contract or something.

A fat person, or a former fat person, coveting the higher status granted by a smaller pants-size is such a foundational part of our culture that it supports a $60 billion-dollar (and growing) industry, not to mention providing employment for bored pseudo-science journos, teevee doctors, washed up celebrities, professional snarks, and any dieter in possession of a word processor.

Forget status, I just want to be able to walk a mile one day and to see my nieces and nephews grow up.

Also considering that 60 billion dollar industry, I've taken issue with them MANY TIMES on this blog. I think they profit off failure and repeat customers which is why the wheel keeps turning, but then I do not want to complicate things for some of these angry readers.

In summary: trashing a lifestyle you fear and failed at (body acceptance) while giving lipservice to some kind of bullshit concern for others under the guise of promoting venerable Healthistic ideals and body-driven moral imperatives isn’t ground-breaking.

How does one fail at size acceptance? That is an interesting premise. Where does the "fear" come in? I know some of these ladies are younger then me, being healthy, mid-sized and being able to dance the night away is a much different exsistence then life in a higher weight body. I suppose I *failed* in that I dared to disagree. Hey that's ok with me. Am I morally degraded for wanting to stay alive? LOL How about whoever else this could be meant for if not for me? How does one pass the size acceptance test, being the most jolly? Can someone fill me in on that one?

It’s the same old bull****. And the attempt to Trojan-horse fat-hate and body-shaming into HAES and FA/SA circles?

I'm getting the feeling that anyone who is over a certain body weight who wants to share their truth and reality, are not welcome in size acceptance but I sort of knew this years ago. They get very angry at anyone who threatens the core beliefs, like size acceptance is a cult, and you can't ask any questions. I should perhaps do a paper or some sort on how size acceptance is a manifestation of the human potential movement but skewed to another market. That may be of interest.

Ah, getting a few of them mad out there, is nothing new to me. Here is a secret for your fat delusionists, most fat people especially people hitting my sizes, know that size acceptance delusions aren't working for them either. We are cool with the "do not discriminate" aspects and calls for fat people to be treated like human beings, but the rest of your garbage about being happy at any weight and refusing any REAL cures and help even at the stratosphere weights is total nonsense.

I'm out there in the world, and talking to folks like myself all the time. I hope I am wrong, this was not meant for me, but you got to wonder why the anger? It's like you can't even have a two way talk whatsoever. Notice how the verbal beat down and censorship comes so quickly and so suddenly. Not one word allowed of dissent. I certainly couldn't even get a word in edgewise.


I noticed over on "The Truth is Radical" blog article, where my secondary comments got censored, Marilyn Wann and others made an appearance.

See this blog entry too...

"Thought Crime and Size Acceptance"

for context...

I found this comment very interesting...on "The Truth is Radical" article

I totally agree that fat is not a disease. It’s just … fat, and, like food, it’s neither good nor bad. It irritates me that so many people are looking for a cure. It’s like trying to find a cure for blonde hair. Completely pointless and seriously who wants everyone to be the same size anyway. How boring would that be.

To me the above rings so weird...

Has this person been near 700lbs and almost DIED?

Fat in it's extreme forms or even less extreme forms HURTS. I do not want people to be the same size, I do not think everyone should be a skinny minny but come on people it's called reality lets go look at a little bit of it. Here too the brush-offs continue.

Marilyn Wann then chimes in....[LOL wonder if she saw my link to this blog]

Marilyn Wann said,

August 1, 2011 at 7:29 pm

Brilliantly argued and supported! I also refuse to agree with any sort of weight horizon. I believe that defining anything in life based on weight is harmful, never helpful. Each one of us, living in our bodies, can seek our own best possible health and happiness in a weight-neutral manner. There are also no guarantees for any of us that we’ll be able to avoid pain or illness or injury or unhappiness. What sort of brittle, unhuman standard is it that would devalue people who experience the inevitable downsides of embodiment?

She refuses to agree with any weight horizon?

What about 800lbs and above? Yes there are people reaching those weights. I know about them from my visit at home doctors, and from own life experiences reaching out to other very overweight people. My health and happiness demands MORE answers then just go "move a little" and some vague nebulous "go eat healthy" which I already do to best of my ability, and so it does for other fat people. Of course Marilyn Wann would never consider anything regarding modern culture or what is being done to our food for even such heights of weight to become even more prevelant. I suppose her eyes would glaze over if I discussed endocrine disrupters. If I told her about the super-fat people my deceased friend knew in her nursing home--[she herself was more midized], who could not walk or had their skin break down, what would Marilyn Wann then have to say? Who is talking about anyone being devalued? Haven't I been devalued by these folks? Yes I have, by basically having my thoughts and opinions censored. Notice how they lump me in automatically with the other side. They are like political idealogues, that can't even imagine that another position beyond the other mainstream side can even exist.

If anything what I have written would give super fat people more value, in that their very lives would be honored as real help and answers would be found or demanded beyond the fat haters and the fat delusionists.

By the way, I do not plan on shutting up. I believe the way things are going there are many people getting fatter and sicker out there too. The delusionists can live in their fantasty world while some of us deal with reality. If people want to know what has held size acceptance back, as anything but just a "fringe" enterprise, there you have it.

Fat Acceptance Today: Marilyn Wann Never Changed Her Mind?

 

Years ago I looked at Marilyn Wann's Facebook page. She had some interesting stuff up there. It was after 2020, sadly she seemed to support all the usual "liberal causes" and Covid mandates and masking which obviously I don't agree with. I agree with liberals on SOME things, most are against the Iran war for instant. Being neither liberal or conservative keeps life interesting. Some of the fat conventions and other things she posted were of interest to me. 

I used to post many articles that disagree with her. I still do.

The dream days of size acceptance never happened. I'm not sure society changed. A few liberal circles are more welcoming to the fat. I guess that's a positive. Maybe there's less discrimination in a few places. The anti-discrimination stuff was always a good thing. I have noted there's some places and demographics who have different views of the fat. Most zine conferences, remember I go to those in the real world, will have a few younger fat girls, doing zines on being fat. I will buy those if I can and offer support. Some may have some of your classic size acceptance views and be "woke" but I figure I agree with them on enough basics. Of course I want to tell the young fat ones too, seek weight stabilization, prevention, find out why you are fat, avoid sugar, and "DON'T END UP LIKE ME!"

Much of the right wing are pretty nasty to fat people, especially on X they are always complaining about fat people and saying we are all parasites to the system with Fat and classism combined. It got old. When EBT was going to be cut, they posted racist and other memes insulting poor fat people. They claimed fat people bought junk food while living on EBT. I've written here about how poverty creates obesity via low quality food and stress.  I agreed with MAHA about food and other health matters, and the too many carbohydrates in the food pyramid, but none of them have made healthier food more accessible or affordable? My disappointment at not seeing some changes in those areas, has been upsetting. Decent food is far harder to acquire. They've made life more limited making it more expensive, less leisure, less things to do, locked down.  I am constantly frustrated trying to find decent food of quality around here, and use a combination of ethnic markets [foreign food is higher quality than American with far less preservatives] Aldi, and the veggie stand during warmer months.

Sometimes I would see anti-fat acceptance messages on X, and they were right that it was weird, that people getting fatter and sicker was pushed as acceptable. Years ago on this blog I constantly talked about why isn't anyone asking why everyone is getting so fat? There's something more wrong here then failed will power and people pigging out. No one listened and the problems just got worse. In the size acceptance world,  I was banned all over the place. No one cared that I was dying of being fat. I almost died at 28, my youth destroyed. Yes I had serious endocrine problems, high stage Lipedema and lupus related problems but I didn't know it yet. 

Years ago, I'd get into internet debates about how CICO was bullshit and diets failed. There seemed to be less judgment for disabilities and being fat in the UU world, then there was in more conservative churches. My working class IFB was good but that second one, my goodness, it was horrible. They were always dieting and competing over who was the thinnest. That was the worse. I wrote about the one preacher who told my entire first IFB church, that I was going to hell for being fat. 

People have gotten fatter and sicker.

Everyone just got sicker in American society and now everyone went running to the Ozempic. I won't take it because it can cause blindness and digestive problems. Sometimes I wonder what else is in those shots considering what has happened with the Covid vaxx?  Everyone is still desperate to be thin. That never changed. Covid and the bad economy probably cut the money flowing to the diet industrial complex, but "thin is still in".  Does anyone here remember all the articles I used to write where I theorized they were fattening us all up on purpose for profit? Hmm most people thought I was crazy, but when I look at the Ozempic landscape, hmm look how that worked out.  When they wanted me to go on it, they told me it cost insurance $1200 a month, That's a lot of money to be made. 

Of course the stuff doesn't bring a permanent cure, you have to stay on it forever or you regain weight. Sheesh.  The diet industry remains as loathsome as ever. It was used as a prison and control matrix on American women especially. It was used too as another dividing tool in this society. Some claim Ozempic has destroyed the body positivity movement and claim it is so miraculous soon there won't be any fat people. I don't think it's that great. 

Fat people are still as hated if not more than before. For some reason people on X thinks all super-fat people who are extreme liberals are all lining up for booster shots, not all of us! I gave up on the diet industry, as everyone here knows. It failed me. Shove your diets up your ass! [and I say this even with my weight on a downward trajectory]. CICO is a freaking joke.  Even if I lose more weight or not, my middle finger will be forever raised to the lying and conniving diet world. American food sucks. Why do I have to go to an ethnic store to even find decent quality garbanzo beans, that aren't soaked in calcium chloride [which keeps them from softening up in Indian recipes] or sulfites? 

The Size acceptance world while it had a few good ideas about ending discrimination and providing access, seemed to bring out some of the earliest "woke" people. These were people who denied reality for a political agenda. And that's the biggest problem with the size acceptance world. They deny reality. The reality is that fatness limits movement and affects the health especially over a certain line. You can't paper over this and people know it. This is why you can see endless videos and outrage against the fat acceptance movement. Just google fat acceptance and look at the contrarian videos and memes. One meme had all these fat people listed on it who died before 55.  My troubles in the size acceptance world were a future warning for the direction the left and "woke" would take with censorship and silencing people. I am fat but I live in reality. 

Saw this meme, I guess I fit the lower left one. I do wish more people figured out obesity isn't always about "overeating" and the multiple reasons behind it. I do agree that they "lie to people and say healthy at every size and ignore the fact they encourage people live in pain until they die extremely young"

Meme source

For those new to this blog, back in the early 2010s, I talked about my troubles with size acceptance, how they were ideologues who refused to listen. They forbid any fat person to talk about medical problems on their message boards and forced positivity. I argued with Marilyn Wann when I was under the internet moniker "Victoria" and was at or near 700lbs. I was dying. That woman called me a fat hater. I told her go visit bariatric nursing homes.

Years ago when re-entering the UU, I gave size acceptance another chance, but I grew bored and saw reality denied and they expected "woke" beliefs on everything. The groups were all politically correct to the hilt, and ignored anything that had to do with real life or economics. No one listened when I said, "Look this much obesity is a symptom of illness, it means people are not doing well medically, it means something is wrong with the food and environment". Normal people never even felt the push to overeat if you blame that and for those with low metabolism, their endocrine systems are broken. They ignored theories about plastics and endocrine disruptors. No one cared. It looks like I was right. Size acceptance still hasn't come into reality from what I can tell. 

The lives of the super-fat/infini fat is not the same as the small or midsized fat. The fatter you get the more you lose. I know if I hadn't lost the 250lbs in 1999-2001 from medical care, I would be dead today. No one makes it too long at 700lbs. 

That's something I noticed fat acceptance obliterated the reality of the infini fat, I guess they admitted we existed, but there was a covering so to speak as to what people dealt with. Years ago I realized they hid the problems that came and refused to discuss it. I realized years ago, that I was a 1 in 5 million person to have become 700lbs. That 400lb plus weight gain was a horror. I started this blog you know many years ago not to protest Covid nonsense or talk about my life as an ACON but to find out what was wrong with me. This blog helped me get my Lipedema [lipo-lymphedema/stage 4 diagnosis.
It also in the long run helped me figure out my lupus related/other endocrine problems and led to my diagnosis of Celiac Disease.

As late as 2023, Marilyn Wann was repeating the same messages. One thing about these extreme "woke" social justice warriors is they never listen to the marginalized people they claim to represent.  This happens in other areas. This was the same in the "woke" left, talk about your real economic life---no one cared. They had abandoned the poor and working class.  Some groups were elevated and others ignored.  Only the ruling class and its desires mattered. Maybe the same thing happened with fat. Surely the ones in power didn't want anyone questioning the rapidly declining health of people in America with the worsening obesity. The diet industry with its billions in profits didn't want anyone challenging their business. They profit off repeat business and failure after all. Those with money were listened to. Those without weren't. Their causes of the day are what mattered more than the real life of human beings. I realized thinking about my time in size acceptance; they resorted to censorship and silencing far more before other parts of society took up those banners. This is one reason I no longer consider myself a leftist. I got tired of being told to shut up. 

She claims here that her views remain the same. Does she realize how many people are now dying of obesity? I'm one who survived, don't forget that. Most people who hit 700lbs by their 20s are dead. It is so absurd to me how she couldn't even address the super-fat people like myself putting her "I can still work, and have money midsized-upper class and fantasy standards on the rest of us." The social justice warriors never let reality get in the way of their cults. One line could have been partially as a result of my disagreements with her years ago. 

".Your paper seeks to explain why fat people exist. Either we are badly behaved (see stereotypes mentioned above) or we are victims of an allegedly obesigenic environment (anti-fatness + classism), or we are diseased by definition, regardless of our actual health status (i.e., eugenics). We need no such excuses or explanation."

As I said before, she still ignores that very high weight causes health problems or often is the RESULT/symptom of health problems with no moral imperatives involved except that often patients in that desperate of a position aren't listened to. And as I wrote years ago, there is healthism here, where if you are fat and sick, you are to be hidden away and considered not worthy of a voice. 

It doesn't surprise me either that these liberal size acceptance people often took up for the Covid vaxx banner. I remember her Facebook was literally plastered in pro-vaxx and "Covid cautious" postings. There too the people getting sick won't be listened to. Big Pharm and corporations have the final say. That connection worries me. They never heard of "Died Suddenly? They must sweep those people under the carpet along with the people bed bound from obesity. 

I've kind of ignored the size acceptance world for some years, they weren't open to any outside views. I gave up and walked away. Sometimes I posted about them on here, like I do now.  I went to a few Zooms during Covid years, but gave that up. Fatties Against Fascism seemed to be a cool group to me for a while until I started to question some of the left. They also become pro-vaxx. I obviously don't support Antifa and never did, and well, as I wrote here, before I left the left. If you are no longer liberal, most of the fat acceptance world and size acceptance world, while I agree with them on SOME things, there were many things I no longer did. So I was kind of out of all that except the rare run-ins at the zine conferences. 

The fat acceptance world just didn't seem to fit anymore.  It seemed predominantly ruled over by middle class to upper class academics with purple or pink hair, who had the financial standing to live these lavish lives. They had no problems affording vacations [like the plus sized Disney women], or scooters or big people's clothing. Many were midsized, functional and able to work good academic and other jobs that paid good salaries. In other words, they didn't relate to my life and vice versa. Some of their messages on discrimination, access and better clothes, I was very happy with, other messages I was not. 

Many of the spokeswomen lived in very liberal West Coast towns for some reason.  These weren't people that were going to understand the life of poor or working class fat people.  They didn't understand the health horrors of severe obesity. 

Stories like this one bug me with these plus sized women going to Disney World. This article tries to  make looking fat look easy and fun.  50 more lbs and even these midsized fat women, would not be able to fit on any of those Disney rides. I'm glad they have fun, all people deserve to have fun. When young I used to go to an amusement park and even in the low 200s had difficulty walking and fitting on rides.  It's too bad Disney World has become so expensive most of the country can't afford the place anymore. I consider it a mousetrap for humans and their cash. 

How do they do all the walking without their feet hurting? Maybe they are wealthy enough to rent or have their own scooters. Even midsized people will get exhausted after a couple miles of walking. These women also are an anomaly to have the financial standing to spend thousands of dollars especially over the 300lb rubicon that brings job discrimination to most. Some of them are in the 200s. Most fat people are poorer. They are not. It's not realistic. Why do they dress like they are 12 years old? How did they have the money to afford Disney World trips in the early days? 

They do show how one can still live life in the midsizes, but I worry for them and others, if the weight goes up, the fun ends. 

Back to Marilyn Wann. It's kind of scary she never adjusted her message. Why not? Didn't she meet any fat people like me or do they simply not exist in her world. They probably don't especially if she lives in a wealthy West Coast city. People on disability checks don't live in towns that expensive unless they got in early to subsidized disabled housing. She may never run into anyone like that. 

It does bug me that over 10 years later, she sticks by the same opinions with no adjustment. She never visited that bariatric nursing home? Yes, the weight loss industry has failed us all, but ignored here, is that people did get far fatter and sicker in America. "Fat American" became more of a trope as even other countries like Europe who outlaw certain additives to their food and have more reasonable lifestyles, realize something went very wrong here as Americans got fatter and sicker. 

Advancing illness across the board.....

I tried to point this out to a few on and off, but got ignored. I have noticed, that young people, SOME seem to be having worse problems with obesity, where 400lb people and maybe even 500lb people aren't as rare as they used to be. When I hit the supersizes, I was extremely rare. In the 1990s, you just didn't see 400lb people. I hit the stratospheres, so I was stared at but 400lbs used to be a weight people would stare at you. Nowadays, you can go to an average Walmart and find someone over 400lbs within 15 minutes. This is now worse then it was in the 2010s.

The poorer the town, the easier it is to find a supersized person. There are more fat people. This may change as economy sinks, and food becomes less affordable. I am not sure if they will unload more cheap processed crap on us though or if the broken metabolisms will bring more obesity and bloating from malnutrition that is already rife.  Poverty made me fatter so anything can happen. 

For years, I wrote about how I hoped attitudes would change towards obesity and there would be more truth out there. It hasn't happened. I'm happy that there's more nice clothes to buy for the ones that can afford it in bigger sizes and a few young fat women in the zine world and other places who can defend themselves a bit better and discrimination at least in some circles [not the work world still] is frowned upon but very little else has changed. Everyone's entrenched in their camps and too many are still making profit. The size acceptance world runs cover for the increasing illness and obesity for the corporations whether knowingly or unknowingly. From what I can tell, their numbers have shrunk and outside of a few liberal niches, they became an ignored "fringe" group.

People ran to acceptance, because they don't want to be discriminated against or treated like trash. What else do people do when the answers given constantly fail? Even radical acceptance people teach acceptance if you fail to SOLVE a problem. That's why size acceptance came into being in the first place. [Caveat here, I don't consider weight a problem until it interferes with walking and health but it definitely does by a certain weight, I would say 300lbs for most] That's another thing never addressed, why do all the diets fail? The response on the other side is weak too. 

 I am against discrimination, but they silenced the voices that demanded answers as to why everyone was getting so fat and sick. The diet industry can go to hell, they profited off us and lied. They blamed and shamed me for years, while setting me up for failure. Their weight loss garbage never worked on me. I needed a working body, stability without trauma, better food and things I was not able to access years ago. The whole thing has formed a control matrix of madness. 

I don't diet, weight watchers and the rest of it is a joke. I wish I could afford a decent gym and still feel sorry Covid knocked me out of Planet Fitness, but now the chronic fatigue has left me overwhelmed on most days anyway. Just getting done what I need to has been harder and harder while allowing some spoons for art projects and endeavors.  I left the diet industrial complex long ago. Whatever weight loss happens in me is usually the result of medical care and for medical reasons, that includes my old 250lb weight loss too. My last weight was 460/462. I got old while fat and well I know I am never going to be thin at this conjecture in life so I accepted some reality. My eating is more rigid due to endless allergies [no potatoes since 1996], diabetes, financial concerns, gluten free, and kidney problems then most humans. I delay food when I can, to lower calories, like this morning I ate at noon and blood sugar was 110. Staying alive from diabetes means no sugar or very little, and eating regular meals. There's a point a person can only do what they can. Gluten free has changed some of the landscape and doctors already have lowered some of my prescriptions for vitamins or altered dosages due to improving malabsorption.

Being fat cost me big. If a person has a normal body and can avoid obesity and eat normal and move normal, do what you can. Live a basic life-style and avoid diets, ultra-processed food and metabolism drops. Make nutrition part of your life. Size acceptance people would not like me saying this but "tough". I have faced enough rejection for obesity in one lifetime. At least now I don't have to put up with as much BS as when I was young. Few are shouting "Fatty-Fatty Two by Four" at a woman on walker with multiple handicaps. Getting old when fat sucks. That's another thing no one talks about, the mobility issues, and the issues that surround "peeing", and UTIs. Getting old is better than the alternative, but the smaller someone is, let's be real, the easier their life is.

 It can get complicated for me lately, how much is chronic fatigue/lupus-related problems, Lipedema/deafness/autism/autoimmune problems or how much is from being fat? I can still walk but am so tired. However being fat is hard, if one can avoid it do so. Young people even if they are in the midsized categories should be cognizant of weight maintenance and prevention. AKA you may be a large functioning person but you don't want to turn into a larger non-functioning person. Some here may say, but Peep you have a lot more wrong with you than being fat, and it's true. Lipedema changes a lot of the story too, but I don't want anyone else to suffer what I did from misdiagnosis. The young need warned of what can happen even if other medical problems influence their weight so they can be discovered. 

You miss out, and if someone doesn't have to, and can get their body in order with a decent lifestyle and avoiding crap American food, do it. My obesity was off the charts. I don't know the exact numbers but I suspect only one in 5 million people hit 700lbs. That's why I use that number. Maybe with the increasing obesity the number isn't as unique anymore. I lost my career, family--they were narcissistic jerks, but the obesity was part of the story, where I was an "embarrassment" they wanted as little do with as possible. There's no coming back from that. Their betrayal can never be answered for. I wouldn't wish obesity on my worse enemy of this degree.

I haven't eaten a hamburger in 12 years except ONE bite of a hamburger patty--too small to affect my kidneys. I haven't eaten a piece of pie in 3 years and pie before then was a once every 6 months affair. So my life already is several  "diets" running in tandem. Try gluten free, that removes so many foods it's not funny. I don't believe in CICO, or the diet industry. I still believe we have been fattened up by toxic food, plastics, obesogens, stress, poverty and more.

 America is not normal, all we have to do is look at other countries to see that people come by their normal bodies far easier and they aren't beating themselves up to do it or spending 5 hours a day at the gym. Sadly while I agree with the fat acceptance movement at stopping discrimination and protesting some of the evils of the diet industry, they have done a lot of harm slamming the door on investigating why everyone is getting so fat and sick and ignoring the reality of the poisonous environment we all live in today. The young are not doing well and they deserve better. We need truth for healthier lives.